Author: Nutria (Page 4 of 10)

I arrived early to set up gear (which included Flintstone’s 44-lb and 53-lb kettlebells) in a circle in the parking lot. After Stroganoff’s brief warmup, Pain Lab-rats gathered coupons and I explained the format. The rules were simple, at first. Six stations had exercises written on note cards. Two of the cards had a defined number of reps – one of those stations would be the “timer,” after the Pax would roll the big red die to determine how many spaces to move, clockwise. Put on some music and let’s get going.  Oh, by the way, one other rule – rolling “6” is a “wild card” roll, so PAX can choose space to go next.  (I added this twist since with only 6 exercise spaces, rolling 6 would mean repeating the same exercise – not a terrible thing, but this would make things more interesting.)

First set:
* Squat-Curl-Press (20)
* Kettlebell pullovers (20)
* Reverse lunges with kettlebell
* Star crunches
* Babymakers
* Heels to Heaven

After 16-18 minutes, flip the note cards over to reveal a different set of exercises for Set 2:
* Kettlebell swings (20)
* Goblet squats (20)
* Lawnmower rows
* Hello Dolly
* American Hammers
* PAX choice

After another 16 minutes or so, choose an exercise from either side of the card.  At 0758 we returned for COT as bootcampers arrived back at the flag.

It was great to see Top Hat back out in the gloom.  Mumblechatter topics included cars, training for new and old drivers, and Hot Dog educating us that Slipknot’s angry shouting into the microphone is more difficult than most people realize. 

Announcements:  2nd F lunch 9/20 at Gastonia Pita Wheel; Iron Pax Challenge continues through September

Prayers:  Turtleman, Huckleberry, Norwood, others

I’m privileged for the opportunity to lead this morning – thanks to all who joined to make ourselves better!

– Nutria

JJ gave a quick warm up then moseyed off with the bootcampers. El Toro and Hunchback stayed behind in the parking lot. I set up music and a 40-second timer for exercise intervals.  We cycled through 5 exercises, then 40-second rest, rinse and repeat until it was time. Exercises were Kettlebell pullovers, American Hammers, squats, babymakers, lawn mower rows, kettlebell swings, LBC’s, overhead presses, reverse crunches, merkin pull-throughs, tricep extensions, flutter kicks, deadlifts, scissor kicks, curls.

Mumblechatter kept us going the whole time – cars, beers, vacation, all good stuff.  It was great to see El Toro back and hear about his travels to Iceland.

Announcements:  8/16 2nd F lunch; F3 Dads 8/19 at Folsom; 8/27 CSAUP peak to peak; 9/4 convergence

Prayers:  Turtleman, Norwood, Huckleberry; praise for my brother who completed his adoption of a newborn baby girl

Privileged to lead this morning

– Nutria

We rucked the “Linus route.” Stopped by his house for honorary monkey humpers. Good mumblechatter on a warm rainy morning.

Lots of events coming up:
Annihilation, PT tests, and IPC – various dates and AO’s
2nd F lunch 8/16 at Belmont Pita Wheel
F3 Dads 8/19 at Folsom – 0700 start
Kings to Crowders CSAUP 8/27 – see preblast for details
Convergence 9/04 – location TBD

Prayers for Turtleman, Norwood, Huckleberry, Termite, Tube’s M and others.  Lots of struggles that need our prayers and support.

 – Nutria

Simple and tough is the way I try to set up a beatdown.  The tricky part is keeping all PAX challenged regardless of fitness level.  My latest attempt was at The Sandlot.  We started with the pledge and warmup of SSH, imperial walkers, runners stretch, Nolan Ryans, perfect form merkins, maybe something else thrown in the mix, then moseyed towards the park.   Oh, and we brought along a couple kettlebells (32 lb and 18 lb).  Dropped the kettlebells at the entrance road where the paved path leads to the first picnic shelter, proceeded to the picnic shelter, and explained the rules:

Each PAX takes a turn running to the road to do 10 reps with a kettlebell.   All other PAX alternate between one of two exercises (do as many reps as you want of either exercise, then switch, just keep going).  Once all PAX have done the kettlebell reps, move the next round.

Round 1 = Perfect form merkins / Nolan Ryans  (Squats with KB)
Round 2 = Bulgarian split squats (left side) / Star crunches (Upright rows with KB)
Round 3 = Derkins / Superman pull-ups (Swings with KB)
Round 4 = Bulgarian split squats (right side) / American hammers (OH presses with KB)

Amidst the sound of crickets and grunting (and an unfortunate lack of mumblechatter), I learned that this general format succeeds at “simple and tough.”  I also learned that Superman pull-ups are a lot harder than I thought, especially when paired with another shoulder exercise.   Though I had planned on getting through all 4 rounds multiple times, we only had time to get through one circuit (no doubt to the relief of the PAX!).

During a fellowship-mosey towards the park gate, we talked about things for which we are grateful.  For me, it’s the health and well-being of my family.  At the park gate, we did 5 burpees and a jail-break to back to Pelicans, then 2 minutes of Mary to finish strong.

Announcements:  F3 Dads 8/19 at Folsom.  Labor Day (Monday 9/04) convergence.

Prayers:  Turtleman and Norwood.  EZ Rider’s family.  JJ and a pack of kids going on a church youth group trip.

I am privileged – and grateful – for the opportunity to lead a fine group of HIM’s this morning!
– Nutria

I snatched the opportunity to Q The Goat at nearly the 11th hour, saving Bubba Sparxxx and countless innocent Pax from having to deal with an awkward situation.  Here’s how it went down.

Started out with SSH, Hillbilly walkers, Goofballs (each 10xIC).  Moseyed down 8th Ave towards Riverside Park with a few stops along the way:
– 22 merkins OYO at the statue at the corner of the main square
– Wall-sit air presses under the bridge (20xIC)
– American Hammers on Mayflower Street (20xIC)

Upon arriving at the park, surprise!  We just happened to find 2 basketballs and a bluetooth speaker (that immediately paired to my phone – wow, what are the chances?).  Clearly we had to make use of these items, so we circled up at center court and I explained the rules:
– Split into two teams. 
– 5 reps of a chosen exercise “buys” a shot from the free throw line or beyond.
– Any Pax can do the exercise and it counts as a rep.  Any Pax can shoot after a the shot is earned with the 5 reps.
– Count up how many made shots at the end of the song.

First song = We Will Rock You. Exercise = Burpees.  I joined “Team 1” with Gavel, Orangeman, Eh Y’all, Freon, and Bos.  Gavel sunk a few buckets to make our score respectable, but otherwise Team 1 tossed enough bricks to build a house and lost 9-5.  I didn’t watch closely, but Anchorman seemed to spend a lot of time at the free throw line for Team 2.

Next song = We are the Champions.  Exercise = Makhtar Ndiaye’s.  Gavel got a hot hand and redeemed Team 1 with a 13-something win for Round 2.

Next song = Eye of the Tiger.  Exercise = Bobby Hurleys.  Both teams found a groove, and we tied 15-15.  It wasn’t in the plan, but we had to do one more to determine the winning team.

Tie-breaker song = Lithium (Nirvana).  Exercise = Heels to Heaven.  Up to this point, I hadn’t made a single shot in 6 or 8 attempts, but Gavel graciously gave me another shot.  I made the first two in a row and drained several more as Gavel, Orangeman and I scored 23 for the win.  Without taking a single shot at the goal, Eh Y’all was Team 1 MVP for grinding out exercises like a workhorse every single round.  To celebrate, we circled up for a round of 10 Makhtar Ndiaye’s in cadence, then headed back towards the flag with a few stops along the way:
– American Hammers on Mayflower Street (20xIC)
– Wall-sit air presses under the bridge (20xIC)
– 22 merkins OYO at the statue at the corner of the main square

There was lots of time left, so we did a Triple Nickel on the hill between the fire station and Mayworth’s:  Monkey humpers and CDD’s. 

3 minutes of Mary took us to the end, just as a handsome and un-sweaty man with a large perfectly groomed poodle joined our COT as if he had been there the whole time.  It wasn’t weird at all…

Announcements:  F3 Dads at Gashouse 7/15.  Annihilation at The Yank with Tiger, also 7/15.  2nd F lunch 7/19 at Pita Wheel in Dallas.

Prayers:  Norwood, Hacksaw, Pilgrim’s Progress for healing.  Jane Fonda for upcoming travels.  Finally, farewell to Gator with his final post as a Gaston County resident – stay strong and keep in touch, Brother!

Privileged to lead this fine group of HIM’s this morning,
– Nutria

Right as I planted the shovel flag, J2C’s car alarm blasted out in the Gloom as if to signal it was time to start the beatdown.  Then Kool Aid pulled up in a classic 70s gold convertible.  Gold was one of the theme colors of this workout to celebrate the College World Series champion LSU Tigers.  At 0530 we got started with light stretching then SSH, Hillbilly walkers, arrows, and Nolan Ryans (10xIC each).  Moseyed halfway around the track for The Thang.

LSU’s path to CWS victory went through Tennessee and Wake Forest, so we did 11s with V-ups (for the Vols) at one end of the field and “Demon Derkins” (derkins followed by shoulder tap) at the bleachers.  After 11s we completed our lap around the track and ended back at the front of the school.  LSU faced Florida in the best-of-3 CWS finals.  Florida scored 31 runs in those 3 games, so we did 31 Alligator Merkins.  Then we did 26 Tiger squats for the 26 runs that LSU scored, plus 57 each of Lbc’s and Step-Ups.

With lots of time left and cleverness running out, I asked for help from the PAX on a Triple Nickel.  J2C chose imperial walkers, and Kool Aid called Mike Tysons.  After that, we finished up with 3 tough minutes of Mary.

Announcements:
July 4 at The Yank:  workout 0700, Declaration at 0830
F3 Dads July 15th (Folsom?)

Prayers:
Marriages and aging parents
Cancer patients, families and caregivers

Honored to lead a small but strong group of HIM’s this morning
– Nutria

We had 32 at The Yank for the first F3 Dads boot camp of 2023.  The atmosphere was perfect even before we started – the bells at the railroad crossing rang out at 0657.  15 seconds later, a long, lumbering freight train rolled by.  At 0700 as the train was still thundering through the intersection, I called out the inevitable:  “Welcome to F3 – 5 burpees for the train!” It was glorious.

After our burpees, all PAX took a quick mosey to The Yank for the pledge, then Watts Up split off with the regular bootcampers.  Dads and 2.0s moseyed up to the field and circled up for warm-up.  Started with 10 SSH, 10 Goofballs, 5 Merkins, and 10 Dying cockroaches (in cadence).  Some of these required explanation/demonstration.

Before getting right into the workout, we reviewed what the 3 F’s stand for in F3.  Since it was mostly a crowd of repeat-attendees, many of the 2.0s knew the answers right away!

Moving on to The Thang – first exercise is “Count to 100.”  Each family does 100 total (combined) reps.  Dads do merkins; 2.0s choose any exercise.  I immediately got accused of rigging things in my favor – with 4 2.0s in attendance, we only needed to 20 reps each.  But hey, there are advantages to being the Q, and I pointed out that I’m often at a disadvantage with these games and need to make up for it somehow.  Everyone finished the 100 reps pretty fast, so we did a round of 200 (everyone could pick any exercise).

Next, we went around the circle for everyone to introduce themselves by their F3 nicknames.  “FNG’s” received their nicknames at this time.

To get moving again, we played a game of “tag.”  First round, 2.0s are “it,” and when dads got tagged they had to do merkins until all the dads were tagged.  There might have been a few groans from the dads with that wrinkle in the rules, but it wasn’t long before all the dads were on the ground doing merkins!  Next round, same thing, but the exercise was squats after dads were tagged.  For the third round, we switched it up – dads were “it,” and 2.0s had to do side-straddle hops once they were tagged.  Oh, and dads could only tag their own 2.0s.  A couple of the 2.0s (RBI, Goofball, 1 or 2 others) were very slippery and took a while to catch.  Eh Y’all had to nearly tackle RBI so that Balljoint could catch up.  RBI accused them of cheating, but there really wasn’t a rule saying dads were restricted from helping each other.  For the last round, we went back to kids being “it” and dads did dying cockroaches once tagged.

Then we did some dads vs kids races.  Since it’s a long way across the field, I had to split the distance and create a “finish line” in the middle.  Hunchback’s 2.0 Wicket happened to bring a stuffed red fox that would be a perfect substitute for the ubiquitous orange cone.  She graciously allowed “Red” to help us out.  (The other “cone” was a white styrofoam cup that stuck out among various pieces of litter scattered across the field after some type of celebration in Belmont last night.) 

OK, on to the races – everybody lined up for dads vs. 2.0’s!  The loser had to do 5 merkins.  Winners were encouraged to do a lot of form-critiquing.  Four rounds total.  They went like this:
– First round – kids run across the field, dads bear crawl
– Second round – kids run across the field, dads nur
– Third round – kids bear crawl across the field, dads lunge walk
– Fourth round – kids nur across the field, dads run (finally we beat them!)

Next up was another classic, “Family Merkins.”  We started out with everybody doing 10 merkins (or as many as you can).  Next, dads did up to 5 merkins with 2.0s on their backs.  The first round was pick your lightest 2.0.  The next round was pick your heaviest 2.0.  The last round was have all of your 2.0s on your back.  The kids enjoyed this even if the dads didn’t have the greatest form!

The next game was a new one, similar to duck-duck-goose, but of course with a few twists.  We tightened up the circle, and everybody got into plank position.  When the Q calls one of the PAX, kids would run around the circle while dad chased them, but dad first had to do 5 merkins.  I forgot to mention that if kids get caught, everybody is supposed to do 5 merkins.  Fortunately, none of the kids got caught unless you count when Balljoint ran the opposite way around the circle to tag Gamer.  Next round, PAX in the circle hold Al Gore.  This time, dads bear-crawled around the circle and kids chased Dad after doing 3 squats.

Next up was Name-o-rama and COT, and then of course SNACKS! 

Great work by all who came out this morning, Dads and 2.0s alike!  Thanks to all who showed up, and be on the lookout for news about the next F3 Dads workouts on July 15th and sometime in August.  I’m honored to lead this fun event for PAX and families.

– Nutria

There was a small crowd of 3 at The Ricky Bobby at 0530 just after I planted the shovel flag.  I was joined by Buckshot and, with his 4th ever post, Snow Bunny.  After a quick disclaimer, we got started with a warmup of SSH and Imperial walkers (10xIC), then went to plank for a quick runner’s stretch.  Staying in plank we moved to merkins, Nolan Ryans, and mountain climbers (10xIC).  I looked up and the circle had doubled in size – what the hell happened?  Tesla, Goose, and J2C had quietly snuck in somehow!  I provided a friendly reminder that start time is 0530.   J2C was thrilled that he wasn’t the last one to show up!

Next it was down to business for The Thang.  We moseyed to the back parking lot and started out with a triple nickel – big boys and heels to Heaven.  Next was a “PAX choice” routine – one PAX ran to the opposite end of the lot and back while the rest did an exercise.  At the end of the first round, I inadvertently called for flutter kicks when it was Snow Bunny’s turn, prompting Tesla to coin a new euphemism for Q-fail, the “busted rubber.”  You can look forward to snickering or groaning or both at that one during your next bootcamp with dirty old Uncle Ted.

After the second round, we traversed the parking lot to the other end via lunge-walking and bear-crawling, only to repeat another round of PAX-choice exercises.  This time, the “timer” nurred to one end and moseyed back.  After this round, we only had 4 minutes to go.  I wanted to do more lunge-walking and bear-crawling, but that would take too much time and end up as another “busted rubber,” so we moseyed back to the flag for 1 minute of Mary, pledge, and COT.

Announcements:
F3 Dads 6/17 at The Yank, 0700 start.  Bring 2.0s of all ages – preferred (but not required) that they’re able to walk and/or run.
July 4th at The Yank:  0700 boot camp followed by patriotic festivities, guest speakers, and other fun things.

Prayers:
Finley, 5-yr old with cancer
Those struggling with anxiety or hardship

Privileged to lead this morning!
– Nutria

Trash talk was allegedly light this morning at Pain Lab (maybe, as I like to think, because we were too busy with werk), but mumblechatter touched on a few interesting topics.  Which PAX will be having a Pain Lab pool party as soon as his new pool is installed?  Who is each PAX’s favorite 80s/90s film star/sex symbol?  See if you can match us up:  Pamela Anderson, Cindy Crawford, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Carmen Electra

Linus had Gashouse Q and kicked things off with the pledge and that’s it.  No disclaimer, no warmup (one side straddle hop doesn’t count).  Fine, let’s go.  Get your coupon and head to the back of the parking lot near the picnic benches.  I got the music and timer going.  The rules were simple:  2 minutes of work on a pair of exercise, followed by 10 seconds rest, then on to the next pair – switch as often as you need to, but keep working all 2 minutes.
Merkin pull-throughs / Nolan Ryans
Overhead press / Upright rows
Derkins / Superman pull-ups
Kettlebell swings / Curls
Kettlebell pull-overs / Big-boy situps or reverse crunches
Kettlebell squats / Lawn mowers (rows)
Bulgarian split squats (left) / Star crunches
Bulgarian split squats (right) / American hammers

Rinse and repeat until time.  Midway through the first circuit there was some grumbling about “no breaks” but we pushed through to the end.  3 full cycles took us to 0759.  Rejoined bootcampers for COT.

See Gashouse BB for announcements and prayer requests.

As always, privileged to lead a fine group of HIM’s this morning!
– Nutria

The title is an actual quote that I’ll explain below. 

10 PAX gathered on a cool, humid morning in the gloom.  Tesla approached the circle right as the clock struck 0530, right on time for a quick disclaimer, then straight to business.  Warmed up with Seal jacks, Hillbilly walkers, Hand-release merkins, Squats, Mountain climbers, Nolan Ryans, Hello Dollys (all 10xIC) and 5 burpees.

After a quick count-off, we moseyed to the tennis courts.  On the way, I thought it’d be fun to do some Foxhole merkins.  Orangeman and I had recently reminisced about when Bedpan called those on sopping wet downtown streets – ah, good times.  It had rained the night before in Belmont, but the streets were nearly bone dry.  We stopped for 5 Foxhole merkins each at 2 intersections.  It was fun but didn’t have quite the same effect as it did in the rain.

At the tennis courts, we partnered up for Team 11’s: Starting in the middle of all 4 courts, partners started with one Boo-yah merkin, then Nurred in opposite directions to the ends of the court for 10 Bobby Hurleys, then returned to the middle by lunge-walking, bear-crawling, or both for 2 hand-release merkins, etc.  Mumblechatter commenced to debate about what does or doesn’t qualify as necessary modification, and we settled on the policy that each set of Boo-yah merkins should end in an exclamation of “Boo-yah!”

Team 11’s took a good bit of time.  After another count-off we repeated the COP: Hand-release merkins, Squats, Mountain climbers, Nolan Ryans, Hello Dollys (all 10xIC) and 5 burpees.  Maybe we skipped the burpees, I can’t remember.  We exited the tennis courts and lined up for an Indian run back to the school.  Stopping at the benches, we did a few rounds of dips, derkins, and step-ups (10 each) and a lap around the carpool circle.  With just 2 minutes left, we circled up for a lightning-round of Mary until it was time.

Announcements: 
2nd F lunch 5/24, 1200 at The Lodge in Belmont
Memorial Day Murph 5/29 at The Sandlot 0700
Bike event in Forest City June 3
Special event July 4 at The Yank, start time TBD

Prayers:
PAX running Time Laps (reclassified from Announcement to Prayer Request)
Radar’s sister
Tiger’s mom
Termite’s family
Jane Fonda’s aunt
Anchorman’s sister-in-law
Kids, in particular graduates

Lagniappe:  I took a couple of my 2.0’s to the Charlotte Symphony last night to hear a guest violin soloist.  (As some of you know, all my 2.0’s have taken violin lessons from an early age, so this program was of particular interest.)  My 12-yr-old Goofball decided to wear a stick-on El Bandito mustache.  To his credit, left it on the entire time – before, during, and after the show.  It was quite a spectacle, and he collected dozens of compliments from other guests.  As his nickname suggests, his personality matches how he presents himself, so the mustache was just an outward sign of the general silliness.  On the way home, we were laughing about the shenanigans, and Goofball asked “So what was the best thing about me being an idiot today?”  We laughed at the actual question, but I immediately thought about the things we do in the Gloom.  There are many possible answers – murder bunnies, CSAUP’s, anything on Gastone’s Hill, foxhole merkins in the rain, the list goes on.  The best thing, of course, is being there with and for each other.   I’m glad to have all of you as Brothers, and it’s a privilege to lead.  Aye!

– Nutria