Author: Short Sale (Page 19 of 20)

Boot camp workouts are predicated on “muscle confusion” and since each Q designs their own workout there isn’t a grand plan with alternating focus on the various muscle groups. Each workout has its own tempo and identity. Gastone is the new CEO of Martha’s House and has brought a new energy to the venue, constant energy seems more appropriate. I offered to fill the open Q slot and went to the drafting table, determined the session would go at a pace respectful to our new leader. Little did I expect to get pre-workout mumble chatter based on my pre-blast tweet declaring “no running.” How do you like that? Like a stubborn teenager avoiding authority, I became more convinced my plan was correct. I had 11 PAX to be the judge. Stroganoff shares insightful leadership quotes and the one I found to fit this situation is attributed to Socrates (or So-cratz according to Bill in the most excellent film: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure): “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

Approaching our launch time, there was a larger than normal group stretching and moving around the damp parking lot. Freshly named Stone Cold quickly made it to post #2 having made his debut four days prior; a good sign as our region grows with additional #HIMs. As the circle began to form, Gastone noticed two men in the distance of Martha River’s parking lot. His F3 senses kicked in and he was off to check if they might be FNG’s. A minute later we were introduced to Bounty and Nunchuck, on their own nomadic venture from their home AO of Rock Hill, SC. We exchanged introductions, quickly realizing their F3 birth names were much tougher than ours as we offered a “Whoopee” and a “Stroganoff” among others. We definitely lose the name game, but could we bring the heat in the workout? Let’s find out….

Warm-up

• Seal Jack IC x 10
• Don Quixote IC x 10
• Toy Soldier IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge IC x 10

Mosey to the bank across the street for the Pledge. We then moseyed 20 yards to the rear of the building and that was all the moseying we were going to do. Mumble chatter ensued. Instructions were provided, disclaimer re-stated – modify as necessary, go at your own pace. There would be 6 sets of 5 exercises timed at 30 seconds with a 10 second rest. Any PAX having completed an Insanity DVD will recognize some of the exercises that do not have an F3 brand affixed to them.

1. Set 1
   1. SSH
   2. Merkin
   3. Squat
   4. Flutter Kick
   5. Freddie Mercury
2. Set 2
   1. Burpee
   2. LBC’s
   3. Side Straddle Squats
   4. Jingle Balls
   5. High Knee Twist
3. Set 3
   1. Burp to Lunge
   2. Dips
   3. Diamond Merkin
   4. Shoulder tap w/Plank Jack
   5. Cross Jack
4. Set 4
   1. Merkin Jack
   2. Bobby Hurley
   3. Crunchy Frog
   4. Box Cutter
   5. Iron Legs
5. Set 5
   1. WWI Sit Ups
   2. Pike Ups
   3. Pretzel Crunch Right
   4. Pretzel Crunch Left
   5. Spiderman Merkin
6. Set 6
   1. X Crunch
   2. Plank to Squat
   3. Prison Cell Merkin
   4. Hook Lunge
   5. Ski Burps

Like any of these ambitious sets that are timed, the set-up and rest periods to catch the PAX breath encroaches the dedicated 45 minutes of the weekly workout. We made it through all six sets one time but only halfway on the second go around. We moseyed back to the start for one minute of Mary: Hillbillies IC x 15 and Imperial Walker IC x 5 before time expired. Good work by all the PAX to push through. Tabata sets are always a You vs. You. The group setting provides the background noise even though George Strait didn’t make the playlist (next time Whoopee – I promise). But in this setting it’s your gloved hands pushing against the rock, trying to get a little better than before.

Thanks to Bounty and Nunchuck for joining us this morning. Hope you will come again when we make a broader tour of the AO. We shared announcements about our upcoming Convergence at the GasHouse Saturday am. Bring an item or two off the list to support Operation Sweet Tooth. Monk shared his new plan to post a bible passage that can be the basis for the Third F at Panera or any time at your leisure. Finally Whoopee needs a head count for PAX and M’s attending the After Christmas Party January 7^th. There is no truth to the rumor that his M will do a burpee for every female in attendance.

Thanks for the opportunity to follow my lead, even if you didn’t get to run.

In preparation to Q the workout before Thanksgiving, I read the average American consumes 4,500 calories at the traditional Thanksgiving feast. That doesn’t include the snacking and round II that comes a few hours later. To burn that off, you would have to do burpees for nearly 8 hours. That’s a lot of damn burpees – even for Dolph. Maybe I could build a Weinke that can at least allow a few extra bites of tasty food. After all, this only comes once a year.

I missed my 4:50 am wake-up call. I could blame technology or the programmer of said alarm clock. Many thanks to my lovely M for the wake-up call at 5:07 am when she nudged me (no, not in the good way) to say “aren’t you leading that work-out thing this morning?” Faster than Clark Kent could enter a phone booth, I began to add the layers necessary for the 31 degree temperature that awaited outside my door. Thankfully I had enough sense to load the coupons into my car the night before. Up, up and away, I went, arriving hot to see five other idiots leapt from their fart-sacks for a three course meal of calorie burn – as had been advertised in the pre-tweet. No FNG’s but the quick disclaimer was stated – you’re an idiot for being here, let’s all be idiots together…

Warm-up

• Toy Soldier IC x 10
• Don Quixote IC x 10
• Grass Picker IC x 10 (Whoopee gets an F for not participating)
• Merkin IC x 10

 Pledge

Thang

                 Taking a right out of the parking lot, we lined up for an Indian Run. You might think that theme links in with Thanksgiving but there was another attempted symbolism that you can read below. So, the Indian Run instructions were “line up behind me and as you arrive at the front of the line, take the flashlight from the leader. Various forms of ‘leadership’ were observed. Stroganoff got all “Whoopee-like”, in my face, Gastone quickened the pace, and Whoopee ran in unique patterns, daring us to chase him. We lasted a few rounds before we took a break of “7’s” using the curb for Derkins and Dips. Plank for the 6…start Indian Run up the hill to arrive at the Dollar Store parking lot. Need to complete another round of 7’s sticking with Derkins and Dips.

Once complete – group mosey toward our vacant grocery store for the Second Course. Tucked within the old shopping cart vestibule, the coupon fairy had made a few deposits among four stations.

• Station A:

• High Plank – rotate lifting water jugs to a bench (20 total)
• Rocky Balboa – extend arms and hold sand filled pvc pipe (20 each leg)
• Plank to Squat (15)
• Bobby Hurley – with 10 lb medicine ball (15)
• Run 50 yards to end of parking lot and return to station B
• Station B
• Block Webbs – Merkin, then press a half block (10)
• Squats – hold half block (20)
• Curls -big boy cinder block (20)
• Moroccan Night Clubs – hold 10 lb dumbbell (20)
• Run 50 yards to end of parking lot and return to station C

• Station C
• Hip Slappers (10 each side)
• Blockies – big boy block (5)
• Lunge – hold water jugs (20 each side)
• Merkins (20)
• Run 50 yards to end of parking lot and return to station D

• Station D
• Flutter Kicks – hold sand filled pvc pipe to keep the arms engaged (20 each leg)
• Donkey Kicks (20)
• Dying Cockroach – with bricks (20)
• Crunchy Frog – with bricks (20)
• Run 50 yards to end of parking lot and return to station A

During one of the first stations, Whoopee injured his calf muscle. I thought he was going to head home, I believe he was headed that way too. But after a few stretches and walking off the pain, he was back in the ring – to fight through the end. Those are the kind of nagging things that would have a single man workout hitting the power button and turning the lights off. We would have understood had that been the case, but I believe the effort of the group caused another swell for Whoopee to ride out the wave. Everyone was giving their best effort. Great job by all the PAX.

The third course was going to be a fun task of suicides and side-straddle-hops but to avoid further injury and with less than 10 minutes to go, YHC decided to save that for a future Q. With the time, I dug back to a work-out from a few months ago led by CSPAN where he said “go pick your least favorite exercise and give it your best effort to conquer it…” or something like that. The six of us spread among the various exercises and went after it getting a few more rounds and one more run before it was time to return to the AO. Where we had a little more than a minute. I could see Mary’s fat ass standing at the sno-cone counter with her arms folded. I shut her up with LBC’s and Freddie Mercury.

Moleskin

As the PAX heart rate’s cooled down I shared a mini Third-F which had been jingling in my mind after Monk’s lesson Saturday where he was reading from the book of 1st John. One of the verses we discussed stated “God is light and in him is no darkness at all.” As I wrestled with the message, something sparked for the Indian Run to begin our workout. As each leader of the line held the flashlight, handing it off to the next man, the symbolism is sometimes we carry the light – God’s light – to shine it before others and to lead them. But then quickly we are out of control and we are in the middle of the pack, sometimes falling to the back, but in this instance, we are always following the light (even when Whoopee is running in circles). The run from the back to the front is the most challenging task and takes the most effort to become the leader, even for a short time. The hope is we all stick with the task to follow the light, weather out in front or trying to get there.

With that said, I shared more of God’s word. 2 Corinthians 4:6 – ‘For God who said “Let your light shine out of darkness,” he made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.’ And another passage from Matthew 5:16 – ‘In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.’

We lifted prayers for Dr. Feelgood’s mother and some friends of Easy Rider as well as the little girl that lost her young life, giving in to the grips of suicide. At a time where we are thankful for many blessings that we have families and friends within warm places and tables of food. We can also be thankful for the gloom where F3 brothers gather to push the rock another day. Fortunate to lead and be with a fun group of men.

Okay, so like, you guys are so, so mean. I mean really mean to me and all my sisters. At the end of all your little workouts is supposed to be my time – you know Mary! But you always spend all your precious workouts doing the thang and lately I’m not even getting one minute, let alone six. The only one that seems to love me is Tool Time and honestly he freaks me out a little. But he does love a good core work and at this point I’ll take what I can get. But for all you other meanies, you better not forget about me and my sisters at Alpha Beta Sigma. We might not be as pretty as the Betas (burpee) or sexy as the Mu’s (merkins) but we are the ones that will shape up those nasty beer bellies of yours so you better pay us attention.

Hugs – Mary, ABS Athletic Director

Warm-Up

• Imperial Walker IC x 10
• LBC’s IC x 10
• American Hammer IC x 10
• Merkin IC x 10

Pledge

We moseyed into the dark of morning along Neal Hawkins at a moderate pace. Odd how only a few weeks ago this time of day was a sauna and now we have to add layers and see the huffs from our gasps evaporate as we blazed a trail toward the baseball field concession stand. YHC provided a quick demo of the five core exercises in the set:

• Homer/Marge/Reach for Maggie
• Flutter Kicks IC x 20
• Dry Dock Crabs IC x 20
• Freddie Mercury IC x 20
• Burpees OYO x 10
• Run to the end of the sidewalk and return.

As I stated in the brief disclaimer before the warm-up, I’m not expert, just an idiot with some suggestions; but in my experience, the key to good core burn is changing the positions from back to plank to six, all with different exercises. Today’s workout was designed to do that. I added the “reach for Maggie” that while the PAX legs are vertical, take both hands to reach toward your toes. The third one was swiped off the new exercise list and I encourage you to give it a try and include in your next Q. Get in CDD position. First count is to exchange positions of your right hand and left foot, so they cross in the middle; return to position is two; third had left hand and right foot exchange positions, then returning for the first rep. See how many reps you can do before the burn spreads like a bad diablo sammich. The mumble chatter started, happily hearing more groans when burpees were announced. They are always a crowd favorite. We went for another round with 5 less reps of flutters and 10 less reps of dry dock crabs.

Mosey to Field 4 and one thing was clear it is dark as a monkey’s ass on that side of the AO. It’s also wet. QIC made a mental note for future sessions to stay toward the light. So we managed to run the Four Corners with more ab work. We went two rounds. We did Knee Taps in standard plank due to the wet ground. Probably should have increased the reps to get more burn – Mary was shaking her head saying “wussies.”

1. Plank-jacks x 10
2. Crunchy frog x 15
3. Burps x 20
4. Knee taps x 25

We migrated toward the hill with intentions to use it in the running portion of Dora 1-2-3. The jagged terrain of the hill is bad enough if you can see it. Our problem was we couldn’t see anything and YHC quickly Omahaed, opting for a run to the far light pole and back. We split nicely into three groups and did an aggregate of:

• Merkins x 60
• WW I Sit Ups x 90 (fun in the cold, wet grass)
• Jingle Balls x 120

Once completed my watch said 6:13. I checked my Weinke and sighed that my last pain station of six more core challenges at the picnic shelter would not be achieved on this effort, even though the PAX might have been willing. I pictured Mary, arms folded, shaking her head. So I didn’t get to put the cream on top of the cake. But just like my senior prom date said, ‘next time, we’ll go all the way, I promise;)’

We moseyed toward the snowcone palace, breaking the lengthy return with 10 LBD’s IC along the curb.

Announcements: CSAUP November 11-12; CSAUP T-shirts available via MudGear until 10/19.

Prayer Requests: Praise for Sledg-o-matic’s father’s successful surgery; we lifted up Easy Rider’s aunt that recently passed; Also Easy Rider’s friend’s daughter – Trinity fighting cancer.

Moleskin:

If your reading to this point, you either skipped ahead to the workout or indulged my “story” about Mary’s lack of attention. It was a fun workout to attack our cores the entire time which went by way to fast. It won’t be too long before Mary is Pissed Again finds its way to an edited Weinke. It was a good group that pushed through. Sledge-o-matic is becoming a regular at multiple venues. Linus made a mid-week return. I have heard some preliminary plans for his upcoming GasHouse Q on 10/29 – that will be one you will not want to miss. Make sure to keep Mary on your good side – she can be a bee-atch if she doesn’t get any love.

Nearly all Americans at one time or another have gathered around a picnic table for a celebration of some sort. Maybe a birthday party or a outdoor barbeque. Usually joyous occasions. However for the 12 men completing this morning’s beat down, the next time someone announces ‘meet at the picnic tables…’ there could be a slight bit of trepidation.

As the circle formed I noticed a new face and introduced myself to meet Bubba Shiles. A bit unusual I thought that an F3 man is combining their workout name and their last name but I let it go and moved around to greet some of the others. Overhearing another introduction I realized there was an FNG in our midst. “How did you hear about coming out?” I asked to which Bubba replied, “Vinnie Cherry.” I surveyed the group at 5:28 am and Sargento was not present, but wait – I saw headlights of a Honda Accord coming in hot. The excuse? An act of nature and we’ll leave it at that. Time to go, slowly speaking through the disclaimer to make sure all heard today’s workout is “you versus you.”

Warm-Up

• Don Quixote IC x 10
• Mountain Climbers IC x 10
• Seal Jacks IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge IC x 10

Pledge

Time to mosey…headed toward Martha Rivers the long way along Neal Hawkins Road. As we near the turn I hear a crash: “Man down! Man down!” I turn to find Squeeker the victim of a sinister ledge on the sidewalk. He rises, dusts himself off and declares himself ready to go. We continue, though I turned earlier than planned, taking a longer route to the first stop. I heard a little chatter about the Q not having a clue where I was going. YHC knew where he was going, just wasn’t sure how to get there (there is probably a country song about that I’m sure).

The Thang

Arriving at the picnic tables behind the playground near to Field 4. The beat down is announced. Using the tables for each exercise, the timer is set for 30 seconds of each exercise with a 10 second rest between. A total of 3 circuits:

1) Step-up Right Leg; 2) Step-up Left Leg; 3) Derkins (w/ feet on bench); 4) Peter/Parker/Peter (hands on bench)

A scenic mosey to picnic area #2 near the bathrooms. YHC offered one tip swiped from professionals – “when you lunge, don’t let your knee get ahead of your toe.” As I went to start the timer I realized my sweat soaked glove couldn’t unlock my phone. Removing the glove, I quickly realized my sweat soaked finger couldn’t do much better. Bandit offered to help but I was a little skeptical for Bandit to handle my weinke – especially after he flashed a wonke last Friday morning at the Downtown workout. Allow me to pull your mind from the gutter and quickly move ahead. On my own, I finally was able to dry my finger for a swipe of my phone (I’m sure the iPhone 12.0 will solve the sweaty finger problem in the near future). Again, Set #2 was 3 circuits of 30 second exercise and 10 second rest:

1) Lunge w/ right leg on bench; 2) Dips; 3) Lunge w/ left leg on bench; 4) Incline Merkins

Running short on time, better hustle to the final destination: picnic shelter near the volleyball court. I anticipated this and designed the final set to be mostly ab flavored exercises. We did 2 circuits of 30 second exercise and 10 second rest:

1) Rainbow Abs (seated windshield wipers – keep legs together and lift as high as you can left/right); 2) Bench Burps; 3) Flutter Kicks; 4) Decline Peter Parkers (this is a good one for upper abs).

Mosey home…circled for announcements: Derecho needs volunteer Q’s – see Defib; Brownstreak invited all to the Goat on 7/28 for his Christmas in July beat down; Bandit is taking up money for various causes – bring some cash and he’ll take care of it. Prayer requests: T-Square, Godfather, and Stroganoff for their loved ones; Safe travels for FUMC youth on mission trip to Boston, Brownstreak’s son heading to Romania, and FNG Bacon’s son sailing with the boy scouts in Florida Keys. By this point Squeeker’s knee was gushing, a nice battle wound that hopefully will heal quickly – way to push through it. FNG time: we welcomed Bubba Shiles to the fold. A home grown boy from Bessemer City, completing service with the Marines (Respect) and in the construction/remodeling business has a wife and two kids. He is a fit 51 year old (more Respect) that cycles, runs and trains will forever be known among F3 as Bacon.

Moleskin:

There was not a lot of mumble chatter among the PAX. At the first picnic table station I offered the challenge for each circuit to be “you versus you” and could be covered in one of two ways. Either max out and set the bar high the first round, pushing to reach it on the next two. Or raise the bar after each circuit trying to set a max you didn’t think possible. You never know until you try. The hardest part is showing up. I was proud to be with 11 other men that dug deep to enjoy the picnic. Aye!