With football as the most popular sport, it is a fair estimate that most, if not all of our PAX are excited for the various seasons to begin. Two weeks of high school games have been completed; college begins Labor Day with the NFL opening the week after. A demanding game which requires year round conditioning but really increases a month before the season with training camps, many of them having dreaded “two-a-days.” With the GasHouse slot open an idea sparked and I grabbed the Q. As a scrawny 130 pound teenager with a few broken arms on my medical history, my body was not designed for the grid iron. Sure there was neighborhood two hand touch and later in college, intramural flag-football, but I never had the pleasure to experience the cardio beat-downs under a piercing sun, in a helmet and pads. With that in mind, I researched various drills designed to make boys into men and men into, well tougher men.
Missing from the plan was the heat, a pleasant reprieve from the August humidity, it was a relatively nice mid-70’s. I arrived to join Hushpuppy and Shrink in a 3rd F lesson about Jonah and the challenges he faced. Slowly cars began to fill the parking lot and the circle formed with two FNG’s. The disclaimer was emphasized: “the QIC’s will provide suggestions and you may choose the follow them; modify as needed; find your limit and challenge yourself when you can. I threw a bit of a twist into the warm-up asking the PAX to get on their knees (shut-up and get your mind out of the gutters…)
Warm-up
- Child’s pose Merkins (hands stretched out front, put your butt on your heels; move forward into plank, 1 merkin. Back to start with butt to heels, forward for 2 merkins. We built to 5. A slow starter that gently stretches the shoulders. Some mumble chatter about knees on asphalt achieved desired affect).
- Don Quixote – IC x 10
- Toy Soldier – IC x 10
- Seal Jacks – IC x 10
That was it; not as fast as a Whoopee warm-up, but pretty quick. The PAX separated with five following Rudolph for the Pain Lab and 11 coming with me, but pausing to pay our respects at the flag with The Pledge. We continued up the sidewalk making our way to the Grier Middle School football field, picking up the bucket of water left by the Q. In researching the workout two things were noticeable, a practice plan and water breaks. In honor of Brownstreak, the Weinke or Practice Plan was distributed for review. With full disclosure, the PAX would know the exercises and the reps so they could manage their pace. A quote was provided at the top of the page: “I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.” Bear Bryant. The practice plan was intentionally hard and challenging.
The Thang:
Slaughter Starter
- 20 Burpees OYO ; Run to the 50 yd line; plank for 6
- When last man arrives, yell “go”; team performs 10 merkins OYO
- Run to the goaline, plank for the 6
- Rest/Repeat
Snake
- Line up on left side of goal line (single file), follow Q
- Karioke Left to Right; NUR to the 10 yd line
- Karioke Right to Left; NUR to the 20, etc. continue to the 50
Gut Busters
- Line across the 50 yard line; High Knees in place
- Q calls for 10 up/downs (burps) OYO;
- With high knees, move forward to 40 yd line
- Q calls for 10 merkins OYO
- Continue pattern until reaching goal line
Boo-yah Merkins – partner up
- Partners face each other on opposite sides of 20 yd line
- Perform 10 merkins, alternating shoulder taps on partner
- Partners run opposite directions 20 yards, perform 20 squats
- Partners return to 20 yard line; 10 merkins, etc.
- Aggregate team total of 100 merkins/200 squats (If you went to Chapel Hill, that’s 5 rounds)
Shuttle Drills
- Q called for P2 to rest but Pele began SSH’s so the resting partners joined in and removing the rest.
- P1 begins at the 50 yd line; Q signals to ‘go’
- P1 sprints right to 45 line, then left to the opposite 45 yd line, then returns to the start. Switch – 3 rounds per man
Water break – PAX sprinted to the bucket of water bottles. Q informed them there were 10 minutes left and this was the gut check time, to finish strong.
Walk – Jog – Sprint
- Line up on the goal line
- Walk to the 10 yd line; Begin jogging to 30, Sprint to the 50
- Perform 10 CDD’s, 10 plank jacks, 10 in/outs in successive order
- Perform this circuit three times
Slaughter Finisher
- Begin at goal line, 2 burpees OYO
- Run 10 yards, 2 burpees
- Repeat pattern until reaching the opposite goal line
Jailbreak to the parking lot for Mary where Rudolph and his crew were waiting. Since I had the warm-up, Rudolph took the closing 5 minutes. I’m a little fuzzy on all the exercises and reps as the PAX choice was invoked. From what I recollect we did: LBC’s, Flutter Kicks for a pretty good bit with the Q slowing, speeding up and holding various counts. The Warden (a real football coach) led us in leg raises, toying with the PAX on a few hold counts as well. The Bandit was called upon and surprised us when he didn’t announce his favorite dying coach roach but 10 Burpees! Mumble chatter flowed until the bells rang and the workout was complete.
The Mayor arrived with his M and 2.0’s to accept applications for The Burpee Workout (9/16 at 9:00 am). We made note of the JJ 5k. Prayers were lifted for T-Square and his M. Smalls and Papa John found some poison ivy as young boys often can, prayers for their healing (and less itching). We then named our FNG’s. Rudolph EH’ed his neighbor, Joe Sherrill for three years with this morning being the payoff. Joe pushed for a cool name and nearly paid the price but the PAX were kind naming him as Over the Top (Joe runs a trucking company). Next is Max Rheinson, a member of Gaston County Police department whose favorite restaurant (or the last one visited) will be known as Bo Berry. YHC closed us out in prayer.
Moleskin
As stated, Training Day was designed to be a tough workout for any PAX. For the real football players, the grueling two-a-days transform into daily practices and weekly games which fans can appreciate from the comforts of their recliners or live in the stadium. The single hour of punishment we experienced pales in comparison to the boys and men in uniform on the field of play. That is something to keep in mind as we cheer our respective teams this season. My daughter plays soccer and I’ve been guilty of cheering a little too hard. While we all want our kids to experience the highs of success, we need to appreciate the opportunities to enjoy and learn from their competitions whether its dancing, running, swimming…any type of performance. I’ve witnessed overweight adults with large rear ends planted in chairs, taking a break from their chips and soft drinks to scream at their kids, identifying their mistakes in front of others. Imploring their kid (and sometimes others) to run faster when their own fitness is challenged by a walk from the field to the car. So Training Day reminds us of the challenge athletes of all ages face. We should strive to appreciate their efforts; cheer the positive and support through the negative. Those players are doing their best, just like all of us. The late Joe Paterno once shared with his Penn State team: “Today, you’ve got a decision to make. You’re gonna get better or you’re gonna get worse, but you’re not gonna stay the same. Which will it be?”