F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Author: Sargento (page 1 of 7)

Bourbon Chase Van1…and 2

YHC started thinking of this thing soon after our last relay, the Tuna 200 in eastern NC last October. After identifying the relay it was noted that there is a lottery for getting a spot. You had to sign up for the lottery in February. The relay is in October… thankfully we got a spot. To say that we had this mapped out for a while is an understatement.

So its only fitting that we had a few kinks in the plan along the way, most of which were super close to the actual event. YHC came up lame with a hamstring issue, Stroganoff has had an ongoing respiratory problem (get better soon brother) so we needed to find a couple of replacements and to top things off the good Lord blessed us with a hurricane to see us off on our journey! Good times!!!

Thursday finally came and we were to meet at 10 in the remote lot on Frank’s property. Mayor beat YHC to the gravel spot in the drive by just a few seconds so I relocated Van 1 to the grass. Once everyone got there we were ready to shove off promptly at 10:30. Even though HIPAA was 30 minutes late, he made up for it with pumpkin gift baskets for all the runners in our van, complete with a bottle of Maker’s Mark! It had poured down rain for hours before we left so our fully loaded down van struggled to do more than plow through the soggy field but we eventually barely made it out to the road.

The drive out of town was crappy but once we got to the mountains the rain stopped and the rest of our drive was really nice. We made our first stop at the Zaxby’s in Waynesville for a lunch break. This is where YHC unveiled the gifts that were sure to calm any disagreements, inflammations or general Sandy V’s. The gift that keeps on giving, Down There wipes and Vagicaine ointment, for when things get a little itchy in the vans.

On we drove with nice blue skies up the interstates of Tennessee and Kentucky, hopped off to cut across to our first night’s stay place of Bardstown, KY. After checking in and debugging at least one of our beds, we walked, yes walked, at least 5 blocks to downtown in search of food. Since the Rickhouse was too high falutin for our crew we settled on Mammy’s Kitchen. It was good. On the way back some of us made a pit stop in the corner liquor store to see the local selection. It was good too.

We woke up the next morning after a good night’s sleep ready for our start at Jim Beam distillery. It was kind of chilly but perfect running weather. YHC led us off so Freight wouldn’t feel like we were taking it easy on him. I felt pretty good on my run and handed the slap bracelet to Quiche. Of course he crushed his run but somehow got blown away by some freak of nature running a sub 6 minute mile. Wojo took the baton for his run through downtown Bardstown. We drove ahead as usual to find our next stop was at the Heaven Hill Bourbon experience.

FREE BOURBON!!! The pre-race literature had to have reiterated there would be no drinking during the relay. These chicks must not have gotten that memo because they were pouring as much as you’d like to have. A couple of different bourbons including bourbon iced tea. My personal fav was Larceny. It was great. Basically we were not even done with leg 3 and already throwing down at 10:30 in the morning.

Back to the relay. Wojo motored up the ridiculously steep last hill to hand off to Edison. We followed and made the next exchange for Boudin to get going. His leg was insanely hilly, both up and downhill. Glad he’s such a bid deal and can handle it. He handed off to Broke somewhere in the middle of nowhere and we drove on to the big exchange zone, Maker’s Mark distillery. Broke handed off to Oompa Loompa and van 1’s first set was done.

FREE BOURBON!!! This place was pretty awesome. The next time you’re in KY and have time to drive to the middle of nowhere you should go to Maker’s Mark. Super nice facility and grounds, almost like a park. And they have bourbon.

We moseyed across the countryside to Danville, KY where the next big exchange zone was to happen. It was different than any other relay exchange zone I’ve been to because it was in a city, almost no green space to be found. Most of us in the van brought our vaginas so we spread out beside a drive through teller for some shuteye. Of course no one really slept, just rested mostly. Boudin went looking for beer because, well, he’s Boudin.

Once it was time to switch, YHC took the slap bracelet from Def Leppard to run 4.6 miles onto the quickly darkening route. I felt pretty good. Thanks Freight. Quiche, Wojo, Edison, Boudin.

Boudin handed off to Broke at the same place YHC took the slappy from Def. It started raining. Then it started raining harder. And it was dark. It was not good. We drove ahead to spend time with the other van. YHC made a visit to them and noticed there was a bit of angst going on. SV?

We switched off to Oompa and the drove through the pouring rain up to Lawrenceburg, home of Four Roses Distillery and Wild Turkey Distillery. This is where we tried to get some more shut eye. We were one of the first vans there so some of us snored in the van. Broke, Quiche and I slept outside beside a rackhouse. It’s funny how even though you’re super tired it never quite seems like you get to sleep. There’s always the Bang…boom boom of the port-a-potty door.

Freight came down the hill after a super hard leg to hand off to Wojo (we switched so his hips wouldn’t have to lie any more). Quiche went off for his super fast leg. YHC took the baton for a painful last one. Edison was a beast. Boudin went along through horse country on to Woodford Reserve which was a cool smaller distillery.

NO free bourbon. What’s up with that? They had coffee though.

Broke went off to the next EZ to meet van 2. He got there and handed off to Oompa. By this time we were all pretty much done with running, including van 2. Hang in there brothers.

Van 1 was done and hungry. We drove toward Lexington in search of grub, hopefully good stuff too. We settled on Denny’s…. Denny’s….Denny’s? Yes Denny’s. I’m not sure how we arrived at this choice but we did. It was an experience. YHC got a whole tray of water spilled toward me (some would say it was my fault but it wasn’t). After about 45 minutes of waiting for breakfast we got some food. Wojo’s wasn’t even cooked fully. Disaster…

We drove on to the finish area and actually found a great pizza place that served good beer right at the finish line. YES!!! There wasn’t much to do for a while and it was cold so we went back inside the mall area to hang out. Broke got pornographic on a bench. Had to be there.

Van 2 got in but got a call from Freight that he couldn’t go any further. HIPAA to the rescue! Van 2 rode him to switch with Freight. We made our way back to the finish to see HIPAA round the corner and the Van 2 wasn’t even back so YHC had to stop him from finishing so we could do it together as a team. After about 30 minutes (actually it was about 5) the others got to the finish and we crossed the line together as a team! AYE!!!

FREE BOURBON!!! Pretty cool finish experience where we sampled up to 4 different varieties. Too bad they weren’t selling that stuff.

We departed about 4:30 down the road to Richmond, home of Eastern Kentucky University. As luck would have it, I think we were part of the presidential motorcade to the university where president Trump was to hold a rally. Being the Gashouse crew that we are, we stopped on the interstate to let Edison drain his weasel. Now that’s funny! I think Trump even waived at him from the limo as he passed by.

Moleskin: I love you guys and relays are a unique way of spending good quality time together. Sorry so late for the backblast.


Death in a Box

YHC still hasn’t been posting much while training for the Bourbon Chase relay next week. Still, it’s important to keep up with that full body fitness that we all need. As such, YHC signed up for the Q on this day. A snag came up Saturday on a run when that stupid old hamstring started giving me some problems. What to do? Gotta Q. As everything seems to have a way of working out sometimes, the week before YHC finally received his very own officially licensed and produced Deck of Death from F3 that he’d ordered back in 2014 it felt like! Perfect non mosey type of stuff.

Here’s what I remember…

Warm Up:

Goof Balls x20 IC

Morrocan Night Clubs I think x20 IC

Dying Cockroaches I think x20 IC

The Thang:

Break out the deck, preshuffled of course. These cards are slippery. Our goal is to make it through the whole deck before time’s up.

The mission this time is to do whatever exercise is listed on the card, there was a lot of variety. Lots of different kinds of merkins, I know that much.

Number cards would be 10 reps.

Face Cards are 25 reps.

Aces were 100 reps of that one.

We made it through 44 of the cards, 8 left over. We’ll have to do better next time. Maybe we’ll skip the warmup next time.

Moleskin: Still love the deck of deck. The new version has several different kinds of workouts baked into it. We’ll explore more next time. Best thing about it is that it keeps us close together and almost helps create mumble chatter. Love it!

Prayer Requests: Breaker Breaker’s family, Orangeman’s daughter, Boudin’s brother in law

Announcements: Burpeethon was today at 9. Were you there? Christmastown 5k, Gilligan has VQ next week!


The few

On the day after our BRR team finished up a strong performance in the mountains, just a few guys made it out to the Teeter this morning.

The Thang:

We ran. A couple rucked.

Roscoe, Short Sale and YHC casually EH’ed a couple guys after our run. Then I had to leave. We’ll see if they come out with us sometime.


Last Chance

It was the 31 of the month and a bunch of HIMs showed to know what YHC had up my sleeve. Actually it was in my pocket!


Pledge of Allegiance

Warm Up:

Moroccan Night Clubs x15 IC

Air Shoulder Presses x15 IC super fast

Don Quixotes x15 IC for all the haters. Whoopee felt so strongly about these exercises that he decided to run around by himself instead of staying with the PAX for the workout. Hmmm.

Mosey through the streets of downtown Gashouse. Stop for a brief wall sit by the church, get some Rocky Balboas on the curb, wind around here and there until we arrive at the top of the parking deck for…

The Deck of Death: once of YHC’s favorites!

Spades – Peter Parkers

Diamonds – Derkins

Clubs – American Hammers

Hearts – Donkey Kicks

The deck of death works great for giving a great workout and also promoting plenty of mumblechatter. We were having so much fun that Whoopee felt left out and joined in about 2/3 of the way through. There were a couple of hiccups and their paying attention for their turn or counting for some veteran unnamed. That’s ok though, keep coming out, you’ll get the hang of it one of these days.

Mosey around downtown some more until we reached the start. Done

Prayer requests: Sly is deployed, safe travels for the holiday weekend, praise YHC’s M doesn’t need surgery

Announcements: JJ 5k September 22, Stop Suicide 5k, BRR needs a runner, Q vs Q September 14

It was a pleasure leading today men. It’s time for more PAX to take their turn at the helm of our workouts. You’ll be glad you did. Aye!


Who’s Ready?

Tuesday at the Storm and YHC was cutting it close on making it in time. Luckily everyone was in formation waiting for the Q. Aye!!!

I asked whether we had any FNG’s this morning because Freight sent word that there should be one. In my hurry to get started I either didn’t hear or ignored anyone say there was in fact and FNG, from now on to be known as Get a Grip. Super brief disclaimer was given, because there wasn’t an FNG right?

Warm Up:

Captain Morgans x5 IC each side (this was  fail, not to be repeated)

Cheerleaders x10 ICish

Freddy Mercurys x15IC

Pledge of Allegiance

Mosey down to the road to the speed humps. This is where YHC is informed that we actually do have an FNG. Disclaimer. Karaoke left from the 1st to 2nd, karaoke right from 2nd to 3rd, skip from 3rd to stop sign.

Gather up for a quick count off. Mosey 25 yards to the bottom of the big grass hill.

Everest: Lunge, lunge then squat until you reach the top. Repeato x3.

The Thang:

Elevens: Merkins at the top, run to the bottom to do Gorilla Humpers then bear crawl back to the top. Switch the reps until they’re all flapjacked.

Nur up the sidewalk to the artwork. Regular mosey after about halfway.

At the artwork, its time we get personal with a Menage:

Team up for groups of 3 to do work. While partner 1 exercises the other 2 run around the circle. Switch off at each lap until the team reaches 90 reps of each exercise.

Round 1 – Bobby Hurleys

Round 2 – Big Boy sit ups

Round 3 – CDDs

Time’s running out so we mosey back to the start. Once there we get in 30 Alternating Shoulder Taps to finish up.

Strong work today men, especially the FNG. AYE!

Prayer Requests: Leigh Anne Carpenter, Lynn Hamm, Breaker Breaker’s family, Tesla’s friend’s family on his passing, Slim Shady’s grandmother passing, FNG Get a Grip’s father in law blood infection

Announcements: several 5ks coming up, Burpeethon (you’re welcome @andrew_quinley), other stuff

Thanks for the opportunity to lead today men. Next week Boudin gets his shot.


Why don’t we get in shape together?

The PAX has been pushing the rock strong all summer while YHC has withered away and gotten soft because of his self induced study restriction. Well that stuff has thankfully passed for now so it’s time! Time to get back to prime F3 shape.

17 other courageous HIM’s made it out this morning expecting something. Maybe what YHC delivered was enough to satisfy them for another day.

A ragged disclaimer was given but it’s ok, everyone here is a veteran.

Warm Up:

Bobby Hurley’s x20 OYO (and you thought it would be Goofballs)

Nolan Ryan’s x20 IC each side

Long mosey around the block with some pauses for planks and such until we gather at the bridge.

Bear crawl the wooden part of the bridge then karaoke left to the other bridge. 5 burpees OYO.

Crab walk the flat bridge and feel the burn! Mosey back across then karaoke right to the other bridge and across.

Bear crawl the wooden part of the bridge again then skip, yes skip, to the other bridge. Not so easy after all, was it Sister Act?!?

Mosey down the incline to the parking lot for the Thang.

Partner up for Dora 123.

100 Merkins, 200 Squats & 300 LBCs. Partner 1 exercises while #2 runs to the other end of the parking lot. Feel the sweat!

By this time, the time was growing short so we started the longish mosey back to where we started. Dolph led some flutterkicks while we waited on the 6. Also something else after that but I forget.

Time! Great work men, it was a pleasure to be back and you’ll be seeing a lot more of me, at least until solitary study confinement takes me away again.



Prayer Requests: Lynn Hamm, Pastor Brunson in Turkey

Announcements: F3 Pack? this Saturday at 6:30, Wanderer’s expected baby!,

CSAUP on the 25th, Cookout on the 25th at Sargento’s ( please DM me whether you’ll be there or not),

Tubing on the 18th

Mt. Hollywood AO on Mondays


5 Principles

Today was a great day at the Gashouse. Boudin asked if there was any extra credit the night before. Why not? When we got the Schiele there were already cars in the lot. Quiche and Sargento were already putting the miles in. Boudin, Stroganoff, and YHC went out at 0615 sharp for a little more than 3 mile run through Sherwood Forest before the workout. When we returned we found Linus and Rudolph doing some EC kettlebell work. Strong work!

Monk rolled in and said he had an FNG coming today. He was true to his word. We also had another FNG that rolled in with Tandem. At 0700 sharp I made sure to place extra stress on the disclaimer, especially the “U vs U” part and the “modify as needed”. We welcomed both and started with a pretty standard warmup. Apparently YHC doesn’t say “in cadence” and that deeply offended Quiche who was making strong mumblechatter about it. (He knew it was in cadence all along!)

Warm up: SSH, Squats, IW, LBC’s

Pain Lab PAX (8) split and went with Sargento and the boot camp PAX (12) went with Roscoe. We moseyed to the flag for the Pledge and set off to the back of the library.

Thing One: At the bottom do 5 burpees. Run towards the library up two sets of stairs for 10 squat jumps at the top. Run back down for 5 more burpees and then back up for 9, 8, 7, 6…1 jump squats. Kudo’s to Stroganoff for stressing the modify part with the 6. Boudin graciously followed orders and led some Mary and plank while the rest of us mortals finished up. Now for a word…We covered the 5 core principals of F3.

From 12 Rules for Life and Dr. Jordan B. Peterson…”Do one thing every day to improve yourself.” For the guys present this was probably accomplished already.

We then moseyed through the neighborhood to the Sherwood School track. The gate was closed. “Somebody is going to have to go back and get a sh*&load of dimes!” Quiche had to head out early so he moseyed back.

We opened the gate and continued our mosey to the playground for:

Thing Two: Murph Training

8 Pullups, 20 Merkins, 30 squats, run a lap x 3. Then…

Word #2 from Dr. Peterson…

“Treat Yourself As If You Were Someone You Were Responsible For Helping” “He whose life has a why can bear almost any how.”

You could help direct the world, on its careening trajectory, a bit more toward Heaven and a bit more away from Hell. Once having understood Hell,” particularly your own individual Hell” you could decide against going there or creating that. You could aim elsewhere. You could, in fact, devote your life to this. That would give you a Meaning, with a capital M. That would justify your miserable existence.

You could begin by treating yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for helping.

Thing #3. Five minutes of plank

Plank on elbows, arms, downward dog, while we discussed life.

During this time we learned that Monk is a counselor for teen girls and he was going to use the “He whose life has a why can bear almost any how.” Being the gracious guy I am I told him I would share my weinke with him after the workout. (I didn’t of course)

YHC asked for any news from the PAX while we were holding the plank and we learned that Yo Pauley is going on a mission trip and that Yo Adrian is driving. It is nice to see our younger PAX being true #HIM’s.

Mosey to church field. YHC asked Linus what he wanted to do out of respect for him being the new site Q. His choices were 50 burpees in 5 minutes or partner Dora. He wisely said partner Dora and the crowd of PAX went wild with adoration and praise.

Dora: Partner Up P1 runs up the hill to the other side of parking lot, P2 does…then switch

50 monkey humpers

100 seal jacks

150 Squats* *Somewhere around this time we had to jailbreak back to home due to time. We circled up at the Schiele and started the 200 Flutter Kicks to finish off the workout. The Pain Lab Pax rejoined the circle and joined in. YHC shared the theme of the day and concluded with “Hang around people who want what is best for you.” Again, I think the F3 guys have that covered.

Boudin showed his lack of decorum by questioning why we didn’t stop when his watch said 0800. All the regulars had to set him straight because they all knew the workout isn’t over until the First Presbyterian bells hadn’t rung yet!

Welcome FNG “Clear!” and “Friar”.

Nice to see the guys make a great effort today. There wasn’t a lot of mumble chatter. It is amazing how quickly an hour goes by when you are Q’ing a workout. We had so much more to do yet so little time!

We had 5 for Coffeerama at Panera. Mayor asked Yo Adrian what he does for a living. As he was explaining that he does instant replay for live sports, Yo Pauley said “He pushes colorful buttons”. #truth

YHC closed in prayer.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead as always.


Painlab  by Sargento (completed on the same day!!!)

So after Roscoe’s group split the Painlab crew moseyed to YHC’s M’s brick carrier to grab the coupons for today’s workout. Unlike other more elaborate Q’s, YHC like things to be straightforward and to the point. We’re going to use bricks today and that’s it!

Once we grabbed our gear, we moved to Frank’s Fortress of Solitude, popped in some rockin’ tunes and threw down the Thang.

The Deck of Death!!!

Nothing is better for creating great mumble chatter than going round and round picking cards anticipating what pain will be dealt next. It almost seems like DoD was created specifically for Painlab because you don’t have to run or have impact if you don’t want to. Here’s how it went.

Spades = Merkins

Hearts = Shoulder Presses

Diamonds = Back Flys

Clubs = Step Ups (each leg)

It was a lot of fun going through the deck especially when we’d get stuck on one deck for a few draws in a row. Feel the burn! Because we had several newer PAX and an FNG today, YHC made sure to cover the 5 Principles of F3 many times (completely independent of Roscoe) to help the men have a deeper understanding of who we are. Pretty sure all in attendance can recite all 5 now.

Once the DoD was done, we move on to a new routine YHC came across in his studies the night before…

The Bruce Lee

Do these exercises consecutively in cadence to 20 reps each:

American Hammers, Leg Raises, LBCs, Dying Cockroaches, Crunchy Frogs and 100s

We did almost two rounds of this before time was up to join the others.

It was a pleasure to lead today men. I look forward to get back to the Painlab soon.


Preblast – 2nd F Tubing on Saturday

All PAX and families! Tubing this Saturday will happen in two waves.

The first wave will leave from Target in Gastonia at 11:00. This group will plan to do either the short or long session of tubing. ToolTime is not the Q but will help coordinate that group.

The second wave will leave from Target at 1:00. This group will do only the short session of tubing. Sargento is Q so contact him with any questions.

This is the AO location:

Green River Cove Tubing – 5200 Green River Cove Rd, Saluda, NC 28773  

(828) 749-3781


Who needs a map?

Monk asked me to Q the Pub about a month ago. This was my first chance to do so due to my schedule. Be careful what you ask for. Some PAX had done extracurricular work earlier in the week and it was said that their arms “hurt too much to run”. YHC says there is no such thing! #sandyv

Pledge of Allegiance

Mosey, in fellowship formation, through the neighborhood where PTL, Spud and probably others live. The PAX was concerned that YHC didn’t know where we were going. Pfftt! As if!!! It was a pretty twisty, turning route, I’ll give you that. That’s why we had an experienced guide and a map men. Also I figured that because it was uncharted territory for most we would probably stay together. This was the case which allowed for a high degree of conversation, banter and encouragement. It was almost like a 2nd F event, my specialty. We finally made it back to the start. Great work men!

Announcements: Several 4th of July events out of region

Prayer Requests: college kids preparing for the journey, Boudin’s son’s shoulder


Action Heros

On this morning at Goat Island 13 men showed to know what the first workout of summer would bring. It’s the longest day of the year, hours of daylight that is, and this is the best way to get things off to a great start. YHC was wondering where the Mayor was and almost immediately he texted that he was on his way. Good job not fartsacking your highness.


Don Quixotes x15 IC

High Knees x15 IC

Moroccan Night Clubs x25 IC

Pledge of Allegiance

Let’s take a lap around the block. Wrap the mosey up at the base of the bridge. On the concrete part Crab Walk, wooden part Bear Crawl, then Crab Walk the rest of the concrete. Feel the burn! Fellowship mosey back to the other side for a quick history lesson on F3 Gashouse’s rich history of kayaking expertise on the South Fork.

Now that that’s over lets get back to it. Mosey across the street for the Thang.

The Charles Bronson – there was a time in the 80’s when Charles Bronson was a bad dude who starred in  several action movies. YHC hasn’t seen one minute of any of those movies or even be able to name one but there is an F3 routine named after him so lets give it a try.

At the bottom end of the grassy area downtown, sprint from the sidewalk up to even with the shovel flag. Once there do an army crawl up to the other sidewalk. At the sidewalk perform 50 Side Straddle Hops. Mosey back to the start and repeato but switch the exercise at the top each time for: 50 Merkins, 50 Burpees (this really sucked), 50 LBCs, 50 Jump Squats.

Take a lap around downtown but stop at the Gazebo of Pain to get shredded in the core area. On your six!

Flutterkicks x25 IC

Dying Cockroaches x25 IC

Oblique Crunches x17 IC each side

Repeato each for 3 rounds total. Oh yeah, that was grate!

Time’s up.

Prayer Requests: Tesla’s friend Mike Jenkins was in a car accident

Announcements: Tubing on the Green River July 14th – DM Sargento if you want to go, whole family is welcome!

My apologies for the delayed BB again men, I’ll do better with my timeliness. Until next time, Sargento is out!

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