Backwoods Brawl Backblast

I will start this back blast by thanking my Brother in Law and sister for the wonderful hospitality and generosity during the Backwoods Brawl.  You see, Whoopee informed us early in the day that Boss Hogg’s M is named LuLu COLTRANE Hogg, which means that Lulu is my sister and Boss Hogg is my brother in law (no not really, but we played them on TV).  Thanks to Whoopee for reuniting family members.  Yet another reason he is the undisputed Nantan of the Gashouse.

I started the day by heading to the Parking AO and dropped off a clipboard with copies of the disclaimer.  Disclaimers were very important for the Backwoods Brawl because no one wants to be sued if someone got injured or seriously killed.  I duct taped an F3 sticker to a piece of cardboard and put it on a stake at the road to mark the turn in spot for the clown cars and a Backwoods Brawl sign directional poster inside the gate and headed to the Farm an hour and a half ahead of the launch.  (If you know what happened to the stakes I used out there let me know.  They disappeared and they belong to Short Sale’s daughter)

Bandit, Whoopee, and Stroganoff showed up early to help set up the course and the coffeerama.  Boss Hogg got the UTV out for me and I picked up Stroganoff and headed out to put up the signage in the gloom.  A few creek crossings and some trails in the dark was a great way for Stroganoff to start his day.  He said it was like a ride at Disney. (Editor’s note: it was not Space Mountain)

We returned to base and the Clown Cars arrived.  We circled up and Boss Hogg gave us a history of the property and I gave the Nantan a few minutes to address the PAX before we started with the warm up.  Now keep in mind we were hearing Rooster’s crowing, goats bleating, and dogs barking.  We started with the SSH.  Some of the dogs were surrounded in the circle prior to the jumping jacks and when we started they gave some seriously puzzled looks like “what in the wide, wide worlds of sports are you guys doing?”  Next we paid tribute to the mountain we were on with some Appalachian Americans (Hillbillies), Merkins, and a few more but I was ready to go so we set off to the Wagon Trail.  The beauty of the trails at that hour with the sun coming up was the start of a great F3 experience.

After the wagon trail we arrived at the pond for the first pain and faith station and Monk began with a strong faith Q.  Monk has a lot going on with work so Tclaps for showing up and leading and also for reciting Psalms 8 from memory as part of his Q.  Because Monk needed to leave I switched him to the first Faith Q and totally forgot to plug T-Square in to a later faith session. Super large fail on YHC part and I have asked for and received forgiveness.  Be on the lookout for T-Square sharing the lesson at a future F3 event.  Monk turned it over to Whoopee who started with the pain.

Whoopee began with two lines of group hip slappers, now known as Hip Slapper Wall of Thermopylae.  This was supposed to be done with  P1 holding one leg of P2 and one leg of P3 and so on down the line.  Somehow my partner Pizza Man didn’t have anyone to hold his other leg even though we weren’t on the end so he did “Scorpion hip slappers”.  When it was my turn I was getting it done until my left hand slipped and rubbed against a big piece of mud which covered my left glove.  I then used said glove to give Whoopee a quick “good hustle” encouragement slap to the bum and then we lined up for SHEHATEME across the field.  Ten lunge walk steps each leg, ten merkins, ten burps, three burpee long jumps, and repeado to the end.  We then did the second set of hip slappers that Whoopee deemed effeminate looking so now they will be called “Progressive” hip slappers    where P1 held P2’s feet only.  “Wolverine’s boy” Einstein, as T-Square calls him, broke out a drone and did some photography work along with Squirt who was on the IR and got to ride the four wheeler around and take pictures.  Thanks for them both for documenting the event.

We finished Pain #1 and moseyed at a fellowship pace along the beach trail to pain station 2 at the beach.  Stroganoff had a laminated Weinke and a great leadership lesson on going “all in” in our relationships.   “I believe real leadership is being all in, all the time.  The greatest leader of all time did not scream the loudest but instead was a servant who led by teaching, acting and mentoring.  He was all in like no one else before him.”  Some unnamed PAX inadvertently forgot his filter and introduced a new term “SV” to describe when a man whines about little things.  Possible introduction in the lexicon?  Doubtful…it is NSFW.  “SV” became a popular term the rest of the day.  Stroganoff’s Weinke also included a beat down of Mary.  It was a great series of ab work including LBC’s, Freddy Mercury’s, Homer/Marge, Flutter Kicks, Dying Cockroaches, and Russian Twists.  There were lots of groans from the PAX and even from Stroganoff who did a great job of counting while burning us out.  Even with the pain I remember thinking how peaceful it was lying on a beach beside a wide creek under a clear blue sky.  Then my sandy shoes went up above my head and it started raining sand in my face.

Next we took turns crossing the rope bridge and a quick trail run along the creek and then did a few exercises in cadence.  YHC was supposed to mandate a very long partner carry/wheelbarrow/lunge walk series but audibled due to terrain.  Instead we did a quick plank series before moseying at a “fellowship pace” to the crossroads for a water break.  The Tink trail led us across a creek which some decided to wade across and then on to Bandit’s faith and pain station at the Cemetery.  Bandit gave a great lesson on the parable of pushing the rock and what F3 has meant to him.  Everyone was feeling good about themselves until Bandit announced the Thang of pain station #3.  Elevens with Dying cockroaches up top and then run down an extremely steep hill along the power line for SSH. There was lots of mumble chatter but mainly determination and encouragement.  Einstein had the drone flying overhead again to document the pain.  This was a great cardio beat down and the PAX gave tremendous effort.  Great work men!

Next we moseyed back along the Wagon trail to the Ridge Trail which was a fairly long leg of the run.  It was a nice long gradual uphill leg of the course with lots of fellowship along the trail.  We took a detour off the trail to the top of a large ravine that happened to have some ropes tied to trees.  This was the pulling part of the day.  You drop into the ravine using a rope and then continue downhill to the low spot.  Grab another rope and Batman your way up the side of the slope to the top.  Everyone helped each other to ensure they got down and back up safely.  As the PAX finished JK2 and Whoopee spent some time leading exercises while we waited for the six.  Spiderman was one of the last to reappear and it is rumored he is the only one among the PAX that didn’t use the ropes.  We hit the trails again and this time the bridge was out so the men had to cross the stream which was actually very pleasant.  The stream crossing led us back to the beach and barn area for another Pain Station.  Sargento helped me uncover the stereo and speakers and while Bandit cued the music we took a complete lap around the Beach trail.

Dolph couldn’t be with us but he was still kind enough to drop of a big tire and sledge hammer at the farm for us to use.  It also meant that someone might have a chance to finish first in one of the workouts.  Dolph has been sharpening the iron all year and pushes us all to get better.  #HIM.

Here was the Thang.  Partner up and while one partner runs laps on the beach trail, P2 performs 5 sledge hammer tire hits, 10 sprinter lunges, 20 dips, and 30 squats and repeado until the music stopped.  Bandit put the stereo on eleven and cued up Tom Sawyer on repeato.  The guys sensed we were near the end and put in some great effort here with some sprints and constant motion.  Next we decided on Roxanne with Merkins and plank jacks and a few more exercises including flutter kicks and Jobu’s before hitting the last trail back to start.  This part was supposed to be a nature trail walk but Whoopee took off up the hill and so we followed behind.

We circled the shovel flag and recited the pledge of allegiance and then brought it in for the COT.

Immediately, and I do mean immediately following the COT it was coffeerama time complete with orange slices (thanks 777), granola bars, coffee, water, Dunkin coffee box, and Outhouse’s surprise Yeti cooler which had not been opened.

As I was Q’ing up some dance music on the system, I noticed Whoopee eating something in aluminum foil with a big smile on his face.  Turns out Lulu and my nieces made piping hot, farm fresh breakfast burritos among other goodies.   Those things were special, especially when accompanied by the refreshments in the magical #yeticooler that Outhouse provided.  Most who had one ate two.  I did.

This was a great day to reflect on God’s creation in a place where that beauty is abundant.  We challenged ourselves, used teamwork to accomplish tasks, had a few laughs, and got better.  It was great preparation for the Community Foundation Run next week.  Bandit’s beat down alone should take a few minutes off your 5K PR.  Thanks again to my brother in law Boss Hogg and LuLu and those that showed up and offered to help along the way.  We missed those that couldn’t make it but hope to do this again someday for our second year anniversary.

Thanks to the men of F3 that planted us at that first workout on March 21, 2015 and those that have shepherded us along the way.   The Backwoods Brawl was supposed to be a celebration of the Gashouse’s 1^st year, to experience all three F’s in one event, and to get beat down at a special AO.  Mission accomplished.