• Post Type:
  • When: 07/20/16
  • AO:
  • QIC: Short Sale
  • FNG's:
  • PAX: Rudolph, Brownstreak, Whoopee, Squirt, Bandit, JJ, Squeeker, Sargento, Defib, Woodstock, FNG (Bubba Shiles) Bacon, Short Sale (QIC)

Nearly all Americans at one time or another have gathered around a picnic table for a celebration of some sort. Maybe a birthday party or a outdoor barbeque. Usually joyous occasions. However for the 12 men completing this morning’s beat down, the next time someone announces ‘meet at the picnic tables…’ there could be a slight bit of trepidation.

As the circle formed I noticed a new face and introduced myself to meet Bubba Shiles. A bit unusual I thought that an F3 man is combining their workout name and their last name but I let it go and moved around to greet some of the others. Overhearing another introduction I realized there was an FNG in our midst. “How did you hear about coming out?” I asked to which Bubba replied, “Vinnie Cherry.” I surveyed the group at 5:28 am and Sargento was not present, but wait – I saw headlights of a Honda Accord coming in hot. The excuse? An act of nature and we’ll leave it at that. Time to go, slowly speaking through the disclaimer to make sure all heard today’s workout is “you versus you.”


  • Don Quixote IC x 10
  • Mountain Climbers IC x 10
  • Seal Jacks IC x 10
  • Side to Side Lunge IC x 10


Time to mosey…headed toward Martha Rivers the long way along Neal Hawkins Road. As we near the turn I hear a crash: “Man down! Man down!” I turn to find Squeeker the victim of a sinister ledge on the sidewalk. He rises, dusts himself off and declares himself ready to go. We continue, though I turned earlier than planned, taking a longer route to the first stop. I heard a little chatter about the Q not having a clue where I was going. YHC knew where he was going, just wasn’t sure how to get there (there is probably a country song about that I’m sure).

The Thang

Arriving at the picnic tables behind the playground near to Field 4. The beat down is announced. Using the tables for each exercise, the timer is set for 30 seconds of each exercise with a 10 second rest between. A total of 3 circuits:

1) Step-up Right Leg; 2) Step-up Left Leg; 3) Derkins (w/ feet on bench); 4) Peter/Parker/Peter (hands on bench)

A scenic mosey to picnic area #2 near the bathrooms. YHC offered one tip swiped from professionals – “when you lunge, don’t let your knee get ahead of your toe.” As I went to start the timer I realized my sweat soaked glove couldn’t unlock my phone. Removing the glove, I quickly realized my sweat soaked finger couldn’t do much better. Bandit offered to help but I was a little skeptical for Bandit to handle my weinke – especially after he flashed a wonke last Friday morning at the Downtown workout. Allow me to pull your mind from the gutter and quickly move ahead. On my own, I finally was able to dry my finger for a swipe of my phone (I’m sure the iPhone 12.0 will solve the sweaty finger problem in the near future). Again, Set #2 was 3 circuits of 30 second exercise and 10 second rest:

1) Lunge w/ right leg on bench; 2) Dips; 3) Lunge w/ left leg on bench; 4) Incline Merkins

Running short on time, better hustle to the final destination: picnic shelter near the volleyball court. I anticipated this and designed the final set to be mostly ab flavored exercises. We did 2 circuits of 30 second exercise and 10 second rest:

1) Rainbow Abs (seated windshield wipers – keep legs together and lift as high as you can left/right); 2) Bench Burps; 3) Flutter Kicks; 4) Decline Peter Parkers (this is a good one for upper abs).

Mosey home…circled for announcements: Derecho needs volunteer Q’s – see Defib; Brownstreak invited all to the Goat on 7/28 for his Christmas in July beat down; Bandit is taking up money for various causes – bring some cash and he’ll take care of it. Prayer requests: T-Square, Godfather, and Stroganoff for their loved ones; Safe travels for FUMC youth on mission trip to Boston, Brownstreak’s son heading to Romania, and FNG Bacon’s son sailing with the boy scouts in Florida Keys. By this point Squeeker’s knee was gushing, a nice battle wound that hopefully will heal quickly – way to push through it. FNG time: we welcomed Bubba Shiles to the fold. A home grown boy from Bessemer City, completing service with the Marines (Respect) and in the construction/remodeling business has a wife and two kids. He is a fit 51 year old (more Respect) that cycles, runs and trains will forever be known among F3 as Bacon.


There was not a lot of mumble chatter among the PAX. At the first picnic table station I offered the challenge for each circuit to be “you versus you” and could be covered in one of two ways. Either max out and set the bar high the first round, pushing to reach it on the next two. Or raise the bar after each circuit trying to set a max you didn’t think possible. You never know until you try. The hardest part is showing up. I was proud to be with 11 other men that dug deep to enjoy the picnic. Aye!