Douchey Q

I helped the new Site Q out at Midoriyama, signing up for the first Thursday of June. It kind of snuck up on me as normally I have a good idea of what I want to do. In my perpetual work from home environment, I had the luxury to look at YouTube for some inspiration. It wasn’t the kind of inspiration Freight got from staring at “House Porn” but it I did find some good stuff from Iron Wolf. Many of you have heard of Iron Wolf and for those that haven’t, just know he’s a beast. He’s workouts are simple, direct, effective, and most of all challenging (just ask Rudolph). Once the Weinke was set, I ate lunch – had a hankering for some pasta. I cooked more noodles than I needed and determined all needed to be ingested – bad idea. As I “took care of business” and then doubled over in the fetal position for a good portion of my afternoon I was reminded of The Office episode (Season 4, episode 2) where Meredith is in the hospital because of rabies so Michael Scott wants create awareness with the “Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure.” Prior to the event, Michael decides to carb load by eating as much fettuccini alfredo as he possibly can, declining water. Sorry to take you down that road, but there was a brief period I wondered if I’d be the first Q to merlot their own workout – shout out to Tums and their miracle tablets.

On my way to the site, I pick up some nail clippers and chapstick for Freight’s service project, arriving w/ about 5 minutes to spare. On a steamy afternoon, a few more guys than I anticipated, including Trojan who initially posted Monday at the Murph. A couple others on their second post of the day and a few bat flippers. I mentally scanned my Weinke and knew one part was not going to work, so as we’re trained to do, modify the plan. SA interrupted my internal strategy session to say his watch had 5:30…maybe we should all get together and synchronize our watches to avoid this in the future or maybe I’ll just set my watch a minute ahead of the knuckleheads to avoid the $hit talk. Without further delay –

Warm-up:

• Seal Jacks IC x 11
• Imperial Walkers IC x 10
• Toy Soldiers IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge IC x 10
• Don Q IC x 10
• MNC IC x 10
• 5 Burpees OYO

Pledge – I wanted to ensure we got some Mary in and plus it’s good to make the PAX think this could be the workout. “On your six!” I announced.

• LBC’s IC x 20 (because Freight likes to hear me count)
• Flutter Kicks IC x 20
• Dollies IC x 20
• Freddie Mercury IC x 20
• American Hammer IC x 20 (Asshhh Pond’s favorite)

Recover, let’s mosey to the small soccer field on the right. I toy with the idea to do burpees or other idea along the way but decide against. Probably the only time I could keep up with Round Up as he strides alongside. Nice of him to join us this afternoon. I notice he’s wearing boots as in military issue/work boots. He says he wants to test them out (#beastmode). We arrive and spread out along the sideline in front of the bleachers. I mention the source of the workout is from Iron Wolf and get groans and mumble chatter. Here is the order:

• Burpees x 10
• Mtn Climbers x 10 (each leg or 20 total)
• Lt. Dans x 10 (count the squat)
• Merkins x 10
• SSH x 10
• Run the width of the field and return

I suggested we’d do 10 rounds but that was only to create a goal for the bat flippers to push toward. Happy to share it worked! Round Up, Sister Act, Dr. Seuss, and Slaw completed or in the process of completing their 8th round when time was called.  We spent about 20 minutes on this effort which based on the lack of chatter and humidity, took the attention off the Q and for each PAX to push themselves. I could have stuck with this as Oompa’s Q did on Tuesday but decided to mix it up with some partner work and a DORA:

• 100 Merkins
• 200 Flutter Kicks (count both legs)
• 300 LBCs
• P2 runs width of the field and up the small hill and return

This is where the title originated. I pass Sister Act on the running up the hill to which he growls: “this is a douchey Q.” Which coming from one of the douche canoes is the ultimate sign of respect. We gather and return to base and despite a few minutes remaining, I called time because I planned to get to DQ and see Turtleman.

Announcements: Open SLT meeting Sunday, June 13th at 4 pm at Lineberger Park; Blood Drive 6/16 – sign up; Freight’s Service Project (nail clippers/chapstick); Prayer requests: Turtleman, Big Pappy, Sister Act & 2.0, and Uranus. Ball of Man and I took us out.

Moleskin: I cut the COT short or at least made it quick. Whoopee organized an outing for Turtleman at the Dairy Queen. A few PAX followed across town and joined a handful of HIMs gathered around the guest of honor, though he probably dislikes that term. I’ve known Chad since the 8th grade. His brother and I have been best friends, college roommates, golf partners, and the like. Chad is a few years younger but joined us on our tennis team for our senior season and the beginning of his career. Unlike my good friend whom Roscoe and I suckered into an F3 workout while at the beach, Chad, aka Turtleman joined our brotherhood several years ago, even held the honor of Site Q for Monday’s at Martha Rivers under the name Neverland (now The Sandlot). Turtleman also trained and competed in some Spartan events with his M and played tennis too. He’s got a sneaky competitive side. And he’d love nothing more than to be in the gloom. He said he would be one day, after he kicks this lymphoma’s ass, but he’s still got a few rounds to go in that fight. Hearing Turtleman talk about his situation and asking about the various guys that visited, he’s got a tremendously positive attitude. That can’t hurt. It was actually a bit inspiring to hear how positive he was. Knowing him, it was genuine to his personality. Turtleman didn’t ask for this situation, no one ever does. It’s the plan we don’t understand, but reading Matthew 6:10, “thy will be done” reminds us God is in control. Turtleman has a handle on this too, which is amazing. Anyone of us could be in his shoes, fighting this fight. On the outside of the ring, all we can do is cheer, encourage and most of all pray. One of my church pastor’s benedictions was the Irish Blessing. I don’t have Dr. Frye’s soft and warm voice to speak it as reverently as he did each Sunday but it goes:

May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand. 

Turtleman – you’ve got this and your F3 brother have got you. Keep pushing the rock brother.

Short Sale