There was a point in my life where weekends were based around tee times. Golf is a game where one pure shot can become the hope in one’s mind creating the eagerness for the next round. It’s a game to pursue unattainable perfection where you don’t even have to be that good at it to enjoy it – kind of like F3. There is always the internal push to become better. Having completed my VQ a few weeks ago, I added another goal to improve. To Q on the big stage at the GasHouse – our hometown Mothership.
I’m not going to lie, it was a beautiful morning – perfect temperature with a slow sun rising and subtle breeze flowing leaving few excuses to remain in the fartsack. GasHouse began with Monk leading the Third F. Additional PAX began to fill the parking lot, friendly chatter exchanged as the circle formed and the clock chimed for the top of the hour. I stubbornly attempted to go without a Weinke, thankfully my brothers jumped in to keep me on track – aye!
Calf-raises – IC x10
Grass-picker (or Cotton Picker – depending where you grew up) – IC x10
Side to side lunge – IC x10
Toy Soldiers – IC x10 (temporary brain-fart by YHC as to how they were performed – thanks Dolph for getting me straight)
Moroccan Nightclubs – IC x20 (note to self – either learn to spell this one w/o looking up in F3 list or don’t use in warm-up)
Seal Jacks – IC x10
Mosey to the flag for the Pledge
YHC announced we were running a half mile to Sherwood school and got the street wrong nearly sending Dolph and Package on the scenic root…others read my mind to make a left by the library and we all made our way.
With our national golf championship being played at Oakmont, one of the preeminent courses in America, I designed a workout where every stroke counted and penalties were plentiful. Channeling my inner Jack Nicklaus, I converted the athletic fields of Sherwood Elementary school into one of the worst goat tracks in all of America: GasHouse National. I requested the greenskeeper perform one of those fancy cross-cut patterns we see from the blimp camera on network weekend coverage – what we got was an overgrown weed-patch; but that’s what you get with $0 budget. I tweeted a pre-blast where the mere mention of tee time tempted the curiosity of Package to skip Fort Mill and head to his old roots in G-town (Tclaps for his post).
Lucky for us collared shirts were not required and we went to work dividing into 4-somes (and one 5-some) for the shotgun start at 0715. With a three-pound bag of sand duck-taped to become a golf ball, each man took a turn to heave the rock from a teeing ground until holed. There were no leisurely strolls between the ropes of a manicured fairway – we work for our money at the GasHouse. The breakdown of travel between shots was:
Shot 1: Lunge walk
Shot 2: Bear crawl
Shot 3: Duck walk
Shot 4: Crab walk
Shot 5: Bunny hop
Shot 6: Skip
Typical F3 workouts only use the relatively simple arithmetic of addition. YHC inserted the additional challenge of multiplication. Upon holing the “golf ball” the pain station would be determined by multiplying the number of shots by the count listed on the scorecard or flag. Example: if it took 4 shots (throws) and the pain station was Merkins x 10, that group would do 40 Merkins; easier said than done. With flags scattered around the field of various distances and use of equipment for pain stations – the horn sounded and the DJ hit the play button for a 80’s set list that made Yo Polly ‘Google’ the likes of Kenny Loggins, Journey, Ratt, Van Halen, Led Zepplin, and The Who?
GasHouse National – Par 35
Hole #1 – Par 4 – American Hammers x 10
Hole #2 – Par 4 – Squats x 10
Hole #3 – Par 5 – Merkins x 10
Hole #4 – Par 3 – Step-ups x 10
Hole #5 – Par 5 – Mountain Climbers x 10
Hole #6 – Par 3 – Burpees x 5
Hole #7 – Par 4 – Freddie Mercury x 10
Hole #8 – Par 3 – Pull-ups x 2
Hole #9 – Par 4 (dogleg right) – Dips x 10
There appeared to be good mumble chatter among the PAX as they made their respective loops. Judging by the scores (two teams were 7 under and two teams were 4 under) YHC set the “course” for too many birdie opportunities. Next time we’ll go for a little more pain. The goal was to try something new. Now we have a baseline and know which way to go (up).
While waiting for the final group to come in, the PAX jumped into Mary with flutter kicks. With a few minutes to go, YHC added a few more:
Jingle Balls IC x15
Wide Pike Ups IC x15
Time to mosey home…
Announcements: F3 Dads to bring their 2.0’s to Martha Rivers Park on Saturday, 6/25 at 10 am for some fun. DaVinci will be strumming live at Kate’s in Clover next Saturday from 8-11. Check his Facebook and Instagram for more details.
We lifted prayers for the Godfather, in celebration of his wedding and for his mother-in-law; certainly a time of mixed feelings. We also prayed for Fort Mill’s Spud as well as others who are grieving over loss.
I appreciate the help and support of the PAX. In my second attempt at Q, I’m working my way to fill the leadership shoes. It’s a lot like golf. The bright moments of a great shot create the enjoyment and confidence. The bad shots provide the sour taste that motivates preparation to keep pushing the rock. Hopefully the before we play the back nine the greenskeeper will find his weed eater.