Concerned about Hurricane Florence YHC was unsure of how the weather was going to cooperate. Most luckily for all of us the only storm for us was a Q battle. The idea was brought to YHC via Roscoe due to his diligent adherence to F3 Podcasting. We discussed, incorporated Hippa for his technical prowess and hand selected our two dueling Q’s, Whoopee and Short Sale. Weeks prior to launching the idea on Twitter the roast explosion was roiling between the two. YHC arrived around 6:15 feeling good about owning my AO only to find the Folsom guys on hand gearing up for some EC. They were gone before I could find a place to park and that left me in the dark with final preparations. Shovel flag (without flag for now) planted, speaker set, pre-weinke on hand, time for some EC myself. Stop on the track to help Whoopee move some coupons, I knock out a few merkins, get back to the Schiele. Nice PAX count, 7:00, let’s go.
Pray In: I felt compelled to pray for F3 and areas affected by Hurricane Florence.
Warm Up:
SSH – 20 in cadence
Squats – 20 in cadence
Merkins – 10 in cadence
LBC’s – 20 in cadence
Disclaimer:
Ummmm, guess this should have come first.
Count off, counter clockwise, would have made Oompa proud. 39 Pax, 39!!!!!
From somewhere came a little known theme song to Rocky to get the guys pumped. Time for the main event, Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!!!!!
In this circle, with no weigh in, he’s easy going, enjoy’s long walks on the beach, never trusts people who smile, his four most adored words are “I told you so”, his friends say he loses count during cadence, a virtual Land Leviathan, Pax put your hands together for Whoopee!!!!!!!
Enter Whoopee in a Ric Flair flashback and soon to be shirtless
In this circle, also with no weigh in, he works hard and naps hard, enjoys walks in the park and going to the Pub on Sundays for a roast dinner, never misses a good chance to shut up, often curious about another word for Thesaurus, he claims he is not shy but is holding back his awesomeness so he does not intimidate, a virtual calisthenics virtuoso, Pax put your hands together for Short Sale!!!!!!
Let it be known that I did not explain this below, sort of forgot. However, this is the construct on which the QVQ model is designed.
Q’s will be competing in two intermittent ten minute increments. 1-2 minutes for both will be allowed for introduction and explanation. I will finish out the Q if time allows near the end. Voting will be online and the Q challenge criteria is as follows:
Best Beatdown
Best Creativity
Best Pax Engagement
Referee brings the two to the center of the Ring:
Boys, I’ve explained the rules to you in the locker room, I want a clean fight, protect yourselves at all times, no hitting below the belt, I want a clean fight, When I say break let’s knock hands and go back to your circle.
Whoopee:
Q vs Q When I was asked to participate in this, I immediately thought “Holy Nuts, me against ShortSale???” I knew it would be a challenge and I am always looking for the next challenge to push myself so I don’t think I really hesitated. Plus, when Linus and/or Roscoe have an idea and ask for you to help, there is no answer other than yes. I started planning and over the next few weeks, modified my plans several times. These alterations were prompted by Twitter comments or “sympathy votes” on the Twittersphere….ultimately, iron was being sharpened without me realizing it and in retrospect this was a very good thing for all of us, especially me.
Linus presented us to the PAX-this was expected and was something I needed to try to get in front of ShortSale if possible. I pulled together an old wig, cut up a shirt to make biceps straps reminiscent of the 1980’s wrestlers (Randy Savage, RIP-step into a slim jim- comes to mind for me), and had Broke put on the finishing touches on my shirt with his pocket knife. At the right time, I slipped on the wig and stepped aggressively towards ShortSale with a stone face. Once I had his attention (I could tell by the big smile on his face), I attempted to rip off my shirt. It came partway off, but I just couldn’t close the deal. Eventually I just pulled it off and threw it on the ground in his direction I think. The wig stayed in place and I achieved the desired effect. The introduction continued by Linus and then we started our beatdown.
We moseyed to the football field for the instructions. I quickly explained my part: I put together a workout related to the movie Smokey and the Bandit. It involved Bandit and Snowman, Sheriff Justice and Junior, a funeral procession, and Smack your momma right in the mouth.
We started with partnering up and a run to the other side of the field to pick up a coupon. This was to simulate the main part of the movie where the Bandit and Snowman race from Georgia to Texas to pick up a truck full of Coors beer in less than 28 hours. The pax were warned that whatever coupon they picked up, that was their coupon and that the appearance as far as weight might be deceiving. The 2 partners would then run to start with the coupon and then back for a total of 4 trips with the coupon. If all the coupons were taken, they would have to carry their partner. I knew I had enough coupons but this did prompt a quick move to the starting line as the pax jockeyed for good positions.
The next part was called Sheriff Justice and Junior. Partway through the movie, the police car loses the top after running under an 18 wheeler truck. Junior has to hold his father’s hat on his father’s head while they are in hot pursuit of the Bandit. We then made 2 trips across the field with one pax holding his hand on his partner’s head while running.
We moved on to the funeral procession (another part of the movie). All pax got in plank position in a line on the field. First pax (thanks Blart) jumped up, did 5 monkey humpers, then ran to the front of the line and got back into plank position. Each pax in turn repeated this. Pizza Man wanted a tunnel of love, but I would have none of it…well maybe a little. I crawled under him during my mosey to the front and he (thankfully) returned the favor on his mosey. Once we had sufficient time, we proceeded with the final part of the beatdown. The pax were warned about the last part called “Smack your momma right in the mouth.” We moseyed to the wall and instructions were given. Bandit and Snowman had 28 hours to get the beer back to Georgia so we focused on the number 28-get on the wall and let’s do 28 HIP SMACKERS. The only person I saw smiling was Slaw…..maybe this was not such a good idea. We got going and honestly, by 15 I was smoked. I had Toto next to me and he was yelling out the cadence like a champ. I could hear the other pax in the background and this is when the “Q Power” kicked in for me. We got to 28 and I was finished. Round 1 completed.
Round 2: first movie choice: Raising Arizona. I have to say I was disappointed in the pax on this-blank stares went I mentioned this movie. Billy Madison, why did you leave me????? No problem, I can do this. I gave a brief summary of HI McDonough and Edwina slipping up in yon window to steal a baby from the Arizonas. The child was likely Nathan jr, not Harry, Barry, Larry, or Garry (these were the names of the Arizona Quintuplets in the movie). I used the 5 kids as my model for the next exercise-Triple Nickel: 5 trips up the stairs with 5 flutter kicks per child (total 25 flutters) at the bottom, 5 cliff hanger derkins at the top. Hands on the wall, partner lifts legs above his head, and first partner does 5 derkins. Both partners do 5 derkins each trip up. The one catch on this was no running up the stairs-you could only hop up the stairs. This sounded worse than it ended up being (in my opinion) and we got through with a few minutes to spare…..
Next movie, 300. There is a part in this movie where the Spartans build a wall near the hot gates of Thermopylae and use bodies of the attacking Persians to help form the wall. Our next exercise would be the Hip Slapper Wall of Thermopylae. The pax form a somewhat tight circle. Roughly every other pax drops to the ground and the rest of the pax grab ankles while the first pax does hip slappers. We did 2 rounds each-thanks Defib and Tiger for calling cadence on your rounds. This ended the beatdown and we moseyed to start for some final words and COT.
Great job everyone. A big thank you to Linus and Roscoe for orchestrating this and for ShortSale for pushing me. I mentioned at the end that I really didn’t get this until about 1 week ago. I was focusing on trying to beat ShortSale. We were talking at church 1 week ago and it finally clicked with me-this is about all of us getting better-focus on that and all will work out better. Iron Sharpening Iron at work
Short Sale:
Rivalries have existed since the beginning of time. We’ve read about them in recorded history. We’ve experienced them with the schools we attend or support. Is there such a thing as a “friendly rivalry?” Maybe, but for that to exist, there must be an undertone of mutual respect among the teams and the fans. Such is the case for this epic event, Gastonia’s first ever Q verses Q; Short Sale verses Whoopee. It’s a unique spot for me because Whoopee was one of the key people that EH’ed me into this brotherhood, so there is a bit of trepidation to face off against him. Thankfully it was not a classic WWE Loser Leave Town match. Different than a true physical challenge among gladiators (Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?), I treated this more like a golf match. Whoopee and I are playing the same course in the same conditions. So really it was about bringing your A game. Linus and Roscoe laid the ground rules to deliver a beatdown based on creativity, physical challenge, and teamwork. I emptied the tank on my two segments. They went like this:
Share the Burden
At the bottom of the Grier track, the PAX are divided into teams of 4 men with each team having an 8′ landscape post as their coupon. P1 lunge walks with the post over their shoulder. P2, P3, and P4 perform 5 burpees then run to catch P1. Everyone rotates through, lunge walking with the post two times and a total of 30 burpees (or close to it). Plank when finished to wait for all groups to complete. Round II had the teams on their six with the post across their chests with the Q calling 50 Big Boy Sit Ups. The first 15 or 20 seemed to go okay, then the groans and chatter ratcheted up. Plank when finished and remain in plank for Round III. P1 and P2 planked with the post across their backs. P3 and P4 were “suggested” to perform 20 derkins with their feet on the post. During the design of this Weinke, I was unable to test this part fully, so it seems modifications were required for three PAX to plank with only one doing derkins. Keep that in mind if you try this one. With about a minute left, Round IV asked P1 and P2 to get in a low squat holding the post a few inches off the ground to have P3 and P4 hop over 10 times total.
At the COT I read from the Gospel of Mark 8:27-29 and verse 34 with the key verse of Jesus asking the crowd “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Then later in Mark, Chapter 15:16-21 is the story where Jesus has been sentenced and the soldiers beat and mock him. As Jesus struggles to carry the estimated 80 lb beam, the one his hands would soon be nailed, the soldiers call Simon of Cyrene from the gathered crowd, witnessing this history. Simon stepped in to help Jesus with his burden. Symbolically, we carried a post this morning. It wasn’t much of a struggle as it only weighed a few pounds. But if we take up the cross to follow Jesus, the opportunities are plentiful. In another gesture, the PAX worked, then chased their fellow man to take their turn carrying the load for the team. Striving to be HIMs for our families and communities, we work to share the burden, supporting and leading. Nice job by the PAX on this one. So be aware of when you need to step from the crowd, to pick up the cross.
Splash Merlot
Our next segment had us travel to First Presbyterian Church, under the lower portico where instructions attempted to be provided. The PAX were full of mumble chatter at this point. There was a cooler and storage bin which the PAX thought maybe, just maybe I may have re-cycled the 99 Bottles of Beer workout from this summer. Sorry – not this time. The containers were full of plain old water. The challenge was provided for the PAX to partner again and individually perform 10 LBC’s, 10 Mountain Climbers, & 10 SSH’s. Then the PAX would grab a cup to dip into the water, not to drink but to hold in their mouth as they moseyed up the hill to the next portico. There the PAX were instructed to perform 6 partner merkins, then spit the water into a bucket; return to start and repeat for the 10 minutes.
There are multiple reasons for this silly, CSAUP-ish routine. Holding in water in your mouth while running and doing a short physical exercise is an anaerobic activity that reduces oxygen flow to your muscles, increasing the stress on your body. With your mouth full of water, you had to breathe through your nose which is likely something you don’t practice very often. Life can be uncomfortable at times that requires you to adjust to the situation. Secondly, I really hoped to see a few spew as they ran up the hill but we only ended up with a few unnamed PAX trying to spit water on each other like it was an grammar school field trip. But that did lead to the mumble chatter I’d hoped to invoke culminating with Whoopee dumping the container of water on Tooltime. So most of my goals were accomplished.
As Whoopee shared in the COT, today wasn’t about winning QvsQ, but more about pushing the PAX through the challenges we created. The showing by the PAX was impressive given the circumstances and conditions our community is facing. To have the other AO’s close and converge resulting in 40 men gathered was a good thing for our region. Hopefully all that participated got their money’s worth. I know that I did. Until the next time, it was an honor to Q.
Announcements:
Tuesday-Charlotte-Selwyn Elementary – Horse, F3’s oldest member will be honorary Q celebrating his 80th birthday
Both Speed for Need and JJ 5K will be held next weekend, 9/15. More PAX need to sign up
10/6 – Burpeethon – Only 14 signed up so far, please go online and sign up
The Yank will plan to start at 6:30 next weekend in prep’s for Speed for Need or JJ5K road closures
Monk – Whetstone program, please see him for any questions or to sign up. He will post additional links online for sign ups.
Concerns:
Sly in Afghanistan
Tooltime family friend (LeeAnn) at CMC, kidney failure
Jackie (Mayor’s M) – No updates at time
Dennis family for loss
Hacksaw’s Father – in – Law
For a Brother’s health concerns
For all those affected by Hurricane Florence
Many thanks to Roscoe, Hippa, Short Sale and Whoopee for bringing this event to life.
Brother’s it was an honor to lead and close today. Many thanks to all who supported our event. Honored to have Folsom and The Yank join The Gashouse. Whoopee and ShortSale really brought their A-game today, hat’s off to both.
Until next time……Linus, aye.