Back in the Ring

2020 has been a slow start for me. I did the Murph New Year’s Day and then walked 18 holes of golf (6 miles according to my watch) so I considered my journey to 250 workouts in 2020 +1. And then my course of action took a fantastic nose-dive south. Fever, chills, aches; I visited Urgent Care Saturday morning. I don’t like Urgent Care but my M thought I was near death, so I went. I arrived ten minutes before they opened. I watched the staff trickle into the office ahead of me. The same nurse that was to attend to me didn’t appear enthused to be there. I say that because she barely stuck the q-stick in my nose or throat so I didn’t test positive for strep or flu. So the diagnosis was “flu-like” symptoms…whatever that means – no medicine, just the PA’s encouraging words that amounted to “suck it up and deal with it” for a week. I’m no doctor and didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn but I’d say I had the FLU. I felt like shit. I quarantined myself to the couch for the next eight days. I graduated to the extra bedroom for days nine-eleven finally going back to the office on Tuesday, assuring my co-workers that my coughing and hacking wasn’t contagious. But long before my symptoms arrived, I had put my name on the Q Schedule for Midoriyama for Thursday the 16th. Surely I’d be able to make that after 15 days out of commission. We’ll see…no FNG’s, we’re all idiots, the same ole stuff…like riding a bike:

Warm-up:

• Moroccan Night Clubs x 15 IC
• Toy Soldiers x 15 IC
• Squats x 15 IC
• SSH x 15 IC
• Pledge

Thang: A short mosey across the parking lot to the larger, open lot by the first softball field. Basically because I have no cardio to run any distance. While on the couch for a long period of time and work was little more than keeping current on my email and dialing into the occasional meeting, I had some time to think about this Weinke. So first up on the list took some explaining and then emphasis, and more explaining along with a few demos – this was Midoriyama after all where math can be challenging. So I’ll attempt to explain for those of you that didn’t attend – maybe you’ll get the concept – maybe you’ll add it to your own Weinke, or maybe you’ll complain like my PAX did…

Find a partner and P1 stand on one parking lot line while P2 is two parking lines apart (there is one parking line between the two of you). On the first line both PAX perform 5 (that is the number five, cinco if you’re from Mexico); perform 5 jump squats, then drop down and plank walk laterally (that is east/west) to meet your partner at the middle parking lot line and then do 10 partner merkins (aka Boo-Yah Merkins, aka Hand-Slap Merkins); then proceed plank-walking laterally to the third parking lot line, stand up and perform 5 (once again in English – five or in Spanish – Cinco) Squat-Jacks. Once completed, plank walk laterally the opposite direction to meet your partner in the middle parking line for 9 partner merkins, then continue lateral plank walk back to your starting spot to do another 5 jump squats. Sound simple enough?? Possibly, so just know on your own, do 5 jump squats or 5 squat jacks…plank walk to meet your partner and do descending count 10 to 1 partner merkins in the middle. The point was to burn the shoulders with the plank walk and partner merkins and get the cardio going on the other 5 reps. Complaints started and whether the PAX followed instructions, it didn’t matter – hopefully you felt the pain. Next time, I’ll try to explain better as it’s a good routine that will take about 5 minutes. Let’s mosey to the next part.

Down to the picnic shelter near the BMX track…keep your same partners if you like (or if you’re SA’s partner feel free to switch). Use the picnic tables…P2 gets in plank with their legs under the bench, they are the count doing 10 merkins…P1 sits on the bench and does seated rainbow leg lifts side to side AMRAP and then switches…3 sets. Round II: P1 does the Scorpion Plank x 10 – now this is new so pay attention…P1 gets in plank w/ feet on the picnic bench, they do a Parker Peter (that is R knee to L elbow, then L knee to R elbow) and then 1 merkin = 1 rep. P2 does SSH until P1 completes, then flap-jack x 3 sets. Round III: P1 does an American Hammer (right hand, then left hand swinging across the core) then does two leg kicks where you reach up toward your toes…it’s a core killer – you need to try it. P2 does SSH’s until P1 completes 8 reps. Flap-jack for 3 rounds.

So if you’re paying attention, that’s 2 new ones in my repertoire, that I’ll bring to an AO near you. The whole set seemed to be a crowd pleaser as plenty of grumbling, whining and complaining occurred. The GranTan tried to conjure up old memories of YHC’s blow-ups on relay races but that was just hiding his love for this pain. Let’s mosey back to the parking lot where we began.

Keep your partners for the Lazy Dora (because I didn’t think I had time for the full one). P1 runs about 25 yards and back while P2 performs:

• Diamond Big-Boys x 75 aggregate
• Donkey Kick + Plank Jack x 100 aggregate (another new one – PAX loved it)
• Flutter Kick (right leg) x 150 aggregate

With about 5 minutes left, let’s do more core work so Mary can be satisfied: all reps x 15: Dying Cockroach, Freddie Mercury, Corkscrew, low plank knee touches, low plank Peter Parker –> TIME!

There was plenty of mumble chatter today because it’s Midoriyama and that is what they do as the Nation’s Original Afternoon Workout. Nominated by the PAX is to amend Sister Act’s name to White Claw because he apparently loves the new girly beverage, maybe not as much as Starbucks Iced Coffee, but he enjoyed them at the Christmas Party. HIPAA wore his weighted vest and gutted through the plank work, especially the Scorpion Planks – T-Claps brother. There was a rumor Defib complained…if so, I take that as a compliment from one of the toughest PAX in our region (belated HBD).

COT: Announcements: 1/26 – Cavendish at 3 pm is a P200 meeting, followed at 4 pm by the Leadership Advisory Meeting (Def Leppard didn’t say PAX not on leadership couldn’t attend, so if you’re interested in what goes on at the top level – stop by and grab a beer and listen to the wisdom), look for new AO on Monday’s in Dallas at Ingles (do some exercise and then arrive at 0600 for prayer of the week). Prayers: Defib’s son, Swimmer’s MIL, Tiger’s Dad, Gumby’s recovery from surgery, Lil’ Sweet possible surgery, the prayer list Tiger submitted, there could have been others I failed to remember – my apologies, but the Sky Q knows.

Moleskin: It was good to be back in the circle…I’m still looking to get 100% of energy back but when you’re on the sidelines and unable to participate, I missed the workouts and the fellowship. It would be easy to fall out of the habit of fitness to become a Kotter or Sad Clown, but reading BB’s and Slack kept my interest and focus to be among the brotherhood…#healshortsale.