Sorry Oompa Loompa,,, those were not my words but Dirts as he affirmed much of what Folgers began the disclaimer with as he extolled the virtues of the Joe .
We were all told to follow proper form and many of the days exercises would be referred to as jumping jacks instead of SSH …. do as I say …. follow the leader ,,,, etc etc….oh …. and we were also given a preview of our route and exercises but also advised that should any one be foolish to pass the Q, you must be penitent or face the WRATH!!
And away we go with …. the Squat 25 oyo
Then what was supposed to be 25 IC Imperial Walkers but rapidly fell apart as Heckle And Jeckle made a sudden appearance adding and subtracting numbers creating so much havoc that when Folgers suddenly stopped us …. all were quiet as the flames sprouting from his amazing mustache froze us all in place …. Medusa has nothing on this boys!! We were transfixed as Folgers asserted his authority bellowing that we will now perform 15 merkins as a fair and just punishment while he glared at all !!! We remained quiet ( as if).
Now off to the concession area in the park for some nourishment ….
there was ( softly playing ) music … too bad no Whoopee …. as Rush played and at some point I thought I heard Magnum PI ( probably still on the mustache kick) maybe it was Hill Street …. either way it was an 80s anthem of some type …. could not hear anything else as the crickets were louder than the accompana accompana accompana …… the music …
15 shoulder taps while BTTW ( too bad again … no Whoopsie )
20 IC Flutters ( strong showing from Watts Up as he redeems us and earns much accolades and laurels from our esteemed leader.
10 shoulder taps and more flutters I think
now to the parking lot …. confusion sets in as there are several paths … several lots …. and the crowd spirals back down
we assemble at the last light pole and are informed that we are doing 11s and the destination for the other end is the Last ( yes …. we would be informed multiple times as the pax grumble and grouse ) light pole and that we would be doing American Hammers . At this point several confused ( and hearing impaired individuals ask to the continued chagrin of today’s Q that the EXERCISE AT EACH END …. “ LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU …. A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N H-A-M-M-E-R-S!!!!”
the only better moment came when all thoroughly confused individuals again earn the Qs wrath by failing to stop at the last light that was “on” …. the last l one was dark and was NOT to be our destination!
with about 5 minutes to spare we wrap it up and head home during which Stinky Bird learns that there was to be an additional exercise if only time would have allowed ( or some would have played nice) and Stinky Bird tells Folgers to use it as a suppository ( I think he meant repository …. but Folgers was mercilous as he beat Stinky Bird repeatedly with a blade of grass.
channeling Indiana Jones. Captain Stubing was the only other wise pax to receive praise as he arrived back at start first and was in proper plank form having understood the penitent remark from earlier
with a minute to spare. Asstone was given as punishment for his earlier transgressions the penalty of flutters IC x25 with arms held high …… and to hopefully earn back some praise we all joined him in this punishment as many felt complicit in today’s shenanigans
announcements for Strides of March
prayers for Dirt job search, Big Pappys son and father, Stogies dad, Sister Acts daughter
now, you may wonder why Clavin is writing this? Well, it would appear that I am easily manipulated by the Jedi …..
some, all, most or none of this may or may not be true …. all I know is that Folgers last words this morning were that he would make ALL who were not present pay dearly
lastly it should be noted that that this was a Most Excellent Q!