Let’s get right to the point, our TAXES are out of hand!  We work, we get taxed.  We buy, we get taxed. We “own”, we get taxed.  And year after year “they” figure out how to Tax you some more.

To quote Benjamin Franklin:  “Our new Constitution is now established, everything seems to promise it will be durable; but, in this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes. ”

Tax Day Warm up:

15ic Side Straddle Hops / 15ic Imperial Walkers / 15ic Gravel Pickers / 15ic Plank Jacks

Tax Return is due… Pax drew one return from the tax return bag… Sadly they had to pay.  10 Burpees

The Thang:

Mosey to the park for a days work.  You know those days where your boss doesn’t make sense, but you have to do it anyway.  This was one of those days.  It wasn’t all bad we had our work and tax-day music playing.

Add It Up went something like this –

1 Burpee / 2 Monkey Humpers / 3 Plank Jacks / 4 Squats / 5 SSH / 6 Superman – Banana / 7 Box Cutters . 8 Jump Squats / 9 Merkin / 10 LBC / 11 American Hammers / 12 Flutters / 13 Imperial Walkers / 14 Freddie Mercs / 15 CDD / 16 J-Lo / 17 Mtn. Climbers / 18 Seal Jacks / 10 Apollo Ohnos / 20 Big Boys.

Tax Return Due… Another Pay.  5 Burpees.

The Pax had so much fun the first time an audible was called and we reversed our way back through the numbers 20-1.

Tax Return Due… WooHoo a Refund!  20 LBC

Mosey to the baseball fieldhouse and partner up for a round of DORA.  100 Merkin / 200 American Hammers / 300 Flutters while partner runs around the ball field.

Another Tax Return Due…A Refund again!  20 Morrocan Night Clubs.

And with that we headed back to the flag for some Mary.  Sadly the Qs audible caused us to run short on time and miss out on Bear Crawls and Jack Webbs and two more tax returns.  There is always next time.

A quick round of Mary and we stuck a fork in yet another Tax Day.

Announcements:  2ndF Lunch Wednesday. Goonie 5/4. Young Life Golf 5/13. Extinction Run 5/18.

Prayers:  Pax on IR, Traveling PAX, Anchorman, Huck, Turtleman, Gear Wrench.

And as Calvin Coolidge said it… “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.”

That sums it up right there.  Til next time!

BOS

So lifeline really has taken off as an AO and is actually developing its own “state of mind” if you will. Much like F3 is a culture (as opposed to a cult), Lifeline has rapidly established itself as a singular stop on the F3 Gastonia circuit. Do, Not. Miss. It!

All that said here’s what we did. Tesla thinking if you throw some weight, hill sprints and mumble chatter into one bottle and shake it up you probably have something worth keeping!

COP:

Easy mosey halfway around the church. Then:

20 SSH

20 IWs

20 Gravel pickers.

Mosey to the back and to the blocks:

Tesla Stretches

Mtn. Climbers X 20

Partner up for a DORA of sorts.

20 Blockies

40 OH presses

60 Curls

Partner 1 does the work. Partner 2 sprints the hill and back up to Cherri Berry’s house.

Around the back of the building for some ring of fire with blocks

Squats with weights X 20

Swings X 10

Dead lifts X 10

This was a failure but we did it. Feces happens.

Back to where we were and some REALLY fun work!

10 deadlifts – Run down to the drain and back up.

10 renegade rows each side – Run as above

10 squat thrusts – run as above

Repeat this 3X

Put the blocks up, mosey to the flag and hold a 3 minute plank

NMM:

Well, we did it all! Or all we could. Pushed weight. Ran hills. Talked shit. Out loud. And got. With. IT! What more could you aske for from a FREE men’s workout? Not much boys, not very damn much.

See you next week.

Tesla

Small group at Members Only this morning.

2 ruckers, 0 runners, and 2 stragglers.

Q Source was led by Pilgrims Progress and Tesla joined us.

Watts Up and I found a decent version of the new route that got us to 3.42 miles.

During a business trip to Chicago, I agreed to swap dates with Maybelline so he could “smartsack” for Ville to Ville.  A few stories from Thursday’s “Dip City / F3Chicago” workout gave me a good starting point for Friday’s Weinke. 

“Chick” got to know Slaughter – CEO of F3 Nation who Q’ed Downtown not too long ago – a few years back.  So, after the standard disclaimer, we got right to the point and kicked off with the “Slaughter Starter” – 20 burpees OYO.  This was an immediate crowd pleaser but effectively set the tone for the next 44.5 minutes of pain.  20 burpees behind us, next was a gem from “GTL” (named for the Jersey Shore reality TV star for those who remember that monstrosity of a show) called the Leprechaun.  In cadence, it’s hopping back and forth (not bending over), touching your hand to opposite toe.  Bedpan got a little excited and made this into a full-blown jig, so look for it to be repeated next time he Q’s at your local AO.

To move from Warmup to Thang, I organized a small tribute to the late OJ Simpson, the “OJ Mosey.”  One pax led with a slow Bronco pace while 2 single-file lines followed in Indian-run fashion, but the last pax in each line did one burpee before sprinting to the front (but still behind OJ – err, Pallbearer).  The slow-speed chase, I mean mosey, took us to the parking garage. 

To get to the top of the deck, we bear crawled up the ramps and nurred across the flats. At the top I called for some extra-dirty 11’s: Mike Tysons and Jungle Boys, with a Kraken burpee in the middle on every back-and-forth.  This was more taxing on the shoulders than I’d planned, but these HIM’s pushed through.  Some of us learned that Chicago is known as the “Windy City” not because of the wind, but because there are a lot of “windbag” politicians blowing hot air.   We also found out that the Chicago Hilton embosses its silverware (ask Bedpan how he knows). 

Going back down the parking deck, we carioca’ed both ways across the flat levels.  This took some time and a significant toll on hip flexors.  We then returned to the flag with another OJ procession, this time with Volt in the lead.  With 8 minutes left, we did calf raises (10xIC) on each step up to the pavilion then finished out with exactly one round of Mary and the pledge. 

Announcements = 2nd F lunch at Simonetti’s this Wednesday,  Goonies event 5/4, Extinction Run 5/18

Prayers = V2V runners, Purple Haze’s coworker Rory, Bo Thompson’s daughter, praise for Tube helping Hei Hei find an apartment

Thanks to the HIM’s who posted this morning – it was a pleasure to lead!

 – Nutria

Second rainy Wednesday in a row.  After a pretty standard warmup, I explained the simple format:  One pax rolled the die and chooses one of two exercises corresponding to the number rolled.  Exercises included perfect form merkins, burpees, Makhtar N’Diayes, American hammers, Star crunches, and more.  There was no counting – when someone said “enough” we stopped and moved on.  After everyone had a turn rolling the die, we ran a lap in the rain. 

Goose thought we did too many burpees; Tesla thought it wasn’t enough. Nobody thought we did too many Makhtar N’Diayes, and we didn’t get nearly as wet as we did the previous week during Cheesesteak’s waterlogged VQ.

Announcements:  2nd F lunch Apr 17th at Simonettis,  Goonies CSAUP 5/04,  Extinction run 5/18

Prayers:  Anchorman, Turtleman, Jane Fonda, marriages

Privileged to lead a small group of dedicated HIM’s.  From Slaughter, CEO of F3 Nation:  “If you’ve never been to a workout in the pouring rain, you’re missing out. It has healing powers”.

– Nutria