Beat to Death Like a Dog

Today marked my 7th F3 workout since we went “back to normal” (whatever that is these days). Seven workouts is an average week for guys like Broke, Sister Act, and Dr. Seuss, but I’ve been on the sidelines, reading about workouts instead of participating. I can’t recall the exact moment but after workout #1 (Midoriyama) or workout #2 (GasHouse) on Mother’s Day weekend in May, that Sunday my knee resembled an average cantaloupe. The initial doctor visit tried to soothe with cortisone but that was temporary and a few weeks returned for an MRI and the anticipated diagnosis of a torn meniscus. I’d love to make up a good story about how it occurred but being among friends I think it is old age. I have to admit, I have enjoyed a built in excuse to fartsack as I’ve never been an early riser. Working from home since March makes that easier since my office is now a 40 second commute rather than a 40 minute mad dash north on 85. But trying to keep my toe on the accelerator a little, I’ve found some YouTube stuff to stay as active as I can primarily doing core and upper body work. After attending last week’s Bulldog, I got over some soreness and thought it would be much easier if I could control the Weinke and Q what I can do – so without further adieu.

What seemed like a cool 72 degrees still had a layer of humidity that would soon blanket our circle. I said post Twitter 10 men posted, but the video proved I forgot to count the Q. So 10 men circled around me for the pledge and a brief disclaimer – “you verses you, hope you enjoy this…” and away we went with a soundtrack (since the PAX gave the site Q hell last week for lacking music).

Warm-up:

• Arm circles  – forward/back, small then big, then across the chest
• Toy Soldier ICx10
• Side to side lunge ICx10
• Backscratch ICx10 (on your 6, glute bridge, right hand reach as far over your left shoulder – push off on your right heel, then switch; this activates your core, glutes, back – all around good stretch – try it)

The Thang:

As the Rolling Stones were mid-way through Gimme Shelter I announced the first set which I don’t have  a cool name, but the PAX voted it is much worse than a Slaughter Starter (which is God-awful anytime). So I clicked the timer and call 10 burpees with 60 seconds on the clock. Once you finish, you get to recover until the next segment which you have 55 seconds to execute 9 burpees. Debatably there is enough intelligence to follow this trend of reducing the burpee count by one and the time by five seconds. Except when we got to what would have been one burpee, I surprised the PAX and said 60 seconds AMRAP. Why? because life works that way, and as a former Nantan once said “I’m the Q dammit!” So it’s kind of like Every Minute On the Minute (EMOM) but worse because the recovery is shorter. I’ll save you the trouble and the math – the routine lasts 7 minutes and you get 54 burpees + the AMRAP, so 60-75 depending on your effort.

By this point, we cruised through song #2 which is the title of the workout “Beath to Death Like a Dog” is performed by Rhino Bucket which I’m sure is missing from most anyone’s playlist but if you like ACDC, check them out. Judas Priest’s version of Johnny B. Goode took us into the Red Reaper, at least my version of it. This is an arm and shoulder killer. I called this in single cadence count:

• Merkins x 15
• Shoulder Taps x 30
• Merkins x 15
• Dips x 15
• Decline Peter Parker x 30
• Dips x 15

Now to the core work with the common theme of Mountain Climbers. I saw a post from an exercise enthusiast (not F3) that said Mountain Climbers were a key to his everyday workout program because it is a cardio/core burner. And it doesn’t hurt my knee – so let’s go!

• Mtn Climber x 20 (count 1 leg)
• LBCs x 20
• Something I can’t recall x 20
• Mtn Climber x 20
• Side Plank Elbow Crunch R x 20
• Side Plank Elbow Crunch L x 20
• Mtn Climber x 20
• Pretzel Crunch R x 20
• Pretzel Crunch L x20

Red Reaper #2

• Mtn Climber x 20 (count 1 leg)
• Knee to Elbow crunch x 20
• Elbow to Knee crunch x 20
• Mtn Climber x 20
• Low Ab Swipes x 20 (Outhouse re-named these “finger hooks”)
• X Crunch x 20
• Mtn Climber x 20
• Penguin Crunch x 20
• Monkey Crunch x 20

Red Reaper #3

Burpee Finisher – 7 minutes on the clock: begin with 10 and work down to 2, then do 1 minute of LBCs AMRAP – because I’m a nice Q…again – you never know what life throws at you…and “I’m the Q dammit!”

COT – Prayers for Sister Act’s 2.0 and Family, Blart and his family, Allen Tate’s shoulder surgery, Def Leppard’s Plantar Faciitis, and YHC’s upcoming knee surgery along with others unnamed but injured or pushing through pain; Announcements: Mt. Mitchel Hike, Annihilation at GasHouse on 8/29

Moleskin:

It was nice to get back in the center of the circle. I’ve missed Q-ing but more than that, missed being with the guys. It’s the part of F3 that means more than the workout. But make no mistake – I was going to bring punishment to the PAX that posted this morning, that is part of it too. I’ve held myself accountable to getting some movement in, I say that because some days stretching is what my body needs, but in my time away, I’ve tried to get better in other ways so at some point, hopefully in the nearer future, I won’t be the distant 6. We’re not getting younger is something I hear more as I approach respect. We push to be in physical condition at the detriment of our bodies breaking, but at least there is a will to fight. I read about it often but was able to witness it this morning, especially considering almost half our PAX today had a “Respect” called after their name. Thanks for the opportunity to lead but to be in the gloom. See you again soon, I hope.

Short Sale

Just in case you’re curious – the Playlist (of which Def Leppard knew two songs)

• Gimme Shelter – Stones
• Beat to Death like a Dog – Rhino Bucket
• Johnny B. Goode – Judas Priest version (movie Soundtrack)
• Neon Knights – Black Sabbath (Rudolph – it was for you…no show)
• Powerslave – Iron Maiden
• The Last Fight – Bullet for my Valentine
• Bleed it Out – Linkin Park (actually Leppard guessed this group)
• Break Stuff – Limp Bizkit (Hunter Huss very own as some learned)
• Metalingus – Alter Bridge (for Roscoe – he had to work)
• Rotting Pinata – Sponge