Tag: P200

Well, the time finally rolled around for the P200. After a year of waiting, we finally get to head south and put the running shoes on for 200+ miles of running bliss (or torture- it depends on how you look at it). YHC had rode with Montross to pick up our Mercedes Sprinter 10 passenger high top vans the day before. These vans are definitely worth the extra money, as long as they don’t leak (more on that later). YHC rolls up to the rally point (Pocket’s house) to find our driver (Big Pappy) wearing shirt, tie, slacks, dress shoes, coat with tails, and a top hat! Needless to say, he took the title of driver very seriously! Way to go, brother! After all PAX were accounted for, we loaded up and Jeeves (a.k.a. Big Pappy) took team Geritol south. We kinda dubbed van #2 team Geritol because 4 of the 6 runners are Respect age, EZ Rider is 49 and 1/2, and YHC is almost 48.

As we were rolling south, YHC told the PAX of my latest book I’m reading. It’s an autobiography of the greatest wrestler of all time, Ric Flair. YHC was glad to know he wasn’t the only PAX raised watching mid-Atlantic Championship wrestling. After the discussing had ended, we discovered we were doing the Ric Flair battle cry – WOOOOO! This would become the battle cry of van #2. Any time a PAX came into an exchange zone, he would yell WOOOOO to let the next runner know it was him. We also would yell WOOOOO out the window as we drove past our runner headed to the next EZ. Big Pappy was really into this. He loved it. We all did, but Pappy was really getting a kick out of it. In all honesty, it was a morale booster for all the PAX during the run.

We arrive at the EZ where van #1 will be passing off to us. Dr. Seuss comes in hot (literally. He was sweating. We have pictures as evidence). He passes the baton/ bracelet off to our salty Marine war horse, Oompa Loompa. Van #2 is on the course!

Oompa put his head down (the wind was a big factor during the whole race) and leads the charge with a great 3.21 mile leg.  He passes of to Purple Haze.

Haze takes off like he’d been shot out of a cannon. This is his first relay race, and he was determined to make it a good one! 3.96 miles at a sub- 8 minute pace. Baton is passed to Rip Van Winkle (a.k.a Def Leppard) who will eventually set a new PR for most hours slept during the P200.

Not to be outdone, the former Nantan pulls 6.76 miles with ease. Most guys believe he was just in hurry to get back in the van and go to sleep! Nonetheless, he passes the baton to our other 1st time relay runner, EZ Rider.

EZ Rider had that P200 first time power going. He pulls 3.53 at a 7:58 pace! WOOOOO! He passes off to Termite.

In his typical calm, cool manner, Termite laces up his Alphafly next% and cruises his first leg of 5.34 at just over 8 minute pace. He makes it look easy! He hands off to YHC.

YHC wanted to keep our van’s great pace up and pulled 8.85 at a 8:06 pace. Besides a left hamstring cramp with 100 yards to go, YHC was proud of his run. The baton is handed back over to Blart in van #1 and van 2 heads out to get some grub.

We stop at Vaselio’s Italian restaurant for food. Most guys carb up with pasta or eat light. Oompa orders a dozen buffalo wings with fries. That’s old school Marine mentality right there, folks. Oompa don’t care. YHC must remind you that our driver hasn’t broken character. He is still fully decked out in his formal driver attire. He got a few odd looks here and there, but he was a celebrity at the EZ’s. He had his picture taken, signed some autographs, and was an awesome representative for the Gashouse region. As we talked about our first legs we ran, Def Leppard looks as if he’s going to fall asleep into his baked Ziti. “I gotta get back to the van” he said. We roll out and as YHC does a head count, we are missing Purple Haze. We couldn’t find him. A couple minutes later, he comes out of the KITCHEN where he had thanked the cooking staff at Vaselio’s for a wonderful meal! That’s the kind of HIM that Haze is. We cannonball down to the EZ to get some R&R before we head out on our 2nd set of legs. It’s dark, chilly, windy and a light fog/ mist is falling.

These conditions are perfect for Oompa Loompa as van 1 passes off to us and van 2 takes over. He cranks out 3.86 miles without getting lost! The ol’ war horse is getting it done. Handoff is made to Purple Haze who told YHC he’d be smuggling grapes on this run. It must’ve worked because Haze crushed his 7.7 miler at a 8:04 pace. YHC is standing at the EZ waiting on Haze to show up. Def Leppard is getting ready (supposedly) in the van to take the baton from Haze. YHC hears the familiar WOOOOO! as Haze rolls into the exchange zone. He runs up to YHC with baton in hand and says “where the F&$% is Leppard!”. Nah, he didn’t. It did remind YHC of my first P200 when Tiny Tank stood in the EZ yelling “where the &*%$ is Slaw?!” YHC called Def Leppard to inform him that Haze was at the EZ waiting on him. Leppard claims it was due to a headlamp issue. Sure it was. Whatever the case, the old sage trots out of the van, grabs the baton  and pounds 5.3 miles of pavement with no issues at all.  Leppard passes off to EZ Rider then goes back to sleep in the van. EZ Rider stretches out, digs deep, callouses his mind and takes off on 8.75 miles of running in the dark. With our trademark WOOOOO! he pushes through the pain and rolls in the next EZ to hand off to Termite. Still calm, and stoic, Termite verifies his course, then runs 6.6 miles at a 8:02. The man makes it look easy. YHC then rolls out on a 5.95 miler straight down highway 17. YHC got a couple kills on this one. With a respectable 8:10 pace, we hand off to van #1.

We decided we needed rest over food, so Jeeves took us to the last EZ where we would begin our last set of legs for some sleep and snacks. YHC believes everyone got some rest on this one. In what seemed like only 30 minutes, Montross texted to let us know that Dr. Seuss was out on his last run. Time to wake the kids up. Purple Haze makes a last minute request to stop by CVS so he can get some Chap-Stic. It has been windy and cool (if not cold) the whole time. As we pull into CVS, Def Leppard comes out of his coma, looks around and asks “wha-wha-what are we doing at CVS?”. He also had to catch up on the progress of the other runners in our van who ran after he did. We all take restroom breaks in a heated bathroom (thank goodness) and head back to the exchange zone.

The last set of legs for van 2 were daunting to say the least (except for YHC). The sun is up, but it’s cloudy and the wind is blowing harder than ever. Oompa is pacing the sidewalk like he’s itching for a fight. He gets the baton and begins 6.53 miles of windy misery that takes him across the Isle of Palms Connector which is low bridge that ends in a pretty high bridge as you roll into the Isle of Palms. We had to wait at the other end of the bridge for Oompa. Oompa makes it to the IOP and is cramping up pretty bad. Since we were out of Midol, he had to settle for mustard packs and Gatorade. He chugged that down and swore he was going to catch the woman who passed him earlier. Haze and YHC look down the course and see no one. Maybe he’s hallucinating. As long as it keeps him motivated, we don’t care. Oompa runs his last 2 miles looking for this mystery woman. He makes the exchange to Purple Haze. Haze is off on his last leg that is 8.6 miles long. He had to backtrack Oompa’s route across the IOP connector, then 3.5 more miles inland to the EZ. YHC wouldn’t have wished this leg on his worst enemy. Haze rolls in completely spent from running against the wind. He finishes his leg by passing off to Def Leppard. Leppard gets the baton, stops, changes his Facebook status to “in a relay race”, then takes off on his final leg of 3.57 miles. He was almost hit by a car while running through a shopping center, but he stayed the course and crushed his last leg. EZ Rider says “hey, it’s a lot shorter than the 8.75 I just ran” and rolls out onto a VERY busy highway 17 for his last leg of 4.56 miles. As we wait on EZ Rider at the next EZ, Termite is stretching and tallying up how many kills he’s going to get on his last leg. EZ Rider comes in strong and passes off to Termite. Termite starts off slow to let the other runners think that they’ve gotten an easy kill by passing him. He then turns on the juice and gets a bunch of kills on his 7.1 mile trek. YHC is standing at the EZ waiting on the baton from Termite. Adrenaline starts pumping as YHC thinks about all the hard work by all his other brothers that has lead to this last leg. “Leave it all on the track. If you aren’t exhausted at the end, then you haven’t left it all on the track”. This keeps going through YHC’s mind as Termite is within sight. As YHC takes the baton, he heads out making sure he paces himself. He gets 2 kills on the way as van 2 rolls by with a victorious WOOOOO! With the finish line in sight (as well as my brothers) YHC finally pushes across the finish line with the guys (with Big Pappy still wearing his suit)! What an awesome experience! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

We stayed for the post-race festivities for a little while then headed for the hotel to finally take a hot shower. There was a lot of mumblechatter around the dinner table at the Mellow Mushroom. We woke up the next morning to cold rain and the same relentless wind. As we get into the van to head out for breakfast, Big Pappy makes a left turn and it rained inside the van! Termite was soaked. The rental company had failed to inform YHC that the roof mounted air conditioner had been damaged and the roof was leaking. They claim they had the leak fixed. Apparently not.

After breakfast, we put the van into the wind and headed home. We talked about the race all the way home. YHC also had time to reflect on van 2’s progress and achievements.

Oompa Loompa- The old Marine had his “Old man don’t give a $h1t” attitude and was as consistent as the day is long. He kept us laughing at his old sea stories (which YHC can definitely relate to).  With grit and determination, he pushed through his legs and got the job done.

Purple Haze- For a first time relay race runner, he didn’t show it. He crushed all of his legs, and was secure in his manhood to smuggle grapes on his 2nd leg. Even in the face of a very windy 8.6 miler, he was optimistic and finished strong. He was the only guy to go into the kitchen (or any kitchen) and thank the cooks. To YHC, that was awesome.

Def Leppard- The former Nantan displayed the traits of a true leader by hunkering down and running his legs hard. Even though he has been battling plantar fasciitis for 6 months, the man still posted times that were just as if he’d never took a break.  We are still trying to figure out how he was able to sleep so well in the van. New PR for Leppard.

EZ Rider- He could be a linebacker for an NFL team but he’s out in the gloom running a relay race. Another first timer to the relay race, he crushed it.  his first leg was sub-8 minute pace, night run was 8.75 miles, and he had to play Frogger on highway 17 for his last leg. When he finished, anyone could see he was proud. He should be. He performed flawlessly in his first P200.  WOOOOOO!!!

Termite- This man is sneaky fast. He loves getting those kills on the course. With all his legs around the 8 minute (and some sub-8’s), he really makes it look easy. He really does. If any of the other guys would’ve gotten hurt, he would’ve stepped in and took their miles without even thinking about it. He’s a machine that loves to run and it shows.

Big Pappy- As soon as YHC saw him in the full outfit, YHC knew we had the perfect driver for our van! He has become a legendary figure dressed as Jeeves. He never got tired and remained at the helm for the entire duration. He has a bunch of great and funny stories to tell, and YHC loved to hear them. When YHC asked him if he would want to be a driver in a future race, he said “Dang right! I’m ready to do another one!”. It’s the camaraderie that’s built during these races  that keeps us coming back for more. Thank You for driving, Big Pappy. We all had a blast!

As YHC finishes this BB, he wants to let the guys know that he had an awesome time and he’s proud that he was part of this team. Everyone accelerated during this race. Thank you guys for the great memories and we will definitely do it again!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

SYITG,

Slaw

I was really looking forward to the 2020 edition of the P200 but COVID had other ideas. F3 Gastonia was once again planning to send 2 teams of HIMs down to the Palmetto State push rocks from Columbia to Charleston. Weeks before the race, lockdowns were put in place, the race was cancelled and our registrations were pushed out for future Malak races. It was disappointing, but we move forward. After some back and forth, we decided to field one team this year (those who signed up for the 2020 race and did not run this year still have a spot on a team in a Malak race later this year or the 2022 P200). Incredibly, there were no injuries or illnesses that caused any runners to drop out. Honestly, I’m pretty amazed at that and I’m really thankful that everyone was able to run as planned!

This is the story of F3 Gastonia Fartsackers Van 1.
The Runners: Blart, Montross, Freight, Pockets, Broke, Dr. Seuss
The Driver: Ashhhh Pond

Van 1 met at the Romminger Family Compound at 4:30 a.m. and departed soon after. The team soon realized the Sprinter van was going to take this race to a new level. Guys were laid back in their leather chairs and relaxing to the hum of tires across the asphalt. That lasted about 5 minutes until we established the Driver Feedback Board. Since we didn’t have an actual board, this feedback was simply noted and shared verbally. Often. Sometimes, shared multiple times. Item 1: The Sprinter van shakes when drafting behind a semi-truck. Don’t follow too closely to large trucks. Item 2: That Honda is going slower than we are. Use the big pedal on the left. Item 3: This curve is a loop, we won’t make it at this speed. Remember, use the big pedal on the left. Bless him, Ash Pond was in for a verbal beating on this one! Despite a few adventures at the gas station (Item 4: Diesel goes in on the driver’s side. Item 5: Pockets is behind the van with the doors open) it was a pretty smooth ride. A few guys may have caught a quick nap along the way but we were sure to keep the driver alert and focused.

As we were standing around the starting line, we asked a guy to take a team picture. It was 10 minutes before the start of the race and he told us he couldn’t because he was the first runner on his team and needed to focus. Bro, it isn’t that competitive out here. (I am pleased to report Blart killed him on leg 1) His teammate stepped in and took it, proving he could both walk and chew gum at the same time. Blart smoked 8.2 miles like it was nothing. Note: Though the van window acts like a one-way mirror if you pee beside the van. I (Montross) knocked out 7.2 miles (which, by the way, I haven’t run over 6 since mid-2020). Freight crushed 5.3 miles. Pockets and Broke got some short runs in with 2.25 and 2.5 miles, respectively. Dr Seuss finished things up with a STRONG 8.07 miles, where he average 6:59/mile. 6s on a long run has been a goal of Seuss for a while so it was awesome to see him hit that milestone! He also broke a sweat, which is pretty amazing in itself. The first set of legs went well and were rewarded for our hard work with a stretching clinic right in front of our van. If you need a demo, talk to Freight. I’ll leave it at that.

Van 1 took off for Cracker Barrell for some vittles and banter. Rest assured more driver feedback was given. “Sorry guys” in a somber and defeated voice became a thing. We got some nice rest one of the 13,287 AME churches in South Carolina as we waited for Van 2 to arrive. I think it was at that point Broke realized he had not washed his sleeping bag from last year. It was great rest as hunting dogs howled, porta-potty doors were slammed, and the wind picked up. Seuss looked he had the worlds most comfortable blanket in the back of the van as snuggled with the window.

As the second round of legs began, the wind never seemed to let up. Though it pales in comparison to the challenges facing the Mortimer teams (running trails through rivers in the dark and such..read the backblast), it was not ideal. Blart went 7.4 miles which was very impressive after just running over 8 earlier. Those two legs back to back are pretty darn impressive and I heard Rip Van Leppard commenting on it later. Along the way, we discovered the Holly Hill Airport…errr…Airstrip. We parked at the very end of the runway and were talking about how cool it would be if a plan flew over us and landed and, sure enough, about 2 minutes later, a plane buzzed over and landed. Crazy timing! Blart got a kill 15 feet from the starting line and handed off as I ran my short leg at 2.45 miles with a disappointing pace (I’m blaming the wind). Freight followed with a blistering 9.68 mile run that may have include some bad execution by the fan. Clearly we do not know what Adidas is or where it’s located, right Freight? As we proceeded to the next stop, someone asked if we should stop and give Freight one more water opportunity. “He’ll be aight” was the answer and we rolled to the exchange zone. He was not ‘aight’ and he let us know about it, but he made it to the exchange zone anyway and handed off to Pockets for a 3.77 mosey. Broke knocked out a blistering 9.73 miles including 6 kills. I was so pumped as I was standing among 5 or so other teams, eagerly awaiting their runner to come into the exchange zone, only to see Broke emerge from the darkness ahead of all of them. Nice run! Despite Ash Pond taking off and not realizing Seuss was changing clothes in the back of the van earlier, Seuss was unrattled and knocked out 9.2 miles in typical Seuss fashion in the low 7s after setting the milestone earlier. After handing off to van 2, we grabbed some Wendys. Item 6: The air conditioning unit sits on top of the van and is 11 feet tall. Double-check the height of the van before driving under a drive-thru. (Side note: I later found out van 2 had the air conditioning knocked off during a previous rental and that caused it to leak. Fortunately, van 1 narrowly avoided the same problem!). A few greasy burgers and chicken sandwiches later, van 1 arrived at the exchange zone for some much needed rest. Most everyone except the driver was dozing off during this 40 minute ride. Big shout-out to Ash Pond for staying alert and pushing through.

Some decent rest was had as we waited for van 2. Freight decided to sleep just behind the van. It probably seemed like a great way to block the wind. It got sorta cold though so imagine his surprise as Ash Pond fired up the van to get the heat going. I believe his response was ‘Thank goodness for clean diesel.’ Props to Slaw for showing Ash Pond and I how to lean back the front seats of the van at the last exchange zone! Pockets and Broke also decided to sleep outside, but further away from the tail pipe.

Van 2 arrived as expected and Blart took off for his final leg – a 2.24 stroll through a small neighborhood. It was cold & windy and I have never been as jealous of Blart as I was when he handed the baton for my final run. He was done and I had a 6 mile stroll down Hwy 17. I believe the term “He’ll be aight” was used again as the van headed to the exchange zone and I gritted it out as I finished up my leg. Freight was obviously excited to be running as he as still approaching the exchange zone as I finished. Ash Pond noted that one of Freight’s turned looked sorta sketchy and asked if we should wait. My response: “He’ll be aight”. Fast Ricky proceeded to turn 3.94 miles into about 5 as he missed that turn. Despite what he says, I know he really appreciated those extra miles. Pockets took the baton and proceeded to run 5.37 miles across the Cooper River Bridge and back. There was nothing stopping the wind as he made his final run. I know it was brutal. Fortunately, he found an invisible bathroom at the top of the bridge and did his part to warm the waters below. ‘What else do you when you get to the top of a bridge like that?’ Touche Pockets, touche. Broke took the handoff just after 7:30 am (meaning no more lights) and ran his last 3.13 miles. He also nearly missed his turn as well but real men learn from previous mistakes and we waited for him to make sure he didn’t miss. Seuss finished our runs off with a quick 2.94 mile run and handed off to van 2. We were done and it felt great!

The power of Blart’s moustache was not quite enough as our plan to shower at the local KOA fell thru. He was expecting to sweet-talk a chunky chick but wound up talking to a dude. The Nantan came thru and talked us into some showers at Planet Fitness. No judgement here fellas. The feeling of a shower after a relay is one of life’s greatest treasures and made our 50 minute wait for breakfast a bit more easy. We gathered at “park” and knocked down a few beverages before joining Slaw and van 2 for a short jaunt across the finish line! Another P200 is in the books! Much fun and merriment was had as both vans celebrated, grabbed some dinner and just hung out at the hotel. We were all beat and I believe the lobby cleared out around 10.

All of the guys in Van 1 did a heck of a job in the relay and got a little better. There’s no doubt in my mind that every guy in our van gave 100%. As Freight told me before my first P200, the journey is really the best part of a relay. That’s truth, for sure. The comradery on these relays is incredible. That time in the van is a way to enjoy fellowship with a few guys you know and get to know the ones you don’t know a little better. Every man needs a little time away with his buddies and I’m so glad to get to spend the weekend with these guys!

As I wrap it up, I want to give a special thanks to Ash Pond! We gave him a hard time along the way but he did an absolutely awesome job driving the van. He was paying attention when we were not. He was the one who gave us an opportunity to rest and prepare. He was out there encouraging us and was truly part of the team. I have only met him a few times so I personally enjoyed getting to know him better. Awesome guy and top tier driver! We could not have done it without Ashhhhh Pond!

I sure hope Sister Act can qualify for next year’s P200.

‘Til the next one….

-Montross

Van 1 at the starting line

Let’s go Blart!

Up close and personal

Handoff

Yes, he actually does sweat

Pockets shut the door on this sleeping bag

Snuggle buddies

Holly Hill Fly-By

No Trespassing Freight!

Night moves

Is that a pecker?

Is this stretching or pole dancing?

F3 Gastonia Fartsackers

Medals!

Bad boys bad boys, what ya gonna do….