F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Author: Rudolph (page 1 of 2)

Painlab – Functional Flush

Another Saturday, another Painlab.  But this time different.  We circled up and there were so many guys I hadn’t posted with before, pretty dang cool.  Then as we circled up we had a guy I put the EH on last night in Mr. Wayne Finley, and it was on.  We warmed up with JJ and his magic number 8, they took off and Bandit, Woody, FNG, Flush and I went to the circle.

The lesson of the day was “slow and steady wins the race”.  The idea that we are going to grind through our first functional workout was fun to me, and you gotta put in the work, each gruesome step, to be a winner.  Knowing Flush was there, and likely had a good Yoga routine, I decided on one cycle of total body exercises, would do the trick.  But another trick in that we would only get a 10 count between sets.  So one set, 10-15 reps depending on the exercise, and everyone had a kettlebell, which was awesome.

It should be noted Billy Madison walked in right at the first exercise.  With a big ol’ dirty rock.  Here’s what we did:

Lunge – trunk rotation

Squat to overhead press

Renegade Rows


Kettlebell chops

Bridge rotations

Kettlebell Swings

High kick bridges

Burpees (slow)



Yoga Squats

and a few others.  I’m doing this from memory, cut me some slack.

Then with 20 minutes left I threw it to Flush.  This was a mistake.  He gathered us up, taught us some basics on alignment and breathing.  Then the pain started.  A great routine consisting a proper flow through moves:  Mountain, monkey, chimichanga, up-dawgs, downward facing dogs, plank, more dog stuff. warrior poses, tree, airplane, half-moons (NEVER AGAIN…I MEAN YES), and just a very tough routine.  But rewarding.

The rest of the PAX got there, JJ hit some dance music from the night before at the W.A. Bess dance (props to our FNG – The Duke, Timeframe, Gastone and JJ for toughing it out with me) and we traded some abs.  After a damn eon long name-o-rama we got our FNG named.  He had a dose of pain and liked it.

Thanks for the chance to lead, using Functional Excercises, coupled with the real Yoga made for a great routine, and something that anyone is injured, or wants a change of pace, can integrate.


Painlab – Rule of 3

Colder than what we’ve had, mostly due to that wind.  I wondered how cold our circle  would be for the 2018 relaunch of Painlab, but whatever.  We ain’t scared.  Started out the morning seeing regular Oompa Loompa,  Madoff running his son Messi, an FNG (HIPAA), and a Kotter in Hot for Teacher.  That’s a healthy mix!  Others joined, then 3 jokers with heavy bookbags came running in.  Were they campers?

We warmed up with the Bootcampers, then HFT, Oompa, Flush and I grabbed our cinderblocks & kettlebells and headed for the circle.  I just now remember i forgot to get Flush my duct-tape for his cinderblock.  Cripes!  Reminded everyone to MODIFY as needed!  We then did 5 minutes of shadow boxing and other calisthenics to get loose.  Part of getting Painlab back on track is that I need to bring a Q lesson, so today is Rule of 3.  Things break down really easily into 3’s, and one of my favorite is Lou Holtz’s 3 rules for being a solid human.

Always do the Right thing

Always do the Best you can

Treat others how you’d like to be treated.

So let’s make a workout out of those!  And work 3 body parts – Pectorals, Triceps and Quadrilateral muscles.

Phase 1 – Do the Right thing.  To me, the right thing meant putting in the proper hard work.  So we did this:

Drop sets, where we do these exercises in succession, then 1 minute break before repeating.

  • Merkins Max-Out – French Curls – Squats (x 2 sets….max out or cap reps at 20)

-Decline Merkins – KickBacks – Lunges (x 2 sets, max out or cap reps at 20)

  • Pull-Overs – Diamond Merkins – Romanian Dead Lift (x 2 sets, max out or cap reps at 20)

Flush looked at me like I was on drugs when I said to max out on Merkins.  I forgot he can do about 148 in a row 😉

Phase 2 – do the Best you can.  To me, this means doing your best for a partner, so parter up!  HFT and I, Oompa and Flush were the tag teams.

3 minute interval.  One partner busts their tail to do as much as they can, then swaps exercises with their partner when they are smoked.

ROUND 1 – Rotational Push Up (20) – SWAP – Half Moons

ROUND 2 – Divebombers (OMAHA to Diamond Merks!) – SWAP – High Shelfs

ROUND 3 – Bridge French Curls – SWAP – Mountain Climbers

HFT pointed out that while I was concerned about cardio, this fit the bill quite well!  And what I love about Oompa always being there, if an exercise looks or sounds ridiculous, he leads the MODIFY charge.  Solid guy.  I’d also like to point out that HFT didn’t recognize the training montage music from Rocky 4.  SHAME.

Phase 3 – treat everyone well.  So here’s a chance to either be dastardly to folks, or be kind, or kinda both!  This was a guessing game.   One guy thinks of an exercise, and a number between 1 and 10.  FIrst guy guesses the number, if wrong we do that many of the exercise, and the man who is being guessed at tells us if he was “Hi or Lo”.  So you could say Burpees and 10, and be a cruel man, or say LBC and 1 and take it easy.  Proud to say every number was north of 5, so kind of fun.

Then a bunch of Cowbells  started ringing.  Here came a herd of HIMS!  They rounded us up, I led 7 minutes of Mary (thanks Whoopee), and then the bells rang.

Moleskin:  Fun to get PL back going, I appreciate the opportunity to give back to F3, which has brought me much more physically and spiritually.  Remember to headlock folks out there, that may be too scared to run or have some other non-life threatening thing, but need to fill that hole of bonding and fellowship.  More mumblechatter next time!  And I would really love some Q volunteers.



The ToolTime Teamwork Trap = Terribly Terrific

Ah Tooltime.  Never a second thought about creating a painful trap for the Pax.  Sneaky guy….I loved it.

After last week he took the Q, walked up and said “I want to know about Painlab, and I want everyone else to know.  How about I run ’em for a lap and bring them to the circle?”.  I said “you have a sick mind.  Let’s do it”.

So with that the trap was set.  The regular Painlab staff of Oompa and Bandit were in on planning, and the crucial move by Slaw to make sure we had enough coupons.  This was a BIG part, so big ups to Slaw for that.  The Pax should always know that I put 6 – 25lb plates in my trunk, along with 4 – 10lb. plates, some 5 lb. ones and a few Kettlebells.  Kettlebells are growing on me.  Get one in the 20-40 lb. range and I’m glad to send you a program!

Anyways, we planned through the week, and this morning Tooltime was grinning ear to ear.  I wrote a program that represents what we do, so here we go:

Tooltime wasted NO time, said he was an idiot and so were we, off they moseyed.  Meanwhile Oompa, Bandit and I grabbed our weights and did this in front of Frank:

4 Rounds – 10 Lunges, 10 Kettlebell Swings, 10 Merkins, 10 Squats

By the middle of Round 4 the Pax showed up.  Some looked confused, all enjoyed carrying their coupons.  They did the tradition of once you hit the curb, you lunge your coupon to the circle.  Then……WELCOME TO PAINLAB!  Gave the usual spiel:

  • Modify as needed.  I always have alternate exercies
  • We do non-high impact.  High Impact both feet leave the ground, low is one foot, zero is two feet on the ground
  • We focus on cardio, strength, core and flexibility

Phase I: PainLadder

25 each – Blockie Merkin, Weighted Crunch, Deadlift to High Pull, Weighted American Hammers

20 each – same

15 each – same

10 each – same

5 each – same

Good work, lots of chatter.  Tooltime asked Stroganoff to never ask him to Q again.  I saw Frank smile  Break time….1 minute lunge walk around the circle

Phase II:  PainCycle

  1. Boxing (3 minutes)
  2. PAINMARCH Lunge (1 minute – ALT Rockette)
  3. Muscle Work (3 minutes – Diamond Merkin, Curls, weighted squats – 10 to exhaustion cycle) (ALTS are French Curls, Bent Over Rows, Don Quixotes)
  4. PAIN MARCH High Knees (1 minute – ALT Slow Karyoke)
  5. Ab Work (3 minutes – Mary in circle, reps of 20)

wanted to repeat but had to Omaha…..had to get to:

Phase III: Follow the Leader

Lunge walk around the circle to the stadium steps, bear crawl up, then across, next level was crab walk, next level was lunges, next level was bear crawl again, then high knee the last one.

After that everyone found a pole and squatted for a bit.  Leave it to Tooltime to start talking food to break it up.  Hard to talk when I had a clock going off in my head….but I got delayed 15 seconds, you don’t feel that when you have an iso-squat going, do ya?  Good stuff.

Phase IV:  Isolation Drop-Sets

everyone has something they need to work on.  I try to leave 3-5 minutes to tackle something you want to hit, compliments of a Q I saw Roscoe pull many years ago.  Something about facing your fears.  So, I gave the men drop-sets (one exercise, then another to exhaustion, that focus on the same muscle groups).  I listed exercises, set the timer and said GET TO IT!  Good work by the guys here.

Phase IV:  Yoga

Asked the Pax what you do, so you don’t get injured, after some hard muscle work?  STRETCH!  And the best darn thing I have ever found in terms of stretching but staying intense is Yoga.  If done right, this stuff is the real deal.  For a many, many weeks now, Bandit, Oompa and other guys have been getting better and better.  Very proud of this, because check this out:


Warrior Pose 2, both sides

Hanging Knee

Chair Pose


Low Plant

Cat pose

Child pose


Hands to Feet, bleeding into….

Crane Pose.  BANDIT GOT FULL CRANE!  And held it.  He’s losing weight or getting stronger.  That’s all there is to it.  Awesome.

Back up to Tree pose on both sides.  Got some laughs here.  That’s good, it was quitting time anyways.  Walked the coupons back and name-o-rama.

Tooltime said it best:  when you are hurt and want the fellowship, come to Painlab.  When you want to focus on strength, core and flexibility, with a side of cardio, come to Painlab.  This is our thing to give F3 Gastonia, and whether I pull a solo merlot or have the big dogs Oompa and Bandit with me, you will always have stretches, exercises, but most importantly the fellowship time to push the rock.  Or block.  Or plate . Or kettlebell.

A pleasure to lead and have the team we did today.  Teamwork!  AYE!

  • Rudolph

Old School vs. New School. Everyone wins!

Up early and ready, YHC was looking forward to this day.  I got to lead the 3rd F to start, and will only say to you all:  MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK.  Teamwork is key, and if you Google – “What does the Bible say about teamwork” you will get a familiar passage:  Proverbs 27:17.  What a coincidence!  Or not!

So after that good rap session, we got it on.  Hushpuppy got us some SSH’s, then Painlab 4 horsemen (Oompa, Squirt and 2.0 PapaJohn) got to work:

Lunge walk the weights to Franks’ place.

WARMUP – Imperial Walker x 10, MNC x 15, Low slow squat x 10, Don Quixote x 10, Merkin x 10, LBC x 10

Painlab Powercycle X 3 cycles:  I) Merkins – Dips, Boxing, Yoga  II)  Curl-Row, Boxing, Yoga  III) Shoulder Press – Raises, Boxing, Yoga

***Lots of sweat here.  Again, I heard some squeaks when we rolled into Crane Technique.  Big ups to PJ for trying EVERYTHING with a smile.  Started with Casting Crowns, rolled into Rocky soundtrack.  Gonna Fly Now will make you lift a house.

Follow the leader:  Bear Crawl, Side Crawl, Lunge, Backward high-kick, Wall sits, inverted Wall climb….other stuff, just remember asking the guys to have a seat on the wall and all 3 of them went for the picnic chairs.  Niiiiice work.

Mary:  got to the circle at about 12 till, we got in about 5 minutes worth of early work.  PJ learned how to count from Oompa.  Then his brother showed up and put a 72 on the board for flutter kicks.  72!  I did about 53 I think.  Rotten little painmaker.  AYE!

MOLESKIN – I don’t care if it’s only me, or 100 people, the PAINLAB will always be here for F3.  Big ups as usual to my partner Oompa, and to Squirt for constant optimism, and PJ for making my day with his effort. Painlab is my part of the team, and this team makes me a better person, father and HIM.  Will be a bit spotty due to summertime, but rest assured, we will be rockin’.  Come for the inspiration, stay for the swell!



Oompa Loompa posted a Q. Here’s the pain that he brought to you…

The title goes a lot better if you sing the Oompa Loompa song along with it.  From the man’s own words:

No Rudolph, so left stranded on Isle of Misfit Toys or…Isle of Unfit Boys to keep with theme of Whoopie’s Christmas Party

Q: Oompa Loompa

PAX: Huckleberry, Tesla (Respect), Oompa Loompa (Respect), with partial credit to Pockets who scratched at the break

Q Freight started workout with burpees OYO (for real?). Turned over to Q Spiderman, who made us do side straddle hops and something else before the group of 34 ran off, leaving just the Pain Lab participants.

Walk to my trunk for coupon (cinder block) overhead shoulder press while walking approximately 100 meters to other parking lot. Approximately 1 minute per exercise plus 1 minute per stroll.

Did 25 merkins IC on block. Walk back to other parking lot holding coupon straight out.

Did 50 LBC OYO.  Walk back to other parking lot lifting coupon behind head.

Did 50 squats OYO. Then back to parking lot, walking curls with coupons.

Did Scissorkicks. Walk to benches for 25 dips in IC. Tesla and I shared wisdom to Huckleberry

Did 25 merkins IC. Walk back to parking lot with coupons over head

Did 50 LBC OYO.  Walk back to other parking lot lifting coupon behind head.

Did 25 mountain climber IC. Did something with coupon that I forgot while going back to parking lot. Talked about male issues and became lost the rest of the Q

Did 25 merkins. Walk to benches for dips. Walk to parking lot with coupons.

Did 50 LBC with feet on ground OYO. Walk to other parking lot with coupons.

Did 20 squats. Left coupons in place to join the 12 Days of Christmas.

12 days of Christmas: lap around pavilion, 2 jump squats, 3 merkins, 4 LBC, 5 burpees, 6 Side straddle hops, 7 Moroccan night clubs, 8 ?, 9 ?, 10 ?, 11 ? and 12? Sorry can’t remember the rest.

Pleasure to lead this fine body of men and look forward to my next opportunity….

Painlab IV – The 4 Basic F(3)ood Groups

PainLab 4

Painlab is for impaired, injured, recovering & FNG’s. We do Zero/Low impact. I’m not professional. MODIFY!

Today we get the 4 basic Painlab fitness groups:


Warm Up (5 minutes): Imperial Walker 10, Moroccan Night Club 10, Low Slow Squat 10, Don Quixote 10, Merkin 10 LBC 10

Jacob’s Ladder (15 minutes): Bear Crawl up – 8 Slow Burpees, down to 1 Squat, 7-2, 6-3, etc.

STRENGTH (2 Rounds)
Painlab Painstation (Dropsets to circle Frank 1 minute)

1) Curls – Bent Over Rows (Back/bicep)
2) Pullovers – Kickbacks (Tricep/Chest)
3) PrisonerSquats – Calf raises (Legs)
4) Shoulder Press, Lateral Raise (Shoulders/Traps)ALT – Trap Raise – Lunge

POWER – Kettlebell/Weights

1 – Goblet Squat
2 – row
3- press
4 – chest loaded swing
5 – shoulder halo
6 – Hip Halo
7 – ankle halo, head

STRETCH (10) -YOGA FIRE!!Namaste Warrior 2 Namaste Warrior 2 OP Handsup Touch toe Tabletop Plank Upward facing Downward facing dog
Plank Low plank Cat stretch/childs pose Side plank Side plank OP Chair pose Buddha squat Crane
Hanging knee

Back to the circle to meet Pax for Mary.

MOLESKIN:  a fun day and while I failed to get some FNG’s, 2 of our established Pax joined Oompaand I to get it done.  Big ups to Warden and Squirt!  Bigger ups to Squirt for leading an insightful 3rd F prior.  Yall get up a bit earlier, I always learn something.

Oompa has the con for Convergence, my Painlab Partner took my cinderblocks so watchout!!

Have a great week


Painlab the 3rd: The Painining

Kudos to whoever gets that obscure reference.

What a gorgeous day to lift coupons and raise them to Frank (going name for the statue.  Great, great job guys.  ROLLS EYES).


The Thang:

Gave the speech:  Painlab is for impaired, injured, recovering & FNG’s. We do Zero/Low impact. I’m not professional. MODIFY!

***Pantera on the docket, omaha to Van Halen because of our 2.0.  We will have a vulgar display of power soon.

Warm Up (5 minutes): Imperial Walker 10, Moroccan Night Club 10, Low Slow Squat 10, Don Quixote 10, Merkin 10 LBC 10

Jacob’s Ladder up the stadium steps (15 minutes): Bear Crawl up – 7 Slow Burpees, down to 1 Squat, 6-2, 5-3, etc.

Painlab Powercycle – (12 minutes)
1) CDD, Superman, Parker Peter, Dips
2) Boxing
3) Yoga – Warrior 2, Triangle, Extnded Triangle, Downward Facing Dog, Trikonasana,

Pass the Pain (3 minutes) – 3 minutes of varied milkjug core on steps

Painlab Painstation (1 minute each….)
1) Curls, Skullcrushers
2) Derkins, Dips
3) Squats to Clean
4) Shoulder Press, Lateral Raise

Painlab Pathfinder – follow the leader on the ledges, make way to circle of trust with Gashouse where we did lotta core.

MOLESKIN:  more folks this time, and another 2 prime targets of Feelgood and Bandit.  We also picked up Smackdown (2.0) and Goodfella (61 – respect!).  Thanks to Mayor and Hushpuppy for being there, those guys make a workout fun.  And big props to BB-8 for coming back for more.

This is a priviledge to lead.  Will look for others to Q soon, but I’m bringing more FNG’s this week if I have to drag them by their toes!   See you Saturday, AYE!
Luke B. F3 Rudolph

We raise our jugs to you, mighty American!

PainLab, part Deux.  Very excited to have some new faces, only 3 people backed out on me last night 😉  The mighty men who joined (Mayor, DaVinci, Oompa Loompa, FNG 1, FNG 2) got to enjoy our maiden voyage at our permanent AO.

The Thang:

Stroganoff gave the low-down as he Q’d Gashouse bootcamp.  Then the Labrats (yes, this) and I met at my car and grabbed a lot of milk jugs.  Combo of lunge walk, slow karyoka and high knee to the statue (i gotta learn that guys name).


Imperial walker -10, Morroccan Night Club – 20 ,Low Slow Squat – 10, Don Quixote – 10, Merkin – 10, LBC – 10.  I think the FNG’s learned Ooompa’s history in the military when he counted.

ARTIST OF THE DAY – Judas Priest (at the request of Mayor who wanted something harder than Pearl Jam from last week.  Rock on brother!  If you Q PainLab, you choose the muzak)

Phase 1 – same as last week, the Circuit Circle (Reindeer Games?  Carolina Cycle? I need help). Here’s breakdown:

Round 1 – Muscle Work – Merkin x 10 to Parker Peter x 10 to Supermans x 10 to Dips x 10.  Go 3 minutes

1 minute of lunge in circle

Round 2 – Shadow Box – jab, straight, hook, uppercut, combos

1 minute of high knee in circel

Round 3 – Yoga – Warrior pose 2 to lean, to both sides, tree pose, chair pose

do that one more time for 2 complete rounds.  Good job guys, no rest!  One FNG went for water….Mayor said “WATER???”.  That won’t happen again.

Phase 2 – Follow the Leader – we all sat on the stadium concrete, only on the six, legs elevated.  I passed a jug to them, they passed it back.  I passed it high and said to keep it high, they did that.  Then I put 2 jugs in rotation, things got wacky.  Then some more ab exercises.  This is tougher than you think!

Then they followed me as we Bear Crawled to the top, across the first ledge, lunge walk the second ledge, crab walked the third, high knee’d the 4th to a plank.  This was good, I saw a lot of modification from the guys that worked.

*At this point Mayor showed me his watch, his hear rate was at 158.  That made both of us feel good.  You WILL get Cardio here.

Phase 3 – Partner Work:  we partnered up and did 100 CDD’s, 200 Curls with the jugs, and started on 300 Calf raises, but the Gashouse boys were back and we joined for Mary.  Sorry for being late Strogonoff!!

Ended as usual, but named our FNG’s:  Irish Cream (Mr. Bailey), BB 8 (Jim Smith), Oliver Twist (Spence Newcombe).  This could have been much, much worse if the vicious former Nantan Whoopee had his way.  Caitlyn, Ariel and Annie…..really?????  Brutal.

Thanks to all, join us at the Lab sometime, and never forget that heavy metal makes the morning better.

YHC – Rudolph

PainLab Launch-o-rama

PAINLAB – you are here because your body hates you after high-impact work, or you are recovering from injury.  Either way, you will get a workout!  High-impact is when both feet leave the ground.  We don’t do that.  We bust @$$ keeping 1 or 2 legs on the ground.  It works!

Big ups to AssshhPond, Mayor and Ooompa Loompa for doing this.  It takes guts to try something new.  Mayor had a nasty cold so I stayed out of his sweat spot, Tclaps to him.  We started with the other 40 guys, and as C-SPAN led them away from the Fighting Yank, 4 of us stuck around to try this new thang out.  Here’s what we did:

Lunge walk warm-up: go by the statue, down the steps, around the fountain, back up.  Some slow Karyoka in the middle somewhere.  Formed a circle around the Yank for the real warm-up, in cadence:

Imperial Walker x 10

Morroccan Night Club x 20

Low Slow Squat x 10

Don Quixonte x 10

Merkin x 10

LBC x 20

PHASE 1 – Circuit Circle (needs better name):  3 minutes per round, 1 minute of F3 rest (aka exercise) in between rounds.

Round 1 – Muscle Work – 10 Merkins, 10 Mountain Climbers (slow so have 2 points of contact), 10 Dirty Dogs, 10 Dips…..repeat unit round is up

Round 2 – Boxing

Round 3 – Yoga

Rest minutes were more Lunges or Imperial Walkers in a circle.  Get used to that part.

After 2 rotations of that we moved to Partner Work

PHASE 2 – Partner Work

100 CDD’s

200 Squats

300 Speed Skaters

We got almost through with the SS when the rest of the Pax was jogging in.  This worked great, and is how we will do Pain Lab.  Meet up, warm up separate, meet back for Mary.  If I remember correctly, we did 10 minutes of:




Box Cutters


Flying Squirrels



I don’t know what else, but it was good crunch time

PAINLAB is all about modify.  I have exercises ready to interchange for EVERYTHING we do.  So I promise you will get cardio, strength and have adult recess, like CSPAN said.  Stop by the PAINLAB sometime when you want a change up, and tell all the guys who have issues but need the things that F3 provides.  Thanks to all Pax for helping this become a real thing.  Every Saturday at 7 at Gashouse/Schiele.

***OOMPA LOOMPA – you are a man among men, thanks for your partnership here!

Your friend and lab mouse – Rudolph


PRE-BLAST: GasHouse Pain Lab starting 5.13.17!

GasHouse region, we have finalized plans to introduce the Pain Lab to GasHouse.  What is a Pain Lab?  This is a workout that will be designed for those who cannot do High-Impact exercises (both feet leave the ground, like jogging or regular burpees), and also for those members on the mend from injuries, providing a Low & Zero impact solution.

We will modify exercises, we will get our cardio spiking, we will but our @$$e$.

So headlock all the guys who say after a day of jogging they will be laid up, because they have a way to F3 and build bonds.  We’re going to get work done for the beasts who are strong in mind, if not all parts of the body.  Exercises on tap include:

  • Boxing
  • Abdominal Focus
  • Yoga
  • Kettlebell/Weights
  • Low-Impact Cardio
  • Stretching/Flexibility

For the first few months this will run CONCURRENTLY to GasHouse Boot Camp (Schiele Museum).  Meet at 7 a.m., Boot Campers take off, we stay and work, everyone meets back up for Ball of Man at 8 p.m.

Looking forward to it!  See Rudolph with questions!

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