where you at bitch?

So if you run your mouth on Slack and then fartsack, what does that make you???? Hint: check the title.

There was a picture on Slack of a certain pax dressed as a gnome. Allegedly, it was someone whose name rhymes with Poopee….comments from multiple comedians followed, however only 1 comedian showed to back up his comments (thanks Roscoe-and BTW, I do know what they say about a man with big ears….). I promised to provide a proper beatdown and did my best despite having no ShortSale or SA show up.

We started with a disclaimer and pledge then got right into it with 1 minute of exercises: AMRAP for 1 minute for the following-BigBoys, Arm Haulers, Squats, Merkins, and Burpees. Slaw was smiling and I do believe I even saw a little bulge down below the belt when I called Burpees. It was dark and I didn’t have my glasses so I may be incorrect.

Next, mosey to the far lot for some 4 corners: 10 Mike Tysons (for you SA, but sadly you were dreaming of milk sammiches at home with your Yoda PJs on), 20 BigBoys, 30 Lunges (each leg???? WTF was I thinking-can’t Omaha, Wirenut is here and that dog won’t hunt if I try to Omaha), then finally 40 SSH. Mosey to the wall for some wall sits, Australian wall sits (BTTW), wall sits, and hip slappers. Man, I LOVE hip slappers. Have I ever told any of you that? The only thing that would have made the HS better this am would be hearing the whiny girly FIA-ish complaining from SS or SA. EZ Rider was a bit mouthy but he still put in the work. I could hear Amazon counting above almost everyone else-it almost made me think that I was the only one who likes Hip Slappers????? Nah, not a chance.

Next we moseyed around the corner for some jump, crawl, lunge. This might be my new favorite….maybe not. Starting at first light, do long jumps to next light. Then bear crawl to next light, then lunge to next light. I started out going pretty fast (I thought) then all of a sudden Slaw’s ass was all I could see as he buzzed by me almost at a sprint. We went a total of 6 lights then stopped at the stop sign (where else would we stop??). Next we moseyed down the street then turned left and found a wall for some Hip Slappers and Dirty Hookups. I don’t remember how many, but it was enough. Now I remember-we did 10 then I let EZ Rider pick the number for round 2. Shoulda been there-that was a joke but most of you did not get it. Did you get it SA? How about you Shortsale, was that funny? No, because YOU WERE NOT THERE THIS AM.

We moseyed back into the parking lot for some “20 yards of hell” that I thought up for SA, but again he was at home…..in his YODA PJs!!!! He’s probably got footies and a button up back side. We hopped 20 yards then did 20 reps of an exercise then moseyed back. The exercises were Merkins, Squats, and BURPEES!!!! I definitely saw a bulge in Slaw’s britches at this point. I believe it’s time for a new name for Slaw….maybe Woody? The Package? Dirk Diggler???? Also, Slaw was doing something illegal to the things we used to mark the 20 yards. I’m still not sure I will get much sleep tonight. It. Was. Not. Natural. At all.

We still had time left but dang, I was just about out of gas and a little queasy. I also was not sure what I would do with the 20 yard markers that Slaw had defiled. We moseyed around to another side of the lot and what was Slaw doing? He was doing Burpees. And smiling about it too. I really didn’t want to do much else but time was almost out so we did some Bojangles biscuits: run the straights and mosey the corners for total of 3 laps then back to start for flutter kicks until the end.

We finished with COT then it was over.

Great morning and outstanding effort by all. Thanks for showing. And by the way, SA and Shortsale were not there this am.

Whoopee