F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Author: Oompa Loompa (page 1 of 2)

Running with scissors

Don’t try this at home. I’m a professional. I know, I know, mom said not to do this.

Anyway, 20 HIMS showed up at the Yank on Saturday morning. YHC observed that there was EC happening.

7 am time to start, circle up, Pizza Man said “Annihilation follow me, rest of you stay with Oompa.”
About then I think some senile homeless dude sleeping on the park bench mumbled something about a KJV workout starting as he wandered off, but, hey, old people aren’t known for their acuity.

No FNG. So no disclaimer. Mosey up to the hill to the track at the elementary school. That’s covers our warmup.

10 SSH (IC)
20 Abe Vigodas (IC)
30 Flutters (IC)
40 Moroccan Night Clubs (IC)
50 LBC (IC)

That was so much fun, so let’s back it down.

50 LBC
40 MNC
30 Flutters
20 Abe Vogoda
10 SSH

Time to make your momma proud. Run with scissors. Or don’t. It’s you vs you.
Run around the track and drop and add 5 scissor kicks every light pole. Go 5, 10, 15, 20 ,25, 30, 35, 40. Plank for the six. Right arm up/regular/Left arm up.

20 SSH
20 Abe Vigodas
20 Flutters
20 Low slow squats
20 MNC
20 LBC
20 Shoulder Taps
20 Calf Raises

Reverse direction around the track and drop and subtract 5 scissor kicks every light pole. Go 40, 35, 30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5. Plank for the six. Left arm up/regular/right arm up.

Halfway there! Ohhhh, ohhh, livin’ on a prayer….Admit it you were singing.

Mosey around to front of school.
10 Dips (IC)

Run from benches near road to fence and back in front of the school.

500 Squats
400 Shoulder Taps
300 Dying Cockroaches
200 Merkins
100 Freddie Mercurys

Fellowship mosey to Myrtle Street.
Since Sister Act always says it’s not an official F3 workout without burpees, burpees every light pole on each side of the street back to Main Street.

Zombie walk back to flag.

And we’re done!

Always an adventure to Q at an AO where I don’t usually post to see different faces. Thanks for offering it to me Pockets.

Pizza Man led pledge, prayer requests, announcements, and took us out.

Double Respect Birthday Beatdown

It’s a beautiful day at Midoriyama. The sun is shining. Nope, rapidly darkening skies with thunder on the horizon and moving swiftly our way. Birds are singing. Nope, oh well, at least it’s my birthday.

I see Gold Digger’s car in the parking lot, as he’s probably running a half marathon for EC.

It’s 1730. Time to rock.

No FNG, so no disclaimer. We have a shovel but no flag. Pledge to the imaginary flag.

Circle up.

Since I am now officially a forgetful old geezer, I graciously allowed the PAX count our exercises as we progress around the circle.

30 Side straddle hops (YHC)
30 Side straddle hops + 30 second plank (Broke)
30 Side straddle hops + 30 mountain climbers (Dr Seuss) + 30 second plank
30 Side straddle hops, 30 mountain climbers + 30 shoulder taps (Tyson) + 30 second plank
30 Side straddle hops, 30 mountain climbers, 30 shoulder taps + 30 little baby crunches (Love Boat) + 30 second plank
30 Side straddle hops, 30 mountain climbers, 30 shoulder taps, 30 little baby crunches + 30 squats (Def Leppard) + 30 second plank
30 Side straddle hops, 30 mountain climbers, 30 shoulder taps, 30 little baby crunches, 30 squats + 30 dips (Purple Haze) + 30 second plank
30 Side straddle hops, 30 mountain climbers, 30 shoulder taps, 30 little baby crunches, 30 squats, 30 dips + 30 calf raises (Gold Digger) + 30 second plank

We learned that our esteemed educator (Dr. Seuss) counts really slow in cadence and he can call 30 mountain climbers in 6 seconds when single counting.

About this time, Q called it quits 15 minutes early due to lightning in the area. I’m truly sorry that we missed getting to add 30 merkins (Wichita), 30 flutter kicks (Pockets) and 30 burpees (Blart).

I’m sure all are happy that I lied about my age.

Prayer Requests for Sister Act’s family, Purple Haze, Mayor’s mom, Clavin’s M, HIPAA, T-Square, Whoopie was doctoring someone’s dad and others I can’t recall.

YHC took us out.

Freight is responsible for refunding your prorated ticket costs.


YHC pulled into the parking lot at The PUB and according to that JOCKO dude we’re already over an hour late getting started.

Rumors indicate that a certain nefarious subversive group is running (running get it?) rampant on the dark lightly traveled roads in South and Southeastern Gaston County.

Who are those knuckleheads with that shovel flag? Who meets in front of a closed grocery store before sunrise? Why are they all dressed in yellow shirts? Are they Antifa? Probably not. Could it be the F.R.C., which happens to on the terrorist group watch list? Maybe. Report any suspicious activity.

This group exists. Really. They are secretive. Someone you know could be in it. Your friend. Your neighbor. Your doctor. A suspected member tossed a large rock at old Oompa this morning in the parking lot, but his wimpy soccer arms just didn’t have enough strength to hit YHC.

Okay, it’s 0530 let’s get after it. Pledge.

To avoid encounters with the FRC we ran towards our imaginary friends at Diablo Sammich. Well, those whom could run faster than the Q allegedly saw over a half dozen imaginary friends. Were mushrooms or LSD involved? Unfortunately, YHC needs more than 45 minutes to run 5 miles, so call it a Q fail.

We ran. Some ran fast. Some ran slower. Some ran shorter. All had fun, because nobody gets up to run at 0530 just for the heck of it.

No major announcements. Prayers for our country, the police, Whoopie’s & Sister Act’s girls.

YHC took us out.

Pole Dancin’ or The “D_O_L_P_H”

YHC got to Midoriyama in good time from Charlotte due to the lack of the usual hordes of non driving idiots on I-85 South. Something good did come from the COVID-19 virus. Hit the parking lot at Midoriyama to see a handful of PAX sitting on the sidewalk chatting as YHC walked to them.

A truck pulls up, a window rolls down, a 9 mil started busting caps, no wait, wrong story. We hear “Are you F3?”. We replied, “Yes.” The truck didn’t drive off. It parked and Whopper joined our group, who informed us that he had been to Painlab at the Schiele a time or two. He had picked the wrong day to come to Midoriyama for the first time. Not really, glad to meet you and see you come out to push the rock at the toughest afternoon workout in F3 nation. I have heard that it really gets easier. It also gets hotter.

More PAX show up. YHC shows the curious First F which of the two weinkes would he pick. Broke states neither as the one called “The D-O-L-P-H” starts with burpees and only gets worse. The second is called “Pole Dancin'” and all you do is run from light pole to light pole and like 500 exercises.

Site Q Wojo shows up with a shovel flag. Yay!

It’s 5:30. Time to get after it.


Warm up
10 SSH (IC)
20 Abe Vigoda
30 Flutters
40 Moroccan Night Clubs
50 LBC

YHC counts the PAX off as ones or twos. First F gets to pick one of the two weinkes sight unseen. Ones off with Broke. Twos off with YHC.

The Thangs

Pole Dancin’

Mosey to Light Poles on way to and around soccer fields. One set of exercises at each pole. Start at 10 toy soldiers, then 50 Mountain Climbers, etc.
10 Toy Soldiers 50 Mountain Climbers
20 HR Merkins 40 LBC
30 Squats 30 Shoulder Taps
40 Hammers 20 Box Cutters
50 Monkey Humpers 10 Makhtar N’diaye
10 Hip Slappers 50 Freddie Mercurys
20 Hillbillies 40 Mike Tysons
30 CDD 30 Imperial Walkers
40 Lunges 20 Cockroaches
50 Marge Homer 10 Flying Squirrels

The D-O-L-P-H

T Tony Hawk Burpees (Normal with 360 spin on jump) 10 OYO
H Hillbillies 20 IC
E Everest (Mosey to bottom of hill beside ball field – then Lunge RL, Squat, Lunge LL, Merkin up hill) as part of Triple Nickel
D Dirty Hookups (Mosey to turd shack) 30 IC
O Overhead claps 35 IC
P People’s air presses in people’s chair x 45 IC
H Hand release merkins x 50 OYO

After the twosies completed The Dolph we moseyed over to the swap places with Broke’s guys so they could enjoy The Dolph and we could do some Pole Dancin’. Luckily they were finishing the flying squirrels as we arrived.

Full Disclosure. YHC didn’t complete all 50 hand release merkins so finished them at home in the driveway for his punishment. YHC also didn’t instruct the other group that YHC eliminated his triple nickel portion, but, we actually lunged, squatted and merkined up that dang steep hill.

After each group finished, mosey back to flag. 6:15. Quitting time.

Announcements: Ville to Ville. Sign up, plenty of spots for more teams. Believe we have five full teams now.

Prayers: Montross’ M, families, Def Leppard’s foot, each other.

Thanks for letting me Q!

Smells Spring Fresh

It was a lovely Spring afternoon. It was beautiful. Why? There was no hide nor hair of Sister Act. Not that any Sister Act hair would be visible anyway. I think he has more caps than hair on his noggin. Embrace the baldness, bro.

Back to what is important. We ran 5 miles as EC or Crossroads Part Deux.
Out of Ingles and ran backroads to Willis Rd, down Ratchford past WC Friday and NGHS, back down Philadelphia Church Road to Main to Ingles. Most of us double dipped and ran 10 miles plus today. Mayor rode back and forth from the lead group to the six on his bike to offer encouraging words.

Sister Act will have to go home and cry just because he can’t stand the fact he might have been outworked today.

Just not the same atmosphere without your presence either Sister Act.

Pleasure to have been there.

Do you like pina coladas? Prison Break semi-secret

Two hims escaped from prison break before the rooster crowed to run over to Roadie’s place, and he was nowhere to be found. After several minutes of farting, belching, and scratching, Roadie received a wake up call stating “Get your fat lazy ass out of bed you sorry sack of chit.” Not hard to figure out who called is it?
Whereupon Roadie got his crap together and manned up.
Off we go to run the lovely greater metropolitan area of Ranlo and Auten Rd neighborhood.
It seemed we ran uphill the entire way.
Roadie knew every dog in every yard.
We hid from the po-po, a thousand bloodhounds, couple of questionable streetwalkers, bad drivers, trash cars, and eventually safely reached Bedpan’s humble abode.

At the end, up 4.7 miles was the total on Oompa’s Fitbit.

Bedpan took us out.

Baby, it’s cold outside

YHC pulled into the parking at the Schiele Museum about 15 minutes early. Only three vehicles counting mine. Strog up running EC and Big Pappy running the heater. Cars pulling in hot.

Get out of cars circle up. No FNG so no disclaimer. Let’s get it on. YHC hijacks Q at this time.


Warm up as group. 20 SSH IC. 20 Abe Vigoda in super slow motion. 30 flutters. 40 Moroccan Night Clubs. 50 LBC IC.

Bootcampers follow me, Painlab stay with Big Pappy.

Mosey to Garrison Boulevard. 10 Toy Soldiers IC. Mosey a bit. 20 Hand Release Merkins facing downhill. Mosey a bit. 30 squats. Mosey. 40 Hammers. Mosey. 50 Monkey Humpers facing Garrison. Mosey.
10 Hip Slappers. Mosey. 20 Hillbillies.
Mosey. 30 CDDs. 40 Lunges to next telephone pole. 50 Marge & Homers. Hang a right on Chestnut. Mosey to intersection.
50 Mountain Climbers. Mosey. 40 LBCs. Mosey. Right on Maple. 30 Shoulder Taps. Mosey. 20 Box Cutters. Mosey. Right on Fairfield. 10 Makhtar N’diayes. Mosey. 50 Freddie Mercurys. Right on Carlton. 40 Mike Tysons. Q power runs out. Mosey. 30 Imperial Walkers. Left on Garrison. 20 Dying Cockroaches. Mosey. 10 Flying Squirrels. Mosey to wall on Schiele. Wall sits. Clavin is leaving. Monkey Humpers towards him as he drives out. 10 Dirty Hookups. Mosey to Amphitheater. Bearcrawl up bleachers. Across top row. Joe Hendrix down. Or not. Lunges. 20 Dips. 20 Inclines. 20 Inclined crunches. Burpees to finish. Mosey to join painlab folks.
Little Mary. 10 Burpees. 10 ,Imperial Walkers.
Saved by the bells.

First time Qing the Original Gashouse.
We 2 miles got ran.

Circle up for COT, announcements and namorama.
Pappys phone died so no video. Pappy told us out.

Thanks for letting me lead.

2+2+3+2=Frostbite 10K

Two grandparents, two M’s, three 2.0’s and two PAX headed off to the beautiful Fletcher, NC to run the Frostbite 10K.

Two PAX ran the 1 mile fun run as warm up with the two older 2.0’s as both M’s and grandma chickened out to stay inside the fitness center and watch the baby since it was overcast, 42 degrees and kind of windy outside. Both 2.0’s were safely delivered back inside to one M and both grandparents after fun run for pizza, cupcakes, games and the bouncy house.

Time for potty break, hydration and stretching.

One PAX finished second in his age group and seventh overall for the 10K.

One PAX finished last in his age group for the 10K and really wished he hadn’t ran the fun run while running uphill after the fifth mile. Pretty sure ya’ll can figure out who was who.

The course was challenging with way more uphill legs than downhill.
One M paced the Q, we had multiple kills and didn’t wind up even close to last place.

Fun was had by all!

Dora’s Dirty Dozen

YHC arrived early, no traffic issues coming down I-85 South. My main man Pizza Man is doing a Murph when I parked the land yacht. Being a non hacker, decided to run a leisurely mile and a half for EC.
Cars started hitting the parking lot, in comes Rockabilly. In comes Blart. In comes Big Pappy with his youngins. In comes Tater Hole. Away goes Pizza Man.

On to the tennis courts. Time to get after it.
No FNG. No disclaimer. Start with stretching. No joke. Stretching. Back, legs, shoulders, neck. Warm up with
25 SSH. 25 Toy Soldiers. 25 Moroccan Night Clubs. 25 Squats. 25 Don Quixote.
Two other exercises I can’t remember, but, all in cadence.
Senior moment. Q fail.


On to the thing. All in cadence too.
25 Flutters. Lunge across court.
25 Peter Parkers. Bear crawl back.
25 hip slappers. Lunge.
25 lbc. Bear crawl back.
25 squats. Lunge.
25 shoulder taps. Bear crawl back.
25 mountain climbers. Lunge.
25 scissors. Flutters. Whatever. Bear crawl.
25 monkey humpers. Lunge.
25 merkins. Bear crawl.
25 hammers. Nur.
10 burpees. Mosey to far end of court.

Dora, 100 merkins, 200 squats, 300 lbc.

Mosey to far end.

Few minutes of Mary. French fries. Nolan Ryans. Lbcs. Flutters. Freddy macs.

Mosey back to start. Time.

Announcements and prayers.

Thanks for letting an old man lead!

Haterade was served

It was dark. Misting rain. It was daggone wet. Extremely wet. But, unlike Shelby it wasn’t freezing arse cold.

Time to start. Sometime today Sister Act.

We pledged. We did side straddle hops in cadence with full claps on top and hips.

Mosey to tennis court to play in the puddles. On your six 50 LBC in cadence.  Since your bottom is soaked flip flop for hand release merkins. Who hates Tom Brady? 12 something’s were called. Who hates the Buckeyes? Something else was called. 50 Moroccan Nightclubs in cadence. Who hates the tarheels? 23 burpees for MJ. Who hates the Yankees? 28 SSH. Bear crawl and crab walk. Dang Q is pitifully slow and really bad form at crabwalk. Mosey back to line. Plank for Q to finish thanks Sparky. 50 Flutters in cadence. Squats. Hand release burpees. Zombie walk halfway across courts. Mosey to far end.

Somewhere around this time daybreak came and the drizzle began. Gomer appeared.

Every pax took 2 turns at calling out exercises in cadence.  Or not. MNC, suicides, Hillbilly squats, Imperial walker squats, 8 count body builders, merkins, LBC, SSH, karaoke, laps, burpees, stupid crap from Broke, calf raises, shoulder taps, BTTW, hipslappers, stupid crap from HIPAA, crab walk, and I have forgotten the others. Q fail.

Mosey back to flag, finish with monkey humpers and mercifully time expires. No that is not my prescription list Sister Act.

Prayers for Sparky family members, HIPAA mom, each other,  surely there were other requests spoken or unspoken.

Announcements SFN Christmastown 5k, Operation Sweet Tooth,  Santa Hustle,  and Christmas party.

YHC took us out in prayer. Thanks for the opportunity to Q.

No velcro shoes were harmed while performing these activities.

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