F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Author: Short Sale (Page 18 of 20)

GasHouse National – Round II, The Course Wins

July 2, 2017 / / 0 Comments

A little more than a year ago, I accepted my first Q at the GasHouse, ready to present a unique beat-down where golf was the theme. The groundskeeper intended for the PAX to have a challenge, blowing up on holes with high scores resulting in high reps of the exercises. What occurred in 2016 was akin to the Bob Hope Classic with the PAX blistering the course with under par scores, much to the chagrin of YHC.

Earlier in the week Stroganoff reminds the PAX the GasHouse is open for 7/2. Amid a popular vacation time and competing with the Nomads and Tool Time’s new man-crush Tolken showing off the Speed for Need chairs at the Yank, I accepted the opportunity to boast the re-designed GasHouse National. Consulting and studying with famed architects, the new layout would be tougher with restricted flight “balls”, added length, tougher pins to reach, higher reps of exercises, and a new second shot that brought in the strategic element to consider laying up instead of going for the green.

Upon completing the course set-up, I arrived in the parking lot of the GasHouse with 8 minutes to spare. Hushpuppy concluded his 3rd F with JJ, Stroganoff, and JK2. Heyzeus, DaVinci drove into the lot and we had a young whipper-snapper, DaVinci “EH-ing” his 13 year old son Jack as our FNG. This combination gave us a perfect number for two four-somes that would tackle the course but first, a brief disclaimer, probably more for the senior aged PAX than our new young member, full of energy. First exercise was announced:  “Side-Straddle-Hops in cadence x 10.” Once that concluded, “Let’s mosey” was called. Whoopie would have loved it, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe fart-sacking on vacation, starting a new twitter war, or listening to George Strait. Hey but for the PAX under my command, we moseyed to the flag to honor Old Glory and all the freedom it represents, then the scenic route to the back of the Library for an extended warm-up.

Circle up and begin SSH, each PAX would drop for 5 merkins in order. Once that round concluded, we went to 5 LBC’s. This got the heart rate moving upward and I was happy to hear some exasperation as the SSH’s continued steadily for a few minutes. One last round, this time for each PAX to perform slow squats while each man (boy), dropped for a 10 count Flutter Kick (got to keep Stroganoff happy). Then it was on to the main event with a jog along Churchill Dr and left on Carmen, a slow incline that Gastone would love the chance to employ. While waiting for the 6, JK2 lead some plank-work, AYE!.

The Q had multiple responsibilities, course set-up, rules official, tournament director, and player. Here is the format for those following at home. We had two four-man teams to play a modified captain’s choice. At the tee, one member of the team would throw a bean-bag (cornhole bag) for their drive. Each man would lunge walk to the bag and then throw their second shot toward the flag. A new “shot” was the Burpee Long jump and this did bring the mumble chatter, even among my own team. The challenge for this “shot” was if the team decided to lay-up, it would increase the number of reps once arriving at the hole, the ultimate risk/reward which for those that enjoy the real game of golf, may appreciate – that is if they are able to lift their arms when the day was complete. There were nine holes of various lengths with par set at 36. For the number of shots it took to arrive at the hole, that number was multiplied by the number of reps for the exercise so 4 shots x 10 merkins required the individual PAX to do 40 merkins. The shots were:

  1. Lunge walk
  2. Burpee Long jump
  3. Bear crawl
  4. Crab walk
  5. Zombie walk
  6. Skip

The holes were:

  1. Par 4 – American Hammers x 10
  2. Par 4 – Squats x 10
  3. Par 5 – Merkins x 10
  4. Par 3 – Derkins x 10
  5. Par 5 – Flutter kicks x 10
  6. Par 4 – CDD’s x 10
  7. Par 4 – Pull-ups x 5
  8. Par 3 – Dips x 10
  9. Par 4 – Burpees x 5

 

Moleskin

The guys pushed hard, complaining a little but earning their scores. As with any Weinke, there is always something to learn from. The 2017 course was as challenging as a US Open at Winged Foot or Oakmont. The allotted time expired before the event could be completed with each team at +2 when the horn sounded. The PAX appeared beaten, but not defeated. Another version of this event is likely to appear in the near future. It brings out camaraderie amid the competition (you verses you). The only thing missing is the beer cart girl, stay tuned for the time and place.

 

COT

We had some challenge to name our FNG, DaVinci’s oldest (Jack Smith) entering the 8th grade at Cramerton Middle. We tried the typical methods of favorite cartoons and food. Ended up with his favorite subject being history. Something about the PAX or the FNG being indecisive had us pondering a bit until JJ states: “Neville Chamberlain” former Prime Minister of the UK; that’s like a 40 foot swish at the end of the shot clock by JJ’s namesake.  We lifted prayers for a friend of JK2 and all the Police, Fire, Medic, Doctors and Nurses on call this weekend to help those that are injured, as well as safe travels.

For those unable to attend, begin to sharpen your respective games. Hopefully you will soon have a chance to test your skills against the infamous GasHouse National.

Maintain Expectations

June 19, 2017 / / 0 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve posted at Martha’s House on a Monday. I’m excluding The Murph since that was a holiday. My M typically attends her boot camp classes on Monday’s and Wednesday’s leaving me to fill the gaps on my own or at other AO’s. As the Region’s Weasel Shaker, I’ve been monitoring the good things going on each week. When Gastone offered the spot to Q, the temptation was too hard to resist. I humbly asked my M for permission for the early morning am spot on our shared calendar and she gratuitously stepped aside. Maybe something to do with Father’s Day, or quite possibly the speech Whoopee gave at the belated After Christmas (but still before the next Christmas) Party. Whatever it was, I was free and clear.

As I went to work on my Weinke, I knew I needed to bring a steady diet of challenge that would make our Site Q proud and willing to extend another invitation to Q, hopefully not five months between (that was on me). This famous hill I’ve read so much about was incorporated along with another promise to Whoopee to carve at least one song from my playlist of 80’s hair trash/metal for a little George Strait. I had a few other ideas brewing that I needed an ideal PAX divisible by 3. As fate would have it, 9 men stumbled into the gloom. No FNG’s though I was happy to see Dr. Feelgood off IR and in the circle. With that, the disclaimer was “modify as needed, don’t get hurt.” The warm-up didn’t waste any time to get the heart rate up; 50’s seconds to complete the following:

  • 5 Burpees
  • 10 High Knees (5 each leg)
  • 10 Butt Kickers
  • 10 Mountain Climbers
  • 10 SSH
  • Repeat 4 more times for total of 5

Pledge

Mosey to Gastone’s hill a little more than a half mile. Partner into three-somes for a mé·nage à trois of pain. Partner 1 remains at the bottom of the hill to perform flutter kicks; Partner 2 travels to the to top of the hill to perform merkins; Partner 3 sprints up the hill. After each run, the partners exchange positions (and if you want your dirty mind to drift into that realm of perverseness, well, that’s on you). As I was describing…everyone goes AMRAP on the exercises with each PAX completing three laps. The only mumble chatter was Whoopee belaying Geddy Lee’s high pitched falsetto in ‘Anthem.’  Sorry, only one George Strait song on my phone. There was heavy breathing as we gathered for a recovery at the bottom of the hill and I didn’t have any words of wisdom to share to bide the time. So we took inventory around the circle of each man’s highlight from Father’s Day. For 8 of us, it was a lunch or dinner with our family. Gastone watched Tombstone with his M and 2.0; he was declared the winner.  Time to move.

Up Riverwood Parkway toward Union and hanging a left into the Dollar General parking lot for a light version of Insanity. Three exercises to be completed over 30 seconds with a half minute breather in between.

Set 1

  • Lt. Dans
  • Step-out Merkin (begin in high plank; right arm/leg move out for Werkin; return to plank, then move left arm/leg out for another Werkin; return to plank)
  • American Hammer
  • Repeat

Set 2

  • Lunge jump – 15 seconds right/15 seconds left
  • Cross-fit Merkins
  • Crunchy Frogs
  • Omaha’ed second round

Mosey to the old Harris Teeter for some wall work. The timer was out for another few sets; as many reps as possible in 30 seconds with a 30 second rest between.

Set 1

  • Mike Tysons
  • Wall taps
  • Wall sit
  • Turtle crunch (feet on the wall, crunch forward to touch wall, this is a burner)
  • Repeat

Set 2

  • Donkey kicks
  • Plank taps
  • Wall sit – marching
  • Hip slappers
  • Repeat

Mosey back to the Snow-ball parking lot with 6 minutes left. One final push to maintain the heart-rate. I had a few sets of 11’s remaining on the Weinke. With all the merkins completed thus far, I omaha’ed the merkin/dip set to SSH/Mtn. Climbers (10 SSH, 1 Mtn Climber, then 9 SSH, 2 Mtn Climbers, and so on). Three minutes left, time for Mary. Began with a new one that I don’t have a name for it other than to call it what we did: Knee claps. On your six, right leg extended, lift your left knee and clap underneath, then lower left, raise right and clap under the right knee. We went 40 reps. Need to stretch the abs and called out Michael Phelps, always a crowd pleaser. The in-cadence count went to 10. In the final minute I called for Freddie Mercury which I promptly began doing American Hammers – Q Fail! Defib quickly pointed out the positive sign for a Q to perform the wrong exercise called due to delirium. I’ll go with that but always room for improvement as a QIC. TIME!

COT

This workout was designed to be intense, to push the heart rate without much rest. The PAX were up to the challenge pushing along and staying together on the runs. The 30 second sets allowed for the “you vs. you” part to be earned. Judging by the sweat and little mumble chatter, that was accomplished as well. I know Dr. Feelgood has been working to get back into the gloom, so it was great to have him among the PAX. There were no announcements, a prayer request from Easy Rider for his brother James that may need neck surgery. Dr. Feelgood’s parents and his health were offered as well. It was great to be back at Martha’s. Hopefully the next post will be sooner rather than later.

For those scoring at home the playlist went as follows: Amarillo By Morning (G. Strait), Awake (Godsmack), Sweet Home Alabama (LS), Wild Side (Motley), Anthem (Rush), Hot For Teacher (VH), Running On Empty (Jackson Browne), Land of Confusion (Genesis), If You Want Blood (ACDC), Feel Invincible (Skillet). Until the next time, thanks for allowing me to lead.

Short Sale

Let’s Go For Round Three

May 26, 2017 / / 0 Comments

I turned 46 last week and my body is feeling every bit of it. Without the opportunity to stay in a Holiday Inn, the internet assisted my diagnosis of runner’s knee and heel plantar fasciitis. As they say in the playoffs of professional sports, “ain’t nobody they don’t have a little nick on ‘em at this point.” As your Weasel Shaker for the region, I count attendance (that is, if there is a back-blast to recognize your post…nudge, nudge, wink, wink) and for May I’ve only been present three times, officially. Unofficially there are two more posts from last week’s golf trip to the beach where Roscoe and I got after it about 9 am Friday and Saturday. Nothing like running on the beach, what a great AO Ocean Isle Beach can be. Back to the gloomy reality that I committed to Brown Streak as the QIC for the Goat today. With the nasty weather the past few days, I admit I was a little worried about the possible conditions that I could face and how many PAX would be alongside. I crafted two Weinkes and sealed them in plastic (great idea Stroganoff; only well trained minds from great institutions of higher learning are that prepared). The alarm sounded and to my delight, no rain! I went with Weinke #1 and packed a few coupons for the occasion.

The parking lot featured the standard cast of characters, well, except for the Site AO and the Burpee King. Fartsacking?? I can’t imagine on this balmy morning why they were absent, but who am I to say anything since I’ve posted so little, I’ll leave that to the regulars. More importantly we had the Mayor ready with new jokes and comments that fed the stream of mumble chatter. As the clock hit 0530, Dolph sent one of his trains by – I didn’t even call it before the PAX automatically dropped into 5 burpees. I surveyed the circle to see all veterans, short disclaimer: “modify as needed.” With those words of wisdom sifting through the minds, we stood to attention at the damp flag and gave it proper tradition with the Pledge. Now let’s begin the warm-up.

  • SSH IC x 10
  • Toy Soldier IC x 10
  • Side to side lunges IC x 10
  • Burpees 5 OYO (originally this was to be the lead off exercise, but the train bumped to the caboose (hey Mayor, did you see what I did there? We need to go on tour).

Let’s mosey, out of the parking lot and make a right turn around the circle for a short, and I mean short run. Today would be about cardio. If you want to run, you should have posted at The Pub. We circled to Main Street between the post office and office building where the wall would be in play. Two minute circuit with each exercise timed at 30 seconds. After a 30 second rest, we’ll repeat. A few ignored the tall grass while others used the building on the left opting for wet pavement.

  • Set 1
    • Mike Tysons
    • Wall taps
    • Wall sit
    • Turtle crunch
  • Set 2
    • Donkey kicks
    • Plank wall taps (think plank punch but tap the wall)
    • Wall sit but march your legs
    • Hip slappers (Whoopee you should’ve been there)

After a brief rest, I led the PAX on another short mosey around the corner building to the upper parking lot below the train tracks. Along the sidewalk of the building under the lights, YHC had labeled nine cones with two exercises each and the tenth cone simply said “run.” Fate works in mysterious ways. If I were a serious gambler, excluding Billy Madison’s NCAA pool, I would have bet money that no more than five PAX would have posted due to the aforementioned weather. So I didn’t have to remove any of the cones which allowed more exercises to work each area, specifically the arms – no soccer arms in this group. The PAX stood behind a cone and the runner took off for the stairs leading to a landing beside the train tracks. The initial call was 5 burpees at the top. Since this was a new routine that had not been timed, I quickly modified to 2 burpees at the top (apologies to Tesla and Linus as the lab rats having to do extra work). Once the runner returned to the PAX, everyone moved to their left one cone. We completed the following:

  • Set 1

 

  • Lunge R/L
  • Rifle squat holding weighed pvc pipe
  • Block curls
  • Plank jacks w/ shoulder taps
  • Lt. Dans
  • Block press
  • Merkin
  • Flutter kicks
  • American Hammer
  • Set 2

 

  • Mtn. Climbers
  • WWI w/ pvc pipe
  • Dips
  • Ski abs
  • Imperial Walker (it’s not just for warm-ups)
  • Block swings
  • Diamond merkins
  • Dollies
  • LBC

It was good work by the PAX. Special props to Mayor, displaying excellent form throughout. He can squat like no other. F3 should put him on a poster, maybe an info-mercial, stay tuned. Upon completing both circuits, we had a little more than 9 minutes to go. Like any mindful QIC of their PAX I provided options to fulfill the void. Burpees, Mary, or another cycle through the stations. Overwhelmingly the PAX voted for #3 so one more time through, only this time, Dolph sent a second train by and we obliged with 5 more burpees. For those attending Memorial Day, don’t be surprised if you hear a few train whistles as you make your way around. Back to the Goat. We pushed right up to 6:15 and made a dash back to the start for the Circle of Trust. We heard and offered prayers for Mayor’s daughter to find a diagnosis and healing, Tiny Tank’s wife and mother-in-law facing challenges, and Sargento’s mother-in-law battling dementia. Top Hat offered prayers for all of our PAX, especially those traveling this weekend for Memorial Day. For those PAX in town you have options to attend any of our three AOs. If you are on the injured list, you have options for the Pain Lab with Rudolph at GasHouse and Brownstreak hosting at the Yank. Monday morning at 0600 (note the time pushed back) Dolph will host The Murph in honor and memory of Lieutenant Michael Murphy, a Navy SEAL that gave his life for our country. This is a grinder but you’ll be among brothers that will give you the push you need. Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

Short Sale

Spring Break Special

April 6, 2017 / / 0 Comments

With Easter on the horizon, many of the schools will be taking time off for Spring Break and that means some will head to the coast for a little R&R. The pre-blast promised a core meltdown. For the 7 Goats that escaped their home gates, I wanted to be sure they got their money’s worth. There was a nasty storm that moved through our region early in the morning, leaving the ground soggy and damp but thankfully by the time the PAX began arriving at the parking lot, the sky was rain-free and the temperature a nice 59. Oh Wow was on his one week anniversary, but otherwise, a veteran crew needing only a brief disclaimer: “You verses you, go at your own pace” (some took that literal). Oh Wow added “and don’t die…” We pivoted to face Old Glory hanging limp on the flag pole and completed the pledge. Time to get it on.

Warm-up:

  • SSH IC x 10
  • Don Quixote IC x 2 (by the second cadence, Mayor asked for mercy, so we s-l-o-w-e-d d-o-w-n and these became:
    • Abe Vigoda IC x 8
  • Toy Soldier IC x 10
  • Imperial Walker IC x 10

Thang:

I have a decent collection of coupons in my garage – for this session I brought the water jugs. Life is always better holding a nice firm set of jugs (oh yeah – this crowd went there). With a small group, I had enough for both hands and we moseyed to the Goat Island Bridge for a Zombie Walk. About a quarter of the way, Mayor asks how much longer. Sargento was leading the group and reached the mid-point so I offered a choice to which we Omaha’ed to regular lunge walks to the end.

With a good burn on our legs, I led the PAX to a covered picnic shelter for the chisel portion of the ab-fest. I covered detailed instructions including a demonstration of each exercise emphasizing a single count of one leg (not every leg). Apparently Dolph’s ears were still asleep and he went with his own count inciting Mayor’s response: “no wonder you’re in the lead – you’re cheat’in.” Here is what the other 6 PAX did:

  • American Hammer – 25 single count reps using water jug
  • Flutter Kick – 25 single count reps holding water jug pressed
  • Freddie Mercury – 25 single count reps (no jug holding this time)
  • Bobby Hurleys – 25 single count reps ‘shooting’ the jug
    • Rinse and repeat
    • Rinse and repeat

To Dolph’s delight, a train passed during the first set and he gleefully yelled for the PAX to begin 5 burpees. Oh Wow went for his merkin and expressed a trumpet like explosion that I wasn’t sure which orifice the wind blew. Come to find out it was his pie hole – be on alert the next time you post. (I’m thinking that qualified as ‘comedic gold’ right Mayor?)

While the PAX recovered, I explained, even demonstrated the next set for the Dora 1-2-3. The partners linked up as follows: Short Sale and Oh Wow, Wheezy and Tiny Tank, and the ménage à trois formed with Mayor, Dolph, and Sargento. With our abs getting cut, we needed to work on shoulders and arms. P1 performs the exercise while P2 (or P3) runs a short loop from the picnic shelter.

  • Dips – 100 aggregate
  • Incline Merkins (keep hands shoulder width on the picnic table) – 200 aggregate
  • Decline Peter Parkers – 300 aggregate

With the heart rate going I had several options on my Weinke leaving the choice to Mayor. He opted against my version of Brownstreak’s Triple Nickel (sorry BS – but you weren’t there for the AO Q override). The Mayor opted for one last set of core focus. Once again detailed instructions and demonstration was provided, but not followed. Keep your partners; 30 seconds of each exercise then flap-jack.

  • Set 1
    • P1 – Halos
    • P2/P3 – Burp-jacks
  • Set 2
    • P1 – Plank up (use picnic table)
    • P2/P3 – A-frame: use water jug to close down as knees bicycle in and out

I had more on the soggy card but time ran out and we moseyed back to the circle. With a small group, there was a lot of good chatter. We learned Mayor remains private on twitter because too many porn stars began following him. Wheezy said he saw that as a bonus. And with opposing thoughts such as that, we know what a diverse PAX we are. Announcements were mostly for Saturday where we’ll have normal AO’s going and then Community Foundation Run beginning at 9 am. If the trails at the Whitewater Center are open, Freight was organizing a bike ride at 2 pm. Jason’s Deli Friday at noon in Charlotte and Advisory Meeting April 23rd, bring ideas for IR workout. We shared prayer concerns for Pockets to have healing and the medical staff to diagnose the issue for treatment. Also for Top hat and T-Square and their families. And finally for our PAX, not only present but for all the great guys that are part of this brotherhood. Thanks for the opportunity to be a part of it.

This Better Be Good

March 17, 2017 / / 0 Comments

I try to visit our lone PM workout at Midoriyama a few times a month. The boys started with a great core group and have done nothing but add quality in recent months. If you have not visited, you should adjust your work schedule to make an appearance. I can assure that you will be welcomed but you better be prepared as the mumble chatter is consistent if not constant. If you feel the sharp point of a barb, know that it’s a manly sign of affection. I’ve never been disappointed in a workout as the bar is set at a high level and the guys are always pushing and sometimes pulling each other along. So as a non-regular, Def Leppard asked me to guest Q which I gladly accepted the invitation veiled as a challenge. It went like this:

The last breath of winter has been hovering over Gastonia this week impacting attendance in the early gloom. In the pre-workout chatter, the boys shared they on Tuesday’s edition, they fought near hurricane winds that wouldn’t so much allow a bead of sweat to appear despite Freight’s beat-down. Twelve hours earlier, only the QIC’s attended our other three AO’s and props go to Tophat, JJ, and Huck for persevering the chilly gloom. The sun fought to warm the day to a pleasant 50 degrees, causing the PAX to de-winterize their gear even though Huck wore a shirt with sleeves. Sans FNG’s, a brief disclaimer was stated: “modify as you need.” Got the pledge in and started the warm-up announcing “Hillbillies”. As the PAX began performing the called exercise, YHC began performing Imperial Walkers. Five reps in, I was busted by the PAX ….what a way to begin. I had two choices: tuck and run or act like I really knew what I was doing…I chose the latter, trying to regain control of the crew. The first exercise went 10 IC before announcing Toy Soldiers – which we all performed with inconsistent precision for a cadence count of 10. A staple of each Midoriyama warm-up are Don Quxiote. If I didn’t do a set of those, I felt like a mutiny could occur and my guest Q would end before it barely started. We did 10 of those. Then Moroccan Night Clubs began as Billy Madison arrived to cap our PAX at 11. I quit the cadence to say we would continue until Billy joined the circle. Little did I know how long it took for him to primp and stretch to arrive like a kid making his way to the dentist office. Finally, Billy arrived when I announced the final warm-up: 5 burpees OYO. Let’s mosey.

Thang: I’m not running the P200 because I really hate to run. So the three stops I had planned were contained within a small space of Poston Park. I think this was readily accepted by most of the PAX until I hit them with the first segment: Walk the Plank. Everyone find a parking space to perform 7’s to begin with six Merkins, plank walk right to perform one plank-jack. Plank walk left to the parking line for five Merkins and so on, until the reps flip-flopped for a total of 25 reps of each. Keeping with the shoulder burn theme, the next part had us begin on the curb for six baby dips, crab-walking forward about four paces to perform one crab-cake (from crab position, balance core for left elbow to right knee then right elbow to left knee = 1 rep). Same process of decreasing/increasing reps (6 to 1, 1 to 6). A little mumble chatter ignited. We quickly dashed to the first soccer field on the right for a new routine which I have yet to name. The PAX lined across the end-line to perform a plank-thrust which is essentially a burpee without the push-up or the jump at the end. We would perform 5 plank-thrusts then sprint to the 18 yard line to get into plank position and wait out for the 30 second round to end. Once the timer buzzed, run back to the end-line and repeat. We did this for a total of 6 rounds. Onto the final segment of our workout.

We did a short fellowship mosey across the parking lot to a spot behind the concession stand where the coupon fairy had deposited a few items at various stations. I think this was virgin soil for the regular crew and Slaw was happy not to see many ant hills. A review of Freight’s backblast indicated 16 PAX were present for Tuesday. With improved conditions I built the workout around that number but quickly downsized for our fearless 11. I hammered ten wooden stakes in the ground with a card showing an exercise in a rough shape of a square. Had the numbers been even, we would have timed the rounds having two PAX sprint the perimeter and the exercise station would end once one PAX caught the other or three laps were completed, whichever ended first. The modification was to have one PAX be the “runner” and take three laps around while the others performed exercises. The benefit of the rounds being timed by a runner is we didn’t really stop (Gastone would be somewhat proud). The playlist included The Who, Van Halen, and AC/DC among others.

Round 1:

Blockee

LBC’s

Squat (w/ sand filled PVC pipe)

Dying Cockroach (w/ bricks)

Low Plank Burps

Low Plank Burps

Bobby Hurley (w/ 10 lb Med Ball)

Squat (w/ sand filled PVC pipe)

LBC’s

Blockee

Runner

  

Round 2:

Jack Webbs (w/ half block)

Flutter Kicks

WWI (w/ sand filled PVC pipe)

Crunchy Frog (w/ bricks)

Ski Burps

Ski Burps

Am Hammer (w/ 10 lb Med Ball)

WWI (w/ sand filled PVC pipe)

Flutter Kicks

Jack Webbs (w/ half block)

Runner

  

We ended four minutes ahead of schedule. So to make use of the time, QIC said pick the exercise you hated the most and do it again for about a minute. Huck and Freight said they hate to run, so they chased each other like two squirrels in an open field. Others found blocks, pvc, or bricks to lift. We went a couple of rounds before it was time to head back to the shovel flag as I wanted to be sure Mary’s dance card would be punched for the day. The ab work was to begin with a favorite: Baby Makers which was apparently was a new exercise to Swimmer but evidently something his fellow PAX were highly confident his form would be solid (practice makes perfect, at least for missionary style). Rather than count, I played the background music by Pornosonic to set the mood – though the speaker was not quite loud enough to be heard – still this one always generates mumble chatter and this today was no different. Sticking with the theme, I called for 10 Monkey Humpers. Just be glad the stopwatch was almost over and Pickle Pounders were not called. Instead I called for 22 Merkins to honor our Veterans, of which Oompa Loompa and Slaw have that distinction.

Announcements: Convergence at The Fighting Yank – Saturday 3/18. Should be a fun a wet one with rain in the forecast. Advisory Meeting will be Sunday at 7 pm. Freight will confirm destination – check your twitter for location. P200 next weekend (3/25-26), Burpee-thon, and Mud Run in the future.

Prayer Requests: Allen Tate’s family for their loss (visitation/funeral is Saturday), Floppy’s M’s Friend fighting cancer, Def Leppard’s M’s health, and there might be a few others I forgot to write down on my card. YHC took us out with a prayer.

Moleskin: I’ve not been very dedicated to the early morning gloom the past few weeks. In fact, this event is only my third official F3 post for March. I’ve been relegated to a video or self-prescribed routine in my garage, usually at night. Having the chance to Q brings internal motivation to prepare and plan but more importantly show up. If I were by myself in my garage doing Imperial Walkers instead of Hillbillies being on the list – no one would have called me out. Oddly that was one of the highlights for me. Busting guy’s chops is a form of acceptance. Payback was in my call for 5 burpees where I was joined with a chorus of groans. There is extra motivation in the presence of others, breaking a sweat and enjoying the day. Hopefully that met the high bar of Midoriyama and I’ll have a chance to lead again.

Forty Love Beatdown

February 14, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Today could have been a reasonable excuse to stay in the warmth of a fartsack, snuggled (or spooned) next to our significant other, conjuring methods of cardiovascular excitement not named SSH or Merkin (or maybe they do? Yeah – I almost went there…). Instead, this Valentine’s Day began for 16 HIMs in the gloom, in a shield lock to support Tophat who lost his brother last week in an accident. My first Q at The Storm happen to coincide with these two events. I had a couple of ideas to ensure the PAX would get their money’s worth. It took a few minutes to set up the workout so I arrived to the center of the circle at 0530 to learn we had two FNG’s ready to do battle. I manufactured a quick disclaimer: “Modify as needed, don’t kill yourself, don’t try to keep up with Dolph…” PAX: “Dolph is QIC at Folsom.” What? My very first exercise was just for him:

  • 5 Burpees OYO
  • Seal Jacks – IC x 10
  • Toy Soldiers – IC x 10
  • High Knees – IC x 10
  • Don Quixote – IC x 5…(hit Whoopee’s limit for warm-up)

A very short mosey to the tennis courts. An early recon mission failed to find the lights that would have been nice to illuminate our movements but we’re used to dancing under the pale moonlight. QIC Fail #2: the speaker was not fully charged to play the soundtrack built for the workout. I was excited because I finally down-loaded George Strait to fit Whoopee’s odd musical appreciation (odd because of his disdain for Rush which were songs #4 and #13 on my playlist). Next time I’ll be better prepared. YHC earned one athletic letter at Ashbrook High School. At 5’9”, 130 lbs, my scrawny frame wasn’t suitable for the gridiron or hardwood at the high school level, so I focused on tennis. I was privileged to play with some good guys on a good team that finished 2nd in the conference, won regionals and top 5 in the state tournament. Our team’s bonds exist to this day. Nearly all of our practices and match warm-ups began with two drills that I wanted to share with my F3 brothers.

The Thang:

Set I

  • “W” drill – from the baseline, run to the net, backpedal to the “T”, run to the net and backpedal to the baseline. Upon explaining this and noticing Anthrax and Roscoe were present, likely for the first time since “The Incident,” another disclaimer was shared (not sure who – Stroganoff?) – “if running backwards, watch out for people that may be on the ground behind you…” We had 4 courts with two sides of each court – that was 8 reps. Oh yeah, perform 2 burpees between running each court.
  • “Tracers” – begin at the baseline, run down the alley to the net, backpedal to the service line, side-step to the center line, forward to the net, side-step to the alley, and backpedal to the baseline. Perform 8 reps moving along each side of the 4 courts. Between each court execute 5 jump squats (Tophat’s choice).

Set II

The Ultimate Four Corners – instead of 4 exercises at each corner, we ran all 4 courts. At 8 different points was a cone, arriving at each cone perform the following:

  • Merkins – 15 x 8
  • Flutter Kicks 15 x 8 (omahaed from 30)
  • Freddie Mercury 20 x 8 (each leg) – that is 40 total

Set III

Time was running out so I offered the PAX a choice between Dora or Mary. They chose Dora. So partner up: P1 runs a suicide among 3 cones while P2 performs the exercise in aggregate:

  • WWI x 50
  • Plankjacks x 100
  • SSH x 150

COT:

After the first set, I shared a brief summary of the shield lock, how the Roman soldiers formed a tight pack and used their shields to protect them in battle. Roscoe helped me with additional color. He shared the soldiers wouldn’t be upset if a fellow fighter lost their sword but would be if they lost their shield. The importance of remaining a protected, cohesive unit. Arriving at base, I offered a brief devotional:

Joshua 1:9 – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

In challenging times, our faith provides the comfort and guidance to shepherd us through. For those of us in the gloom, we have come to believe in the three elements of F3 which work in concert to provide a foundation of support to help fellow brothers, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly. Presence can be a silent motivator to push the next guy through, not to meet your goals but to get to his.

We performed name-o-rama and named our FNG’s. Davidson Hobson is the Director of Admissions at Gaston Day School. He earned the name Mr. Hand after giggles from Whoopee, Bandit, and Roscoe quoting lines from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Next we had Josh Valentine (coincidental name?). Josh is the interim youth pastor at a church in Gastonia (I can’t recall the name). He is also the son-in-law of Mastodon. While working on an appropriate name, Josh’s stomach evidently was reeling from the workout. As he splashed merlot in the high school parking lot, the PAX named him Zofran. We assured him that was a badge of honor that not many PAX have earned. As the QIC, I has mixed emotions. Concern over for our friendly new guy’s wellbeing, but also a devilish sense of pride the workout had pushed the limits.

It was great to have a larger audience today. The mumble chatter was a little louder than normal (despite Mayor fartsacking – he loves burpees). It was a fun group that pushed each other through the misery of each rep. Godspeed to Tophat and his family in their time of tragedy. Thanks for the opportunity to lead. Come back next week at The Storm for round 1 of Mayor week in Cramerton.

Tower of Torment

January 13, 2017 / / 1 Comment

Friday the Thirteenth in January; not as spooky as it might be if this were October. There should be a workout theme that dispels the various myths. Unfortunately I’ve got nothing on that, so let’s make up one…how about if you don’t post on Friday the 13th for a workout, you won’t be as strong as the 16 men that rolled from their comfy beds, joining together in sweat harmony. Admittedly I have been a little slack this week, letting the cold or damp weather control my mind more than my will. Congrats to all those that showed earlier in the week, even after a few hours of sleep watching Clemson win their second National Championship (Tiny Tank & Shad Rap). This morning enjoyed the benefit of being unseasonably warm, almost near 50 degrees which didn’t hurt attendance. Looking for inspiration, I’ve been reading other backblasts. The SOB’s (that is the Sons of Ballantyne) had a workout in a parking deck which they ripped off from a tougher one at The Jungle which is the 12 story deck across from the Spectrum Centre (formerly known as Time Warner Arena). Our Downtown AO has the benefit of the GasHouse’s mighty three story parking deck attached to the conference center which we may as well enjoy the fruits of our tax dollars. Most workouts typically incorporate the levels, stairs, and ramps on a Friday jaunt through the gloom. I rolled up my sleeves and went to work, including a trip to Lowes and a recon mission to the deck the night before to test run a few ideas. Here’s how it went down.

No FNG’s but a disclaimer was stated: “You’re an idiot for being here at this time of morning, let’s be idiots together. Today is You verses You, modify as needed, know your limits of when to push and when to pull back, blah, blah, blah.” Break the circle and line up on the steps of the Rotary Pavillion incited immediate mumble chatter.

Warm-up:

  • Calf Raises and Arm Circles (Yes – at the same time – quite challenging for the PAX to test their balance and coordination on the first exercise. They enjoyed YHC’s brief loss of balance on the first cadence – payback was planned. The cadence called out 10, not sure how many were completed. Enough of that – circle up.
  • Don Quixote – IC x 10
  • SSH – IC x 15
  • CDD – IC x 10

Pledge

Thang:

Mosey on toward York Street and head south for two blocks. Circle up in the BB&T parking lot for Merkins IC x 10 and Squats IC x 10. Head east a block to South Street and head north where we ran halfway up the street, just ahead of a large bus piled with school kids. YHC suggested Monkey Humpers would be fun with the young audience but that was quickly denied. At Midoriyama yesterday afternoon I partnered with Slaw for BOMBS (btw – for any partner exercise, find Slaw and he will make your life easier). He said he might post this morning to which I responded if he did, he would be rewarded with Rugby Sprints – his favorite exercise. We went 16 across and began with Mountain Climbers. After a few reps the command was provided to “GO” and like a heard of buffalo, the PAX sped up the slight incline and back down. I think Roscoe led the charge, maybe Squirt was up there too. Nursing a sore hamstring, I wanted to be sure I didn’t put myself out for the remainder and likely missed others doing their Usain Bolt impressions. This is the first time I called this exercise and forgot about the third leg which was the recovery walk. Instead I asked for a count off. Checking the time, I called for an additional round and off we went up and back, this time doing a walking mosey to the parking deck where the main event was staged.

We circled again for a count-off into four man groups; however, today’s work-out was not team or partner oriented. It was an individual test to push through. Signs were posted on the walls naming five different exercises to be executed on five different levels. Each man goes at his pace through each exercise, trying to attain the repetition goal on the sign or push for extra credit if they needed the extra challenge. After each level was completed, the PAX were to climb the stairs to the 6th level, run across the top and descend to the 1st level and then go to their next level. If that sounds complicated – it was. YHC was confused a few times on where to run, so that directive needs to be made more clear or re-designed. In groups of four, we headed off to start the work with exercise and rep goal listed below. All reps were to be single counted.

  • Level 1
    • Pull-ups – 5
    • Rope pulls – 10
    • Donkey Kicks – 20
    • Dips – 20
    • Agility Drill – 5 reps (cones in a square with center cone. Begin in the middle and touch each cone, return to touch the middle cone before going to the next one. Each round equals a rep).
  • Level 2
    • Blockees – 8
    • Squat with block – 25
    • Lunge walk width of deck and back – 2 times
    • Apollo Ohno (with bricks in hand) – 20
    • Block Curls – 20
  • Level 3
    • Flutter Kick – 40
    • Freddie Mercury – 40
    • Toe Touches – 20 (on your back, feet at 90 degrees and touch your toes)
    • American Hammer – 30 (10 lb weight for resistance)
    • Dying Cockroach – 30 (bricks in hand for resistance)
  • Level 4
    • Burpees – 10
    • Ski Burps – 20
    • Bear Crawl width of garage and back – 2 times
    • Hip Slappers – 20
    • Peter Parker – 30
  • Level 5
    • Plank Jack w/ Shoulder Tap – 20
    • Frog Jumps – 20
    • Ski Moguls (hop between cones up/down ramp – like your skiing) – 3 times
    • Pike Up, Merkin – 10
    • Sumo Squats – 20

Thanks to the PAX for gathering the coupons to load in my car. Thanks to whoever led the others in dying cockroaches until we were ready to mosey home, a few minutes over to which I apologize for the tardiness. We quickly went through the name-o-rama and huddled for announcements/prayer requests. The Palmetto Relay has two more spots available; check for email and twitter posts and if interested, attend the meeting in early February. Prayers were lifted for Pizza Man losing his grandmother, Billy Madison and his in-laws, Bandit’s aunt fighting cancer, two friends of Roscoe battling health conditions, T-Square and family, the health of our PAX, especially those running this weekend in the Charleston Marathon.

Moleskin:

Once again it was awesome to organize this workout for a great group of guys. All were willing to dive into the various challenges and push your respective rocks a little further today. Much like Stroganoff has his Wolfpack Grinder, I’ve decided to adopt this workout as my offspring. I pledge to mold this Weinke until perfection can be attained, if there is such a thing as the perfect workout. With that said, I welcome the feedback for improvement. The goal for today was constant movement which helped maintain a peak heart-rate. Other than the organizational components, guys were moving through at a good pace. I was unable to complete the entire circuit so there is work for me to do. When I arrived home this morning, later than anticipated, my M said “I wished you would put as much effort as you do into your workouts into the things I need done…” That stung a bit. Maybe it’s the new underwear for Christmas or maybe it’s the lessons learned at F3 where that comment failed to chap my Sandy V as it may have in the past. Reflecting back, my M is right (she often is btw), so I have a Weinke of honey do’s that needs to be achieved. Hopefully I’ll have that rock rolling quickly. Until next time, Aye!

99 at The Goat

December 29, 2016 / / 1 Comment

The morning started off with rain and fears of no one showing. Pulled in at the Goat with two already waiting. I show up with full out rain gear expecting more rain to fall. With the other pax filing in one by one and circled up, I gave a workout choice: Sprinterval or 99 workout….. Dolph makes the call for everyone. To the gazebo we mosey. Mumble chatter started with Mayor upset we wasn’t running after wearing his running shoes. Sargento spots a running coming across the bridge it’s Apache from The Rock!

More mumble chatter…….. a lot!!!! Explaining the choice to try and stay dry we all turned toward the bank for the pledge……… after pledge there was no time for warm-up because this workout would eat up the whole time. Here’s what other goats missed….

99 Workout:

Set 1 Set 2 Set 3
  • 99 LBC’s
  • 9 Burpees
  • 99 High Knees
  • 9 Merkins
  • 99 sec wall squat
  • 88 LBC’s
  • 8 Burpees
  • 88 High Knees
  • 8 Merkins
  • 88 sec wall squat
  • 77 LBC’s
  • 7 Burpees
  • 77 High Knees
  • 7 Merkins
  • 77 sec wall squat
Set 4 Set 5 Set 6
  • 66 SSH’s
  • 66 LBC’s
  • 66 sec wall squat
  • 6 Merkins
  • 66 Lunges
  • 55 SSH’s
  • 55 LBC’s
  • 55 sec plank
  • 5 Merkins
  • 55 Lunges
  • 44 SSH’s
  • 44 LBC’s
  • 44 sec wall squat
  • 4 Merkins
  • 44 Lunges
Set 7 Set 8 Set 9
  • 33 LBC’s
  • 3 Burpees
  • 33 sec wall squat
  • 3 Merkins
  • 33 High Knees
  • 22 LBC’s
  • 22 2 Burpees
  • 22 sec wall squat
  • 2 Merkins
  • 22 High Knees
  • 1 min Raised Plank
  • 2 min Bridge
  • 2×30 sec Side Plank

TIME!!

Fun facts we all learned this AM was that, there are shoes for everything (SSH, LBC, RUNNING etc.) also that the Q NEVER stops counting.  This workout stopped the mumble chatter briefly. Some pax just do know how not to talk smack…… all in great fun and we had a blast having company from Apache. You are welcome anytime sir! Guess Q?????

Announcements: Relay race meeting TBA with location. Be on the lookout. All pax welcome to come to meeting. Also, Apache asked we check the bubble locator for Goatisland. It shows up for back lot not townside. Thanks for the heads up.

Prayers: TopHats Dad, Shrimpboat, T-square

Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for weathering the weather men!!! Brownstreak out!!

Balls…insert joke here….

December 28, 2016 / / 1 Comment

Football season is winding down with a few meaningless bowl games played out, unless your team happens to be in one of them (Wolfpack 41/Vandy 17). The NBA has played a third of their games already where as college is about to begin conference play. With a college or pro basketball game on each night, I began thinking of a F3 workout to use the old round ball. As a retired church league coach, I dug into my folder of old practice plans. No need to teach fundamentals to a bunch of grown men – you either have it at this point or your don’t. The eager PAX that crawled out of their fart-sacks desired cardio. I went to the white board and begin to draw up plays, I mean exercises.

The Snow Cone parking lot was filling up with some regulars and new faces to the AO. Fist bumps were flying. Mr. Jenkins on his third day in a row, having survived Gastone’s Monday beat-down which is an accomplishment for even the beasts. Glad to see Easy Rider off the IR; Freight is making the most of his vacation with an early post; Udders (Greensboro, NC) was lucky enough to marry a Gastonia girl and slid out of his in-laws again for another dose of pain; and then we had an FNG, Mark Hill putting his first stake in the ground. We all circled up with a short disclaimer: “You should have hit the snooze button; big mistake coming here this morning but since you were dumb enough to do it, may as well make the most of it. Modify as necessary, go at your own pace…”

The Pledge was recited in unison and then a quick outline of The Thang that would make Brownstreak happy and a quick demo of the two exercises to execute while waiting for the Six.

Warm-up:

  • Side Straddle Hops – IC x 5 – Time to run (Whoopee smiled at the brevity)

I needed props for the workout. The Force told me I needed more than 8 basketballs. Thanks to Stroganoff for digging into his garage and finding additional balls. Something about grown men waking up in the early morning hours elevates the juvenile humor – insert any joke about “balls” here (yours are bigger than mine, quit grabbing my ball, my balls are flat…yada, yada). Each man grabbed a ball (but not before comparing size and color (insert ball joke #2) and took off running down Riverwood Parkway dodging some unusually extra traffic.  At the first neighborhood entrance, perform plank jacks with both hands on you ball (insert joke about balls here as well). At the third neighborhood entrance, perform merkins rotating one hand on the ball. Do these exercises to failure, rest and go again until the Six arrives. Head across the street to the church parking lot – plank jacks again while waiting for the Six. The final decent was to arrive at the basketball court at the back of Robinson Elementary School, where I spent a good chunk of my youth going K through 6th grade. I’d love to go into great detail, describing how YHC’s legendary status began on that very blacktop but as an undersized, frail guard, I didn’t gain the toughness playing full court 12 on 12 at recess. If only F3 was around in the early 80’s, I could have made it.

With any new workout a Q anticipates the guest-i-mated time allotted which rarely transfers to reality. Such was the case this early morning where the trek over took fifteen minutes. Quick math left me with about fifteen minutes to cram a full Weinke (you can derive a ball joke here if you choose) in order to return to our AO on time. Practice always begins with lay-ups and this session was no different. The men went through a rotation while waiting for the Six. I arrived just in time for Spiderman’s dunking exhibition.  Need to start with some cardio. PAX planked until it was their turn for the drill:

  • Side shuffle cone drill
  • Run forward to goal #1 for 10 backboard touches (7′ goal)
  • Back-peddle to center for 10 Merkins
  • Sprint to goal #2 for 10 more backboard touches
  • Back-peddle to corner for 10 CDD’s
  • Side-shuffle to start and plank
  • Rinse/repeat

Next segment – partner up; sit back to back sharing one ball (PAX offered plenty of ball jokes but curiously none involving Lance Armstrong – cardio may have caused deliriousness).

  • Side to side pass (think American Hammers)
  • Overhead pass, tap ball between legs (like a modified WWI)
  • Right Shoulder to Left Hip then Left Shoulder to Right Hip
  • We did about 20-25 of this set.

Next segment – keep partners; P1 does exercise while P2 runs to end of court and back

  • Merkin while rotating ball between left/right hand
  • Plank jacks with hands on ball
  • A-frame abs (think Freddie Mercury but with extended arms holding ball, pull down as knee rises)
  • Figure 8 – pass ball side to side with raised knee
  • L-pass – circle ball around one leg raised at 90 degree with other leg 6″ off ground (use a medicine ball if trying at home).
  • We did a total of 30 in aggregate of each set.

Final segment – no basketball practice is complete without suicides except this set was called Burpee Suicide. Arriving at the lines, perform a burpee before returning to the baseline. This will be included in a future Weinke, using the parking lot. The brevity failed to incite the mumble chatter desired.

With 15 minutes to go, time to return home. Gastone and Stroganoff led the PAX and gathered for a few flutter kicks at the mid-way point. YHC took the chance to get to know our FNG as he shared “I nearly puked back there…” I replied that splashing merlot is an honor among the PAX. DaVinci, Bandit, Freight, Hushpuppy, and Gastone circled back to bring us in, encouraging Mark along the way. Upon arrival it was 6:14 and no refunds would be offered: Flutter Kicks again – 16 in cadence – TIME.

Announcements: After Christmas Party at Whoopee’s House – RSVP. Nomads this Saturday are headed to the Mustang (East Lincoln) at 0600 from the Eastridge Mall parking lot (behind Dunkin Donuts).  We welcomed Mark Hill, a father of two young kids that works at Grainger. He was EH’ed by Lil’ Sweet, posting to this AO due to his house being across the street in South Pines. A few ideas flew around with ‘why would a chicken cross the road?’ being combined with the nearby Kentucky Fried Chicken for our newest member to be named: KFC. Welcome to the PAX!

Prayer requests: We lifted up Top Hat, Pizza Man, T-Square, and Dr. Feelgood who have various concerns with their families. We also prayed for Slaw with challenges he has in his life.

Moleskin: As with any workout, there is always room for improvement. I made some notes and will look to refine for the future. It was great to see the mix of regulars along with new guys to the AO. The distance was a little much but having balls in our hands certainly made it more fun (does that cover all the ball jokes from this workout?). Thanks for the chance to coach once again.

Gastonia 3rd F – New Opportunity

December 19, 2016 / / 0 Comments

A recent change you may have noticed is a bible chapter and verse published via Twitter which can be studied individually or as a group. F3 is all about stepping up and with mini-computers in the palm of our hands – this information is readily available.

At the Advisory Meeting Sunday night, our 3rd F Q Monk, raised the question to offer another opportunity for us to push the rock as it pertains the Faith element. Starting tomorrow, Tuesday, December 20th at 6:00 am, Monk will lead our first mid-week 3rd F session at Starbucks at the new Harris Teeter located at the corner of Robinwood and Kendrick Road. We recognize there are workouts at both The Storm and Folsom beginning at 0530 which have loyal followings. This will not be a workout, so come in work clothes (or your jammies), grab a coffee and we’ll have a time of faith study. Monk will lead the first session but like all F3 activities, we’ll want Q’s to step in to lead future sessions.

As with any F3 events in our region, we are looking for feedback and improvement. Please share your comments. 2nd and 3rd F ideas are open for suggestion and implementation. Thanks to Monk for stepping up to lead this opportunity. AYE!

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