Do you like pina coladas? Prison Break semi-secret

Two hims escaped from prison break before the rooster crowed to run over to Roadie’s place, and he was nowhere to be found. After several minutes of farting, belching, and scratching, Roadie received a wake up call stating “Get your fat lazy ass out of bed you sorry sack of chit.” Not hard to figure out who called is it?
Whereupon Roadie got his crap together and manned up.
Off we go to run the lovely greater metropolitan area of Ranlo and Auten Rd neighborhood.
It seemed we ran uphill the entire way.
Roadie knew every dog in every yard.
We hid from the po-po, a thousand bloodhounds, couple of questionable streetwalkers, bad drivers, trash cars, and eventually safely reached Bedpan’s humble abode.

At the end, up 4.7 miles was the total on Oompa’s Fitbit.

Bedpan took us out.