Blood Everywhere

Good crowd this am-little mumble chatter, lot of work, and then there was blood…..keep reading.

We started with a simple disclaimer…because that is what we do. We all claim to be idiots…..and we are not wrong. However………I’m not sure what point I was going to make so maybe I’ll just stop there. As I am not very fond of warmups, I kept it short this am. We did some SSH, flutter kicks, then Merkins and then took off like a flash…..and then stopped quickly for the Pledge. Then we took off like a flash…..again, heading for “the hill” (insert threatening music:da da daaaaaaa). On the way there we may have done some plank or other exercises just to keep the group together. Upon arrival to “the hill” (again, insert threatening music: da da daaaaaaaa), instructions were given to partner up, but keep some distance. We would start at the bottom and P1 would run to mailbox #1, do 10 Merkins then run back to start. P2 would be doing AMRAP any ab exercise until P1 returned at which time they would swap duties (not doodies, remember-keep your distance). We would escalate to 20 Merkins, then 30 Merkins and then after Defib agreed with an evil smile (again, threatening music: da da daaaaaaa), we did 40 Merkins. There were some complimentary phrases that were spoken about the Q (aka: me) during this time, but I’ll keep those to myself as this is a “family show” right?

After completing the above fun stuff, we moseyed back to start with some plank and jump squats along the way. When we got back to start I asked Easy Rider (I think) to pick a spot on the wall, any wall, at Pelicans. We kept our partners, and P1 stayed at the wall. Somehow we picked Gastone’s name for the car part of this and the exercise was for P1 to do AMRAP HIP SCHLAPPERS (all caps means you have to YELL that while you are reading-tell your M I said your welcome if she gives you grief for this while you are reading this now) while P2 bear crawls to Gastone’s Prius (he lost his man card and now drives his sister’s Prius) then mosey back. It was at about 3 HIP SCHLAPPERS that I heard TSquare scream like someone was pulling his toenail’s off. It was awful. I looked up as I heard something about “ketchup” to see TSquare tilt his head back while this red stuff was spraying out of his face covering everyone in sight with blood. Stroganoff fainted and Gastone started doing mouth to mouth on him. Defib jumped into action and did chest compressions on Dry Rub, although Dry Rub was not really having any problems at all. I think Defib’s reflexes just kicked in and he felt like he needed to do something. There was too much blood to get close to TSquare. Outhouse took off running with Time Frame into the woods. I think the blood made them nauseated. They came back a little while later once the bleeding had stopped.  Easy Rider, Watts Up, and Steubing kept on hip schlapping like there was nothing going on at all. Finally the bleeding stopped when TSquare shoved half a towel up his nose-it looked painful but got the job done. So much for schlappers……TSquare is not allowed to do those any more.

We moseyed to Clavin’s hill in the park next. At the bottom we did 5 Merkins then climbed the hill and did 10 Mountain Climbers then back to start. After 5 more Merkins we went up for 20 Mountain Climbers. We repeated this for I think 30 then 40 Mountain Climbers with 5 Merkins between each set. I think we did more mountain climbers but can’t remember how many-seems like it was a lot. My stomach was still a little upset about what happened with the Hip Schlappers, TSquare’s nosebleed, and the interaction (pick whatever one you want) that happened in the parking lot. I really just wanted to get away from these guys at this point so I started to run…but they kept following me…..all the way to the picnic tables. We passed Stroganoff’s mom and aunt. I made sure they knew some dude named Steven Long was my hero. Mom’s like that kind of stuff….even when it’s not true (especially when it’s not true). Mom’s often know they have a loser for a son but for a fleeting moment they can smile and live in that fantasy world that makes them think their son is something special…..not that this was one of those times though (wink wink).

At the tables we did some step ups and Derkins until Defib picked the right number. We moseyed back to start with some jump squats along the way then finished with the COT.

We had a quick namorama, prayer for family members of PAX and several PAX as well, and then took off. Not sure, but I think there was some ketchup on the wall. Hopefully it will rain soon.

Whoopee