“I’d be honored to carry your balls Q”

Damn, now that’s a headline! It’s an actual quote from one of the PAX at my Thursday Q at the nation’s preeminent afternoon workout. During the festivities, the mumble chatter had my mind buzzing with other working titles such as Buckeye’s Hysterectomy or Sargento Playlist. Typical of Midoriyama and their cast of characters, the mumble chatter did not disappoint. I filled the Q slot more so as a goal. My knee isn’t feeling great but then I see a guy like Sister Act who posts relentlessly and he currently has a torn meniscus – mine is repaired and I’m only dealing with some swelling. So I took the advice of my good friend Roscoe and his hashtag of #HTFU – I need to get better. The forecast for last Thursday afternoon was ominous so my Weinke had a good portion for covered shelter with picnic table work. But then the Lord looked out for me and cleared a window for good weather and the opportunity for full use of Poston. Here is how it went.

A veteran group so only a limited disclaimer of being an idiot and following any suggestion I was about to make. Per tradition we started with Moroccan Night Clubs, but only 5 in cadence. I quickly moved through my standard routine of Toy Soldiers and Side to Side lunges – quiet ole Blart started giving me some of the business for this. I thought about jumping to a Slaughter Starter but my repertoire is a bit circumcised by the aforementioned knee issue, so I move to SSH for a 10 count. We say good bye to Freight for his commitment in support of the G2G challenge #HIM.

The remaining knuckleheads follow me to the picnic shelter in the lower parking lot for a tabata mixing in all the key areas of lower and upper body with some core. We worked through four exercises at 30 seconds each with a 30 second rest between circuits – two times each set. Plenty of mumble chatter as the PAX didn’t have to count. This is where Buckeye sounded like his intestines were being pulled through his anus like rosary beads. Sargento did his normal amount of complaining and wasting valuable time/opportunity of upper body development. Blart offered his displeasure to most everything called while Pockets and Lil’ Sweet paired off in the corner in their own world.

#1

• Step-up Right
• Derkin
• Step-up Left
• Decline Peter Parker

#2

• Bulgarian Split Squats Right
• Dips
• Bulgarian Split Squats Left
• Turtle Crunch

#3

• American Hammer
• Full Leg Lifts (use the picnic table or bench)
• Flutter Kick (these two paired together created a lot of whining – consider this in your next Q)
• Makhtar Ndiaye – plank on the ground then on the picnic bench

Next up was a lengthy mosey from the picnic shelter to the lower soccer field for a new routine. I didn’t have a name for it but for now let’s call it Balls in the Bucket. I had fifteen golf balls (Blart was partial to the blue one for some reason. Numerous references to Slaw’s condition were made. Instructions and Midoriyama go together like Pelosi and Trump in a cross country car ride. So I did my best and they caught on eventually. The balls were scattered among the field in a 20’x20′ or so area. I nominated Buckeye to start us off as the “picker-upper.” The time it took Buckeye to pick up all 15 balls, one at a time (that is correct, I said one at a time Buckeye), the PAX would perform the called exercise. So the timer gets in a little (or a lot) of cardio, depending on their effort. And the PAX get some or a lot of strength or core work, depending on the picker-upper’s effort. Each PAX took a turn to pick up the balls. If that makes sense to you, you’re better off than those that attended. Called exercises were:

• Merkins
• LBC’s
• Mtn Climbers
• Corkscrew L + Hand Release Merkins + Corkscrew R
• CDD
• Crunch Frog
• Single Arm Tricep Merkin R
• Single Arm Tricep Merkin L (these are new – do not ask Dr. Seuss how to perform)

With 5 minutes left, we moseyed back to home base and after a few jokes, finished with a minute or so of dying cockroaches so the PAX got their money’s worth.

COT – Announcements for Christmas Party on 12/12; Prayer requests: Stephanie McMahan, Tiger’s friend w/ new born needing surgery, Slaw’s daughter’s band teacher passing unexpectedly, Catamount, and Belmont family whose daughter committed suicide; YHC took us out.

Moleskin – Upon completion of the game, I picked up the small bucket with the golf balls to carry with us to the base. Slaw jokingly says he’d be honored if he could carry my balls and that phrase was too good not to be shared. Like a lot of men among us, there is toughness about them that you can admire. Getting to know Slaw a bit and how much it means for him to be pushing the rock has been one of the many benefits the unique combination of first and second F’s have brought to me. Sharing the fact we both have been on the sidelines and IR more than we’d like is another thing we unfortunately have in common. So I was happy upon arrival to see Slaw among the many friends at the fabled Midoriyama playground. Until the next time, it was a pleasure to lead.