Twisted Goat: How many Q-fails does it take…

How many Q-Fails does it take to…  wait a minute, let’s back up and start at the beginning.  0528: Mumblechatter begins with speculation about the new “Twisted Goat” sign above the former Doffers.  0529: Tesla arrives notably on time, maybe even a minute early, while Pilgrims Progress casually strolled down the sidewalk as 0530 struck and the workout commenced.  Were these signs of “twisted” things to come??

Following a plan so carefully orchestrated and memorized that no Weinke was necessary, warm-up SSH and Hillbilly walkers (each 15xIC) proceeded without a hitch.  So far so good; on to The Thang:

Mosey down the street and around next to the gazebo. Set timer for 0:30 of some exercises: 
Derkins, Bobby Hurleys, Michael Phelps, Dips, Plank-jacks, Side-bridges (like low-plank sideways pickle pounders, L and R separately). 
This is when problems began.  The iPhone timer – a critical element of aforementioned carefully orchestrated plan – failed to sound the alarm when time ran out.  This could perhaps be blamed on cold weather, Apple, or many other uncontrollable external forces.  Covid, a convenient and universal scapegoat for anything that goes wrong, could easily be responsible for these technological mishaps, right?  Wrong.  The PAX and mercilessly laid blame and responsibility right where it belongs:  QIC, YHC.  IMHO, they thoroughly reveled in it.  After repeated “Q-fails” on the first full set exercises, and a crack from old Uncle Ted about YHC’s technological incompetence, something clearly had to be done.  Manually watching the clock and calling time would be tedious.  Omaha the whole thing and start from scratch?  Maybe, but YHC didn’t give up that easily.  The passing Amtrak train provided 5 burpees worth of relief to gather a few thoughts and announce an alternative plan:  Reduce the time to 0:25 per exercise; rinse and repeat.  As if the ghost of Steve Jobs approved of a 25-second maximum limit for these exercises the 0:25 timer worked flawlessly!  The iPhone remained somewhat twisted, however, as it escaped from YHC’s pocket multiple times throughout the remainder of the workout.  Not to worry, OtterBox passed all of these real-world tests of durability.

After the second set of exercises, mosey toward the fire station then back up the hill towards the RR tracks.  Turning left behind the buildings, Carioca to the end of the block.  Mosey back to Center St. then Carioca to the corner at the Twisted Goat, where the short brick walls surround the bike rack.   Set timer for 0:25 of each of the following exercises:
Derkins, Bobby Hurleys, Michael Phelps, Dips, Plank-jacks, Side-bridges (L and R separately).  Rinse and Repeat.

Mosey toward the police station then around the square and across the street to the bridge. Bear crawl across the bridge until it’s too slippery (about 2/3 of the way across), lunge-walk the rest of the way, then Carioca to the picnic tables at the park. Set timer for 0:25 of each of same exercises:
Derkins, Bobby Hurleys, Michael Phelps, Dips, Plank-jacks, Side-bridges (L and R separately). No time to rinse and repeat this time.  Mosey back to the bridge.  Bear crawl to about halfway across, then mosey back to the flag. 

One minute remaining – just enough time for a few Freddie Mercurys and Six-shooters before COT.

Announcements and prayers:  Check Slack; lots of CSAUP’s going on at end of March.   

Lagniappe:  Failure is a necessary part of learning.  Thanks to the 5 HIM’s who stuck it out and persevered until we found the right routine.

Privileged to lead today!

 – Nutria