Pregame: If you watched UCONN win the National Championship Monday night or for that matter, any Final Four in the past 20 years, you may have recognized one of the scripts on the sideline “The Road Ends Here.” It serves as a statement for the journey of 68 teams trying to reach the pinnacle of college basketball. So too could that expression lend itself to 2023 F3 Gastonia’s March Madness Tournament. A brilliant idea that began as a gleam in Flintstone’s First F mind. As a fan of creativity, I applaud the concept, as did most of the PAX judging by the elevated attendance for each match up. Hat’s off to Flintstone. If you’ve been under a rock this version of a tournament came together after the PAX were surveyed to identify the top 8 Q’s. There was no specific criteria for voting. As Sister Act declared, it’s a popularity contest. Possibly, but judging by the contestants, the 8 men bring their brand of Q to each workout that may have separated themselves in some way. The order was: Freight, YHC, Sister Act, Roscoe, Broke, Whoopee, Balljoint, and Wirenut. Due to some scheduling conflicts, the matchups didn’t quite match up as they would in normal seeding. As the tournament progressed, it came down to #1 vs. #2 at Folsom on Aprils Fools Day. Here is a bit about how it went.
Gameday: Actually, Friday night before Gameday. As I knew I would be in NOGA where Freight returned after trying to live the uppity life in Belmont, I thought best to make an appearance at the Rusty Rabbit Happy Hour. It’s been quite a while since I even made it to the Belmont Bottoms Up and I’d never made it to Dallas. Time to press the flesh and maybe buy a vote or two. I walk in the door to see Freight had the same idea. The Mayor (who was hunting Saturday and not able to vote) along with Def Leppard. Gumby came along later. I bought a round anyway, even bought Freight a Leinenkugel (which maybe the Belmont hasn’t quite left him yet – I wonder if the barkeep at the Rabbit knew they even had that brand). We kept the conversation polite. Afterwards, I headed over to Folsom to do some reconnaissance.
Freight had selected to go first in his two matches, but as a bit of gamesmanship, he deferred to me on this morning. I sensed something and after some thought realized Folsom began at 0630. My workout would almost be entirely in the dark. Well played sir. Only I solved that problem with a generator and some floodlights, well sort of – to the best that I could get the lights to show. As I completed my set up Saturday morning I complimented my opponent on his strategy. Thankfully at Q-Source, we studied Jocko’s Extreme Ownership and Chapter 9 is Plan – very resourceful – I highly recommend it. As the clocked ticked toward 0630, I handed out F3 wristbands and placed stickers on the PAX so I could easily divide them into teams of 5 which was necessary for my workout. We had over 30 men arrive. Flintstone gave instructions and turned it over to me – no warm-up, let’s mosey.
First Half: we arrive in the traditional parking lot of Folsom by the tennis court and the soccer field. I stop at my generator to flip on the lights that spotlighted two rows of stakes with signs identifying exercises. Now for the challenge to explain to the herded cats. Everyone was split in teams of 5 which would align to the lanes I had established with 5 stations for each PAX to rotate through. My Q Fail was I didn’t identify the team’s sections which was made more complicated in the limited light. I did my best to place the groups at their spots and since we had 32, assigned me and another PAX to join a team and mirror someone. I of course mirrored Freight – best to keep a close eye and diffuse any mumble chatter. The stations were:
- Thrusters x 5 and Block Curls x 10
- Perfect Form HR Merkins x 5 and Big Boys x 10
- Murder Bunny 15 yds + 10 Hop Overs + Murder Bunny 15 yds to return (Timer)
- Jump Squats x 5 and Mahktar N’Diayes x 10
- Burpees x 5 and SSH x 10
Station 3 was the timer so however long it took that teammate to execute, Stations 1, 2, 4, & 5 would perform the 2 exercise set as many times as possible. Because the PAX enjoy competing, I bought a bunch of plastic Easter eggs to use as points. Every time a circuit was completed, the PAX tossed an egg in their team’s bucket. This was done to push all the PAX at all stations so they could hold up their end for the team. Standing around to catch your breath mean less eggs in the bucket, or so it was to be. Q Fail #2 – I should have bought more eggs (or devised a different scoring system). It was organized chaos, but I intended to begin with a difficult workout which was based on an Iron PAX version that I modified for this event. It was designed to test the men which it seemed to do. Team #4 was declared the winner.
After about 15 minutes, it was time to move on for Thang #2. Now I’d have to dig through some of my work notebooks to show you the time this idea formulated. Safe to say it’s been a year or so before the Pandemic or as all of us in F3 Gastonia recall the year Def Leppard tried to shut us down. But I digress…in the back of my work notebooks, when I get an idea for a workout, I sketch it out. I’ve waited for the right situation to break out the Tennis Workout. Today was the day. Simple, fun and effective. Write down an exercise or two on a ball. The ball gets smacked down the court, the PAX chase it and do a declared number of reps. They bring the ball back and have another one hit. Kind of like playing fetch with your dog. Originally, I wanted a tennis ball machine that would shoot out balls like a cannon, but I couldn’t find one to borrow. I recalled the PAX enjoyed my bartenders so much when I whooped SA with the Beer Workout, I invited Turtleman, Christine (his M) and Nancy (his neighbor) back for the main event. It helps Christine and Nancy are high level USTA players and they certainly look the part. After about 5 or 6 rounds of that, my time was done.
Second Half: Freight hurried the group back to the soccer field requesting each PAX grab a concrete block on their way. He had set up cones on the sideline and middle of the field width. I have to admit, pretty simple, but by this point, the sun was rising and he had plenty of light – who couldn’t do this? He gave instructions that each set would be timed and the penalty for be 1 burpee for each PAX that did not cross the finish line by the specified time. This would be tested quickly. The first set began with a murder bunny to midfield, leave the block, sprint to the other sideline and return in the time limit. Most made it and we may have had a 3 burpee penalty. I could take you through the remaining 13 rounds that were on the Weinke (loser shares their Weinke, winner writes the backblast, consider yourself lucky as an award winning Backblast writer – BAM! there’s another award Freight hasn’t won! – Freight better start picking up the 6). So, I’ll highlight a few details of this Q. Admittedly, we did some sprinting which does up the heart rate, but there were a whole lot of 10 counts, and I do mean a LOT! After a few of these rounds, this workout looked eerily similar to Freight’s first round match against Broke. Sure we did a few Murder Bunnys and some block work, but still had the same burpee per man penalty…doesn’t sound very creative to me. I will give it to Freight, next to Tool Time, Freight is the Prince of Mumble Chatter and my full intention was to give that chatter back as much as I could. So with a 10 count occurring after each return, seemed like a lot of standing around to me…I attempted to take over the Q. Freight quickly countered by shouting instructions and something about my portion being a FIA workout (note, the ladies were eye candy, not workout instructors or partners). One of the exercises, over 20 PAX missed the time requirement, so the Q quickly Omahaed dialing back from the 1 burpee per man to a static 10 count (don’t do it if you can’t Q it!). An exasperated Freight requested Slaw provide a German 10 Count. At this point it was fair to say Slaw was Co-Q-ing the workout. Most PAX, in particular Sparky were not abiding by Freight’s signal to drop the green flag, instead running well ahead of the word “Go” and no one, in particular Def Leppard participated in the burpee penalty. It got so disorderly Broke just up and left (he confessed he would have voted for me anyway). Most PAX were begging for something creative to happen but Slaw kept charging ahead with Freight’s Weinke. Finally, Father Time finally gained the advantage to call this segment and have us mosey back to the flag.
Postgame: At the circle, I took the opportunity to share refreshments with my brothers. Beer for those that wanted it and water for the rest. I also awarded Team 4 with Starbucks gift cards. Yes, votes can be bought. Now I knew I was up against a decidedly homefield advantage, but there were enough friendly faces that maybe would vote based upon effort or bribes. As the cards were distributed, Freight took an early lead. It did not look pretty for yours truly, but like election night, we know California is going blue, so let’s ride this thing out. About midway, I made some ground and then it got tight, like a pair of Sunday pants after Easter brunch. With only a few votes left, the card with “Murder Bunnies” was announced – Flintstone shuffled it to the bottom of the stack. A few more votes went my way and now we were dead even with the last remaining unnamed card. Flintstone said “someone needs to identify their vote…” A moment of silence as we waited and the former Nantan stepped forward and claimed the card, but now he had the deciding vote. The entire tournament champion rested in Sargento’s hands. Much like 1983 when Derek Whittenburg heaved up a shot toward the basket. Would this prayer be answered? Your damn right it was – BAM – just like Lorenzo Charles slammed home a Wolfpack win, baby! Finally, being part of the Wolfpack paid off. Thanks brother. Go Pack! We have a winner!
Announcements: Whitewater relay race – see Flintstone; Prayers: Ratchet’s 2.0, Flintstone’s father’s treatment, Huck, Turtleman, and others.
Moleskin: First, it’s an honor to be selected to compete in this event. Second, I appreciate all that particpated. Whether you voted for me or not, the size of the PAX and respect for each opponent certainly provided the challenge. If you’re still with me on this novel, I’ll share a truth. Freight may be #2 among the PAX but I voted Freight #1 on my ballot. I also had SA, Broke, Roscoe, and Whoopee listed as well. Obviously, I’m in a majority of PAX that agree those guys bring a solid Q and if I had more votes, Balljoint and Wirenut would be there too. All bring something different, and that is what make our brotherhood of Freed to Lead a great test of leadership. I’ll admit to being a bit of a Q snob, but when I see Freight’s name on the schedule, I try to attend as I know it will be a test. It may be one that I suffer through, but I know the workout was well planned. He was a worthy opponent. I think I enjoyed the gamesmanship as much as the event itself. I may have even planted a fake Weinke for him to find when cleaning out the van after the P200.
Work has been crazy busy as I’m part of a project implementation going in phases from now to July. If I wasn’t thinking about work or family, my mind was on each round of the workout. I know my stuff is complicated, but rest assured each element was thought through. I appreciate the grace of you guys to entertain my type of workout whether it’s in this format or just a regular gloomy morning. Hopefully in due time you’ll think back on this one for the tennis ball or maybe the easter egg scoring system – if it left an impression (and some soreness) then I did my job.
There is no way I could have done this on my own. I had plenty of input from friends that gave solid advice. They know who they are. I also need to thank Turtleman, his M Christine and Nancy who were happy to participate in two of my Q’s. (For those curious, Christine is the blonde and Nancy is the tall one). Let me know if I need to recruit them for a future event. A handful of guys stuck around to clear the field and Ash Pond helped me return the blocks. Thanks to all of you that helped.
Finally, I’ve reached the End of the Road. It’s a good thing because I’m not sure what tricks I had for another workout. Hell, who are we kidding? I’ll come up with something, Until the next time, thanks for allowing me to lead.
Short Sale