Offending Monkeys

A baker’s dozen came and did the thing on a perfect Thursday morning at the F3 Gastonia AO known as the Greatest Of All Time.  There were Sizzle Suicides (because of course there were) & Tammy Wynettes.  No monkeys were spared, and only one PAX left behind.  Here’s what I remember:

The Thang:

• 10 x SSH (IC)
• 10 x Don Quixotes (IC)
• 10 x Hillbilly Walkers (IC)
• 10 x Dying Cockroaches (IC)
• 10 x Mike Tysons (IC)
• 10 x Mountain Climbers (IC)

Mosey to Floyd & Blackies, not for coffee, but the requisite Sizzle Suicides.  See any of YHC’s prior backblasts at The Goat for a description of the Sizzle Suicides.

Instructions were given to hold at the top of the hill, and not run back down.  That didn’t stop Freon.  Failure for all PAX to follow the plan is a failure in leadership.  YHC doubled down with the leadership failure and just left him, but not before the first of many:

• 30 x Monkey Humpers (OYO)

Mosey to the church across from the apartments.  Oh Freon didn’t get to do them, let’s go again:

• 30 x Monkey Humpers (OYO)

It’s like the old days, when the F3 Gastonia PAX first found out what Monkey Humpers were, and whoever was Qing couldn’t wait to break them out as many times as possible and our asses hurt for days.  YHC was trying to recreate that feeling.  You’re welcome.

To the church parking lot, for the requisite complicatedness that the PAX come to expect from a Flintstone Q.

Partner Up

• Both PAX lunge walk to opposite ends of the church parking lot
• 20 x Eskimo Merkins (OYO)
• Both PAX lunge walk back to the middle
• 20 x Tammy Wynettes (“Stand By Your Man”)
  • PAX 1: 20 x Merkins (keeps count)
  • PAX 2: 20 x Squats (synchronized w/PAX 1)
• Repeat in opposite directions, switching roles w/Tammy Wynettes

Lots of lunging.  Right amount of suck.  Time to further shred them abs, but first, Bottoms Up:

• 15 x Monkey Humpers (IC)
• 20 x Michael Phelps (IC)
• 20 x Toe Touches (IC)
• 20 x Freddie Mercuries (IC)

By the time the Freddies roll around, YHC is ready to be done with all that.

Here’s the part where the PAX were expecting something new, fresh, and inventive.  Nope.

Round 2 (See round 1 above):

• Lunge Walk
• Eskimo Merkins
• Tammy Wynettes
• Repeato

Then

• 15 x Monkey Humpers (IC)
• 20 x Michael Phelps (IC)
• 20 x Toe Touches (IC)
• 20 x Freddie Mercuries (IC)

Second round was about the same amount of suck as the first, if not a little more.  Abs were done, but still more to come.  Let’s go home.  Start the mosey back on Front St, stopping for, you guessed it:

• 30 x Monkey Humpers (OYO)

Little more mosey.  Hey have y’all heard of these things called Monkey Humpers?  How funny is that?  I guess not funny to everyone.  One PAX said it was offensive to monkeys.  Surely not.  They’re flattered that we’re thinking of them.

• 30 x Monkey Humpers (OYO)

Mosey back to the house with the fresh new privacy fence inspired by years of F3 torturing the resident fluff dog for a quick round of, well, this:

Groups of 3

• PAX 1: Mosey to the statue and back
• PAX 2: Hold 6 inches (or 10, or whatever you got)
• PAX 3: American Hammers
• PAX 2 & 3 swap back and forth whenever til PAX 1 gets back, then a different PAX gets up to run
• Repeato til all 3 PAX finish running

We really only got through 2 PAX running before it was time for COT

Announcements and Prayer Requests were there but I need to wrap up this backblast and go to work.  Maybe I’ll add them later in the day.

Sore today.  I guess the monkeys won.

Thanks for the opportunity to do dumb and slightly irreverent things.

Yabba Dabba Doo