Tag: Convergence

Shortsale had solicited HIPAA, & VooDoo about hosting a gear/Painlab/Bulldog/low-impact Convergence sometime early in 2021.  When asked to participate, I was all about it, but also not surprised.  Shortsale is kind of our renaissance guy in F3 Gashouse, as he has tackled all manner of workout, AO’s, and has the ability to incorporate all of parts very well.  Here, we have an opportunity to shake it up a bit with all Pax, and again share how we we can accomplish the 1st F via this style of workout.  Several weeks of planning, and we each agreed we’d lead a segment.  Looking back, this Convergence workout came to resemble how these low-impact AO’s typically work = Muscle specific, cardio, end with an amalgamation of the two.  Then, some pelvic thrusts via Kenny G…..but I digress.

Big ups to Les Nessman for tagging his cinderblock collection for general use.  I was impressed how many men showed with either a block, their rucksack (awesome!), a bell, or in other words, they were PREPARED.  Even Slim Shady hollered the night before, saying he was living up to his name and needed a loaner.  A group of 5 were getting in EC ruck training, and the crowd made their way to the field.

Preamble – welcome to Convergence, we have been 6 years strong at Gashouse.  I describe what low-impact work is, and that given we have Bulldog, Diablo Sammich and Painlab as 3 site specific AO’s that focus on low-impact/modification/injury/introduction/muscle work, there is ZERO reason that every man in Gaston County cannot be EH’d.  These workouts are 48 hours apart, 3 workouts a week.  That is not a coincidence.  HEADLOCK!  Big ups to Brutus for brining in an FNG, aka Big Lizard today.  Reminder that for $1.50 you can have 30lb. weight (cinderblock) that will get your muscle needs done.  And men, you need muscle work because you will lose it faster than your cardio/lungs.  We also reviewed the 5 core tenets of F3.

Warm-up:  so of course after I say we are doing low-impact, HIPAA has a high impact warmup for us (facepalm).  But it’s fun, so no worries – he plays the song Danger Zone and you have to do SSH’s until you hear the song name, do a squat when you hear it, then resume.  Good warm-up.  I hate to say it, but VooDoo whispered “is this from Iron Eagle?”.  Facepalm.  He’s smarter than me, but good gracious a’mighty….

Phase I – Muscle Specific Work – pretty simple, do as I do…if you can’t hit the reps called, just gimme what you got.  Goal was to torque muscles that are not normally torqued at Bootcamps:

• Half Moons x 20
• Goblet Squat x 15
• Chest Pullovers x 15
• Curls x 20
• Thrusters x 12
• Reverse Lunges x 10
• Bent over rows x 10
• Tricep Extensions x 15
• Single Arm Deadlifts x 10
• Shoulder Press x 20
• Side Lunge x 10
• Upright Rows x 15
• Halos x 10
• People’s Chair x however damn long I felt like 🙂

Phase II – Cardio:  okay, I will have trouble remembering this, but from the time I saw it, I knew it was trouble.  We made our way over to the hill (Bulldog has a great area for workout), and VooDoo threw this at everyone:

Murder-Bunny up the hill; at the top you owe 25 alternating block merkins, 25 chest pullovers, 25 squat curls….go down the hill and 15 Blockees.  Back up the hill via Murder-Bunny, 25 upright rows, 25 presses, 25 flutters, back down the hill.

I’ll end this by saying it sucked.  I did take a video of everyone during this, it’s on the mumble-chatter.  Some provocative poses.  They would make Kenny G proud….but I digress.  We got 2 rounds in, time for HIPAA to put it all together.

*big ups to Hushpuppy for forcing me into a race the second time up the hill.  Vomit fuel.

Phase III:  The Nickel Bag – HIPAA omaha’d from his original thought at the request of VooDoo and I.  You all wanted no part of that before he took mercy.  The Thang:

Bottom of hill – 5 American Hammers; Bear crawl with weight to first cone.

First cone – 5 diamond decline merkins; crawl

Second cone – 5 decline Big Boy Sit Ups; crawl

Third cone – 5 decline pseudo-planche merkins; crawl

Top of Hill – 5 Power to the People each side

I don’t know how many rounds there were, but after I almost merlot’d I looked at my phone, and it was 7:53.  Round it up back to the field.

*earlier this week HIPAA and I traded barbs in preparation, regarding music, and it came down to something like “you’ll get Kenny G and you’ll like it!”.  It did take me by surprise that Kenny G started playing when I started us on Mary.  In celebration of this, we went to plank and pickle pounded every time I shouted “KENNY G!”.  Then Whoopee, after some incredible moaning (show to know) tried to either molest me or whip my ass.  I’m still unsure, but it left me confused and curious, just like I do my wife.  Show to know.

TIME!

Pledge of Allegiance.

Announcements:

• Fitness Test next week at GasHouse
• Freed to Lead in July (Park Street Methodist) – please chime in on mumblechatter regarding this!  Poor notes!
• May 22 – an amoeba ruck scheduled by Bos, beer is involved.  He will update us.  Good on Bos.

Prayer Requests:

• GSM/Stroganoff, all people that need uplifting during this time
• Turtle Man
• Wirenut made mention of how each of us can leave for the day, and not come home.  LEAVE RIGHT, be rock solid each day.  Keep your eyes open and appreciate life.  Good word.
• Ville to Ville crew (did  you all see their time??  Son of ##### they were cooking.  Now come get some muscle 🙂 )
• Mental health and addiction
• COVID affected
• Sister Act’s knee….not the rest of him, just his knee.

Breaker Breaker then lead us on scripture lesson on Servant Leadership.  I cannot do it justice here, but on the mumblechatter I’ve got  really nice picture.  Great words, and I appreciate his being compelled to speak.   I will say that I made a joke, that he’s my Stone, and no one else can have him….but given the past year, I’ll tell you all I entered into both a Shieldlock, and the Whetstone program, and both have been of great help to me.  Create these for yourselves men (Big ups to Huckleberry, Roscoe, Gastone and others instrumental in those; and to my Shieldlock, which includes HIPAA, VooDoo, Pedal, T-square, El Toro, Tube, and Double-Stuff.  It’s a big SL, just like us).

MOLESKIN – what can you say?  I had each guy give their name at name-o-rama, and how many years they had been here (video on mumblechatter)  We had a few visitors from Metro (thanks!), and one had 9 years, and our FNG had 1 day.  Whether it’s the start of the journey, or you have many miles in between, we’re a special group that has an obligation to make the lives of those around us better.  Better through Fitness of body in mind, better through Fellowship with care and concern, and better through Faith that we will see a better day, every day.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab some Advil….KENNY G!

Rudolph, HIPAA, VooDoo

To borrow the hashtag from hometown pro golfer Harold Varner “#WeHere” and more 50 men showed to embrace the opportunity and the challenge for 2021. It was the first convergence of this year, God willing, hopefully not the last. Unable to have our annual Christmas party, we began the workout with 2020 Nantan Def Leppard announcing the transition of the Senior Leadership Team (SLT):

• Nantan – Broke
• 1st F – Short Sale
• 2nd F – Allen Tate (wait a second…[checks notes], no, that’s correct)
• 3rd F – Breaker Breaker
• Weasel Shaker – Watts Up (why change what works?)
• Comz – Big Pappy
• Wetstone – Huckleberry

Broke is hung up in quarantine from the Rona…so Def Leppard begins the warm-up:

• 10 Burpees OYO (one last bit of power for the big guy)
• SSH
• Cotton Pickers
• Imperial Walkers

He gives way to YHC. I was honored when Broke first asked me to consider this opportunity to be the First F for our region. Without hesitation I accepted. It’s a role I had thought would be a fun challenge. Tesla mentioned in his backblast from Downtown some themes of chaos, adversity, and disruption being a catalyst for F3 Leadership. A Starfish organization where each day is a different Q, organized by a Site Q, under the command of my new role as First F Q. Each opportunity provides a chance to fail as much as a chance to learn, grow, and become stronger through it. So please be patient as I intend to disrupt your path to fitness. Provide leniency as I try new things (see Sandy V Obliques).

“Those who dare to fail miserably, can achieve greatly”

John F. Kennedy

To begin my maiden voyage as First F I began with a childhood game of “Red Light/Green Light.” I divided the circle around me roughly in half with the south group as the green and the north group as the red. Either the 30 degree cold froze the ears or the PAX brains reverted to their childhood when they last played the game. I said do burpees until your color changed…how does the color change? Via the Randomity Timer app on my phone. It took about 2-3 rounds before the PAX thawed to join in…leave it to Tool Time (3rd place Mumble Chatter award) to create more chaos and distract others from their opportunity. Pizza Man snuck closer toward my phone and realized I actually was working off of the app and assisted in the calls. You can set the time limits for the min/max you choose. I had it at 5 seconds min and 20 seconds max – but the algorithm changes the color and decides the length of time. Ideally this would work in the gloom and a smaller circle (…dare to fail).

I’m a big fan of working the core. A strong core can help you avoid injury and strengthen your body as we age. If I were to have a platform in my role – #1 – emphasize core work. Normally “Mary” is reserved until the end and often neglected, so I put it in the warm-up this morning:

• Flutter Kicks – IC x 21
• Suitcase Crunch – SC x 15 (lay flat and fold your chest to your knees, go back to full hollow position – this is different than a Crunch Frog where you remain in “C-sit” only pulling your knees toward your chest)
• Elbow to Knee – SC x 15 (feet flat, knees bent – all lower abs to pull your knees to touch your knees)
• Knee to Elbow – SC x 15 (the reverse and a little easier – if you tighten your belly like your wading into the ocean on Labor Day morning – it helps to blow out just before you begin the crunch)
• Freddie Mercury – you’ve done these before – IC x 15
• Sandy V Oblique – newly created for this crew – how do you do it? Flat on your back, legs up, in a “V”, arms on head, elbows flexed – ready to move? Crunch 2 x left elbow toward left knee, return to starting position, then crunch right elbow toward right knee.  Admittedly , this is difficult to call cadence and I’m sure the PAX were challenged to follow along – however – it will work your obliques – I assure you.
• Corkscrew – IC x 15

Warm-up concluded and now for another challenge: count off into five groups. To make it easier, I purchased glow sticks in five different colors. Direction was to line up behind the leader who had a bigger glow stick (I know some of your delinquent minds are thinking of the Space Balls scene comparing “schwartz’s”). Line up for an Indian Run to the flag pole at the front of the park. As the last man makes his way to the front, take the baton (i.e. light stick) and hold until the next man arrives. It was a bit longer run, but there was a point to this exercise – more on that later. Getting over 50 guys to one spot took some time and I appreciate Freight leading more Mary and to several others for rounding in the six. We then recited the pledge.

Next on the list was a short mosey to the horse rink where we’d split into two partners. P1 would run two laps around the track while P2 used the concrete stands for the following circuits. A disclaimer was shared to modify as needed for either the run or the exercise parts.

• As Many Reps As Possible – AMRAP
  • Dips / Squats
  • Derkins / Imperial Walkers
  • Box Crunch (feet on bench at 90 degrees & crunch) / Glute Bridge (feet flat on bench and raise so only shoulders are touching)
  • Decline Peter Parker / Mtn Climbers

The runner is the “timer” so P1 does as many dips as they can until their arms gave out, then do as many squats until you can’t go any longer. Likely P2 relieved P1 before the second exercise exhausted. The point was to keep the heart rate elevated. Some of the teams were able to speed through a little faster so they rotated through again. Sargento was paired with Dr. Seuss and was in the lead group though I’m not sure he is the newest BFC member (Bat Flippers Club). Someone be sure to check his card at the door.

Time to mosey back to base where we gathered for a few concluding remarks and acknowledgements. We had an FNG – Donnie Wooten who spent time in the Navy and Air Force: welcome Beetle Bailey. Be on the lookout for a new AO on Friday mornings (0530) at Belmont Central Elementary School. New 3rd F Q Breaker Breaker took us out.

Moleskin:

Gathered at the flag pole, having saluted Old Glory the PAX were briefly quiet, even Tool Time. So I seized the opportunity reading the following verse:

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

The Indian Run (or in these politically correct times – Indian/Squaw Run…screw that, Core Principle #2 “Open to all Men”), so Indian Run it is…you know the drill: slow mosey with the last man picking up the pace to arrive at the front and rotating through with each person having a turn at the front. For this occasion, the leader is holding the aforementioned ‘bigger’ light stick. The newly arrived leader takes the baton/light.

This is what we are called to do being leaders within our homes, our communities, our workplaces, whenever and wherever we’re called to lead. In the back of the line, we’re in the dark and it takes a greater effort to reach the light – to lead, which we do before we in turn share the platform and return to follow once again. Life works in a similar manner. If you work to follow the path Jesus set, people around us will see our good works, deepening your faith. To me it is a lesson that compiles all three F’s. As we begin this year of 2021 hoping it is better than the trials of last year, we need to seek the light and the chance to lead. Thanks for providing faith to me as your First F Q. I appreciate the opportunity to lead today and in the year to come. Aye.

58 showed up, despite warnings from Gov. Cooper, for F3 Gastonia’s belated anniversary celebration. Shh don’t tell anyone. Most showed up for EC before. This is an indication of our growth in the 1stF! Broke reached out to many PAX to lead the convergence but most were out out of town or working so he ended up with Tooltime and I. TT reached out and said a guy named Frank Schwartz would be leading as well. My response was who is that and why. Apparently he’s a big deal or something.  I had to #look that up. I was told he had really good hair but I’ll be honest it was a little Trumpish for my taste. Anyway the clock struck 7 and we circled up in the parking lot. I lead things off with some planks and burpees to celebrate the people that are the  future and the foundation of F3 Gastonia. After that we hit what used to be the nicest soccer field in the world. It now looks like a cow pasture thanks to the 11’s we did. After 22 minutes of exercise I handed it over to TT for a lot of jogging and laying around. What can I say about the next 20 minutes? Quiche made sure everyone recognized his running status by getting way out front. TT was showing off his freshly shaved thighs. It’s a good thing Slaw wasn’t there. He would have put something on those long enough for TT to get used to it. There were some inappropriate exercises and facial expressions. It was discovered a lot of guys have issues with eye contact. After 20 minutes of downtime TT handed things over to Mr Schwartz. At this point I assumed the workout was basically over. I was mostly correct. There was about 5 minutes of work and 15 minutes of him talking. I wonder if he likes the sound of his voice? That would explain the podcast he does. At least that’s what I’m told. I’ve never heard of it. So what did he say? There was talk of pushing yourself and pushing beyond what you thought that was. He made us sprint to prove his point. Sprint? Really? That’s the best exercise you could come up with! At this point I was in the upper teens of a 5K everyday. I’m not sprinting squat you know what I mean. Anyway he was probably right. We mentally quit way before our bodies need too.  He would have likely had a better chance of impacting these guys if he would have spit more. Spitting, even without a dip in, is about as alpha male as it gets. I wish I could share more peoples experiences with you but due to Covid we were spread out to much.

After words we had some words from the first ever repeat Nantan, Def Leppard(2021) and some 3rdF from Sargento! I recommend joining Sargento’s prayer challenge. Prayer was my word last year and I do believe it brought me closer to God. How can it not? If you talk to someone everyday you’re bound too. Also men stepped up and donated almost 30 pairs of shoes to be taken to the Charlotte rescue mission. T-claps!

That’s about all I’ve got. It was a pretty underwhelming convergence. I mean we did have a record, I think, in attendence but the Q’s were what they were. On the upside we aren’t far away from the 6 year convergence so I’m sure we can do better.

F3 Gastonia announced the fourth quarter Convergence at The Fighting Yank with Roscoe and Short Sale tabbed to lead the PAX. As it would be a tag team affair, the theme would follow suit as the pair transformed into former Tag Team Champions “The Rockers” Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. Great effort was made to look the part as well as design a Weinke to execute a beat-down that would challenge the All-Star Battle Royale in downtown Belmont.

A chilly morning began with a number of PAX getting some extra credit while kit for the Pain Lab and the stage were formed. Linus kicked off the event a few minutes early–reading the Proclamation ahead of Veterans Day – more to come on that. With the circle formed and document read, John Williams orchestra masterpiece from 2001 A Space Odyssey began to thump over the speaker. The Nature Boy made this famous and as the self proclaimed World Universal Intercontinental Heavyweight Tag Team Champions of F3, your heroes crested the hill and ran into the squared circle to rousing applause and enthusiasm. Once in the ring and with all the excitement, Short Sale made a not so informative disclaimer. Seeing his partner in major trouble, Roscoe was frantically in their corner calling for a tag.  At the last possible moment before the match was called, Short Sale struggled to the corner and made a legal tag.  Roscoe came in with new energy and immediately initiated the warm up but would soon lose steam. Another exchange was made as would occur frequently during the workout. There were 45 men that experienced this live but you can read about it here:

Warm-up:

• Roscoe: SSH – IC x 20 (tag)
• Short Sale: 5 Burpees OYO (Tag)
• Roscoe: LBC’s IC x 15 (Tag)
• Short Sale: 5 Burpees OYO, Squats: IC x 10 (Tag)
• Roscoe: Merkins 15 IC

During the warm-up, we reviewed a few of the F3 principals (peer led, held outdoors – rain/shine, free of charge, open to all men, ends with a Circle of Trust). As HIPAA and Madoff were the first to answer, they received “flair” which were bright colored strips tied around their bicep. As any wrestling fan knows, “flair” is as important to the look as the hair, ripped physique, and a signature move. Your Tag Team Champions had plenty of flair – and shared often during the workout to reward great effort or in Sargento’s case as a consolation prize (in this era of everyone getting a participation trophy). If Sargento had gotten flair earlier it would have been removed for his odd mumble chatter today.

Thang:

Mosey to the Glenway Pub parking lot:

Short Sale instructed: Divide into teams of 5 for Four Corners, tag team version.

• Corner 1: Flying Squirrels
• Corner 2:Squats
• Corner 3: LBCs
• Corner 4: 4x4x4(4 reps of SSH, Merkins, Mtn Climbers)

Partners 1-4 begin at corner performing AMRAP of exercise. The timer is Partner 5, carrying a sandbag. Upon arrival, the partners tag in to carry the sandbag to the next corner. It was a little chaotic but there was no rest so the heart rate got going as did the mumble chatter. Plenty of flair was awarded for men pushing the rock.

Roscoe: Once sufficient effort and flair was handed out, Roscoe called for Omaha and the PAX followed back through the park to Belmont Middle School track.

THE HUMAN TORTURE RACK:

Partner up. P1 places P2 in the torture rack (Fireman’s Carry) and performs 10 squats, one spin, moseys to the other side of the track, 10 more squats.  Both partners then mosey to the next corner where P2 carries P1.  There was supposed to be a mandatory “WhoooooOO!” while doing this exercise but too much mumble chatter at the explanation caused this part to fail.  One lap of that and Roscoe was spent.  Somehow he struggled to jump from his knees to tag in Short Sale before collapsing in a pool of mud and sweat.

SHORT SALE then called for the ugly wench Dora.

Dora 1-2-3

Remain on the middle school field for yet another partner exercise. P1 performs the exercise; P2 runs the length of the field and returns to tag in. The first set was a challenge on the legs, the next for the arms and the last for the gut.

• 100 Jump lunges (50 each leg)
• 200 Merkins
• 300 Flutter Kicks

A train raced through on a nearby track. Dolph called the 5 burpee penalty – some followed suit, others ignored the challenge. This was a tough set at this point. We’d been pushed pretty hard with a lengthy mosey from the first thang to the second thang. There was a look of exasperation on many faces – but think of all the dramatic wrestling matches you’ve seen in your lifetime, when the good guy begins to re-gain his strength, pulling from deep within for the final push before making the pin. This was no different as the PAX pushed through toward the finish. Roscoe’s blond hair and sunglasses apparently reminded Def Leppard of his high school girlfriend.  Roscoe objected because he is no doubt better looking than Def Leppards high school girlfriend and even though he wrestles in the superheavyweight class no doubt weighed less than Leppard’s High School girlfriend.

Roscoe/Mary: At this point the PAX were called to plank up for the six and Roscoe asked for things we are grateful for.  Cornerstone’s daughter as a cancer survivor, All the PAX and F3 Nation, there were others….then Mosey to the fountain for Mary.  The Pain Lab moseyed over and joined in for the last bit of Mary which included Burpees, Dying Cockroaches, Squats,  and LBC’s before the tag team was counted out of the ring and Linus took back over for the closing ceremonies and Decision.

Linus called for all the veterans to come to the center of the ring. We had the Navy (Slaw), Marine Corps (Oompa Loompa), and the Air Force (Somebody) represented.  Each PAX was asked for who served in their family.  There were many fathers, uncles, grandfathers, and some grandmothers that served.  Thank you all!  Then Linus played the service Anthems for Army (merkins), Marines, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard. Our Veterans were granted immunity of the called exercise to observe the PAX doing merkins, burpees, jump squats, lbc’s, and Michael Phelps. During the merkins, Sister Act and Def Leppard had a posterior view of Short Sale, commenting how firm his glutes appeared in the tights, possibly accented by the jock strap. As a reward, someone may or may not have been tea-bagged during an impromptu monkey humper. The sights that eyes can never remove live forever.

At the end the moment everyone was waiting for. The Ring Announcer declared “The Rockers” the winners of the match and still Tag Team Champions of the World!

COT: Prayers of thanks for Cornerstone’s daughter that has survived cancer but he initiated a collection for Band-Aids noting his daughter and other survivors continue treatments and after each shot, they need a Band-Aid for the wound. You can contribute to this cause via this link: https://t.co/aUQk0GliWs   Pizza Man’s daughter is ill, prayers for her recovery. Pizza Man’s Grandmother and her new knee.

Announcements: Tomorrow is F3 Dad’s at Martha’s House at 3PM.  It will be a 2.0 friendly beatdown followed by some fellowship and games.  If you come, bring water, snacks, and Frisbees, volleyballs, footballs, and anything else you want to play with.  Remember, it is for the kids! (wink wink)

Christmas-town 5K is technically closed for registration but we’re pushing 8 chariots. Please come out and support and run without a bib if you want. The Christmas Party will be December 15th at Quiche’s new estate. Rumor has it that pets will be allowed?

We named 2 FNG’s today. FNG Sap was visiting from Greenville, SC. JK2 and his company had a conference this weekend that lured several F3 men from other regions to participate in our Convergence. Special recognition to Spackler, Hacksaw, and To-to (theirs not ours) to join our convergence. Broke and Slaw EH’ed Chris Shuford to our workout. He was raised in Belmont, working his first job at Chronicle Mill earning the F3 name Lint Head. Welcome gentlemen.

Moleskin:  Pizza Man asked Roscoe or Short Sale to Q this convergence a while ago thinking he would be out of town.  We liked the idea of the Co-Q so we went with a theme.  Linus has an idea to Q a themed Veteran’s Day tribute at the Gashouse so he just moved it over and incorporated it into the Convergence.  The Pain Lab went mobile again and Roadie upped the game with a huge tire flipping station.  This was followed by Freight and Tiger sharing good words and introducing a 40 Day Spiritual Challenge.  We also learned that Ricky is full of constructive sarcasm.  Freight also delivered water, coffee, and bananas.  A true #HIM!

F3 is a blessing when we can share in all three F’s in one morning. You can sense the joy in the group when we get together and the fellowship is strong.  Please don’t take it for granted and always look for ways to be a positive influence on your spouse, your children, your peers, and strangers.  We should always be looking to invite others into the ring.