99 Bottles of Beer…

Whoopee vacated his Q slot for this morning’s bootcamp. Either his M failed to tell him or he failed to remember they had a garage sale scheduled bright and early this morning. Plenty of George Strait cd’s are still available I here. So I gladly took control for the boot camp while Bedpan was to have his VQ with the Pain Lab. When I’m on a work call that looses my interest, I open my excel file with all of my Weinkes and get creative. This idea had been brewing for a while and I tempted the PAX of Gastonia via Twitter and Slack, hoping to entice a big crowd.

I arrived in the parking lot after an EC run and was pleasantly surprised at the eager group of PAX. I had a strong feeling Udders from Greensboro would post. I was happy to see the return of the “the Streak,” as well as Hushpuppy. I attempted to lure Brownstreak to the bootcamp providing as much insight as I could (he doesn’t like surprises if you didn’t know) but he was leaning toward the Pain Lab. I checked my watch and 0700 struck – time to get this train wreck mov’in.  No FNG’s but a disclaimer was stated as there were some newer men among us. “You verses you, modify as needed, do what you want to do.” Did I say you verses you? I did…let’s go:

Warm-up:

• SSH IC x 10
• Squats (apparently I didn’t say “in cadence” though the PAX were following my lead quite nicely until HIPAA called me out) we finished 10 – in cadence
• Rapid fire: LBC’s in rapid cadence x 8; Plank Jacks in rapid cadence x 8, and just for HIPAA: 5 Burpees OYO

Pledge – boot camp bid adieu to the Pain Lab

We moseyed to the Grier track for Part I. Once through the gate we circled and I was once again surprised that only 7 men followed me. I guess the temptation wasn’t strong enough or the PAX were skeered as they sometimes say. No matter – the PAX that faced me were ready for a beat down and I was ready to give it. The biggest form of flattery is to borrow from another man’s workout. The track work is a combination from Stroganoff’s world famous “Wolfpack Grinder” and one that Tiny Tank led in honor of his West Point classmate Dan Whitten. To perform the real Whitten – you need some equipment, so modifications were in order. However – if you have access to a dumbbell or kettle-bell and a medicine ball – look up this workout and do it when you can’t attend F3. You will be tested. So today’s version was originally slated for 4 rounds of 20 reps. After round 1, I modified unbeknownst to the PAX. Here’s what we did:

• Steps-ups
• Dips
• Run 200 meters
• Burpees
• SSH
• Run 200 meters to complete a full lap
• Round 1 was 20 single count reps of the exercises; Round 2 was 15, and Round 3 was 10

I omaha’ed the fourth round because of time. Thanks to Roscoe for leading plank work waiting for the PAX to gather. Props to Roscoe for leading the charge with Udders closely following. This circuit was designed to elevate the heart rate. I’ve found that any occasion to run and throw in burpees will get your ticker pumping. A quick count off confirmed all eight men were still with us. Onto First Presbyterian Church’s PAD where the Main Event was waiting.

The set up took a minute to get the music going (thanks Rudolph for your speaker) and the cooler opened. Preparing for this Q was a bit unique and took me to three different stores to find the various coupons. I did fulfill a few requests but unfortunately those men were not among my PAX. Stroganoff titles many of his routines and this one deserved such distinction: 99 Bottles of Beer. Think all the way back to your elementary school days and those field trips. I feel certain that most if not all of us sang the song as the bus took off. I’m going to venture a guess that few field trips ever actually completed the countdown. I imagine in today’s PC world, young kids singing a song with “beer” in the lyric would be frowned upon. But today’s workout would bring smiles. So think of the “deck of death” workout but instead of cards, various bottles of beer were used. The time began with, yep you guessed it, a 99 second circuit, followed by a 30 second rest and then 98 seconds, and so on. I offered the PAX an asterisk that if they selected a bottle and didn’t like the exercises, they could “take one for the team” with a power chug of the ice cold beer. Some thought about it but none accepted the challenge, at least the drinking beer part. It went like this:

• 99 seconds: Old English 40 – Single line suicides & V Ups
• 98 seconds: Busch Light – Donkey Kicks & CDD’s
• 97 seconds: PBR – Jingle Balls & Am Hammers
• 96 seconds: Natural Light – Ski Abs & LBC’s
• 95 seconds: Stella Artois – Step Ups & Derkins
• 94 seconds: Ice House – SSH & Squats
• 93 seconds: Mich Ultra – Hi/Low Wall Taps & Floyd Mayweathers
• 92 seconds: Bud Light – Lt Dans & Flutter Kicks
• 91 seconds: Miller High Life (Just for Medicine Woman – a no show) – Burpees & Dying Cockroach

You see two exercises – most tabatas are 30 to 45 seconds.  Doing any one exercise for 99 seconds; it’s not that easy. So the idea was to do the first exercise to failure and then start the second – keep the cardio and heart rate going as much as possible. The mumble chatter was pretty good. Roscoe announced each new round with “(name) get you a cold beer.” I also had a cooler of water for the PAX and we certainly enjoyed a few of those cold ones in the summer humidity. We completed 9 rounds before it was time to head home. Oh did I mention the play list? All songs about drinking cold beer or partying or just a cool groove, but mostly about drinking: Blooze (Junkyard), Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World (Steel Panther), Had Enough (Tesla), Toes (Zac Brown Band), Day Drinking (Little Big Town), Metalingus (Alter Bridge). I hear that some bumpkin midget named George Strait has a song called “Cold Beer Conversation” but after listening to 30 seconds I decided the slow moving twang would have a negative effect on our heart rate. Maybe the next Q can use that song while doing yoga or an hour’s worth of star gazers?

PAIN LAB BB:

Shoulder press,lunge,lbc,merkin x20 three times.

Annie’s=planks one handed taking the other hand in the motion of cleaning the floor. Each side hold 20 seconds.

Bat wings x 20; 4 x each

Forwards, backwards circles; Seal claps, overhead claps x 20

WWII, Sandy V, Freddy Mercury’s, LBC’s, Flutter Kicks, Heel taps.

• 5 burpees
• 10 lunges
• 15imperial walkers
• 20 merkins

Sally up song w/ squats

15 super mike Tyson’s = mike Tyson then a burpee afterward.

15 minutes of battle rope alternating between planks

15 minutes of kettle bells

Rotated these two in groups.

COT: I ran with Madoff for some extra credit this morning. He was unable to post because his son had a swim meet but asked for a friend Nikki Bailey that is battling stomach cancer. We also lifted up prayers for Hushpuppy’s work friend Ashley that lost her battle with cancer leaving behind a family. Toto’s mother-in-law and his marriage. I believe Timeframe had a request that I cannot recall the specific name. We have a lot of PAX traveling home or to vacation destinations – we asked for their safe travels as well as safety and enjoyment as we look forward to celebrating July 4th.

Moleskin: Roadie was correct – the enticement of beer was a trap, well sort of. As noted, the PAX had the opportunity to drink one for the team. Of course splashing merlot would have come into play. I appreciate the 7 PAX that followed me out of the parking lot and allowed me to have some Q-fun with the workout. It was a grinder but the guys pushed through. Roscoe was on fire. Until you hear Moses say his age, you wouldn’t know by the way he pushes through the workout. Toto is drinking the F3 Kool-Aid like it was a free keg on the 4th of July. Nice to have Dr. Feelgood in the fold. Blart was quiet but had his typical dry witted comedic statement that got the guys laughing. JJ was steady as always, and Udders joined in as if he was one of us and not just visiting. Great work by the boot camp guys. Once the workout ended, we re-packed the cooler and I now have a collection of tall-boys, double-deuces, and an Ole E “fo-ty” that I doubt I’ll ever drink. High school and college was a long time ago and I have enough room in my budget for my standard Bud Light. So that means before this piss-water goes bad, I may need to bring the cooler to an AO near you. I’m scanning the Q schedule and you may very well find yourself participating in my version of 99 Beers on the Wall. That is unless Udders doesn’t snatch my Weinke and take this cooler to G-boro. It was a pleasure to Q.