• Post Type: Backblast
  • When: 04/17/2021
  • QIC: Rudolph, HIPAA, VooDoo
  • FNG's: Big Lizard
  • PAX: Defib, Slaw, Slim Shady, Hushpuppy, CPAP, Roscoe, Sarlaac, Whoopee, Brutus, Balljoint, Taterhole, Freon, Termite, Dirt, Purple Haze, BOS, Palmer, Tricycle, Sweetheart, Wide Right, Les Nessman, Bedpan, Montross, Lazybones, Bandit, Volt, Oompa Loompa, Pedal, Stogie, Westside, Clampet, Def Leppard, Sister Act, Wirenut, Linus, Watts Up, Tiger, Nutria, Bubba Sparxx, Breaker Breaker, T-Square, Wet Nutz, Cardi B, Fresh, Pilgrim's Progress, Huckleberry, Doodles, Boudin,

Shortsale had solicited HIPAA, & VooDoo about hosting a gear/Painlab/Bulldog/low-impact Convergence sometime early in 2021.  When asked to participate, I was all about it, but also not surprised.  Shortsale is kind of our renaissance guy in F3 Gashouse, as he has tackled all manner of workout, AO’s, and has the ability to incorporate all of parts very well.  Here, we have an opportunity to shake it up a bit with all Pax, and again share how we we can accomplish the 1st F via this style of workout.  Several weeks of planning, and we each agreed we’d lead a segment.  Looking back, this Convergence workout came to resemble how these low-impact AO’s typically work = Muscle specific, cardio, end with an amalgamation of the two.  Then, some pelvic thrusts via Kenny G…..but I digress.

Big ups to Les Nessman for tagging his cinderblock collection for general use.  I was impressed how many men showed with either a block, their rucksack (awesome!), a bell, or in other words, they were PREPARED.  Even Slim Shady hollered the night before, saying he was living up to his name and needed a loaner.  A group of 5 were getting in EC ruck training, and the crowd made their way to the field.

Preamble – welcome to Convergence, we have been 6 years strong at Gashouse.  I describe what low-impact work is, and that given we have Bulldog, Diablo Sammich and Painlab as 3 site specific AO’s that focus on low-impact/modification/injury/introduction/muscle work, there is ZERO reason that every man in Gaston County cannot be EH’d.  These workouts are 48 hours apart, 3 workouts a week.  That is not a coincidence.  HEADLOCK!  Big ups to Brutus for brining in an FNG, aka Big Lizard today.  Reminder that for $1.50 you can have 30lb. weight (cinderblock) that will get your muscle needs done.  And men, you need muscle work because you will lose it faster than your cardio/lungs.  We also reviewed the 5 core tenets of F3.

Warm-up:  so of course after I say we are doing low-impact, HIPAA has a high impact warmup for us (facepalm).  But it’s fun, so no worries – he plays the song Danger Zone and you have to do SSH’s until you hear the song name, do a squat when you hear it, then resume.  Good warm-up.  I hate to say it, but VooDoo whispered “is this from Iron Eagle?”.  Facepalm.  He’s smarter than me, but good gracious a’mighty….

Phase I – Muscle Specific Work – pretty simple, do as I do…if you can’t hit the reps called, just gimme what you got.  Goal was to torque muscles that are not normally torqued at Bootcamps:

  • Half Moons x 20
  • Goblet Squat x 15
  • Chest Pullovers x 15
  • Curls x 20
  • Thrusters x 12
  • Reverse Lunges x 10
  • Bent over rows x 10
  • Tricep Extensions x 15
  • Single Arm Deadlifts x 10
  • Shoulder Press x 20
  • Side Lunge x 10
  • Upright Rows x 15
  • Halos x 10
  • People’s Chair x however damn long I felt like 🙂

Phase II – Cardio:  okay, I will have trouble remembering this, but from the time I saw it, I knew it was trouble.  We made our way over to the hill (Bulldog has a great area for workout), and VooDoo threw this at everyone:

Murder-Bunny up the hill; at the top you owe 25 alternating block merkins, 25 chest pullovers, 25 squat curls….go down the hill and 15 Blockees.  Back up the hill via Murder-Bunny, 25 upright rows, 25 presses, 25 flutters, back down the hill.

I’ll end this by saying it sucked.  I did take a video of everyone during this, it’s on the mumble-chatter.  Some provocative poses.  They would make Kenny G proud….but I digress.  We got 2 rounds in, time for HIPAA to put it all together.

*big ups to Hushpuppy for forcing me into a race the second time up the hill.  Vomit fuel.

Phase III:  The Nickel Bag – HIPAA omaha’d from his original thought at the request of VooDoo and I.  You all wanted no part of that before he took mercy.  The Thang:

Bottom of hill – 5 American Hammers; Bear crawl with weight to first cone.

First cone – 5 diamond decline merkins; crawl

Second cone – 5 decline Big Boy Sit Ups; crawl

Third cone – 5 decline pseudo-planche merkins; crawl

Top of Hill – 5 Power to the People each side

I don’t know how many rounds there were, but after I almost merlot’d I looked at my phone, and it was 7:53.  Round it up back to the field.

*earlier this week HIPAA and I traded barbs in preparation, regarding music, and it came down to something like “you’ll get Kenny G and you’ll like it!”.  It did take me by surprise that Kenny G started playing when I started us on Mary.  In celebration of this, we went to plank and pickle pounded every time I shouted “KENNY G!”.  Then Whoopee, after some incredible moaning (show to know) tried to either molest me or whip my ass.  I’m still unsure, but it left me confused and curious, just like I do my wife.  Show to know.


Pledge of Allegiance.


  • Fitness Test next week at GasHouse
  • Freed to Lead in July (Park Street Methodist) – please chime in on mumblechatter regarding this!  Poor notes!
  • May 22 – an amoeba ruck scheduled by Bos, beer is involved.  He will update us.  Good on Bos.

Prayer Requests:

  • GSM/Stroganoff, all people that need uplifting during this time
  • Turtle Man
  • Wirenut made mention of how each of us can leave for the day, and not come home.  LEAVE RIGHT, be rock solid each day.  Keep your eyes open and appreciate life.  Good word.
  • Ville to Ville crew (did  you all see their time??  Son of ##### they were cooking.  Now come get some muscle 🙂 )
  • Mental health and addiction
  • COVID affected
  • Sister Act’s knee….not the rest of him, just his knee.

Breaker Breaker then lead us on scripture lesson on Servant Leadership.  I cannot do it justice here, but on the mumblechatter I’ve got  really nice picture.  Great words, and I appreciate his being compelled to speak.   I will say that I made a joke, that he’s my Stone, and no one else can have him….but given the past year, I’ll tell you all I entered into both a Shieldlock, and the Whetstone program, and both have been of great help to me.  Create these for yourselves men (Big ups to Huckleberry, Roscoe, Gastone and others instrumental in those; and to my Shieldlock, which includes HIPAA, VooDoo, Pedal, T-square, El Toro, Tube, and Double-Stuff.  It’s a big SL, just like us).

MOLESKIN – what can you say?  I had each guy give their name at name-o-rama, and how many years they had been here (video on mumblechatter)  We had a few visitors from Metro (thanks!), and one had 9 years, and our FNG had 1 day.  Whether it’s the start of the journey, or you have many miles in between, we’re a special group that has an obligation to make the lives of those around us better.  Better through Fitness of body in mind, better through Fellowship with care and concern, and better through Faith that we will see a better day, every day.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab some Advil….KENNY G!

Rudolph, HIPAA, VooDoo