Month: March 2022 (Page 2 of 12)

Bone broth with a double side of mustard or the tall tales of the 2022 P200 Gashouse Coconut Horses Van 2 TEAM TASSEL:

Need a ride?
The crack of dawn

Four perfect strangers skulked around the backside of Pocket’s garage like a bunch of henchmen from a low-budget straight-to video B movie waiting for our getaway car and driver. Rusted out vehicles were strewn around in various stages of being chop-shopped while rats, snakes and assorted lowlifes struggled for supremacy in the detritus of shattered glass, twisted metal, flat tires, weeds, and broken dreams. Is this our ride we wondered as a too sweet Mercedes Benz SUV made its way down the driveway to the back of the hideout. It parked and the door opened. A sunglass wearing, perfect haired, toothpick chewing, styling and profiling dude hopped out. You the big boss? Nope. You the driver? Nope. Chop shop guy. Need a VIN changed? Body lengthened? Sound system? Custom sauna with bar? Mirrored ceiling? Pink champagne on ice?

This is a bad idea.
Shortly after sunrise

YHC watched the sky lighten and internally fumed as every minute wasted imperiled my well-crafted plan. “Who put this gang together? The Joker? Riddler? Catwoman?” I knew that I should have declined this job. Unfortunately, I got mouths to feed and bills to pay.
Eventually our driver with the getaway vehicle shows up late. At least he picked an ubiquitous black Amazon van to keep us incognito. We tossed our crap in the back, put our asses in the seats and got going down the road.
YHC begins sizing up the gang with all the others doing the exact same thing. “Look at this goofball”. “Yikes.” “What rock did this guy climb out from under?” “That guy is older than Methuselah.”
We realize we got to make the best team possible from this collection from the isle of misfit toys: A number crunching grumpy old geezer; computer geek toting punchcards and a broken Commodore 64; washed up race car driver with a shade tree mechanic side hustle; crooked judge; Duke Nukem who makes Homer frigging Simpson look like Einstein; Vietnam flashback Colonel Mustard; and that chop shop dude. With the exception of the rookie driver all of us had experienced these mishmash ups before.

Need a second opinion on that?
Somewhereville Souf Cackalacky

Only contact information we had to go on from the big boss was: cross the stateline, drive to this address, look for character from a Star Wars movie for a valuable bracelet he would pass to Gavel. Oh, wonderful. A Star Wars character? There’s only like a whole universe to pick from. Droids? Jawas? Ewoks? Snoke? Wookies? Stormtroopers? JarJar Binks? When the rest of the van found that out you would’ve thought they were going to comic-con. Luckily we had a resident expert Star Wars nerd in the bunch. Only thing he was good for this trip. They had fantasies of Princess Leia chained to Jabba the Hut. I knew better. If it sounds too good to be true…

The ghosts of P200s past?
Dang near lunchtime

We arrived at the double secret probation exchange zone for the drop. It was at a church with graveyard. To secure the area YHC sent Gavel up on the road as a lookout.
Is the big Nantan in the sky trying to tell me something? The ghost of Allen Tate looking for his exchange zone? YHC recognized other shady characters Boudin, DDC, Vuvuzela that he had previously done dirty deeds with, to or for. Memories quickly flooded in, some good, some bad, Nomads, CSAUPs, Bourbon Chases, P200s, McA-Ville to C-ville, Hickory, somehow we had survived to meet here. YHC rubbed his hands together and evilly laughed, nobody’ll ever think to look for the bracelet here!

All rise for hizzoner Judge Boner
Early afternoon

The plan was to turn this into a relay. We could then make good use of the van as a decoy. Everyone ran and ran and ran until they had to stop and transferred the bracelet to the next runner. Like a gift that keeps on giving. Just like the Pony Express. Minus the horses. Maybe the local tribes decide to not look for scalps today.
My thoughts were interrupted when Gavel alerts us from his lookout position, he sighted a Sarlacc making its way over to his position. WTH is a Sarlacc?
Gavel accepted the valuable bracelet from the Sarlacc and started hoofing it down the road grasping the valuable bracelet for dear life.

It was hot. It was sunny. It was overcast. It was awful. It was uphill. It was downhill. It was glorious.

First legs Gavel 8.57, Slaw 5.58, Oompa Loompa 9.03, Pockets 3.21, Def Leppard 3.96, and Freight 7.89 miles.

Mistake by the Lake
Act 2
Scene 3
Late afternoon

Prior to getting to the exchange zone, we got word the big boss was there waiting to greet us. We arrived to see The Penguin listening to a tale of how Bedpan beat a dog off with a stick. Is that a double entendre? To each his own I guess.

Later we found out that Roundup, Wichita, Bedpan, and Gear Wrench went “swimming with the gators” in the lake.
Dang, that Penguin dude don’t mess around.
When a park ranger showed up looking for the bodies, it was time for us to mosey on down the road.

Sensing our displeasure from his being quite tardy to Pocket’s Garage, our driver combined the absolute worst mix of bad women drivers, Death Race 2000 and The Fast and Furious to make the time lost. Squinting through the space between the steering wheel and the dash, he stomped the gas, and with brakes untouched we made our way to destination miles away in record time. Passengers, luggage, curbs, rumple strips, and roadkill had a very bad day. Who knew road signs were merely suggestions?

Interlude
The previous segment of our production was brought to you by Lone Star Barbecue.
The grub was well received.
Sounds and rotten smells weren’t.

And now back to you, Sandy Vee.

Seymour Johnson
Sundown
Rural convenience store in the middle of SC.

Pulled up to the diesel pump and overheard the following conversation:
At Pump #1
“That thing is too big for this hole.”
At Pump #2
“Turn around the other way.”

Epilogue

The 24 hours of our adventure turned into an endless sea of gloom, despair, and agony on me. YHC staggered from van to van in search of the yellow elixir to reduce his case of menstrual cramps.

Somehow, someway, through hook or crook we made it to the end to consign the valuable bracelet to its final resting place.

In exchange for risking friendship, sleep, sanity, life, limb, and the pursuit of happiness, all we got was a tee shirt, medal, beers or sweet tea and two tacos. The lucky ones found grilled bratwurst and mustard.

At dinner we got a lengthy sermon on “Repent from your sin of carbohydrate lust” as given by the Most High Acolyte, Keeper of the Flame, Red Meat Eating, Proselytizing Prophet between dip spits of Devil’s leaf.

Second legs Gavel 3.77, Slaw 9.73, Oompa Loompa 5.63, Pockets 3.67, Def Leppard 3.86, and Freight 7.72 miles.
Final totals Gavel 15.23, Slaw 20.94, Oompa Loompa 16.62, Pockets 10.85 (ran extra credit 1.96 with Oompa), Def Leppard 15.44 and Freight 21.29 miles.

As always, YHC had a great time with his F3 brothers. Slaw for keeping this old jarhead on his toes at each exchange zone; Freight for his encouraging word; Def Leppard for being the grownup in the group; Gavel for his youthful zeal; Pockets for directions; and finally to Ozark who had the worse job of all us, driving a bunch of preteen acting adults on the back roads of south Carolina.

What happens in the van, stays in the van. Anybody got any mustard?

Quick warm up of side stradle hope and off to a mosey around the track. Where we met a circle of weights laid out in front of us. Some 25′ and some 10′ . The 25’s were being passed while we did various exercises like american hammers, crunchy frogs with the smaller ones, leg flutters, squats, behind the back with weight etc. We did at least 3 rounds solid core work out , then moved to the tic, tac, toe boards. This we did 3 rounds of competition against each other with bear crawl to the board and crab steer back. Once we got to the board you had to do hand release merkins started with 5 and escalate 5 each time you played.  Switch partners next round lunge there do burpees, you get the picture… 3 rounds of the games with different routines. Then it was time to mossy back with that indian thing where you chase each other with the weights we had in the circle. Anyway solid work out proud to be a part of F3.

Termite out!

4 servant HIM’s at the Sword today.  We discussed the craziness of Disneyworld, stories of the recent P200, the largest 13-year-old in Gaston County, and of course the Word.

Laminations 3:22-23

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Thanks for the opportunity.

Big Pappy

There were 13 strong at Folsom expecting an Allan Tate Q, but Alan Tate had other plans.

Due to the construction, we started at the lower lot. We warmed up with various exercises and Wirenut came in hot. The PAX thought a squat themed work out would be required.

The Thang:

• We moseyed to the pavilion and did sets of squats, burpees, big boys, and calve raisers.
• We then headed up to the flag, stopping at speed bumps for more squats, merkins and LBC’s.
• We then moseyed to the gazebo road and did more squats and big boys.
• We then took a mosey down to the lower shack for more squats, burpees, merkins and dips.
• We finally made our way back to start doing more squats along the way.

We finished up with the COT, announcements, and prayer request.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

Big Pappy

Three strong at Members only, one ran two rucked.

Coffee and discussion followed.

Announcements: convergence 4/02, honey hunter game 4/24, speed for need 4/09

Prayer requests: Huckleberry, Turtleman, Tesla and family, Tiger and family, people of Ukranie

YHC took us out

Always an honor

Tiger

Relay weekend, so it was a given numbers would be low across the region.  With all the horses recovering from their Kentucky Derby, Stinky Bird and YHC filled the gap and got in a few miles.  The classic loop got its first week off in a long time.

Q Source discussion today on Shorties spoke to the importance of being a present father.  In wondering how, we looked to our own parents and their examples, good and bad, being more important than any words they ever told us.  Keep them safe.  Give them all your love (and according to Dredd, all your money).  And know that God is ultimately in control.

Prayer Requests:

• Stinky Bird’s family
• PAX traveling and recovering

Great start to the morning.

Yabba Dabba Doo

We rucked.

If you weren’t here, you missed a good workout at Diablo Sammich.

It has been a while since YHC has Q’d The Fighting Yank and looking forward to it…Wanted to bring a good beatdown but was worried about the weather, so YHC has created two wienkes, Plan A, no rain and Plan B with rain.

It’s now 7am and time to get to work….Usually both bootcampers and The Bunker groups start out with a warmup together, well, that’s not happening today. No rain, so time to execute plan A. Bootcampers, let’s Mosey!

Uh oh! train rolling through blocking Main St, the direction YHC planned to go….No Worries, modify when needed. YHC leads the group down street behind Old Stone and circle back up along the train tracks. Stop for a couple warm-up exercises. PAX start grumbling there was no disclaimer announced. Well, all the PAX in the group this morning has been with F3 for at least a year, so you know what to expect….

Now mosey over to parking lot behind Catawba River Outfitters a few more warm-up drills.

We then mosey to parking lot across from Jekeyll and Hyde for the THANG:

10 Rounds adding a new exercise and increasing the reps by 5 from the 1st rep, ie, 5, 10, 15, 20….

ROUND 1 – 5 burpees, run around the parking lot

ROUND 2 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, parking lot run

ROUND 3 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, parking lot run

ROUND 4 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks,parking lot run

ROUND 5 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks, 25 squats, parking lot run

ROUND 6 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks, 25 squats, 1 minute of elbow plank, (the mumblehatter started increasing, why 60 secs of planks and not 30 sec since the number of reps should be 30…YHC simply explained, I am the Q and this is what we do!)  parking lot run

ROUND 7 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks, 25 squats, 1 minute elbow plank, 30 American Hammers, parking lot run

ROUND 8 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks, 25 squats, 1 minute elbow plank, 35 American Hammers, wall sits with 40 o/h presses I/C, parking lot run

ROUND 9 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks, 25 squats, 1 minute elbow plank, 35 American Hammers, wall sits with 40 o/h presses I/C, 45 side straddle hops, parking lot run

Round 10 – 5 burpees, 10 ‘mericans, 15 LBCs, , 20 dry docks, 25 squats, 1 minute elbow plank, 35 American Hammers, all sits with 40 o/h presses I/C, 45 side straddle hops, 50 flutter Kicks (I think!)

Mosey to The Fighting Yank and finish off with 5 Burpees, join the Bunker PAX for COT

COT

Announcements

Prayer Request

Doodle’s closed us out in prayer.

Thank you all for the opportunity to lead this morning and all the hard work you put in.

Breaker Breaker

It was a beautiful, cool morning at the downtown Dallas metro AO. The FRC crew went out of their normal jurisdiction to invade the northern territory for a longer run than normal. It’s race season so errybody seems to be getting in runs when they can. When the appointed time came, there were 7 PAX willing to take the DRP including Rolex who was making his 3rd workout since his FNG post last Friday at Slaughter’s beatdown. Gator made it up for his first Dallas workout too! This is what happened…

Warmup of Goofballs IC, Merkins IC and The Patented Right Over Left IC

By this time there was a Ford truck that came plowing into the parking lot like he owned the place. Site Q Wirenut had decided to grace us with his presence. Thanks for making it to the workout!

Mosey around the corner to the fired department driveway for the Pledge of Allegiance and something else.

Mosey again, this time to the half circle drive at the old courthouse for The Thang

Semicircle Funtime – Do 10 Merkins, whatever the Q decides that gets us from start to the next position where we do 20 Squats and then sprint down the sidewalk to the original starting point.

First we bear crawled the semicircle, which Mayor made sure to emphasize that I don’t know how far that is. Actually I did, that’s why we did it. Some of us added 20 Monkey Humpers at the nadir of the semi to break it up because it’s really, really far. Thanks Mayor!

On the next round we did Karaoke L, then the next one was Nur and then Skips. Along the way, YHC asked individual PAX what we had done so far, some wanted to detail the entire workout including number of reps, others just focused on the different portions like Karaoke or Nur. Good conversation.

We also explained to Rolex that one of F3’s motto’s, along with “Always Be EHing, is “Leave No Man Behind, but Leave No Man Where You Found Him!” Aye!!!

YHC decided to switch up the first exercise to 20 Def Leppard Merkins (CDDs) and 30 Monkey Humpers at the other side. For the semicircle distance we did Nur again, Butt Kickers, High Knees and finally Karaoke Right for Buckeye.

Fellowship mosey over to the courthouse stairs where we bear crawled up (easy) and down (hard) the other side, then walked backward up and down the stairs.

After reading a memorial plaque that adorned one of the light poles nearby, we moseyed to the gazebo for Lazy & Selfish Dora 1234. No partner needed for this one and we stayed in the same place. We did 50 Big Boy Situps, 100 Dying Cockroaches, 150 Freddie Mercury’s and 200 LBCs. Well, the enhanced mumblechatter and general slack natured approach to so much ab work led YHC to cut out most of the Freddie Mercury’s and switch to 150 LBCs. Some of us did these…

Mosey past Pizza Man’s old homestead to the start. We had a few minutes left so we did some Step Ups IC, Dips IC, Plank IC and then more Dips. Time, thanks for the opportunity to lead men, it was my pleasure!

Prayer Requests – Sparky,  Turtleman, Mayors kids because his M is out of town, Broke’s broke leg, Our Country, The world

Announcements – Convergence next Saturday at The Yank, Community Foundation Run April 9, Adopt A Highway cleanup April 16, 2nd F lunch at Ray Nathans THURSDAY April 21, Honey Hunters game Sunday April 24

The strong showing of east side guys who make their way up to Old School today is a good reminder that we can meet new guys and learn a lot by getting out of our normal routine and going to other AOs around our region. Keep pushing the rock men and Always Be EHing!!!