A Trailer Full of Whoop A$$

My Saturday morning got off to a frustrating start. The reason began earlier this week with my M requesting my help to transport a couch to Lincolnton by 10 am so it can be recovered. My daughter’s moving into a house for her junior year and apparently the current fabric of the white couch needs to be “off-white” to better match the decor of this old place my daughter will share with two other friends. It spurred up a “conversation” that I paraphrase:

• Me: “is this really necessary?”
• M: “what do you mean?”
• Me: “this couch is already white, I’m spending time, effort and money to transport a couch to an upholstery place so it can become off white. I don’t see the need.”
• M: offers steely glare
• Me: “This thing is going to get stuff spilt, thrown up, and who knows what else…”
• M: “Their girls, not slobs like you…”
• Me: “Well I don’t see the need, I mean…”
• M: Cuts me off “I’ll spend my money how I want to spend it!”

Well before this idea of making a white couch off white, I had committed to Wirenut to Q The Old School on June 25th.  To be efficient, I rented the small U-Haul Trailer ($30) Friday and Roscoe was kind enough to help carry and load it into the trailer. I’ve never had one of these behind my vehicle before. My trial by fire began at 0635 that morning on my first attempt to back out of my driveway. As some of you are guessing, it didn’t go so well. After several starts and stops and 10 minutes later, I’d managed to get enough clearance to wheel forward through my front yard. Somehow the trailer stuck with me as I bounced off the curb and began going well over the recommended travel speed as I cursed myself for not getting up earlier. Since the PT test was at GasHouse, I didn’t know who would actually post at OS. In a frantic attempt to alert someone, I texted Def Leppard of my status. I sped through the streets and as would be the case, I caught every red light possible. I hung a left on Church Street and rolled through the stop sign at Oakland. I see a gathering of PAX which included the Mayor tapping his watch. I entered the parking lot and angled at him. I think Suess really thought I was going to hit them. I came to a halt and popped out of the vehicle.

“Get in the F-ing circle – Side Straddle Hops on my count, ready? Go!” 15 of those in cadence, though I seriously considered doing 60 minute’s worth. Lots of chirping at the Q for being late. I tied my left shoe then on to Toy Soldiers IC x 10. I tie my right shoe. Imperial Walkers IC x 10. Still chirping. Side to Side Lunge IC x 10. Finally alternating single arm chest openers. Then we paused for the Pledge.

I go over to the trailer and open the roll door. I offer the PAX the choice – grab a block or the couch – we’re going to carry something today. They opt for the blocks. Now, admittedly, I was late and didn’t like Mayor’ calling me out but it was deserved. It was made worse in my suggesting for the PAX to run a lap while I set up the first Thang. I got a negative Ghostrider – that pattern is full, so we’ll just watch while you work. Again – I need to revisit the QSource on Preparedness, so point received. Known for complicated workouts, I did not want to disappoint my fans at Old School so grab a pen and paper and keep up.

1. Round 1: Murder Bunny 10 yards then do 10 Merkins. Run to the 50-yard marker and return, pick up you block at the 10 and carry it to the start line.
2. Round 2: Lunge Walk with block to the 20, do 10 merkins then roll over for 20 chest presses with the block. Leave the block; run to the 50-yard line and return, grabbing your block on the way to start.
3. Round 3: Overhead carry your block to the 30-yard line, 10 merkins + 20 chest presses and 30 goblet squats with your block. Leave block, run to the 50 and return, carrying block to start.
4. Round 4: tray carry (hold arms 90-degree angle, carrying block at waist level) to the 40-yard line. Do 10 merkins, 20 chest presses, 30 goblet squats, add 40 overhead presses. Leave block, travel to 50, return and carry block to start.
5. Round 5: PAX choice to carry the block to the 50-yardline. 10 merkins, 20 chest presses, 30 goblet squats, 40 overhead presses, then 50 dips (use the block or find a bench or whatever). Carry your block back to start and the set is complete.

At this point the arms and shoulders were feeling good. It took about 20 or so minutes for this. The only thing that sucks is bringing the blocks – but worth the effort. Will tinker with making the run longer and different challenges to begin or end each round.

Next up on the old Weinke is a block version of the HERO WOD – Dan Whitten. Tiny Tank introduced this to the Goat years ago so I borrowed it and made some adjustments.

• 10 block swings
• 10 block jumps
• run 50 yards and return
• 10 blockees
• 10 overhead presses
• run 50 yards and return

The last run after overhead presses was not part of the instruction but the Mayor wasn’t listening adding this on this own and others followed. Sometimes it’s just good to let ’em go. Here is an inside tip for those keeping tabs – Mayor does not like the block jumps. Jump over to the left and back over the block right = 1 rep. He complained persistently about these sucking. He kind of complained about a lot of stuff at this point but he kept blaming Blart for some reason. JJ and Suess pushed through. Wirenut missed sometime taking the Browns to the Superbowl but he returned to embrace the challenge. Our small group was battling hard this muggy morning. We did that circuit three times total which increased the heart rate and fatigued our muscles.

Thang #3 – Catch Me If You Can – grab a partner. P1 lunge walks with the block. P2 did 10 merkins. Then switch. After the first set, Blart requested Hand Release Merkins, the Q obliged. Sister Act would be so proud – wherever he was this morning. We went the length of the field.

Some of the PAX began requesting Mary as I suppose they were sick of block work. Ok – we’ve got 10 minutes left so let’s incorporate the blocks with Mary.

• 10 Flutter Kicks in cadence holding block overhead; pause with feet 6″ and do 10 chest presses; being 10 more flutters holding the block; 10 more chest presses – ohhh – the PAX hated this. Let’s do more.
• Hold block overhead and do 15 Big Boys raising your head between your outstretched arms under the block – more grunts but time to drop the blocks.
• 15 elbow to knee sit ups
• 15 Leg Raises
• 15 Freddie Mercury
• 15 knee to elbow sit ups
• 15 American Hammers
• 15 90-degree alternating toe touches
• 15 can opener left
• 15 can opener right

Announcements – something about a future convergence but details were fuzzy – check Slack. Prayer requests for family, Turtleman, Huck, and others. I took us out.

This was a burner for sure. Great to have candor from my man Mayor. Time management is my Achilles and I should have understood hauling a trailer would require more time to orient and get to the AO ahead of schedule to set up the workout. Still the PAX worked hard and we enjoyed the chatter. Thanks to Wirenut for allowing me to Q and to the PAX for some amount of grace with the late start. I believe you got your money’s worth.

I talked with Balljoint at coffeteria – mark your calendars for July 9th when the famous beer workout makes it’s way to Folsom.