Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

The Yeti 2016, No One Died…

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If there was one phrase that rang true for this epic CSAUP, it was this…”Don’t die!” There was a lot of excitement leading up to The Yeti and possibly a little training. There were whispers of “I’m a little nervous” and “17+ miles is a lot” and “I wonder what the pain stations will be like.” All that said, 60 #HIM from 5 Regions (Fort, Rock Hill, SOB/Indian Land, Gastonia and Area 51) wanted a taste of this beast of a track! Categories ranged from running the whole thing (Yeti), Running and Biking (Iceman), various relay options, as well as a couple of made-up categories.

Temperatures were perfect for this thing to happen. PAX started arriving at Pantheon at 0530 to kick this thing off. But before we get to The Thang, there is a cast of characters that needs to be recognized:

Your Qs: YHC (Yeti Warmup), Crash (Iceman Warmup), Package, Spitz and Cable Guy
Paxarazzi: Solid State, Bolt and Spud
Support: Hasselhoff, Cobra Kai & Professor (While they did the relay)

Thanks to all of the PAX that made this CSAUP a success. It’s your event and you made it happen! And now…

The Thang (0600 Yeti & 0700 Iceman):


Mosey around the carpool lane at Pantheon w/ dynamic stretches (Butt Kickers, High Knees, Karaoke both sides) and then circle up on the field:

• SSH X25
• IW X25
• Low Slow Squats X25
• Windmills X 25
• Merkins X15
• Mountain Climbers X25
• Burpees X10 OYO

Mosey to the parking lot, mention “Don’t Die” one more time and then begin the Yeti route

Run: Pantheon to Ballroom (3.0 Miles)

Ballroom Painstation (Package)
1 Minute Each w/ 15 second Recovery
• Plank Jacks
• Shoulder Taps
• Merkins
• Parker Peter
• Wide Merkins
• Peter Parker
• SpiderMan Merkins
• Mountain Climbers
• Right Arm High
• Left Arm High
• Merkins
• 25 Burpees OYO (Crowd Pleaser)

Run: Ballroom to Coop (3.0 Miles)

Coop Painstation (Spitz)
100 Merkins
200 LBCs

Run or Bike: Coop to Run N Gun (6.5 Miles)

Run N Gun Painstation (Cable Guy)
10 Merkins
20 LBCs
30 SSH
Repeat 10 Times (Another Crowd Pleaser)

Run or Bike: Run N Gun to Pantheon (5.0 Miles)

Wait (or collapse into a pile) for the 6 and then mosey to Fort Mill BBQ for some Grub!

Total Mileage: Yeti – 17.5 Miles Run / Iceman – 6 Miles Run & 11.5 Miles Biked

The Yeti is just another great example of PAX coming together and supporting each other. This event would not have happened without a lot of energy from several people. I am humbled how it all came together. But let’s get to some facts and “special” moments as reported by the Pax.

• Fact: Several PAX reported that this was the furthest they’ve ever run at one time. Tclaps!
• Fact: Several PAX also reported that this was their first CSAUP
• Fact: This CSAUP counts as 1 workout towards your 250
• Fact: PAX ran over 650 miles and biked over 200 miles
• Fact: The Yeti Route does resemble our great state of South Carolina and was unintentional…but cool nonetheless
• #HIM Longshanks ran the entire Yeti supporting #HIM Dark Helmet (quoting Longshanks, “At one point Dark Helmet told me he was “excited” as he had been staring at my ass for the previous 12 miles”). According to DH, “No one told me I couldn’t do it (The Yeti), so I did it!” Awesome job brother!
• Geronimo’s Family met him at every AO. He thought it was so nice that some family came out in the gloom to support, then he realized it was his.
• Apparently Cake Boss picked up a cigarette rolling in to the Coop and told the PAX he picked a bad week to stop smoking
• Cobra Kai and Professor Handing out water on 160 while competing in the Yeti Relay
• One Word: Tatanka! This guy came all the way from Florida to spill Merlot (twice) with his closest friends. Several reports came in from separate sources that his form was suffering at the painstations. Alas, brothers CSPAN and Chaser were there to comfort!
• Run N Gun, Sir Topham Hat, Spandex!
• CSPAN stopping by his daughter’s bridal shower…awkward
• FNG Sloppy Joe
• Riddler not understanding Cable Guy’s Instructions and doing far too many Merkins, LBCs and SSH
• 2nd F at Fort Mill BBQ had over 75 PAX, Ms and 2.0s. Thanks to Sloppy Joe for opening early and supporting The Fort. Let’s do what we can to support him in the future.
• Maximus (with Walker) ran 2.5 more miles just to see if he could
• Tclaps to Gridlock on his mileage
• Tclaps to those who could not commit to the whole event but did what they could
• Tclaps to all the support PAX for water, gatorade, bananas, gels, gummies, and the list goes on

I apologize if I left anyone out or missed a “special moment.” All errors fall on my shoulders!

Here is a link to pictures from the event -> Yeti Pictures

So glad everyone enjoyed the beatdown and I’m glad that no one died. Don’t forget the Hog & Coyote later this year! Here are the times as reported:

F3 Name Type Time Notes
Sir Topham Hat Iceman 2:10:00
Defib Iceman 2:35:00
Dolph Iceman 2:35:00
Brownstreak Iceman 2:37:00
Whoopee Iceman 2:40:00
High Life Iceman 2:42:49
Atlas Iceman 2:45:00
One-Niner Iceman 2:45:00
World Wide Leader Iceman 2:47:00
Bounty hunter Iceman 2:47:00
Italian Job Iceman 2:47:00
Chaser Iceman 2:53:00
Ringer Iceman 2:53:00
ColdCuts Iceman 2:53:00
Royale Iceman 2:57:00
Cornhole Iceman 3:02:00
CSPAN Iceman 3:02:00
Tatanka Iceman 3:02:00
Atticus Iceman
Decibel Modified Run 6.50 Miles
White Lightning Modified Run 1:17:26 8.15 Miles
Free Bird Modified Run 1:21:30 8.15 Miles
Pusher Modified Run  8.15 Miles
Cake Boss Modified Run 1:28:17 8.15 Miles
Spiderman Modified Run 2:14:44 14.46 Miles
GridLock Modified Run 2:47:00 13.92 Miles
Photobomb Modified Run
Boeheim Yeti 3:23:00
Cerrano Yeti 3:24:00
Geronimo Yeti 3:24:00
Sasquatch Yeti 3:24:00
Tater Yeti 3:24:00
Gekko Yeti 3:25:00
Maximus Yeti 3:25:00
Corruption Yeti 3:27:00
Gears Yeti 3:36:00
Rooney Yeti 3:40:00
Senator Tressel Yeti 3:40:00
Zima Yeti 3:40:00
Fish Sticks Yeti 3:42:00
Minuteman Yeti 3:45:00
Ginsu Yeti 3:45:00
Copay Yeti 3:45:00
Axl Yeti 3:45:50
WhatDid Yeti 3:47:00
The Riddler Yeti 3:49:00
Javert Yeti 3:53:09
Seacrest Yeti 3:55:00
Dark Helmet Yeti 4:04:00
Longshanks Yeti 4:04:00
Belding Yeti
Catfish/Guage Yeti (Relay) 3:00:00
Burgundy/Walker Yeti (Relay) 3:04:00
Cobra Kai/Professor Yeti (Relay) 3:07:00
Smuggler/Bing Yeti (Relay) 3:27:00



  1. Boeheim

    Great work Zima. The whole thing was an absolute blast. With your organizational and planning skills, I’m guessing you also catered CSPAN’s daughter’s bridal shower.

    • Zima

      CSPAN’s a lot more high-maintenance than his daughter. The bridal shower was a breeze!

  2. CSPAN

    Zima this was a great event, we all appreciate your leadership and vision on this event.

    Get ready for the Hog&Coyote 6/18/16.

    PS: watching Tatanka spill for 3 hours was great motivation for the fuel challenge = chocolate stout after exit = #smelly

  3. Bolt

    Awesome job Zima and great participation!

  4. Italian Job

    Great leadership, Zima. Thanks for all the hard work getting it arranged. Super glad no one died.

  5. Cable Guy

    Awesome job Zima!! Great to see everyone who decided to stop by Run N Gun!! I hope to be running next years event!

  6. Geronimo

    That. Was. Horrible.
    Where do I go to sign up for the next one!
    Nice job Zima for bringing all the parts of this event together.

  7. Dark Helmet

    Outside of being grossly misquoted and presented completely out of context about Longshanks’ ass, this actually was a lot of fun. I can say that now that I don’t hurt anymore…
    This was great motivation to never run a marathon.

    • Longshanks

      My bad Dark Helmet. It was 10 miles not 12.

      • Zima


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