The final matchup of Flintstone’s inaugural creation occurred at the GasHouse with a healthy crowd of eager attendees. Much like our political world in recent years, it seemed some men showed to vote against one candidate possibly more than for the other. We are fortunate as Americans to live in a democracy where our right to vote can be cast on whatever criteria we choose. As F3 men, we are truly Freed to Lead as our guide manual is titled. Coupled with one of the principles that each workout is Peer led, that element paints unique pictures for us not only to observe but participate as well.
First, it is an honor to have been selected among this elite group. I really have not Q’ed much in the past year, so my reputation of past performance likely carried some weight among the preliminary round. Once the matchups were set and due to some scheduling conflicts, I ended up against Sister Act. Truth be told, SA was one of my 5 nominees. Despite his general douchyness, his workouts are always a challenge in the simplistic choice of exercises. We love to give him a hard time for his limited Weinke but if you push through it, you will be smoked, no doubt about it. Strategically, I deferred my Q to the 2nd half. Partly because SA pre-accused me of a douche move to not identify the changeover location. Easy problem to solve – I graciously invited SA to go first. To my surprise, he actually led a warm-up with 10 reps of SSH, 5 burpees, 10 x Hillbillies, 5 burpees, and 10 x Gravel pickers. He gruffed “let’s go.” As Site Q at the GasHouse, we typically say the pledge at that point. As we moseyed over to the library, whether by reminder or intent, we paused for the pledge. I guess SA does love our country.
SA began with a circuit that included Big Boys, merkins, Imperial Walker Squats, and Burpees (you knew there’d be burpees) then run around the book drop-off circle. When you returned, perform Seal Jacks or pick up the 6 until the six was in. The first round was 5, followed by 10, and then to 20. SA took notes as to who got the six as that is a medal award at the yearend Christmas party. Freight has apparently set his sights to add that award to his collection. During about round 2, Slaw straddled SA during the merkins to give some Navy love to our Q. It was one of those memories you can’t unsee. If you were absent, be glad for this reason. We then moved to what SA called Iron Plank or something he claims to have created. A ratio of 1:4 Mike Tyson (you knew these would be included) to Mtn Climber. The Q said “on my count” which ended up being a fleeting glimpse of his leadership. Somewhere after round 4, there was no more “iron” in this as SA took breaks between each exercise, resting on his knees and adding Moroccan Night Clubs. This even became too much iron for our leader as he was so winded his cadence became inaudible. Thankfully Pockets picked up for the Q because we were going to 10 MT’s and 40 MC’s or else. Many opted out at this point which is probably why SA got so few votes. With a few minutes left, SA “created” another new combination to perform Route 66 Merkin/Bear Crawl something-or-other. We began at the bottom of the parking lot and slowly worked our way up to maybe 7-10-ish reps? SA had lost complete control at that point with steady mumble chatter affecting any ability to lead. Buzzer sounded!!
Time for me to take the reins of this sled. We moseyed to the front parking lot of First Presbyterian Church where a circle formed and I acknowledged the work completed, but if they could give me whatever effort they had in the tank, we’d push through my brand of Q. Admittedly, my Q’s are not the most difficult. In the attempt to be creative, I realize I tend to overcomplicate at times (the hell you say??, not really, I do…) but I always have a purpose. Either to target a particular body group or purpose of the Weinke. To ease into this thing, let’s do some core-cardio. On the timer was 25 seconds for each exercise with NO rest between:
- Burpees (because SA says it’s not a true w/o unless you have burpees – box checked)
- 4×4 (4 merkins+4 Mtn. Climbers, stand up, repeat) I counted these out loud for all to hear without getting winded, maybe that got me a vote?
- Squat Jack Twist – yes, like a dance move but good cardio; feel free to get jiggy with it at your next Q
- Crunchy Frogs – groans from the PAX – that’s a good thing
- Jump Squats – PAX hate these too (I’m doing something right)
- Turtle Crunch – I’m likely the only one to include this so had to demo, you should try it
- Goof Ball – in honor of former Nantan – Sargento (secured another vote there)
- American Hammer – because America > Russia
- Alternating Lunge Jumps – yes – in F3, these are called Bonnie Blairs – thanks for paying attention
- Ski Abs – insanity move that Freight and I are the few to employ this cardio-core burner
Next up was something I had done previously but with a much smaller and quiet audience. It was a Q fail on my part. But you know how politicians will sometimes step in “it” causing their teams to perform damage control? That was this routine. This is one of those occasions that it looked good on paper. I asked the PAX to find their own parking spot (this was a challenge in and of itself). At the bottom of the space, do 5 HR Merkins. Bear Crawl forward to the curb, 5 Mtn Climbers, Plank Walk right for Plank Jacks, Joe Hendrix back to the other side of the space for 5 Mike Tysons. Poorly executed by the Q and I realized the train was getting off the tracks…let’s move the Main Event.
Rounding the corner was my elaborate set up with a party tent acting as Short Sale’s Tavern of Torture. I had coupons in the form of 6 empty kegs and 8 cases of beer. For this special occasion, I contracted some bartenders to assist me. Our prayers have been for Turtleman in an enduring battle. If his attitude and fight can’t inspire you, nothing else will. This was an opportunity for him to be engaged with an F3 event and while Turtleman is a nice looking fellow, I needed some eye candy. Hooters isn’t making millions of dollars just for their chicken wings and beer pitchers. So Turtleman’s M Christine and another friend Nancy were my bartenders to handout menus for the PAX. What’s on the menu you are now wondering? Well first, let me further explain, in the parking lot, spaced at the end of two islands and in the middle of the islands were 7 stations, aka “bars” named after the other QvQ participants:
- Freight’s Mad Dog Saloon
- Ball Joint’s Bud Light Garage
- Whoopee’s Honky Tonk
- Broke’s Sour Grapes Wine & Cheese Bistro
- Roscoe’s ‘Coon and Cocktail
- WireNut’s Gates of Hell Biker Bar and Fightery
- Sister Act’s Lonely Hearts Lounge
This effort required partners to team up, go to my bar and request a menu which my lovely assistants would give them a menu – no trading out unless you were willing to drink a beer penalty. The menu stated if a coupon was needed. It directed them to a designated “bar” for a set of exercises that were all familiar and needed no further explanation. Most menu’s required multiple stops along the circular route. Once the menu (i.e. circuit) was completed, return your card and get another one. Goal was to complete 3 rounds. In total, there were 18 different workouts on the cards. Despite SA trying to stir the chatter, for this part of the workout, my instructions were clear. There were 4 levels of workouts:
- Lightweight
- Buzzed
- Piss Ass Drunk
- and Blackout (“Call an Uber”)
I intentionally paired with SA and Doodles as we had an odd number of PAX. SA complained the first round wasn’t as hard as his. True, but there were a mix of workouts, so for Round 2 we stepped up with this 3 bar circuit that had 5 burpees, 10 werkins, and 20 squats at each station. SA complained of his knee hurting and having to back it down. The other circuit worth mentioning was the Beer Mile, except it was only 0.15/mile and each PAX had to drink 2 beers. The overall winners were Slaw and Pockets who selected one of the cases/coupon’s as their prize. With only a few minutes remaining, we bid our bartender’s farewell. I offered Roadies of beer and/or water which some of the PAX accepted my bribe to enjoy along their return to base.
Once back at the Schiele, the PAX voted via notecards. Would they prefer the double black diamond or the creative effort? On SLACK, SA had forecasted the event would be similar to my Wolfpack’s ACC game against Clemson – a competitive first half followed by the Pack’s fizzle in the second to lose big. Fortunately I escaped the curse known as #StateShit and the PAX enjoyed my Q significantly more than SA to the tune of 16 to 6 (one PAX voted for Freight). Winner, winner, chicken dinner. And fortunately for you, the backblast was written in a little over 24 hours; another vote for me.
Prayer requests: Flintstone’s dad beginning radiation treatment. Announcements: Speed 4 Need at the Community Foundation Run – tell Broke if you are pushing. Relay running event at the Whitewater Center – see Flinstone. I took us out in prayer.
Moleskin: Thanks to Flintstone for creating this event. It has definitely increased the attention in what may have been a “normal” workout. I’ve participated in 3 of the 4 matches and all have been well attended. Each Q has brought their best effort. Being on the home turf at the GasHouse made it comfortable for me. Sister Act tends to draw the negative mumble chatter and I had a few votes in my pocket before the workout began. At least for this round, my effort was noticed by the majority of the PAX. The coupons and elaborate grandeur bought me a few votes, as did the free beer. I spent a good chunk of my week, including a half day off to plan everything. But a win over SA are bragging rights that will last a lifetime, someone remember to put that on my tombstone.
Now it’s on to the semi-finals where I’ll match efforts against Ball Joint. A man after my own heart who provides beer bribes as well. Looks like I’ll have to dig into my toy box of creativity. I hope you’ll join us Friday morning at Downtown where you can first hand experience the workout for yourself. I will give my best effort not to disappoint. Until the next one, thanks for the opportunity to lead.
Short Sale 16
Sister Act 6