What do you think you’re a gD General? F3 Defcor D2D

YHC has run the D2D twice before and knows it sells out in an hour or two, so it was time to HC and get that registration.  With no team in mind, I decided to volunteer my shieldlock to run it with me as a four-man team.  Being that the Mortimer is early this year, a good relay three weeks before will help us BTF (Big tough frogman) up to get after it.

Going on one and half hours of broken sleep, YHC arrived at Boudin’s at 0245, ready to take the “elite” race vehicle to the start line in Lexington. SC.  Whoopee had texted me that there were no lights on in Stroganoff’s house but not for long as they got to Boudin’s right on time as well.  We drove down to Lexington with lots of great shieldlock type talk about the Prodigal Son and other lessons to learn along with many jokes per usual.  We arrived at the start line FORTY-FIVE MINUTES early!  GOOD…more time for Stroganoff to pee multiple times.  Boudin got coffee.

It was cold and windy at the starting line, and we lollygagged around waiting for the start of the race.  YHC had the first leg and we were off.  The D2D is a pretty straightforward race.  100k from one dam to another, while running through mainly rural farmland and some sketchy areas, while stopping at small churches along the way for EZ’s and usually barely adequate bathrooms.  This year the race raised over $45000 for the churches and various charities in the region.  It is probably the best relay race around and it well worth the price of admission, especially if you do it with people you have a good time with.  We certainly enjoyed it.

Started off at 0515. Four kills on leg one. Whoopee got a few more on Leg two. Got to see F3 Team F & B from Belmont made up of Tiger, Tesla, Orangeman, Breaker Breaker, a kid, and a couple ladies. Come on guys, you can’t put F3 in your team name if you are rolling with the ladies!  There was some concern about Tesla not having lights, and his bib was upside down, (but not when he looked down at it.)  They lost precious time at the EZ’s trying to sort it all out.  There may have been some candor being thrown around, especially by Tiger or so I have been told.

Stroganoff had peed three times before his first run.

Along the way, we made jokes, laughed a lot, and gave Breaker Breaker lots of grief for drinking sub-par protein drinks.  His weak stuff wasn’t even grass fed!  Breaker is part of Team HRB and is used to this kind of candor.  We discussed which Mortimer legs he wants to run this year and it seemed to me like he wants some more challenging legs this year!

After Stroganoff’s second run, his calves were twitching like a meth head going through WD’s.  We looked down and said, “Good, you will be able to stretch them out on your next seven-mile leg”.

On our last runs, we all kept going strong.  There was some worry that as we were waiting for Whoopee to come to his last EZ, we saw Breaker Breaker on his six catching up.  Tiger mentioned that if Whoopee gets passed by Breaker, he will never live it down!  That didn’t happen as Whoopee handed off to Stroganoff and went off to recover and change clothes.

We headed out to go to the last EZ and drove up on Stroganoff clicking off the miles.  We offered him a can of Jocko GO but he waived us off, looking comfortable and running strong.  When we got to the EZ and were waiting for him, we received a four-letter text message that starts with F.  A picture of Midol was immediately texted back to him so he would have some encouragement.  A conversation occurred regarding how Stroganoff was likely walking and costing us precious minutes instead of running…i.e., running for himself and not the team.  Some talk occurred about how the perfect number for a shieldlock is three and not four, etc.  Stroganoff “Beat the French” and ran into the finish with rather straight knees and cramping toes and Boudin left the EZ to run the Glory Leg and finish at the Dam at Lake Greenwood.

Stroganoff went off to change clothes in the car.  When he emerged from the car his seat cover got stuck in his underwear and was hanging out the back of his shorts like Buford T Justice walking out of the diner with toilet paper stuck to his glasses.  Without hesitation, Whoopee and YHC both said “Nice Ass” in unison.  You had to be there but that was good stuff.

At the finish line, Breaker Breaker came to our car, and we pulled out some fine IPA’s and toasted to another great D2D race.  We watched Boudin come in hot and we celebrated with cold fries, a burger, and a picture at the finish line.  A quick pit stop at the porta jon’s and we were on our way home, arriving safely back to Boudin’s by about 5:15.

Along the way we ran or conversed with guys from F3 Lake Wylie, F3 Shelby, and F3 the Fort.  I encourage you to get a team next year and make it happen.  You can’t beat one day relay races and it makes me want to spearhead another 50-mile F3 Gastonia relay.  Do you hear me Defib?!!!

The mumblechatter and laughs were outstanding and there was no slack given, and none expected.  All of that carries over into life when you are having a tough day, you need someone to tell you to get over yourself.  Check your Ego folks.  Do hard things.  We finished 13^th in the Men’s Open category and 60^th out of 110 teams.  We didn’t win any pint glasses like 2020 but who cares.