Big Enos, thats Watts Up!!! a back blast parallel

okay guys, here is how the story unfolds……Smokey and the Bandit

(excerpts from Wikipedia)….Wealthy Texan Big Enos seeks Coors beer for refreshment.  He and his son Little Enos have sponsored a racer in Atlanta’s Southern Classic and they want to celebrate in style when he wins.  They find local legend Bo ‘Bandit’ Darville at a roadeo (not spelled wrong, check it out) at Lakewood Fairgrounds in Atlanta and offer him $80,000 to pick up 400 cases of Coors beer in Texarcana, Tx (the closest place it could legally be sold at the time) and bring it back to Atlanta in 28 hours.  The Trans Am was purchased by Bandit on an ‘advance’ of the offer money.

a parallel……..if you will.

Big Enos, I mean Watts Up seeks 4 (now 5 due to birth of granddaughter) cases of Coors to celebrate his Painlab AO Site Q inauguration.  He has given us an $18 advance on a semi-used wheel barrow with a semi-flat pneumatic   We have until 07:54 to return with his brew.

Disclaimer:  As I stand amongst the Pax in a red polo and straw cowboy hat I feel an extra sense of urgency to exclaim that I am not a professional.  Not sure I even did that correctly.

Warm Up:

SSH – 25 IC

LBC – 15 IC (I think)

Squats 10 IC

Pledge:

Painlab off with Hippa, Bootcamp grab the Trans Am and follow me.

1st Site:

Schiele Woods / Bridge

The Germans ain’t got Nothin to do with It.

Sheriff Branford tells Sheriff Justice the fact that he is a Sheriff is not ‘germane’ to the situation.  Justice responds, ‘the Germans ain’t got nothin to do with this’

The Thang:  11’s Merkins / Burpees

There are two bridges and as such we can complete a loop while performing 11’s.  The first bridge is Merkins, that bridge I ‘want’ you to do Merkins (Germane).  The second bridge is Burpees, here you can perform whatever exercise you think or interpret that I called (Germans).

Stopped about 1/2 way thru for time.

Sounded Taller on Radio:

After Justice knocked Branford off the bridge into the water he told the 6’5″ Branford he thought he sounded taller on radio:

The Thang:  Stretching

Runners Stretch – for an amount of time

Standing side stretch – for an amount of time

Seated Twist – for an amount of time

We found two cases of Coors beer and rapidly transported these by hand to the thirsty Painlab crew above.  With Trans Am leading the way off we roll to the church to pick up Frog.

2nd site:  Church

The Thang:  Bouquet Toss

Perfect balcony with stairs adorning both sides set the perfect setting for the Bouquet Toss.  The one who catches the bouquet gets to sit that exercise out.

1st Toss:  10 Burpees, 2nd Toss:  30 Merkins, 3rd Toss:  50 LBC’s, 4th Toss:  50 Squats

The Thang:  Ultimate Bouquet (Ultimate Frisbee with a bouquet of flowers)

Formed two teams, using toilet paper as our goal lines, I could have played better if I wasn’t laughing so hard.  Gold Digger joined us for a minute before continuing his ultra marathon.

Collect another case of Coors and off we go to the Choke and Puke.

3rd Site:  The closed Hillbillys dubbed the Choke and Puke

Diablo Sammich: 

The Thang:  Partner French Fry’s – 25 count

Nice Ass: 

The Thang:  Toilet Paper Chase

After Justice emerges from the can taking a squirt, he exclaims that the waitress who retrieves the toilet paper in his glasses has a ‘nice ass’.  Therefore:

Each pax places 4 strips of toilet paper in their pants.  No rules, pax chase each other down trying to take each other’s stash while guarding their own.  When you are empty do 25 LBC’s, load up and go again.  I barely got finished explaining the rules when Montross had me stripped before I could run.  25 LBC’s later I’m stuffing my pants to go again.

Junior:  It’s a football game Daddy, can we watch”?

The Thang:  Toilet Paper Hurl, Quarterback/Receiver/Defender

Plank (QB) or squat (Receiver and Defender) for 30 seconds, receiver go out for a pass, defender you should know what to do, QB hurl the toilet paper as hard as you can and see if you can get a long tail drag.  I was defending Montross.  He caught a roll of toilet paper with a Haley’s comet tail before I could even jump off of the line.

Collect our case of Coors and mosey, quickly as it is now 7:45.  Now, we have an issue.  Time to return Watts Up loot is 7:54 and we have one more stop to make.  With Trans Am in low gear Stroganoff and Monk ran ahead to find our last case of Coors.  Unfortunately we did not have time to get to know Frog personally in the Park as I had some very special exercises planned that would make one blush.  We’ve now got 3 cases of Coors with two at the house.  By calculations we have less than 6 minutes to make it from Lineberger Park to the Schiele hauling a booty load of Coors in excess of 100 lbs. and by now a choking and puking Linus.

Summary: I think we made it back at 07:57, a full three minutes behind schedule.  In the movie Bandit was about to give up as Snowman barreled through the gate with 10 minutes to spare.  Luckily Watts Up was sidelined doing some ridiculous lean and hang exercise so I declared that we arrived on time even though we didn’t.  Sort of a draw, but now Watts Up has offered us double or nothing to go to New England to pick up Clam Chowder.  Details to come, maybe.

It should be noted that Stroganoff pushed the rock extra hard today, I felt humbled that Monk and Top Hat would humor me on a run chasing for Coors beer, if you ever want to measure where your athletic skills stand try to guard Montross in football or ultimate bouquet, and JJ is always great with whatever ridiculous suggestion I am always suggesting.

Announcements:

Belmont 5K (Speed for Need) 5/25

Gastone Hike, 5/26

Monk / QSource after Coconut Horse

Keep on look for next Rice N Beans events, should occur monthly, bring your kids

Monk’s Farewell party (5/31?)

Concerns:

Many Pax are battling concerns right now, proms and graduations and friends and family travels.

We got to acknowledge Rudolph as the original Painlab Site Q, VooDoo who’s first post was in November 2018 has taken command of Bulldog AO, Stroganoff with regards for Hippa’s contributions and our F3 region, and inaugurate Watts Up as the Gashouse Painlab AO Q.

Many thanks to Hippa and his Painlab leadership, I will simultaneously miss your partnership in Gashouse endeavors while looking forward to working with Watts Up.

Setting up this event I was nervous on Saturday morning at 0600.  I’m thinking what if this, what if that?  I decided to move full speed forward and I’m glad I did.  I had a blast and I think all others did as well.  We blended a great theme with a full rounded workout.  Inching for time we hauled 100 lbs. of block for nearly a mile within 10 minutes.  I was spent, and my time on the couch Sunday reflected that.  Thank you for your support and humoring me.  Even if it was not well received I never knew, let’s just keep it that way.

Until we beckon for the Clam Chowder my friends………Aye