The Eye of the Flamingo

Folsom: The sun rises with new hope greeting the dawn, as the full moon resplendent in glory descends beyond the horizon. Breathing in the fresh morning air, two plastic flamingos stand motionless delighted to have been rescued from the Dollar Tree just the night before.

As the flamingos survey the scene, they are surrounded by a crop-circle-like array of traffic cones. Beyond the glistening field lies a parking lot that is slowly filling with vehicles, mainly trucks. As the crowd swelled to 25 they thought of flying away, but alas, their design would not allow movement, and they had an existential crisis concerning their purpose in life. Stuck in the ground by their wire legs, they were forced to watch as the herd moved closer after a pledge to a flag stuck in a shovel.

After a warm-up of Cherry Pickers, Windmills, Burpees, and a jog, the giants surrounded the defenseless flamingos for four rounds of Menagerie Mayhem Whirl. This routine was made up by Loveboat because there were not enough crazy-sounding routines in the lexicon (sarcasm intended). This involved a smattering of animal-themed exercises. Starting outside of the large circle- bear crawl to the center, Zebra Kicks, then crab crawl out and run around the outer ring. Rinse and repeat while adding a new exercise each time you get to the middle (Monkey Humpers, Crab Cakes). Some animal noises were heard, and the flamingos thought they had been taken to the San Diego Zoo. 

After a much deserved 3-second break, it was down to the cool wet grass for some R & R; Supermans, Scorpions, Y Supermans, then up for some Defensive Shuffles, and Merkins. Since everyone was having such a good time, we added some running, Duck Duck Goose style. Half the group would run a lap as the other half did an exercise and then switched. A sampling of activities during the time (to experience full list you had to be present): Ballerina Squats, Lunges, American Hammers, Shoulder Presses, & Burpees.

Looking like the most unfair game of Red Rover ever the Q vs everyone else on the line for some Jog/Sprint/Back. A whistle for jog, second whistle for sprint, third whistle for jog,… ad nauseam. When you hit the end, you jog backward (or whatever made-up name you call running backward) until the whistle blows again. We wrapped up when there was talk of forcing the Q to swallow his own whistle and he feared for his safety (safety 3rd!).

Then it was back to some good ole fashion circle time, but this time without the flamingos. I know at this point in the recounting you were worried about those flamingos. That is so kind of you to care, don’t worry, they had been moved to safety as to not be trampled during the Jog/Sprint/Back. This lovely circle time did not serve tea and crumpets but served up Mike Tysons, Burpees, Peter Parker Merkins, LB Flutter Kicks, and several other delightful activities hand-selected by members of the group to the sheer delight of all. 

Time was slipping away, so we opted for a memorable mosey jog around Folsom, ending with some Sprinklers, Grass Grabbers, and several other stretches. The sands of the hourglass were all but settled. But we had the task before us, to name an FNG. Gabriel, you will henceforth be known as Big Unit, the tribe has spoken.

The sweat-drenched circle of clothes stood as a testament to the work put in. Great job, Men!

On a note of more importance that dollar store flamingos…In the thought for the day, I shared how I am overwhelmed by the division and injustice in our country. We can politicize it, we can focus on the lawbreakers instead of the oppressed, we can soothe ourselves with how non-racist we are, we can convince ourselves that as long as it does not affect us personally, it does not require action. But there comes a point at which all of these things are just excuses.

I know this is a very sensitive topic, and I am not preaching to anyone. But I know for me I need to change, I need to back my ideals with actions. I need to weed out the thoughts in my own mind that are prejudiced and quick to judge. Those thoughts that tell me if two stories conflict, then I should believe one over the other.  And I need to listen more to experiences that are not my own.

While in prison in Birmingham, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote, “I am coming to feel that the people of ill will have used time much much more effectively than the people of good will.” I believe that is as true today as it was when it was written. It is easy to look back at history and say, how could people allow this horrible thing or that terrible thing to happen. But  I wonder, what will future generations think of me and my actions or lack of thereof? 

May we be defined not by what we hate, but what we love. 

May history look back on those of us in this circle as those that chose to love. 

May our love lead us to action.

May our actions be those of love that reach out to those in need and stand for justice.

-Love Boat