Deck of Pain – or how to hate the Turkish Get-Up

The parking lot was pretty full, and as it got larger you could tell that winter is nearing an end.  How many would make it out for Painlab?  Earlier in the week HIPPA thought I put a gif of a break-dancer with a kettlebell on twitter.  Soon he would meet the Turkish Get-Up.

Large group that Sargento Q’d, he made his usual crack about how Painlab is lesser workout (which he does EVERY time, I’ll break him soon), someone else said something about “only” Painlab, which Mayor replied with something I can’t type here.  Decorum prevents it, sincerely Douglas S. Nedermeir, Sgt. at Arms.

It should be noted that while in the warm-up circle, I met the soon to be Moses (FNG) who showed up by himself.  Dope!  He and I chatted and tried to explain this madness.  But how impressive is that?

We warm-up, we pledge, then Duke, Bandit, HIPPA, Mayor and I grab the gear.  We went to a different spot as I thought asphalt might be easier for the TGU’s.  We made a circle, I put on the tunes and meet the Deck of Pain, which is the Deck of Death but a big twist:

Every number is an exercise, and that tells you the repetitions.  Every suit is a specific exercise, and you drop-set from the exercise to the suit exercise:

2 – Turkish Get-Up

3 – Side Row Lunge (each leg)

4 – Tactical Lunge (each leg)

5 – Bottoms Up Curl (each arm)

6 – Clean & Press (both or single arm)

7 – Snatch (each arm)

8 – Figure 8’s

9 – Skull Crushers

10 – Around the World

Jacks 11 – Clean’s

Queens 12 – High Pulls

Kings 13 – One Arm Swings

Ace – Winner’s choice

The Suits:

Hearts – Merkins

Clubs – Squats

Spades – LBC

Diamonds – Burpees

So if you pull the 7 of Diamonds, we do 7 Snatch’s each arm, then go straight to 7 Burpees.  Next person draw a card.  This was not easy.  I had to employ 4-5 10 counts, especially when the King of Diamonds fell, then about 10 minutes later the Queen.  We pulled a major Omaha on the Turkish Get-Ups.  Along with Swings, this is the best exercise from kettlebells, but it’s also very form specific, and if you’re not used to it, watch out.  I knew that Mayor and HIPPA having on their vests that it would be a challenge.  So from then on when a “2” would drop, I’d Omaha and make it a 20 count of a the suit exercise.  Luckily the 2 of Diamonds didn’t fall!

We got through 5/6 of the deck before the group got back.  Great work by this crew.  Mayor pushed hard, brought the chatter.  You could tell HIPPA was concentrating and accepted every Kbell challenge.  Bandit was a workhorse, never a complaint, corrected form on me and the guys, and came up with a good interrupting exercise.  Duke was slugging it out, modifying and moving, never stopping for more than a few seconds.  Duke came out 4 weeks ago after I put the HC on him on a Friday night.  He has been to every Painlab since.  AYE!  We need more Dukes.

I’m glad the other Q’s encouraged Painlab to stay open.  You do get a workout, I’m glad to modify, and the fact that the last 3 weeks had 3 new Q’s for the lab is incredible.  Tell your buddies who want to modify exercises (I keep a list of alternates), their bodies don’t do well with running or other high-impact, or just want to work with weights to get stronger versus the cardio-centric bootcamp, then bring them along.  Our little circle gets bigger and smaller, over and over, but it’s there for the G-town Pax.  No one should have an excuse to not get-up on a Saturday, breath in the fellowship and fun that a workout can bring.

Thank you for the opportunity to serve F3.

Rudolph