There are a few workouts the mere mention bring a smile and sparkle to your eye with memories of the past or visions of what might be. The Touchdown Beatdown, Dr. Feelgood’s 10lb ice bag workout in the parking deck, the Forest Gump, and the Def Leppard WOD. When the Folsom Site Q Ball Joint asked a few weeks back if I could Q the Beer Workout on a Saturday, well, that is quite the honor. Officially, the Beer Workout has been completed four previous times. Each one of those unique to its own. Last summer, the beer workout was performed at Midoriyama and then Old School. I learned something that steamy morning at Old School. Except for Seuss, there were some gluttons for alcohol. Even Leppard showed up for more White Claw having pounded SA’s drink of choice a few days earlier. Truth be told, it was more like a continuation of Friday night party than it was a workout. Sure, we’re here for a good time but we gotta get some work in too, right? For this year, coming to Folsom, I knew the challenge had to be much harder – so I went to several stores and went bold with IPAs and 22oz or greater sized beers. Here is how it went down:
Warm-up:
SSH IC x 1 – mosey from the lower parking lot to the tennis courts at high pace.
Arrive at tennis courts for the W drill. What is the W drill? Start at the baseline, run forward, touch the net, backpedal to the “T” and forward to the net, backpedal to the baseline – do 2 burpees – move to the next court. Do all sides of 6 courts. How’s you’re heart rate feeling? Fast? Good! Warm-Up part Deaux
- Toy Soldiers IC x 10
- Imperial Walkers IC x 10
- Side to Side Lunge IC x 10
- Alt Arm Extensions IC x 10
Stay on the tennis courts for the beer 4 corners. Of course there are directions, that’s why the Mayor posted, because Jackie hadn’t filled up his quota. So the instructions were:
- 6 HR Merkins + 12 Squats + 18 Knee to Elbow Crunches + 24 SSH’s
As I said that, Gearwrench and Striper do the 6 HR Merkins and take off for corner 2 – should have let the bat flippers fail because the rest of the PAX (including Mayor) were “actively listening” and heard me say do ALL 4 exercises at EACH FOUR CORNERS. I ran to catch said batflippers and explain what they missed. By corner 3 the group had caught up with the number of reps and we more or less finished together. Time to mosey back to the lower parking lot.
We had 14 PAX so dividing into equal teams would be a challenge. I soon learned Folsom is better at math than Midoriyama but they sort of wing it. Kind of like now-a-days when the teacher tries to get you to count circles but instead you make tick marks – you eventually get to the same answer. Spackle tries to intervene and assume the Q to direct the teams – sorry son – I appreciate and fully respect your military service but this is my Q so get in line please (sir). I have 4 empty kegs and they will be used for overhead squats. I have 4 sets of bricks and they will be used for hammer curls (to get ready for the drink’in part). I have some dumbbells and they are used for weighted lunges. Those w/o an exercise run to the flags and back. That part went about as smooth as remedial math at summer school. The guys passed but it was pretty damn ugly doing it. Set #2 – the kegs were used for bent over rows, the bricks for high plank (or in Mayor’s form – CDD’s) pass throughs, and dumbbell goblet squats. Extra PAX ran to flag and back. Each PAX did at least one set of each part or some just pretended to workout. It passed the time either way.
Ok – we burned enough time for the MAIN event. The cooler is full of various nasty beers. Some had been in my garage for a year and not cooled at all. Be careful what you select. As I mentioned, learning lessons and attempting to make improvements so the PAX actually exercised this year – the “Picker” had a choice – drink the beer in the allotted time (1:30 to 1:39 – depending on the round) or run to the flag and back as a penalty. The Picker could also choose to run instead of drink the beer. What would the PAX do? They had to do the actual exercise on the can. Round one began with 1:39 (99 seconds for 99 beers on the wall…make sense?). Each beer had 2 exercises on it. During the allotted time, the PAX would perform exercise 1 until form broke or they were sick of it then go to exercise 2. They worked for the entire time. I can’t recall all the rounds but most “Pickers” drank instead of running. Only Ball Joint had to run the penalty. He said he could have finished his Busch Light Ice but wanted to savor it longer. That’s a true HIM. I’ll share what I remember about the rounds (in no particular order)
- Natty Ice 24 oz – Big Boy & Flutter Kicks
- Ice House 24 oz – had been in my garage for a year – not cold – Volt pounded that like he’d never tasted sweet nector in his life. PAX did burpees and Mike Tysons – Volt probably came out on the better end…
- Busch Light Ice – Ball Joint took his time and ran the penalty (with his beer) – PAX did CDD and High Plank
- Bud Lt 24 oz – Maybeline I think drank this – he splashed Merlot – the PAX howled with glee while doing Parking lot suicides and Rocky Balboa
- Old English 32 oz – also in my garage for a year – whoever selected (Striper maybe?) ran – Pax did 8 count body builder and ski abs
- Appalachian Brewery Spoaty Oaty IPA (16 oz) Orangeman gladly drank and we begrudgingly did ski abs and 90 degree toe touch; Orangemen claims he was buzzed a few minutes later…
- Natural Light 25 oz – Short Sale ran instead of drank; PAX did turtle crunch and imperial walker squats
We may have done a round or so more but it was another fun party. We got Maybeline to yak and a lot of mumble chatter. I realized the challenge for the PAX needs to be at least 24oz otherwise it is too easy.
Let me know if you’d like the beer workout to make splash at your AO.
Announcements: Convergence tomorrow at Folsom, F3 dads 7/23 at GasHouse, Tubing 7/30. Prayers for a number of our PAX were shared in COT.
Thanks for allowing me to lead. Thanks to Ball Joint for buying my breakfast at Timeout. Respect to Volt for pounding a hot nasty beer. We had some non-Folsom guys post for this unique experience. I awarded Orangemen a full IPA for his effort. Thanks to Mayor for keeping the chatter lively.
Until the next party – it was a pleasure to lead.
Short Sale