Author: Short Sale (Page 8 of 20)

It seems the only two places I’ve been in F3 this year have been on the IR or headed to the IR. That’s Injured Reserve if you’re keeping score at home. I just don’t recall more than a few weeks where my body felt right. Maybe that is something to do with crossing into the “respect” category. But look at Tesla, Oompa, Dirt, Virus, and don’t forget Dr. Seuss. Those guys keep pushing to set the bar so I guess I better get with the program. Time Frame put out the call for Q’s and I signed up.  That’s been the challenge recently as my newest injury is a pinched nerve causing numbness in my arm. Voodoo is working to get me fixed up so I should be into the gloom before too long, at least modifying to keep up. But holding the Q power today, I got to pick the workout, so I slowed things down. You know like when the DJ at the middle school dance announces it’s ladies request and you secretly hope the hottest thing since puberty grew hair in places never seen gives you that smile and stretches out her hand for your opportunity to hold her so close for a slow song. Not George Strait slow, cause who could get laid to that twang? Maybe some Journey or Lionel Richie, the kind of shit Sargento has on his playlist. Slaw probably has a boner at this point thinking back to his middle school days or time on the big ship. The point is, I tried something different today. The veteran crew of the Bulldog lugged out their kettlebells but they’d barely be used. Here’s an idea of the events:

Warm-up:

• Cotton Pickers IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge IC x 10

Thang:

Began with some yoga and stretching. I’m not a professional as you know, so have no idea what these positions were called. Really a combination where we focused on legs, particularly glutes. We did some triangles, deep lunge with twists, straight legs, downward dogs, upward dogs, pigeon pose, hollows, seated forward, glute bridges, and a bunch of other stuff. We held for various times and usually sets of 3.  There were some groans and grunts along the way.

We then switched to some weights holding the weight directly overhead and doing 20 full big boys, 20 reverse crunches, and 20 of something else I can’t recall.

We then moved to core with this routine from www.darebee.com. The only difference were the 10 sit-ups were done as butterfly with feet touching rather than knees up. Check out this site if you ever need some ideas or want a home workout. We repeated that routine 3 times total.

Announcements: Christmas Party December 11th – look for pre-blast; Christmas 5k Saturday night. Prayer Requests: town of Waukesha, WI, especially those families of the deceased and injured; healing for our country; safe travels for those on the roads to visit families and friends.

Moleskin: I thank the PAX for allowing the chance to lead this change of pace workout. We certainly put our bodies through enough beat-downs and punishment that an morning like this is a good change of pace. We’re not getting any younger so we need to take care of ourselves. Maybe something like this would work on a consistent basis? I’ll talk to the First F Q, I hear he’s creative.

Short Sale

This isn’t really the ballad of Phat Ricky, our former Nantan and current Q of Service, Freight, aka Phat Ricky and various other monikers. Freight was our Q for the sophomore run of The Bourbon Chase but I needed something catchy for the title of Van 1’s epic adventure and so that leads us into todays episode which began months ago.  The lineup underwent several changes due to injuries and various other maladies. Our captain continued to recruit alternates as guys dropped out of the event. Once again, a driver subbed for a runner on the third leg, but that was Van 2 and they have their own story to tell. If we’re being honest, concerning Van 1 to quote the great Ricky Bobby: “Here’s the deal, I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.” There is a reason for this homage and it’s not because of the Wednesday morning AO (Sargento declined to participate in this epic event anyway). No, these tributes came because of the creativity of our driver – Big Pappy. At the P200, Big Pappy shows for duty in a formal tux with top hat. How can you top that? Big Pappy recruits Van 2 Driver Pockets into the gig. Not only does Pappy put on the Cal Naughton, Jr. racing suit, but he shaves his gray duck dynasty like beard into a horseshoe style and then colors the gray. At 0615 when I saw him in the lobby of the hotel, I did a double-take to ensure it was in fact Pappy. It’s been said many times before, but no relay is successful without the van driver. They are the literal driving force for the team. It takes a servant heart to do this job and that certainly fits Big Pappy as we’ve all come to know. Going into character just added flair to the event. How so you ask? My only comparison is being in Times Square in NYC where there are many dressed in various costumes, roaming the sidewalks and closed off streets. Maybe you’re like me where my young kids asked to get their picture made with some characters (Mickey and Minnie or maybe it was a Seseme Street costume, doesn’t matter). As I walked away, I was accosted by an outstretched arm requesting some contribution for their “fame.” For the weekend, either alone but especially when together, race participants flocked to Ricky and Cal for photos. Even the race organizers requested photos with our guys. Even for those not requesting photos, movie quotes would get yelled at them as they walked by. We all appreciated Pappy and Pockets efforts but both were glad to finally get out of the suits after wearing for more than 30 hours.

All the participants agreed upgrading to the Mercedes luxury passenger van would be preferred, especially for the lengthy trip to Bardstown, KY. Learning from past mistakes, we opted not for the General Shelton Inn and their bedbugs but probably the largest Hampton Inn ever constructed. The trip from the front desk to our room was about as long as my 3rd leg but they did have some free breakfast included. Van 1 went with the following order of runners: Flintstone, Boudin, Oompa Loompa, Short Sale, Broke, and Freight. One of the allures of the Bourbon Chase are the distilleries which serve as exchange zones but for the 2021, most were unavailable. So the legs changed quite a bit as the Ragnar organizers searched for new exchange zones in the first part of the race. The good news was most of the 9 mile routes Van 1 was to have were reduced, all except Freights, more on that in a minute.

At 0730 on a pleasant but dark morning, Flintstone lined up with about 20 or so others at the starting line. The gun sounded and Boudin asked our virgin starter for a fist bump to start the race. As such, Flintstone was last off the starting line but this was oh so brief as he quickly picked up steam and 3.5 miles later arrived at the first exchange having collected 19 kills. In relay racing lingo we call this “a Sargento” as it is a sneaky tactic to collect the running currency. Boudin began the course in daylight with 4.4 miles. On his entry form, he put his pace at 9:00 but he blistered his route with a 7:45/mile pace. In running lingo we call this “a Broke.” Oompa ran by our hotel getting some brief cheers from Van 2 and then strolled into Bardstown in just 3.1 miles. Next was yours truly for 3.7 miles through a neighborhood and then by Heaven Hill Distillery (Elijah Craig, Larceny, Old Fitzgerald, Henry McKenna) where the distillery was closed because the workers were picketing. The nice thing was they were cheering us on and so we reciprocated with a “good luck” or “give ’em hell” reply. Broke was next with the baton taking off for 8.3 miles of elevation. A few miles in it began to rain but thankfully it wasn’t too cold. The EZ was at an small general store in Manton, KY which this EZ is the equivalent of Spencer Mountain Baptist Church – kind of quaint. Boudin and I talked to some of the locals and got some coffee. As we gathered at the start getting Freight fired up, we noticed one of the female runners that would be joining Freight on the longest leg in relay race history. You know our drivers dressed as the baddest race car drivers in motion picture history. Well, the theme of this year’s Bourbon Chase was “Where’s Waldo.” Non-F3 Relay Runners tend to be a little wacky so plenty of people portrayed the lost character with red/white striped shirts, toboggan, and black-rimmed round glasses. This chick running with Freight had to find a Triple-X red/white stripped shirt, why is that significant you wonder? It was that size to contain two of the largest marvels of the world. This poor girl was starting off with two handicaps. Luckily she had a number of friends in her van that could help her tie her shoes. So with two wind-bags pushing her along, she did quite well. It certainly was enjoyable to watch her bounce across the finish line. But she didn’t do as well as our boy Freight. When these legs came out, there was never a doubt our Gorge Runner was taking this on as a challenge. Surprisingly, he’s never run a half marathon, though he’s rode a full marathon on a bike with only one pedal – go figure? This challenging leg not only was long but had over 1000 feet of elevation gain, with 200 of it on one hill after the 2nd mile. Oh, did I mention it was a steady rain for his entire run? Yeah it was – it sucked worse than an SA beatdown, but hey – Freight wouldn’t want it any other way (#toughasnails). So for all you fleet footed guys in our region (I’m talking PM, GD, Q, Defib and even Seuss), Freight has the belt for the longest relay run – y’all feel free to pry it out of his hands.

Van 1 was out and drove 20 or so miles west to downtown Danville, KY. Kind of reminds me of Mount Holly. Having collected 80 kills we were among the first groups to arrive which was great because we were the third group to arrive at Bluegrass Pizza and Pub. Like everyone in KY, they were a bit short staffed. The manager asked us if we wanted a job but we had business to take care of. So we all ordered food and a few of us got some beers as a treat for our first leg. I was the odd one that ordered a pizza in a pizza place. I was also the dumb one as they forgot to place my order, so after everyone finished eating, they brought my pizza but it was free, so I guess that was a bonus. We all went to the van and tried to rest, which is hard late in the afternoon. Broke grabbed his sleeping mat and attempted to sleep despite the drizzle rain drops. Flintstone had plenty of warm-up time and finally Leppard moseyed in and we were back on. If you see the map, we basically ran about 15 miles south and looped 15 or so miles back to Danville. Flintstone and Boudin had some natural daylight and then it turned dark on Oompa. One of the things we learned about finishing early is one team got put in the penalty box for 2 hours because they beat the exchange zone volunteers. We discussed intentionally slowing down so not to encounter that problem. I was just the man to accept that challenge. I began my 6.6 night run at a 9:45 pace – wow – a little slower than I thought. I definitely complied with the plan eventually making it to Broke for his short 4.5 run. Of course he burned it up, what was that plan about slowing down? Don’t ever tell Broke to go slow. Freight had the same 4.5 length which was a welcome to his legs after the epic near half marathon. No sign of bouncy Waldo on that leg. Van 1 finished up and we traveled to Anderson County High School where the Athletic Booster Club, fresh off a 56-0 loss to Boyle County brought left over hamburgers and hotdogs, chips and drinks for all of us hungry runners to purchase. Kidding about the food, they grilled it for us. They also opened their gym and for $20 per van, we could all “sleep” in the gym. Not Boudin though. He doesn’t sleep on relays, so he moseyed around the parking lot. Pappy played night watchman and slept in the captain’s chair. I think Oompa was in the van. The rest of us found a spot in the dark gym and tried to rest our eyes. This is about like sleeping on a plane but to my surprise, according to my watch, I got over two hours. I guess exhaustion takes over at some point. We set our alarms for 2:15 am to get ready for the final part. Little did we know the final cell of rain had some lightening that paused the race – all except Termite that powered through. But there was some delay for Sarlaac to begin and that pushed us back. We were awake  by that point so not much we could really do but shoot the breeze. Finally Flintstone went for his longest run of 7.3 miles. We traveled to the smallest EZ created where we had to squeeze onto a gravel road in single file. This became a problem because of the storm that bottle-necked the race. Boudin had his most difficult leg of 8 miles that he handled with ease. Oompa’s final run was his shortest at 2.6 handing off to me for the shortest leg of 2.2 on a relatively flat course into the town of Versailles. Gold Digger or Pizza Man might have been able to beat the van to the EZ and I gave it a great effort running my best splits of the event. I did have one jack-ass cut off about a mile of the shortest leg – in Van 1 we call that being a pussy. Broke had his longest at 8.5 miles which he was excited because it went by Woodford Distillery. Unfortunately it wasn’t open, but he enjoyed the rolling hills of horse country as daylight broke (no pun intended). Last was Freight for his shortest run of 3.8 but unfortunately it was straight up a small mountain about the cup size of bouncy Waldo (really 350 feet elevation). But as we said, he’s tough one and he finished out our morning completing our race.

Van 1 finished with 160 kills – yes, you should be impressed. Now we did learn on the way home that Oompa had a few runners that he killed, got killed by them, killed them one more time only to be killed (or something like that). So we may need to petition The Committee for an official ruling on re-counting kills. Flintstone led the way with 37 followed by Boudin with 31. YHC had 26 with the last three of Broke, Freight and Oompa with 22 each (see first statement if Oompa’s fully count). Obviously with a longer drive of 8-ish hours to the race and 7-ish hours home plus the time between, we learned a few things about each other – you always do – which if you’ve never done one of these, you better find a team. Hopefully 2022 will offer the full slate of Malaks or Ragnars. For male camaraderie, you can’t beat it. You put in the time (training) but then you get to test it and through shared suffering, know that you did your part to advance the baton. Pretty much the essence of F3. Here are some highlights from conversation and notes:

• On the way to Bardstown, a temporary light in the town of Danville was so slow, stacking traffic up for miles. It prompted Freight to say: “I’ve been to 2 Worlds Fairs and seen lesbian goats screw, but never have I seen a light take this long…”
• Broke and Freight recounted Sister Act’s story of having his M give him an enema. Freight said it spoiled any chance of child birth because SA’s M was his nurse for Carly. Feel free to ask SA about it but word to the wise – don’t do it when beginning a 10 mile training run.
• Oompa sees a skinny lady runner on the course: “My titties are bigger than hers, and mine jiggle too.”
• “I’m gonna send them a strongly worded text!” – said by several of us as a punchline throughout the event
• On Broke’s final run, he got killed at the finish line by a guy with no legs…he was in an arm pedal wheel chair that was going 40 mph at the time.
• We finished the race at 1 pm and the band/bourbon tasting wasn’t scheduled to begin until 4 pm – only bourbon we drank was courtesy of Pappy and Pockets.
• Broke and Flintstone’s sleep in the gym was interrupted by a guy coughing, farting and whistling
• Boudin loves zombies – part of why he doesn’t sleep on these things apparently. After hearing some zombie stories about the Living Dead, Oompa recalls his route goes by a graveyard.
• We all had our share of Covid tests – which was any fart contained in the van (that’s one of those you had to be there to get the timing and the effect – delirium helps).
• Pappy used Just For Men to color his mustache to look more like his character
• Trying to get some guys to tell me their favorite parts of the weekend. Some are direct quotes and others I made up (you figure which is which):
  • Boudin – not sleeping, avoiding zombies
  • Broke – doing shots on the ride
  • Flintstone – Pappy & Pockets, greeting our runners at the EZ, Leg 25 and the crappy 25 EZ, the second F and the meals together
  • Oompa – Pappy driving and camaraderie
  • Freight – seeing the finish line after 12.2 miles
  • Short Sale – not having to navigate one moment of the trip

Apologize for the delayed post and the length. No moleskin necessary. Hopefully the next time we tackle the Bourbon Chase, life is normal and we get the experience of the distilleries as EZ’s like we had in 2018. The mercedes vans are worth the money. And Lord willing Pappy will drive us and we’ll see what character/costume he breaks out next.

Van 1 is off the course. (Finished 119 out of 323 in 29 hours, 35 minutes; All men: 27/53)

Short Sale

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It’s been a while…not since leading a workout but posting at one. I checked my calendar and the last one was the Convergence. Then Sargento’s positive COVID put me in quarantine and then my daughter got COVID (but I’m still blaming Sargento because it’s more fun to blame him). Not to worry, I’ve had 4 negative tests, a jab and the antibody infusion. But the other reason for lack of posts has been training for the Bourbon Chase which was another great relay with my F3 brothers (that BB is in the works).

So time to climb back on the bootcamp horse and get going because after all, we’re in the midst of a 40 day challenge. So I picked up the open slot for the nation’s premier afternoon workout. After a brief disclaimer which I’m not even sure the PAX were listening, we kicked off things like this:

• Warm-up
• Toy Soldier IC x 10
• Imperial Walkers IC x 10
• Don Quixote IC x 10
• MNC’s IC x 10
• Pledge

Mosey up toward the soccer fields. I intended to use the small one but some guys already there with cones out to practice soccer, so we moved to the larger field – sign in the field said “Do Not Use Field.” Even though we were going to lightly run across it, we’re F3 men and need to set the example, so we followed the rules and moved to the next field to set up shop. Today’s workout would be fairly simple; unique for one of my Q’s but when you put the Weinke together on short notice, that’s what it will be. But nothing wrong with simplicity. Sister Act’s exicon only has about 10 exercises.

• 20 SSH + 20 Squats + run the width of the soccer field and return
• 20 Lunges (10 R/10 L) + 20 LBCs + run width
• 20 Merkins + 20 Dips + run width
• 20 Flutter Kicks + 20 Plank Jacks + run width
• Repeat 4-ish rounds

I had 5 rounds on the card. The larger soccer field extended the time to run so had to cut it short.  But that was okay – the PAX were quiet during the first few rounds…throw a bunch of exercises and reps at them and they have to use their noodles a bit. Slaw and Seuss were out front followed by SA. Blart pushed Freight along. Lil’ Sweet performed in his work uniform and workboots – that’s dedication, even handled a work call between reps. Tiger took a piss break in the woods and those were the highlights. It took about 3 rounds before the complaints started. The PAX had come expecting one of my creative Q’s…okay, so let’s give them something. With about 15 minutes left I call off the first Thang and announced: “Partner 11’s with Boo-Ya merkins making it dirty.” Sounds about right for one of my complex Q’s. So how does this algorithm work you’re dying to know?

Use the width of the 18 yard box front the soccer goal. Partners stand on opposite sides and begin with 10 Mtn Climbers. They run toward each other (think Bo Derek in 10 from back in the day. That movie was considered soft porn in those times but now that stuff is on Disney in the afternoon). Partners arrive in the middle for 5 Boo-ya merkins, then proceed to the opposite side which they came to do 1 Imperial Walker Squat (count the squat). Return to your starting side, stopping in the middle for another 5 Boo-ya merkins. Arrive at your starting line for 9 Mtn Climbers and so on…we got to 5 Mtn Climbers and 6 Imperial Walker Squats before calling it a day. For the record that was 55 merkins per partner in the middle. Return to base.

Announcements: Sign up for the Extinction Run on 11/6; Blood Drive on 11/10. Christmas Party is 12/11. Prayer requests: Goudelock family, Tiger’s M and kids (I forgot that one in the prayer), SA and 2.0. I took us out in prayer.

Nice to be back in the fold. The workout was simple, sort of but effective. Guys got to run their traps and get a full body push of upper, lower, running, and core. Wojo gets credit for workout out with his son practicing football on the corner of the field beside us. Don’t worry, he got in a “Good job Leppard” to encourage our rock pusher (who was on his second workout of the day). Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

The Gastonia Region held it’s Third Quarter Convergence Saturday, October 2nd in Downtown Gastonia at the Rotary Pavilion, the normal site of the Friday workout. In case you’ve not noticed, we (SLT) move the Region Convergences around to various AOs including some weekly AOs (see Q2 Convergence at The Bulldog). The Downtown location offers plenty of options, including Gastonia’s three-story (six-level) parking deck attached to the Conference Center.

This was Week 4 of the Iron Pax Challenge which Freight led in the parking lot. I heard it sucked. For the rest of the PAX, including one FNG, I had a bootcamp designed for all levels – that’s all levels of the parking deck and all levels of ability. A brief disclaimer included the standard language of “you vs. you, modify as necessary, etc.” was apparently way too long of verbal instruction for our old Nantan, Tool Time. But no worries – I’m accustomed to ignoring him as I gained that experience when I “worked for him” as the Weasel Shaker and he would text me at 0400 in the morning with brilliant ideas. But it’s always good to have the King of Mumble Chatter back with us. So, let’s get a workout in, shall we:

• SSH IC x 10
• Toy Soldier IC x 10
• Imperial Walkers IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge IC x 10
• Mosey to the Parking Deck

Today would combine bootcamp and pain lab workouts. I began to explain that to the assembled PAX, but like a bunch of school children, they were busy talking to one another. Even the teacher himself, Dr. Seuss had to be called out. Once semi quiet I shared the format of the workout. Grab a partner. I had three poster boards A, B, and C. Each of the signs had 5 or 6 envelopes with mini-workouts written for the PAX to execute. Some workouts had coupons but most were body-weight. The workouts made use of the 6 levels in the parking deck. Some required running from the top to bottom or side to side. All required work. In all there were 17 different workouts available but I most of the PAX ended up doing two to three of them.

The point was to keep the PAX working for about 45-ish minutes before we handed off to Breaker Breaker who brought biscuits, donuts, coffee, and water for some 2nd F and then we had the aforementioned Tool Time provide us with some leadership lessons and how we can lean on each other through the tough times.

Announcements: Freight’s Service Project – October is a catch-up month that we’ll look to even things out. Be prepared to support and serve. Extinction Run 11/4; Christmas Party tentative 12/11.

Prayer Requests: Bos’ family, Flintstone’s Sister, Huck’s Mom, the PAX. I took us out.

Thanks to all the PAX that posted today and pushed their rocks. Welcome to Nathan Taylor as our FNG that will be known among us as Hotdog. It could have been a lot worse as the more he described about himself the deeper the hole he dug.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

This coming Saturday we have a chance to come together as a region for our Third Quarter Convergence. All regular Saturday AO’s will be closed and the PAX will gather at 0700 in Downtown Gastonia at the Rotary Pavilion, site of the original Friday workout for our region. If you’ve never had a chance to post at this space well it looks like Christmas came early for you. Downtown presents a lot of options in particular Gastonia’s version of the Mothership. No we do not have an 12 story helix, but we do have three-stories of concrete jungle that can wear you out just the same.

Here are the options that I’m aware of at the moment:

• Iron Pax Challenge Week 4 – Freight will lead this and even if you’re not officially registered, you can attempt this workout. If you do, bring a kettlebell, block or weight for the lifting portions.
• Pain Lab/Bunker guys – well guess what? HIPAA is out of town and Tube appears unlikely to post either due to doctors advice or family event. So that Q is open but if no one wants it – I’ve got that covered.
• Bootcamp – I’ve got the Q – prepare for the worst.

My goal is to try to end the workout a little earlier than usual so we can get the COT completed but also to give way to Breaker Breaker and a 3rd F program. Below is what Breaker shared:

With us all converged together, what a great time to incorporate all 3 F’s, Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith. After the workout, stick around for about an hour for some coffeteria and some 3rd F. There will be biscuits, doughnuts, coffee, and water to help you refuel after the convergence beat down. We will take about 20 -25 minutes after the workout to cool down, grab some food and fellowship with some F3 brothers you don’t see very often. We will then start circling up for some 3rd F (Faith). We have a special out of region F3 brother that will be speaking to us on Faith which should last about 20 – 25 minutes.

So we look forward to seeing as many of you as possible Saturday morning. If you’d like to Q the PainLab – reach out to me. I’m sure Breaker could use some assistance with the food and drinks – so reach out to him and let him know if you can assist.

Share this reminder with your brothers at this week’s COT: Saturday, 10/2 at 0700, Downtown Rotary Pavilion in Gastonia.

Short Sale

I started the week off with a Q at The Sandlot and ended it with a Q Downtown. A few PAX had the pleasure to attend both. This was new for me as I was “Weinke-less.” No notes, nothing on my phone, just a loose idea of what I might do. Now, not to worry, I do adhere to the Q-Source doctrine of “Preparedness” and on my drive home last night from a Fantasy Football draft, I did contemplate some ideas to entertain the PAX. The circle gathered and a brief disclaimer was shared and away we went.

Warm-up:

• Imperial Walker IC x 10
• Toy Soldier IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge IC x 10
• MNC’s IC x 10
• 5 burpees OYO for the train

Head south on South Street stopping at the stone benches on the right side. All PAX face south with a foot on the bench – 10 leg raises right, flip for 10 on the left, 10 dips; repeat. The benches had some height so the quads got activated. We crossed the street and hung a left on Franklin Blvd, moseying to the front of the Wells Fargo building and their 3 steps. We’ve not done this in a while – it is a Spiderman special – Deep Sea Divers. Get in plank, feet on first step; 5 merkins, increase a step to 10 and finally the third step for 15. Hold plank for 30 seconds…descend but doing shoulder taps for 15, 10, and 5.  Let’s mosey into the First Methodist/bank parking lot and use the big brick wall of the Wesley Center. We’ll go with a Dora:

• P1 runs to the bank building and returns; P2 exercises:
• 100 Dirty Hook-ups
• 200 Donkey Kicks
• Wall Sits – I know – you’re saying “huh?” Well we weren’t doing 300 hip slappers  – that’s for sure. So wall sits were suggested. The runners ran two laps while their partner sat. Probably should have done 3 turns but oh well.

The sweat was brewing at this point. I had about 20 minutes to kill so we migrated to MLK Blvd and Franklin Blvd intersection (Wells Fargo/Conference Center intersection). We’ll do 11’s but use the block between Franklin and Second that has the nice hill to climb. Begin with 10 merkins and 1 squat working down/up. The block is a little long for this. Sister Act led the way lapping the field. All the others gutted it out. Between the elevation and humidity, this was a burner. We couldn’t finish so halted with 5 minutes to go in order to return on time.

Announcements: Snowbird, JJ5k, Labor Day Special AO in McAdenville. Prayer requests: JJK2/Bob the Builder daughter/sister, Sister Act 2.0, soldiers/Americans and civilians in Afghanistan, our country. I took us out.

No moleskin today – hope the PAX have a good weekend. Make sure to help out our new Site Q Captain Stubing and fill some Q slots for him.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

Short Sale

Today, at least for Gaston County Schools starts a new milestone for 2.0’s of various ages. Actually some of these starts have occurred over the past week or so, but regardless of when, a new step has occurred. Even at a respectful age now, I can remember some of those first days. I vaguely remember, but my mother enjoys recalling 45 years ago when I wouldn’t get out of the car for kindergarten. For about the first 2 weeks (so I’m told) I cried every morning not to “take me to that place!” Sounds a little like F3 except the crying came after the workouts. Flash forward, class of ’22 Seniors are ready to embrace this moment they’ve been awaiting for years. Confident and ready to assume their mantel of leadership. Quite the opposite for the 6th and 9th graders, entering bigger schools with older kids. Hoping not to get lost or to make an “uncool” mistake. Kind of like an FNG.

I arrive to The Sandlot with only 2 minutes to spare. The circle is formed and chatter is mumbling. Larger group than normal – I wondered if there was a special celebration I was not privy? Ah, who cares, happy to see some guys out in the gloom as I’ve been taking Mondays off recently. Not today, nope, we’re getting this $hit show going early.  Some new faces and a Kotter or two, but no FNGs – still the disclaimer – perform the suggested exercise, modify as needed and don’t sacrifice form. Rarely do I begin my warm-up with Side Straddle Hops but what the hell:

Warm-up:

• Side-Straddle-Hop – in cadence…since I don’t really like this, let’s make the most of it…how long can we go? Once past 20, I wanted to see who would break form first. JK2 was the first I saw, then Whoopee…then I see headlights pull into the parking lot. Who might this be running behind…Cinderella takes a slow mosey to the circle, tying his shoe and various other delay tactics…I announce “we’re not stopping until you join.” EZ Rider says we got to 50 in cadence (Linus – if your tracking at home that’s 100 total reps).
• Next up – Imperial Walker IC x 10
• Side to Side Lunge – IC x 10 (these are better than cotton pickers because Whoopee will do them but they’re effective to open your adductors, hamstrings, and glutes – google it!)
• I think I did one more warm-up-ish exercise. I can’t recall. JK2’s mouth was moving faster than his body so he did get me discombobulated a bit trying to correct my call. Yes, officially these exercises are all in cadence even though I didn’t say “in cadence.”
• Pledge of Allegiance
• Mosey to Martha Rivers Park and the picnic shelter by the turd shack. This would be our home base for the day.

Thang:

I’m nursing a groin-like injury at the moment. Happened when I did weighted glute bridges last Saturday when I was unable to post but did a YouTube video from my girl Caroline Girvan (check her out for some ideas or a tough workout – or just check her out physically – she’s more ripped than Gold Digger). Note to self – don’t put a 30 lb dumbbell across your junk and imitate Slaw air humping – not a good combination…not really a good visual either, sorry for that. Where was I? oh yeah, my groin hurts. Voodoo offered some advice on Saturday and I’ve done some stretching, rucked instead of ran at the Coconut Horse so hopefully I can get through this Q. I drew inspiration from the WOD site, combining a few ideas into what I thought would work the entire body and avoid having to do any open body weight stuff like flutter kicks or big boys that would aggravate my injury. Now, that is not to say the exercises I selected wouldn’t aggravate the PAX various injuries – but, I did say modify as needed and I am the Q (hint: JK2 if you don’t like what I say – you can Q and do your own thing).

What did we do you’re wondering? 5 exercises, 25 reps each for 4 rounds. After each circuit is complete, run across the parking lot and return.

• Hand Release Merkins
• Squats
• Dips
• Plank Jacks
• Turtle Crunch (back of calves on the bench, sit up)
• Run
• Rinse & repeat 4 times

Next to burpees, I’m of the opinion that HR Merkins are nearly as difficult, especially 25 reps where your arms fatigue. But even if you cut the corner w/o a straight back, you’re still pushing your body weight off the ground. Unlike merkins when you can do baby-pulses for high rep counts. Now combine that move with dips and plank jacks and a nice burn should occur between your elbows and shoulders – maybe not as swole as Cougar benching 350 but definitely feeling it. However, I think I heard the most bitching for the Turtle Crunches…yeah – there not easy either. Even with your feet able to grip the bench and getting you started – it’s pretty much all abs pulling you up to the bench. Keep that in mind when you need to quite the crowd.

So that took longer than I thought but I did have Round II on deck. Same format as the first but different exercises:

• Shoulder Taps (count each movement)
• Step up Right
• Dips (again, I know!)
• Step up Left
• LBCs
• Run

Originally I had derkins queued up but felt the first circuit did enough upper body work. So I offered the PAX a choice and they took shoulder taps. Step ups – now the easy route was to give one leg a break and do both interchangeably. I wont’ argue against that could be more efficient, but the goal was to stress your quad muscle with higher focused rep count. So there is a lesson for the day from the teacher (Q). Running short on time, had to cut this circuit to 3 reps. If I break this out again, maybe go to 15 or 20 so we can get both rounds in. Oh, well – mosey back to base.

Announcements: 2 weeks from today on Labor Day, combined workout with The Sandlot and Mt. Hollywood, post at 0700 at Pharr Yarns across from Spruce Goose in McAdenville; Nutria is Q 8/30 next Monday. Forgot to say in the circle – sign up for Iron Pax Challenge – it will be a challenge for sure. Consider it and give your best effort. Prayers: Cougar’s grandmother, Flintstone’s sister, Whoopee 2.0 recovering, family members, kids, teachers and administrators beginning school.

Moleskin: Heard this in a sermon yesterday and pondered on it a bit and wanted to share (additional disclaimer – I’m not a professional, just trying to get better). Though the sermon wasn’t about starting school, I led with that because of some conversation this morning. In Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” The main theme of the sermon was “Are You Ready to Change?” Change is hard. Many of us are closer to being curmudgeonly old men, if we’re not already, than we are to spring chickens. We’re set in our ways and creatures of habit. For most of us, work doesn’t revolve around a particular school calendar (now don’t go overanalyzing that more than what I intended…other than teachers, most of us are in a continuous cycle – hopefully that makes sense). Point being, we don’t have a particular date that we “start something” that is mandated by someone else (and I’m not headed toward a political discussion about mask/unmask with that). Ok, reset again, so my real point I’m driving at, if you want to change your life or change something in your life, Proverbs says “Start today.” There is some unknown element about tomorrow that even with proper planning, it will be different (reflect back to Q-source and Preparedness). You want to make change in your routine, your diet, your mind – Start Today. I know for some today at The Sandlot, this was a start of something new. Regardless of those inner challenges we have, I know for 100% certainty, the 17 men that posted, we all started the week off better than had we not made the choice to attend. Cheers to new beginnings.

At the Coconut Horse, we’re sort of flying by the seat of our pants. The Site Q has not posted in months. And the Q-Source Q has been recuperating from surgery and maybe a stale case of Sandy V. Here is the great thing about Sunday mornings at the Horse – you can get better even if you’re on the IR. How so you wonder? Please share this nugget of wisdom I’ve been seeking. The running, rucking, and/or walking has  a rough start of 0630. I’ve got there early, I’ve got their late. Sargento rarely arrives on time. Anyone is welcome to join us for the First F portion. But here is the nugget of wisdom, the Second F starts around 0730. Posting for the Q-source-ish portion of the morning, getting an overpriced coffee or just bring your own is all fine. As the Bible says, the 7th day is a day of rest and our bodies certainly need rest as evidenced by all the injuries. As First F Q, I highly encourage a rest day, two or three into your schedule. I’m only reminding of the 2nd F portion of the morning.

So, pushing the soap box out of the way…JJ, Udders, Gavel and I ran the loop this morning. It was muggy as an oversized wet blanket thrown on top of you unexpectedly. No escaping the humidity this morning but we all persevered.  Roscoe met us in the parking lot and we did about 30 seconds of merkins on video, sending it to Whoopee to cheer up his daughter. The idea is we’d do a merkin for every minute she sat up which is the next step of her recovery. So we banked about 150 minutes for today, hoping she can hit that mark soon.

Q-source: We finished Cowboy Ethics. I had the last three chapters. You’ve seen some highlights from Roscoe and I the past three weeks. Here again are a few brief bullets.

8) Talk less and say more.

• Cowboys are often viewed as “strong and silent.”
• The bigger the mouth, the better it looks shut
• Cowboys were “doers” and not talkers; if they did, straight to the point
• Imagine they offered candor in succinct doses – simple and profound, usually in curse words (kind of like Midoriyama)
• Pat Summerall – for play-by-play guy on tv. He did it with so few words.
  • “Montana … back to throw. He fires downfield … for Jerry Rice … Touchdown, San Francisco!”
• The Masters broadcast is similar – think of how much the crowd roars accentuate the moment. Some broadcasters say their line and step out to let the patrons cheers take over to support the players achievements.

9) Remember that some things aren’t for sale.

• Author uses movie Monte Walsh to illustrate this point. Cowboys don’t earn much money, Walsh, played by Tom Selleck is offered a chance “play a cowboy in a traveling show. He is asked to wear a costume that embellishes what a cowboy (I’m thinking like a clown of sorts). After seeing himself in mirror, realizes the money isn’t worth it and didn’t want to dishonor his true profession.
• There are some things we can’t trade in for money.
  • This is where words like integrity and values come into play.
  • We all have a price in our head.
    • What would you do for a million dollars? (maybe in today’s inflationary times that numbers is higher, but you’ve played the game).
• What are some things you wouldn’t trade for money?

10) Know where to draw the line.

• A few one-liners from the book:
• “Just because something isn’t illegal, doesn’t mean it’s right”
• “There’s right and there’s wrong, and nothing else in between”

Falling from grace doesn’t always happen in one big fall. Often happens in degrees, cutting corners, and small things adding up to big things.

Society has laws and rules to help us. But for day to day life, mostly we’re on our own. If we don’t have some moral code which we have established, either by our parents, education or other valued sources, we can get off track. Cowboy Ethics is a quick read with 10 concepts that can help you draw the line which you live your life. The more people you choose to associate can keep you accountable. F3 certainly can provide that support.

Announcements: JJ5k, F3 Dads (8/17 at Folsom). Prayers: Whoopee’s 2.0, Turtleman, Roscoe’s Father In Law, Linus’ dad. I took us out. Thanks to Udders for joining us once again – kind of extended family.

EZ Rider needed a Q and I needed to get my ass out of the bed. Coming off vacation (2 weeks ago) I extended the sleeping in routine. I really am not a morning person and old habits die hard. Most of the summer I’ve used Friday as an off day to break between the weekday workouts and prepare for the Saturday and sometimes Sunday opportunities. Much easier to set a target with a Q knowing I had to be there rather than talk my way out of it with a quick hit of the snooze button. Eight other men fought the comfort of their individual beds and joined me for the following morning activities.

Warm-up:

Toy Soldiers IC x 9 (Q-fart), Imperial Walker IC x 10, Side to Side Lunge IC x 10, Cotton Pickers IC x 10, MNC’s IC x 10

Pledge:

5 minutes of Mary all at 30-ish seconds by my stopwatch:

• 3-hole punch crunch (what they hell you say Willis?) – flat on back, knees up, hands together like a butter knife; crunch with hands knifing outside left knee, down, up & between knees, down, up & outside right knee; repeat
• Suitcase Right side only – now we’re getting cra-cra. PAX were confused, JK2 started mumble chatter quickly. Both legs straight out – fold right knee to 90 degrees while crunching forward with both arms extending to shin/ankle area; go back down and continue right side only.
• Suitcase Left side only – this is where the burn began flap-jacking.
• Freddie Mercury
• American Hammer
• Crunchy Frog
• X Crunch (flat on back, arms above head extended out, legs extended out (like an “X”); bring arms down to mid-section, legs come together (like an “I”) and extend back out to an X – got it? good.)
• Downward Dog Parker Peter – oh now this is just getting f-ed up by the minute. Lots of bitching. Get in yoga pose of Downward Dog or an upside down “V”. Motion into a high plank then PP drawing right knee under chest to left elbow; go back to DD, then plank and left knee under chest to right elbow.

Enough of that – PAX were getting burned out on ab work. Short mosey to the entrance of the Rotary Pavilion where all the brick statues are. This is the top of the circuit. We would mosey down the right side of South Street stopping at the beginning and end of each block for exercises, going over Franklin (watch for cars Seuss) and down to Second Street. Cross over and make our way up the hill, now north on South Street for exercises at the beginning and end of each block. Upon arriving at start – add 5 burpees to your previous total and start again. Only the burpees at the top added 5 reps, all else stayed the same.

• Park entrance: 5 Burpees (+5 each round)
• Bench area: 10 Dips + 10 Derkins
• Old Courthouse: 15 Monkey Humpers + 15 Sumo Squats
  • (here was some discussion about proper form of Sumo Squats we agreed legs wide and fingers touch the ground, but is there a jump or not? If curious click the link and they can be performed both ways)
• Cross Franklin to McQuitters wall: 10 Box Jumps + 10 Turtle Crunch (legs bent 90 degrees with calves resting on top of the wall – crunch forward with hands touching top of wall)
• Down the block by the apartments for 20 regular squats + 20 Mtn Climbers
• Cross the street: 15 Hand Release Merkins + 15 Plank Jacks, mosey up the hill
• 30 SSH
• Cross Franklin to Webb Street Steakhouse – 10 Diamond Merkins + 20 Burps
• Up the street to Main/South – 20 Flutter Kicks + 20 LBCs
• Repeat

That was the workout. First round we went through as a group. Once demonstrations and general understanding was learned, the workout became an OYO with Seuss and SA leading the way, Slaw giving chase. Not sure why the other group allowed Blart to stay with them – the boy was farting up a storm. Best to stay ahead of him, away or upwind.

We only made it three rounds this time. I say “this time” because I first tried this workout about 3 or so years ago but the exercises and reps were different and I don’t recall adding 5 burpees to the top. It’s an easy Q but very effective mix of running and exercising. I may adjust the reps to see if we could get 4 or 5 rounds the next time. Show to know.