Convergence: Who Wants The Belt?

F3 Gastonia announced the fourth quarter Convergence at The Fighting Yank with Roscoe and Short Sale tabbed to lead the PAX. As it would be a tag team affair, the theme would follow suit as the pair transformed into former Tag Team Champions “The Rockers” Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. Great effort was made to look the part as well as design a Weinke to execute a beat-down that would challenge the All-Star Battle Royale in downtown Belmont.

A chilly morning began with a number of PAX getting some extra credit while kit for the Pain Lab and the stage were formed. Linus kicked off the event a few minutes early–reading the Proclamation ahead of Veterans Day – more to come on that. With the circle formed and document read, John Williams orchestra masterpiece from 2001 A Space Odyssey began to thump over the speaker. The Nature Boy made this famous and as the self proclaimed World Universal Intercontinental Heavyweight Tag Team Champions of F3, your heroes crested the hill and ran into the squared circle to rousing applause and enthusiasm. Once in the ring and with all the excitement, Short Sale made a not so informative disclaimer. Seeing his partner in major trouble, Roscoe was frantically in their corner calling for a tag.  At the last possible moment before the match was called, Short Sale struggled to the corner and made a legal tag.  Roscoe came in with new energy and immediately initiated the warm up but would soon lose steam. Another exchange was made as would occur frequently during the workout. There were 45 men that experienced this live but you can read about it here:

Warm-up:

• Roscoe: SSH – IC x 20 (tag)
• Short Sale: 5 Burpees OYO (Tag)
• Roscoe: LBC’s IC x 15 (Tag)
• Short Sale: 5 Burpees OYO, Squats: IC x 10 (Tag)
• Roscoe: Merkins 15 IC

During the warm-up, we reviewed a few of the F3 principals (peer led, held outdoors – rain/shine, free of charge, open to all men, ends with a Circle of Trust). As HIPAA and Madoff were the first to answer, they received “flair” which were bright colored strips tied around their bicep. As any wrestling fan knows, “flair” is as important to the look as the hair, ripped physique, and a signature move. Your Tag Team Champions had plenty of flair – and shared often during the workout to reward great effort or in Sargento’s case as a consolation prize (in this era of everyone getting a participation trophy). If Sargento had gotten flair earlier it would have been removed for his odd mumble chatter today.

Thang:

Mosey to the Glenway Pub parking lot:

Short Sale instructed: Divide into teams of 5 for Four Corners, tag team version.

• Corner 1: Flying Squirrels
• Corner 2:Squats
• Corner 3: LBCs
• Corner 4: 4x4x4(4 reps of SSH, Merkins, Mtn Climbers)

Partners 1-4 begin at corner performing AMRAP of exercise. The timer is Partner 5, carrying a sandbag. Upon arrival, the partners tag in to carry the sandbag to the next corner. It was a little chaotic but there was no rest so the heart rate got going as did the mumble chatter. Plenty of flair was awarded for men pushing the rock.

Roscoe: Once sufficient effort and flair was handed out, Roscoe called for Omaha and the PAX followed back through the park to Belmont Middle School track.

THE HUMAN TORTURE RACK:

Partner up. P1 places P2 in the torture rack (Fireman’s Carry) and performs 10 squats, one spin, moseys to the other side of the track, 10 more squats.  Both partners then mosey to the next corner where P2 carries P1.  There was supposed to be a mandatory “WhoooooOO!” while doing this exercise but too much mumble chatter at the explanation caused this part to fail.  One lap of that and Roscoe was spent.  Somehow he struggled to jump from his knees to tag in Short Sale before collapsing in a pool of mud and sweat.

SHORT SALE then called for the ugly wench Dora.

Dora 1-2-3

Remain on the middle school field for yet another partner exercise. P1 performs the exercise; P2 runs the length of the field and returns to tag in. The first set was a challenge on the legs, the next for the arms and the last for the gut.

• 100 Jump lunges (50 each leg)
• 200 Merkins
• 300 Flutter Kicks

A train raced through on a nearby track. Dolph called the 5 burpee penalty – some followed suit, others ignored the challenge. This was a tough set at this point. We’d been pushed pretty hard with a lengthy mosey from the first thang to the second thang. There was a look of exasperation on many faces – but think of all the dramatic wrestling matches you’ve seen in your lifetime, when the good guy begins to re-gain his strength, pulling from deep within for the final push before making the pin. This was no different as the PAX pushed through toward the finish. Roscoe’s blond hair and sunglasses apparently reminded Def Leppard of his high school girlfriend.  Roscoe objected because he is no doubt better looking than Def Leppards high school girlfriend and even though he wrestles in the superheavyweight class no doubt weighed less than Leppard’s High School girlfriend.

Roscoe/Mary: At this point the PAX were called to plank up for the six and Roscoe asked for things we are grateful for.  Cornerstone’s daughter as a cancer survivor, All the PAX and F3 Nation, there were others….then Mosey to the fountain for Mary.  The Pain Lab moseyed over and joined in for the last bit of Mary which included Burpees, Dying Cockroaches, Squats,  and LBC’s before the tag team was counted out of the ring and Linus took back over for the closing ceremonies and Decision.

Linus called for all the veterans to come to the center of the ring. We had the Navy (Slaw), Marine Corps (Oompa Loompa), and the Air Force (Somebody) represented.  Each PAX was asked for who served in their family.  There were many fathers, uncles, grandfathers, and some grandmothers that served.  Thank you all!  Then Linus played the service Anthems for Army (merkins), Marines, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard. Our Veterans were granted immunity of the called exercise to observe the PAX doing merkins, burpees, jump squats, lbc’s, and Michael Phelps. During the merkins, Sister Act and Def Leppard had a posterior view of Short Sale, commenting how firm his glutes appeared in the tights, possibly accented by the jock strap. As a reward, someone may or may not have been tea-bagged during an impromptu monkey humper. The sights that eyes can never remove live forever.

At the end the moment everyone was waiting for. The Ring Announcer declared “The Rockers” the winners of the match and still Tag Team Champions of the World!

COT: Prayers of thanks for Cornerstone’s daughter that has survived cancer but he initiated a collection for Band-Aids noting his daughter and other survivors continue treatments and after each shot, they need a Band-Aid for the wound. You can contribute to this cause via this link: https://t.co/aUQk0GliWs   Pizza Man’s daughter is ill, prayers for her recovery. Pizza Man’s Grandmother and her new knee.

Announcements: Tomorrow is F3 Dad’s at Martha’s House at 3PM.  It will be a 2.0 friendly beatdown followed by some fellowship and games.  If you come, bring water, snacks, and Frisbees, volleyballs, footballs, and anything else you want to play with.  Remember, it is for the kids! (wink wink)

Christmas-town 5K is technically closed for registration but we’re pushing 8 chariots. Please come out and support and run without a bib if you want. The Christmas Party will be December 15th at Quiche’s new estate. Rumor has it that pets will be allowed?

We named 2 FNG’s today. FNG Sap was visiting from Greenville, SC. JK2 and his company had a conference this weekend that lured several F3 men from other regions to participate in our Convergence. Special recognition to Spackler, Hacksaw, and To-to (theirs not ours) to join our convergence. Broke and Slaw EH’ed Chris Shuford to our workout. He was raised in Belmont, working his first job at Chronicle Mill earning the F3 name Lint Head. Welcome gentlemen.

Moleskin:  Pizza Man asked Roscoe or Short Sale to Q this convergence a while ago thinking he would be out of town.  We liked the idea of the Co-Q so we went with a theme.  Linus has an idea to Q a themed Veteran’s Day tribute at the Gashouse so he just moved it over and incorporated it into the Convergence.  The Pain Lab went mobile again and Roadie upped the game with a huge tire flipping station.  This was followed by Freight and Tiger sharing good words and introducing a 40 Day Spiritual Challenge.  We also learned that Ricky is full of constructive sarcasm.  Freight also delivered water, coffee, and bananas.  A true #HIM!

F3 is a blessing when we can share in all three F’s in one morning. You can sense the joy in the group when we get together and the fellowship is strong.  Please don’t take it for granted and always look for ways to be a positive influence on your spouse, your children, your peers, and strangers.  We should always be looking to invite others into the ring.