Tobacco Road Relay

In a season inundated with races, relays, challenges and CSAUPS we still had 6 HIM say yes to this new relay (Well really 5 and one Whoopee who’s arm was a little twisted by someone he works with).  I have been eyeing this relay up for many reasons.  It is one day, it is “only” 75 miles, it is relatively flat, and it runs on greenways and well marked trails.  Surely this would not disappoint.  The only drawback is that with the race starting in Chapel Hill it does push the boundaries of what is comfortable for a one day / no overnight stay race.  Therefore with a 7:30 start time the Gashouse team met at Roses at 4 am.  As we came together the first time as a team we quickly realized that the team was composed of the oldest and the youngest “runners” in F3 Gastonia.  This prompted Freight to comment that we should have named the team “17 to Senile”.  After loading up the playstation for Wiki and the Ice bath for Oompa there was still plenty of room for us to be comfortable in the Transit van.  The trip from G-town to CH was lightning fast with no one on the road and we arrived in just under 2 hours.  (We may not run fast but we can drive fast!)  After checking in some of us decided we should christen the port a johns which were immaculate but must have been stocked by David Goggins with stay hard toilet paper.

Broke led off for a blistering sub 8:20 first leg.  He crossed like it was just another day a crossroads.  Next up was Wiki – we knew he would not be challenged by his 8.6 mile leg but we barely had time to get the van to the second EZ before he arrived in just under an hour (sub 7 pace).  Of course he was actually sandbagging as he arrived to wake up Freight by doing a back flip in the parking lot. (Bat flipper and human flipper)  Freight responded with a side flip out of the vehicle.  Freight’s first route was a true trail run but he felt like he was right at home having trained at Poston.  Of course this being a narrow trail and Freight being competitive he had to manhandle a few runners.  Shortly after Freight came in two runners came in battered and soiled from Freight throwing them Seuss style into the woods – (new meaning to Kill Kill).  Next up was Oompa who’s leg started by crossing a busy intersection.  Unfortunately the race director made him wait for a local boy scout to show up to help him across the road.  However once he was pointed in the right direction he was able to mosey to his EZ without his life alert bracelet going off.  I was next up and as I waited on Oompa and waited on Oompa and waited some more I spotted a nice young coed with spandex also waiting for her runner.  I quietly hoped that our runners would come in together so I could have some company on my 6 miler ( I unlike Slaw am not afraid of being called names). The running gods were smiling on me that day as she took off just 30 seconds before me.  As I fist bumped Oompa and took off I realized that despite her slim physique said Co-ed was not too much of a runner.   After a couple of minutes I made the difficult decision to take one for the team and pass her.  Despite running alone, the route was an awesome – treelined greenway the entire way.  Next up was  Whoopee.  By now it was noon and Whoopee who had already eaten his 1.5lb PB&J sammy and slammed his Vanilla Molk (a real drink /not slang for white milk) he apparently was still hungry but he passed on Freight’s 420 calorie Little Debbie PB cookie!  After hours of listening to Whoopee explain how much he hates running he completed his leg with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.  Apparently he passed several plus sized local girls on the greenway who were giving him some real looks and smiles.  Nothing like a little encouragement to stroke the ego.

The last half of the race was a bit on the warm side with temps in the 70s but with cloud cover and treelined greenways the legs flew by.  There were several observations we had about the local culture / community.  The residents of the triangle are some interesting folk.  Somewhere between Durham and Raleigh we passed a funeral/celebration of life/estate sale all in one.  Apparently people in the triangle are in a hurry, or perhaps they just needed everything to go –  including Grampa.  There are also some interesting businesses in the triangle area.  Wiki spotted a sign for Ohcrapnc.com. (look it up) – a business dedicated to picking up pet crap.  No Crap – literally!  Not sure who needs this?  Nursing Homes? Veterinarians? Farms?  But no one in the van felt compelled to open a franchise.  We also learned that Whoopee likes his okra raw and hairy (I will just let this softball linger).

With the afternoon fading and just myself and Whoopee left to run and the realization that we had a 2 1/2 hour drive home – we pulled a play from the Mortimer playbook and sent Whoopee off early so we could enjoy a cold brew and burger before heading back to G-town.  In the end we all agreed that I am a better race/party planner than Sargento.  (FYI I promise to help Sargento next year with the Las Vegas half – so be sure to HC for that one)

To those of you who were on the fence about this race – don’t be – Its a great relay for those who have never done one or who enjoy one-day relays.    It was clearly one of he best relays we have done.

Until next time

Defib out