Tales of a Gorge Runner

This is the tale of van 2 of F3GashouseUno from the perspective of a gorge runner. What is a gorge runner you ask? Well it’s a PAX that is willing to do about any ridiculous thing that the rest of the group is willing to try. Whether he is suited for it or not. Why am I a gorge runner? Well this is my 6th 200 mile relay in 2 years(3rd in the last 6 months). I’ve been pretty clear about how I feel about running but because my brothers want to do it I don’t want to miss the experience. The experience is what it is all about for me. Living to tell the tale and sharing that with others.

Before we even left Belmont the chatter got good. There was talk of liking sausages that pretty much ran the whole race. I mean who doesn’t like a good sausage! Tooltime was in his normal ranting form so he had to be checked before we got across the river. We had a mix of first timers and experience in our van. Runners and non-runners. Virus did a great job as a driver. Buckeye put a special spot for counting his wrong turns on the van(the whole driver side) and we barely used any of it. That’s a lot of driving and a lot of turns over the course of a few days. Ask any runner and they will tell you the driver is as important as anyone running. Buckeye reminded Virus of this after each leg by positively enforcing that Virus had yet again crushed another leg! Speaking of Buckeye, he killed all of his legs and ended each one looking like a soap opera star. I mean the guy is easy on the eyes(this was discussed by a few haters after the race). That being said if he gets hungry you better feed him fast!

Pizza Man stepped in at the last minute to take of some challenging runs. I mean we all know of his running abilities but to do what he did was special. Not everyone can jump into a 1.88 or 2.5 mile run in a few days. All joking aside he was much appreciated. He smoked the runs he had and even ran through one exchange to companion run with Tooltime in the middle of the night for a total of 12 miles! Anyone who can put up with Tooltime for 9.5 miles has some grit. Tooltime stepped up this race stating from the start “give me the longest legs”. The man ran over 24 miles for the race at a stupid fast pace. I wish I had just half of the drive that man has. The most impressive thing about him on this race was the fact that he didn’t snore. This guy normally runs everyone out of the van but not one peep the entire time! I guess that nose job he had worked!

Hipaa was solid as always. Has anyone else noticed this guys improvement in running? Within the last 9 months the guy has went from barely running to a blistering pace. He’s done a half mary and plowed through this relay! I’ve never seen anyone improve a part of their fitness the way this guy has. Solid work brother! Bedpan did solid work as well. I’ve known this guy for a long time! We’ve done a lot of stuff together that is best left untold so you still have a favorable view of us. That being said never would I have pictured the two of us in this scenario. Bedpan ran out of his comfort zone and never once complained and said anything negative about it(I complain all the time). He just did work. As a matter of fact he was rather enthusiastic. He ran 3 legs all similar in length but farther than he usually runs.

By some miracle we had two teams that stayed within minutes of one another so we got to be at each exchange zone with more Gastonia PAX. Everyone stayed safe and pushed the rock. This thing could not have worked out any better. By the end I said my usual “I’m done with this crap”! But as I have many times on Monday morning I write this thinking about the next race. I said I would drive the BRR but I know I’ll run. Yes Gastone I just said I’ll run. The thing about it guys is you don’t have to be the fastest or fittest runner to complete one of these. It’s a race yes but we aren’t doing it to win. We are doing it for the time spent with each other and I don’t want to miss any of that.

Until next time(because there will be) Gorge Runner OOOOUUUTTTT!!!!!!