Author: Rudolph (Page 4 of 5)

It’s been a rough month personally, with health just sucking.  I wanted Painlab two weeks ago to screw with Whoopee, who I knew I’d  have to step the game up to compete with on Q level, but Montross had it.  I got gassed during that workout, Montross brought it.  I got gassed bad.  Worst ever.  So another 2 weeks of recoup and now let’s start the road back to my standard.  Still too skinny….

I also enjoyed screwing with Shortsale on Slack as he and Whoopee are a lot alike in terms of diligence of Q’ing.  Fun fact: if you piss Shortsale off he responds quickly with a “to hell with it, I’ll kill you” style.  I love it.  I called for Boxing workout earlier in the week as Boxing is the best mix of cardio and muscle building.  While travelling this week I remember reading about the Mike Tyson workout….check this out:  5 mile run, 2000 crunches, 500 push-ups, 500 dips, 500 shrugs, 500 neck bridges…..BEFORE HE STARTED HIS WORKOUTS OF THE DAY.  Let’s rock:

Boxing quick lesson: jab, straight, hook and uppercut.  Flapping your arm is not a punch.  Conviction, and off-hand defense.  Boxing is the sport of kings, I mean, scramble a man’s brains and now you’re talking.

Warm-up:  SSH, Squats, MNC, IW, Merkins, LBC.

Follow the leader: using the steps, follow me:  level 1 is bear crawl, level 2 is lunge, level 3 is crab walk, level 4 is karyoka one way, level 5 is karyoka another way.  Plank for 6.  Warm-up is over.

Tyson Challenge:  easy stuff.  I set a timer for 15 minutes.  15 minutes of PLAY-TIME (shout out to Macho Man Randy Savage).  First level is 20 Squats.  To move to level 2 you owe me 5 burpees.  Level 2 is 20 Merkins.  To move to level 3 you owe me 4 burpees.  Level 3 is 20 Dips.  To move to Level 4 you owe me 3 burpees.  Level 4 is 20 LBC’s.  To move to level 5 you owe me 2 burpees.  Level 5 is neck bridges.  To move to level 5 you owe me 1 burpee.

Repeat.  I put a piece of chalk out and you mark a tally when you complete that circuit.  No rest, just grind.  We had 7 guys, and 21 tally marks, so we caught a lot of guys half-way through the last set.  Hats off to Defib who led the pack after running 8 miles EC.  Tough.

Tyson Circuit:  I played around a bit here, but 1 minute per station, and we had:

Decline Diamond Merkin (yes, this is a thing.  I love it).

Kettlebell Swings (thanks HIPAA)

Wall Squats

Heavy Bag work (I taped a mattress to a pole and let folks tee off.  I miss my heavy bag).

Homer-Marge

Merkins

Rope unders (stretched a rope between some chairs, move under each side while throwing an uppercut each side….remember Rocky 4?)

Muscle Work:  Curls to overhead presses and/or tri-cep extension.  3 sets, roughly 10-15 reps of each per set.  Wax-On (FNG) has got some game, watch-out.

Shadow-Box:  same old routine, I call it and you do it.  2- 3 rounds.  Calling this out while doing it is just dreadful, and it’s just what the doctor ordered to get my arse back in good shape.

Mary:  VooDoo carried the torch, along with Watts-Up, and others.  The rest of the Bootcampers join, freaking HIPAA pulls out an exercise I’d like to make love to, TIME.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:  P200 driver needed, I think Broke took it later today.  Monk is leaving us this Summer!  What a bummer.  Not sure I can think of a more foundational lodestone to F3 Gastonia than Monk.  This is like one of our lungs leaving.  Very sad to learn, but so happy for him.   Convergence in 2 weeks at Folsom, Painlab will be there.  Also, Linus and I have been speaking….Gashouse Bootcamp needs number.  It is the premier recruiting event for F3 Gastonia.  First F3 ever we had 35 guys.  It’s a hard thing to figure out, because FNG’s will want to hide sometimes amongst the crew, and also be inspired by the number.  GET THE ATTENDANCE UP.

FNG- Welcome Wax-On.  Great work sir.  VooDoo – get him on the Twitter.

Prayers and Cares:  Honey-do (sp?) was on my mind a lot as he suffered a lot of losses, but still got out there and grinded out Painlab.  Hats off to you sir.  Takes a real HIM to get out here and do this, I hope you found some clarity and fun mixing it up.  Damn tough.  We had other health concerns, I apologize for not recording in more detail.   Just say a prayer to God for the prayers that took place at 8:10 at the Schiele Museum in Gastonia today, and I think God knows what we all are aksing 😉

MOLESKIN – ah, not much here, I love watching Shortsale get mad because he gets physical.  What a great dude, and if you haven’t read his half-marathon backblast do so.  I hope he’s in consideration for Nantan someday.  Roscoe, Stroganoff, Quiche, Defib and VooDoo did EC.  That is so tough, some of them did 8 freaking miles.  Just tremendous, and all of them are as strong of leaders as they are committed to physical excellence.

Painlab is just the best though.  Music, great guys, pumping iron, reminds me of old football locker-rooms and boxing gyms.  Watching HIPAA take lead and be as commensurate with his physical improvement is just the tops. Always an honor to Q, be real y’all.

Rudolph

Hi everyone, do you want to have steel cable arms?  Would you like to be able to squat a house?  Would you like to have a musculature like that of an iron wall?  Have you ever seen a runner and thought, you’d better run, because if I catch you I’ll crush your spine with my bare hands?  No?  Just me?  Uuuuhhhh…..

So the Kettlebell is a great tool, ain’t no doubt.  I hadn’t Q’d the mighty Bulldog yet, much to my shame.  I travel a lot, and while it’s easy to say “find a workout”, it isn’t that easy.  And it’s hard to get out of the hotel bed and get inspired sometimes.  Enter the Kettlebell.  I’ve been working with these since Painlab was created, and it is a simple tool that can yield great results.  Charlotte F3 uses them as well, here are some facts:

• we lose muscle rapidly as we get older, men.  You can have a baboon-cardio heart, but without some weight training I fear for the long-term.
• learning form is absolutely necessary.  Discipline is involved, but very rewarding….just like F3!
• there are many programs out there, and after researching and performing many, here’s what I reviewed with the guys today, and a program all of you can implement:

SIMPLE & SINISTER – I bought the book and am involved in a the r/Kettlebell thread on Reddit pretty heavily.  I’m going to break this program down for you, but if you want to borrow my book it’s about a 1-2 hour read.  There’s much more to things than what I list, but here’s what we did:

• Disclaimer – no sue me, if it hurts stop, I’ll drive you to the hospital but you can’t get me to pay for the ride
• F3 W/U (we had an FNG, wanted him to get the full experience of F3.  Otherwise we would have gone straight to S&S warm-up)
  • SSH, Low Slow Squat, Moroccan NC, Imp Walker, Merkins, LBC’s (about 10 of each)
• Simple & Sinister W/U (this is what the program says to do:
  • 5 reps x 3 sets of Prying Goblet Squat (grab the horns, squat, flex hips to open at bottom, take your time, show to know)
  • 5 reps x 3 sets of Hip Bridges (raise hips, flex and squeeze, repeat-o, show to know)
  • 5 reps x 3 sets of Halos (around the skull one way, back around the other.  Get your breathing right)
• Squat Test – I noticed some form was off on the squats, and I will ALWAYS remember Gastone posting in a backblast about form:  hunching over and swinging your back up in the air is NOT a squat.  Form is important.  I’ll take 3 good ones over 10 ### ones any day.  So if you want to get proper form, stand 6 inches away from a wall, or less.  Squat.  Your nose nor your knees should touch the wall.  Simple.
• Swings – we taught everyone the form (good work HIPAA), ultimately I wanted 10 reps per arm, x 5 sets.  In SIMPLE, you have 5 minutes to get this done in perfect form with a 24 KG (50 lb. ) kettlebell.  I told the guys to get a weight they think is heavier than they can handle, work on double-handed swings, but to get the form right.  Everyone pushed.  GOOD WORK.
• Turkish Get-Ups – we taught the form, which is serious work.  Turkish Get-Ups eat Burpees for breakfast.  There is no substitute, the hardest exercise on the planet.  To teach, I showed them the shoe-method (show to know), and asked for 1 per arm, for 5 sets.  Take your time.  To complete SIMPLE you must get 10 (total) in 10 minutes with perfect from.  Everyone pushed hard.  GOOD WORK.

SINISTER is completing the above, but with a 96 lb. kettlbell.  My goal is to get to using a 96 lb. bell by 2020.  I’ve missed some F3 time because the program says to do it about every day.  Don’t be shocked if I incorporate this into the gloom.  And since this program can be done in 20-25 minutes, it left a lot of time in F3 land.  So I showed some other Kbell exercises:

• low halo
• figure 8’s
• mid halo
• half-moons (these are nightmare fuel if you get in the teens…)
• snatch
• press

Time for some Mary, VooDoo said “oh boy, I can knock out part of my 5000” or whatever, so I said to hell with it and we did 50 consecutive in cadence, then added another 10 because I hate everyone.  Enjoy your 120 being done VooDoo.  TIME.

Prayers, announcements, etc.  My $.02 was short and sweet, just like me.

MOLESKIN – I’ve given all my brothers a program in the above.  I truly believe that HIPAA has given our region an unique advantage.  You lift weights at least twice a week, you will be better for it.  You NEED it.  Then go run Rooster’s and Blue Ridge Relays.  I miss lifting weights, but I’m not a youngster and my body is wrecked.  Kettlebell work enables me to get strong.  Add it to your life.

It’s an honor to be a part of F3 and lead a workout.

Comrade Rudolph

I always like it when a Q actually has something to say during the course of a workout.  Diet, mental health, perseverance, staying strong, whatever.  It’s just cool when you can learn something or get motivated.  HIPAA needed a Q per his announcement at Bulldog sessions (go to this AO guys, perfect location), and I told him the usual:  if no one steps up, I got Painlab.  But only if no one steps up.  i think Q’ing Painlab or Bulldog may seem strange if you don’t have 500 pounds worth of weights, ropes, racks, etc., but that’s not the case.  Anyone can do 1000 merkins and call it a workout, leadership is what counts.

Anyways, it just so happens that I knew my neighbor would come after several years off, and Oompa Loompa said he had an FNG.  Sounds like a good chance to actually put some words behind the weights.  I decided to make the theme “a new day”, as we all take a new step every day, whether we’re 3+ years in F3, or this is our first day.  Gotta keep grinding, because the grind makes us badass.   Along with that, let’s delve into the 3 F’s that make F3.

Timeframe warmed us up, it was an already perfectly warm morning, the large pack of guys who were there for Painlab followed me over to the picnic tables.  I gave disclaimer about Painlab – MODIFY, ZERO to LOW IMPACT, DO NOT QUIT.  Forgot about the “don’t sue me part”, I need to get better at that before I lose my house.  I told the guys that we just did the warmup, and F3 in the morning is a great warm-up to everyday life.  Not much will get to you after a workout with the boys in the morning.

I. PAINSTATIONS – I had everyone partner up, partner 1 does an equipment type exercise, partner 2 does a non-equipment exercise.  The stations:

-Battle ropes – Squats; Slamball – Merkins; Curls – Burpees; Swings – Lunges; Around the World – LBC; Thrusters – CDD’s.  Or something like that.  When we rotate I asked for 3 claps from the group.  They got it quick, and when I asked why 3 claps, at least one person said “I can’t count higher”.  Facepalm….

We did that x 2 cycles.  I explained we just got stronger, and fulfilled one part of the FITNESS requirement.  With muscle work done, let’s move on to agility:

II.   PAIN-RING – time to work on our skills in the boxing ring.  I love this stuff, and if you do it right, you’ll be gassed fast.  I gave brief intro on how/what punches really are, after that it’s truly up to the guys to make themselves work.  I gave specific instructions for 2 rounds (I was getting pretty gassed barking instructions), so for Round 3 I told them to use all the moves (jap, straight, hook, uppercut, shuffle, bob and weave) to go after it for 3 minutes.  Everyone did good work.  I attempted to box with Pockets, but upon approaching him, I thought I might throw up on him.  Let’s not do that….

I told them that in the Creed movies, Rocky tells him “take it one punch at a time, one minute at a time, one round at a time”.  I like that.  Just like every new day, take each and every moment as it comes and make the most of it.  You can’t eat an elephant in one bite. Agility done, let’s go to stamina:

III.  CIRCLE OF PAIN – this one’s easy.  I set a timer for 5 minutes, hold plank.  At no time may more than half of the pax be on their knees taking a break.  Hold plank.  5 minutes.  Some of us did some merkins, some did Nolan Ryans.  Lots of, well, pitiful mumble chatter.  I think this was a crown pleaser.  Before we started, I told the guys to look around the circle at the other guys, and asked them to say they wouldn’t let each other down.  Instead of saying “you” they all said “I won’t let you down”.  Facepalm again.  But the mission was accomplished.   The point here again was you can take a break, but you may not quit.  There was a word on Fellowship here, everyone in the circle had each others back.  So we covered Fitness and Fellowship, how about….

IV. DORA, THE QUEEN OF PAIN – Faith time.  Hard to make an exercise expressing Faith, but how about the fact that you have faith that your partner will bust their ass for you, helping share a load of work?  Works for me.  Pair back up with partners, easy work that focused on muscle groups we had not hit yet:

300 calf raises on curb

200 overhead claps

100 dips

one works, the other runs around that island (if you can run).  I tried to fake-collide with a few of the guys, actually did collide with Short Sale, my bad yo.  And up yours, Clavin, for not giving me some skin in passing, rather pulling a Fonz on me.  Brutal.  But what do you expect from someone with pink tights?

Here comes Linus and the crew, and Timeframe had told me before they left that he had a new core exercise.  I think it was called the Variable Leg Extension.  This sucks.  It’s like a V-Up only your legs continually work from straight to an L, while doing crunches.  Don’t do it.   When we circled up I noticed that we had our leader, Nantan, a Kotter, an FNG, Site Q’s, those we RESPECT (50+), and those we HATE (young ‘uns).  That was pretty dang dope.  Gashouse is strong.

MOLESKIN – motivation can be hard to come by, so any work at F3 should be a good dose of it.  I’m pretty easily persuaded/activated/motivated by my elements (song, movie, book, people) so it’s easy to get into a groove, for me, at F3.  When you’re surrounded by guys who know that iron sharpens iron, I get pretty jacked up.  I hope that same sensation was conducted, purposefully, today.  See you around the schoolyard, obliged and humbled to be a part of F3 Gastonia.  One last thing…I told the guys whether it was your first day, or your 400th F3 workout, each new day is the same – you’re not getting it back.  12/1/2018 is gone, and you had just ONE shot at it.  Proud that you all started it right.

What a great way to start the 39th year of my life, let’s lead Painlab!  The fact that I had no weinke wasn’t going to faze me, I’ve had  a LOT of research and exercises in my time that are: easy to modify, low to zero impact, and good for building muscle.  But being a Bday jam, I thought having a little fun was in order.

The Thang:

The day technically started with Pedal, RPO  and I cat-calling to Linus about how sexy he is as he was jogging towards Gashouse on Garrison.  Boy is putting in work.  They helped me set up Painstations around Frank, who I hadn’t seen in awhile.  We go over to see Linus forming the circle, he warmed us up, HIPAA and Mayor got their weights, and 13 HIMS did PainLab:

WU:

SSH x 15, Low Slow Squat x 10, MCC x 10, IW x 10, Merkin x 10, LBC x 10

DORA – 100 Merkins, 200 Squats, 300 LBC – this was warming up still, but had to Omaha for time.  I was solo man out, but here comes Dr. Feelgood!!  Now we’re rocking.  I had the partners bear crawl to the steps, crawl up the steps, side lunge across, bear crawl back.  This was good heart starter.  I caught a thorn in my hand that has caused a lot of pain in my finger.  At a cookout that night Gastone and Pedal made fun of me.  Back to the workout.  Omaha to Painstations.

PAINSTATIONS – lots of guys, so had to come up with a few on they fly.  They were:

Diamond Merks – Curls – Slamball – Thrusters – AmHam – Tricep Ex – Squats – Plank – Burpees – Lunges – Swings – something else:  do 8-12 reps, 3 team claps, rotate, I count to 10, repeato.   During this time we reviewed what F3 is, the 5 rules, and discussed renewal.  Since we had an FNG there, we had to cover some basics, but a birthday, hell everyday, is a chance at renewal.  Don’t let a birthday, a new-years resolution or the day of the week dictate how great your chance for renewing your spririt, your body, your mind, whatever you need, to get refreshed and start anew.   We did this until it was about 15 ’till, then broke out….

DR. FEELGOOD DRILLERS – I was tickled Feelgood made it, because I named this exercise after him.  I gave a brief rundown on why I created these, which is well documented, but let me tell you, either I’m way out of shape or these are just awful.  Everyone lines up, mimic my movements, which includes squats, merkins, feet chops, quick twists, monkey rolls, whatever.  Pedal, Feelgood, Mayor and HIPAA helped here until 10 till, then we broke out….

DODGEBALL – yes, bought an old-school playground ball the night before (thanks M), and we played Dodgeball.  I was on team Big Dawg, and we lost 2-1 to team Sandy V.  I played terribly but had fun.  THen the rest of the Pax joined for a mega-game.  It came down to a 3v2 with time almost up, then Hunkajunk caught a ball with his feet.  I called it on that, Team Sandy V prevailed.

We circled up, announcements about Burpees by the Lake, remember Tully is coming next weekend, Snowbird retreat, something else.  Named FNG Teddy Bear (ha!).  I was grateful to be able to pray us out.

MOLESKIN – another workout in the books, another day in the books, another year in the books.  Tomorrow will be even better, relishing the friends and families we have.  Men, you live better than 99.9% of human history.  Don’t sweat the small stuff, because everything is small stuff.  If you need help, dial up Rudolph any time, truly blessed person to enjoy your sharpening  Many hands make light work!

Earlier this week I saw the famous Folsom Twitter operator pecking a fight.  This AO has been jabbing at we Gashouse crew long enough, time for a showdown!  I asked when the next time to Q was going be, they said bring it this Saturday.  Did I have plans?  Who cares, let’s rock.  I started thinking right then about what would be the message.

Got there at 10 ‘till, looking for some spots to set-up shop.  Hybrid PainLab is inbound.  Set weights/bells/blocks in a circle, 10 stations with more as needed, the men arrived, disclaimer stated.  The rad combo of Red, White & Blue along with the black and white flag set-up, forgot to pledge but we got it in the end.

WU:

SSH x 20

Low Slow Squat x 10

Moroccan Night Club x 10

Imperial Walker x 10

Merkin x 10

LBC x 20

Mosey to the tennis courts to continue the warm-up (kinda):

DORA – partner up, do exercise while partner runs the tennis court and back, switcheroo:

Burpees x 50

Merkins x 100

Squats x 150

Now we’re warmed up, first part of the message:  I was jogging when the Twitter war began on Monday, trying to get better, and remembered that the reason I have a good time with F3, my family, whatever in my life that I need to be passionate about it.  I’ve got to give it up to be better, and if I’m not passionate about fitness, fellowship and faith, then I’m failing.  So I told them we need to attack the next segment with great emotion:  time for Pain Stations.

We do the below, with the reps as stated on the paper, when I eyeball everyone is done, we give 3 claps (F3), rotate clockwise, I count to 10 (kinda quick) and then do the next.  We did two circuits of:

Curls w/ 50 lb. bar

Goblet Squat w/ 50 lb. bell

Thursters w/ 35 lb. bell

Lateral Raise w/ 20 lb. bell

Overlord Lunges w/ 25 lb. plate

Diamond Merkins

Pistol Squats

Tricep extensions w/ 20 lb. dumbbell

Plank/take a Break – yes, Huckleberry did well here, as the sign said (“take a Break, encourage others to do a good job”.  He did that.)

Next part of the message is the other meaning of Passion, and that is the suffering and death of Jesus.  Essentially, Jesus gave it up for us, gave it ALL up for us.  It’s the sacrifice, and it’s the greatest gift we can receive.  It made me think of a way we can give it up, and no better way than demonstrating than by giving it up for your team, so we took the Test:

4 groups, 15 minutes on the clock, the rules were stated: Burpee waterfall.  You can start yours early once the group in front has their hands touch the ground, up to you.  Ascending count, it’s up to all of us to see how many Burpees we can crank out.  I was impressed with the pace set here.  Dr. Seuss joined me the day before at Downtown for the 100 Burpee rock-a-thon, but it fazed him little if at all.  Huck busted his tail, and felt the power of the Warrior once that song hit.  Once again “Real American” lit a fuse with some folks, seeing team Bedpan/Gravity light up, and Sparky and Hacksaw were grinding too, always saying “let’s get more”.  My team was Volt and Mozart, and when you see the consistency that is Volt, and a 14 year old Mozart cranking it out, we’ve got a winner.  Final count: 375 team burpees, we’ll round up to 94 consecutive individual.  Did you think you could do that this morning after an already tough workout?  WELL DONE!  Folsom has the belt.

With 5 minutes left I didn’t have time to show them Dr. Feelgood Drillers.  I made this exercise in honor of Dr. Feelgood, but also all of F3, as the best version of passion was given to me, COMPASSION.  This was shown to me nearly 3 years ago.  F3 picked me up at a time when I was low, showed me compassion and care, and I’m a better man for it.  That’s the name of the game, many hands make light work and help your brother.  You do that, everything else falls into place.

5 minutes of Mary instead, some LBC, Sandy V, 6 inch for 60 seconds, and something else but I forget.  Time.

Announcements:  Stop Soldier Suicide run on Sep 22, Burpeethon Oct 6, Snowbird Sep 14-16, Billy Madison is back in town Sep 8-9^th so help him move a few things on the 9^th if you can

Prayers: for our Pax running, students back in school, Sean D whose wife just learned of cancer, Eric R who has suffered several family losses, and Huckleberry as his daughter is going on her first date tonight.  Yikes.   Pledge and breakfast time.

MOLESKIN: Folsom is a great crew, I think they all exemplify the passion we have for a group of guys who are sharpening iron, their iron is just funnier than most.  And their pancakes are bigger.  An honor to lead, a privilege to serve.  See you next time @FOLSOM.  I also found my new favorite car sticker…

Today was the day to implement the test.  A few days earlier I messaged Roscoe and asked if he remembered a workout at Downtown that I never forgot.  It was my first post in awhile, those two years ago, where I was back from the beach and decided to rededicate effort into F3.  Nearly a year before Painlab was to start, Roscoe was the Q and there were about 10 of us.  I remember Easy Rider, Def Leppard, Hushpuppy and Squirt being there.  Can’t remember any more, but there’s a picture somewhere.

Roscoe took us on a workout around town, running up and down the parking deck, but stopped and had us circle up into 4 groups.  He did a waterfall of Burpees, and it never seemed to stop.  He sped it up with Def at some points, I remember that, but before the end we had done roughly 85 Burpees in a row.  I remember that workout because it was something I wouldn’t have said I could do, if you told me to do it beforehand.  That’s a great part of F3, the time you realize you can do more.  Plus I felt nauseous.

SO….with that backstory here we go.  I get to the parking lot with my truck full of weights and , and there is Linus.  This site Q is all over his job, and has been busting his @$$  pushing the rock.  We shoot the bull, and talk weight-lifting.  We’re thinking that maybe we should start an EC thing at Gashouse with some mass-building-centric stuff?  I keep saying it, the older we guys get, the more muscle loss is going to happen, it’s just a fact.  So you all stew on that.  But he helps me make the stations and set the weights at.   The guys start to trickle in, and I tell Mayor that we might not have but a few folks for Painlab and then we’d join JJ for a bootcamp.  Luckily the number hit just right!

JJ warmed us up, Pledge, then the split.  I told JJ in secret about the Test I was going to do, he said they were going to go away…..far away.  Later I saw they went to Ollie’s.  Adios boys.

8 (9 with me) stuck for Painlab.  Disclaimer, and remember these rules for when you Q:

1) Modify as needed.  Ankle hurting?  Let Q know and he can give you something else to do (Merkins, LBC, there is always an alternative).

2) We do zero to low impact.  You CAN do high-impact, like the hop after the Burpee, or do it slower.  Again, we modify.

3) We’ve had a theme of using weights.  This is not required.  If you Q Painlab, holler at HIPAA and get some original ideas.  He’s done great in innovating this AO.

I set up 8 stations to rotate through.  When someone realized that there was 9 of us, we made a new one on the spot.  Improv!

Goblet Squats with 50 lb. kbell

Diamond Merkins (Hushpuppy missed my diamond drawing.  Uncultured).

Halos with 30 lb. kbell

Curls with 50lb. curl bar

Tricep Extension with 20 lb. dumbell

American Hammer with cinderblock

Rows with 50 lb. kbell

Marches with 25 lb. plate or 20 lb bell

*Lunges with 2 10 lb. hand weights (this is what we made up, good job Mayor!)

You do 10-15 repetitions, rotate when I say so, we rest 30-60 seconds before next station, repeat.  My favorite was when Top Hat grabbed the 50 lb. kbell for squats and yelled out “JOHN BROWN!”.  I think he’s feeling muuuuuch better these days.  So we do this times 2 cycles.  This was more work than what we did 2 years ago with Roscoe, and while I knew it would have an effect, we put in 30 minutes of work.  Perfect.

Next was the test, we split into groups, Hushpuppy remembered what I told the gang about the Roscoe workout and girded himself.  Only difference was that each group would count and we would ascend, not do a 1-2-3-1, count, but just count up.  I thought this would give some mental edge.  Plus, I made a playlist specific for this event.  So me and Hunkajunk paired up, Mayor and Defib, Pedal along with Hushuppy, TopHat with Sledge-o-matic and Hunchback.  I can’t remember what number we were on, but here comes Madoff and Hercules.  They join up, welcome to the pain train!

At this point I set the time for 15 minutes.  I saw the sweat, I saw the push, and tried to keep the chatter up.  The third song on the playlist helped to inspire me and Mayor, when “Real American” came on.  How can you not flashback to your youth when Hulkomania was running wild?  Say your prayers, eat your vitamins and be a good American.  Hot damn I’m pumped up now!  At one point I saw the group sagging just a hair, I told them to put their arms in the air and I checked the clock.  11:30 had passed.  I asked if they had it in them to go for 4 more minutes.  The answer was a resounding yes, so back to work we went.

Final count – 276 group burpees.  That’s 69 individual in a row.  The bench mark has been set for PainLab.  Next time is 277 or bust.  GREAT WORK MEN.  And hats off to Pedal, who did the torture chamber with Gastone the day before, which looked like the stuff of nightmares.

I had everyone sit on their 6 and did some basic stretches to cooldown.  Weightlifting + 69 consecutive burpees is pretty rough on the body.  After 5 minutes of stretch I lead us in some yoga poses to actively stretch.  I enjoyed watching people shake and tremble while planking.  Monk came running up during tree pose and looked like he’d seen a car accident.  GET TO WORK MONK.  JJ joined me in the circle, we did some Mary work, churchbells = time.

MOLESKIN – been waiting for a time to do the test.  Hats off to Roscoe for pushing me 2 years ago, hats off to Painlab participants for not quitting.  You can pause, you can go slow, you can let doubt creep in, but the test has one bigger purpose – push your brother, iron sharpens iron.

Until the next time, adios.  And if interested in an EC kbell-weight session before bootcamp on Saturdays, holler. Gastone was thinking of one through the week too.  Opportunities abound.  Proud of all this new blood taking over site Q’s!

Rudolph

Time to experiment!  At the Community Run a week ago I had a baaaaad time running.  But this just strengthens me to do more core, and hydrate.  Then I read about how some high-impact plyometrics might actually help versus hurt someone like me.  So I read up a bunch, and it just happened that Gastone put the call out for Q’s.  I asked him to make it a “Mystery Q” so that folks who thought they were walking into Pain Lab wouldn’t be averse.  Introducing the Plyo Lab:

Disclaimer was given (as it literally says this in the articles I read):  Plyometrics are not for people on the rebound of injury, or those new to exercise.  If we would have had an FNG I would have told them to take it easier than they’d like.  But we did have Clavin who is grinding out a meniscus injury, and HIPAA met him with the intent of doing kettlebell work.  Pain Lab & Plyo Lab, supa-hot!!

Warm-Up:

25 SSH

10 IW

10 Low Slow Squat

10 Merkins

10 LBC

Pledge of Allegia……..oh wait, RECOVER.  DID YOU HEAR THAT WHOOPEE?!?!?

Pledge of Allegiance.

The Thang:

Run to Harris Teeter (or whatever it is now) parking lot.  Told them we would essentially do stations to a pre-set time.  I had 19 exercises to get done, with a few breaks inbetween.  Goal was 30-45 seconds per station (my call), then jog, karyoka or backwards run for about quarter to a half of the lot, then do the next.  Over and over again, no stoppage.   Here’s the exercises done:

• Plyo Pushup
• Squat Thrusters
• Plyo Lateral Lunges
• Reverse Lunge with Knee up(right leg touch, up in the jump)
• Box Drill
• Frog Squat Jump
• Long Jump
• Burpees with a Tuck Jump

WAVE OF MERKINS – took a break and everyone circled up.  At first, everyone circled too close!  Ya gotta give me room to swing a cat here.  But a Wave of Merkins was accomplished.  Short Sale did not like the ease, so he held out just about every time it was on him.  Good work! Now back to the horror show:

• Lateral Triple Jump (make an L – Right jump off right foot, forward hop to left, hop to and together)
• Alternating Lunge Jump
• Tuck Jumps
• Judo Roll with Jump
• Kneeling Jump Squat**** Omaha’d to Rocky Balboa’s.  These felt so good after all this plyo work.
• Full-Body Plyometric Push-Up (got some total air after someone asked what to do.  Kinda fun).
• Single-Leg Deadlift into Jump
• Horizontal Jump to Tuck Jump
• Pistol Squat Roll with Jump (lower the body on one leg until no more, roll back up)
• Plyometric push up to squat

WAVE OF MERKINS – this time Whoopee got in on the hold-out portion.  And Short Sale.  No problem by me, I’ll just cut it short!

SPRINTS – Line up by partner.  Lamp post to Lamp post.  I said next pair after me and Breaker Breaker wait until we’re halfway through.  Then I said, screw that, wait until we are ALL the way down.  Surprise, surprise, here come Whoopee and Squirt just about the time BB and I finish.  Sorry jokers got me again.  We did this times 2

LBC x 50 OYO (catching my breath 😉  )

GASTONE GIVE-UP: told Gastone to lead us home, and do an exercise of his choice.  It’s his AO, so I like to do this when possible.  He took us to the loading dock, and 5 rounds of hop-up/lunge walk circles.

MARY:  with American Hammers, Flutters, LBC, and MORE FLUTTERS.  Time.

Name-o-Rama, prayers for F3 brothers, JK2 family, Breaker Breaker family and community.

MOLESKIN:  A week or so ago I saw my friend Gastone state in a BB that more folks needed to take the helm on the Black Knight workout.  When he asks, we gotta step-up.  I hope to repeat this one sometime soon, and I appreciate the mumble chatter that I heard, no matter how much grief I might have given the boys during that time.  Heck, Pain Lab has required metal, and any talk from you guys is good talk.  Until next time, AYE!

Rudolph

I was jogging (yes, painful) through the neighborhood Wednesday when Billy Madison called.  He’s asking for a jump rope.  Why?  He has another crazy movie-themed workout in mind.  This time he wants a piece of the Rocky saga.  I told him we do boxing exercises all the time at Painlab.  I run over to his side of the neighborhood, we get stupid, here’s the result:

10 HIMS showed up to a GasHouse workout.  They thought were kidding, then I broke out the hand-wraps and the Rocky soundtrack blasting.  3-4 would have been Painlab exclusive, I hope the following satisfied:

WARMUP – Billy Mads style

Side Straddle Hops

Cherry Pickers (really cotton, or possibly maize….low reach)

Morroccoan Night Clubs

CIRCUIT 1 – F3 Boxing exercises with Billy Mads

Money Mayweathers x 10

Rocky Balboas x 50 each leg

CIRCUIT 2 – Boxing Core Work with Rudolph

Bicycle LBCs x 25

Side Plank Raises x 15 (I saw this didn’t feel good to some.  Will repeat soon).

T-Merkins x 10 each side

Situp Punch Combos x 20

Ball Pass Runners x 20

American Hammers x 20

we did something else, but my Weinke on this disappeared.  It was good core work, a little different to do so early.  The Community Run reminded me I constantly need to do this, and drink water, to loosen my back.  Highly recommended.

PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

CIRCUIT 3 – Roadwork

Billy Mads led an indian run to Grier while a few of us did lunges, kickers and other routines with arms extended for a period to when we all met at Grier.  First time we’ve done this, I think it worked okay.  At the PL we usually do a Jacobs Ladder or something else.  We had a truly injured soldier with us, so again this worked for the zero/low impact commitment.

CIRCUIT 4 – B&R’s Boxing Gym

Fun time!  Time for some boxing stuff.  10 guys, so 2 to a station.  I got to work with Top Hat.  Despite the Duke fandom, he’s top notch.  I gave a short lesson on boxing (arms always up, we don’t do Tae-Bo, we actually put power into punches, and make sure your hips are into it).  3 minute rounds, just like boxing, here’s what you do:

Station 1 – Heavy Bag/Merkins – one partner does 25 merkins while the other pounds on the heavy bag.  Warning was given – if you don’t hit something right, you WILL break your wrist.  No one did.

Station 2 – Jump Rope – giddy-up, 3 minutes of hopping.  If you do jump rope you will have a baboon heart for cardio.  I love it.

Station 3 – Shadowboxing – it was pure genius (luck) that the punch combos written on the board came out to exactly 3 minutes.  Shadowboxing can be intense, it’s all up to you.

Station 4 – Rocky’s Log – remember that scene where Rocky has a log and is lunging up a snowy hill?  Yeah, Billy Madison did.  So we grabbed a few of my weight bars, loaded them up, 3 minutes of lunges.  Just make sure you take  a break after you go the distance.

Station 5 – Chase the Chicken – to me, my favorite, and the hardest.  It was a NUR.  Billy gave us a dog toy chicken, one partner does 3 Burpees, the other backwards runs, chase him down, repeat.  CHASE THAT CHICKEN!!

CIRCUIT 5 – Roadwork

Back we went.  Billy and Clavin had to jet, but we had 8 minutes left.  Let’s do some…..

CIRCUIT 6 – Arms & Abs

Rudolph calling, holding Plank, low plank, Mountain Climbers, Jack Webers, all intermittent.  I hope this gave a good shoulder/pec routine.  I felt it, so there you go.

CIRCUIT 7 – Round Robin Mary

Everyone contributed an exercise, and we finished with each member doing one around the circle, and then the bells.

CIRCUIT 8 – The important stuff

we ended in a Circle of Trust, and said prayers for fellow F3 brothers, the families of JK2, Hunchback and for all of you.  It was a blessed day for sure.

MOLESKIN – Billy Madison does some of the most fun stuff.  I was discussing with Gastone at a school event the night before, he was just about to break his vow of “through the week only” to come.  That’s when you know you’re doing something right.  For me?  I loved boxing.  I hate that Mayor couldn’t come, as he takes joy in it too.  There’s something about the type of cardio you get, and you can really push yourself.  For someone who has a hiccup running, it goes a long way.  I appreciate everyone playing along, even JK2 joining the Sargento club of talking Painlab smack.  The Saturday Gashouse crew is special, it all started here, so when you feel crazy and want to have some fun, dial 1-800-BILLY-MADISON and come to Gashouse.

The parking lot was pretty full, and as it got larger you could tell that winter is nearing an end.  How many would make it out for Painlab?  Earlier in the week HIPPA thought I put a gif of a break-dancer with a kettlebell on twitter.  Soon he would meet the Turkish Get-Up.

Large group that Sargento Q’d, he made his usual crack about how Painlab is lesser workout (which he does EVERY time, I’ll break him soon), someone else said something about “only” Painlab, which Mayor replied with something I can’t type here.  Decorum prevents it, sincerely Douglas S. Nedermeir, Sgt. at Arms.

It should be noted that while in the warm-up circle, I met the soon to be Moses (FNG) who showed up by himself.  Dope!  He and I chatted and tried to explain this madness.  But how impressive is that?

We warm-up, we pledge, then Duke, Bandit, HIPPA, Mayor and I grab the gear.  We went to a different spot as I thought asphalt might be easier for the TGU’s.  We made a circle, I put on the tunes and meet the Deck of Pain, which is the Deck of Death but a big twist:

Every number is an exercise, and that tells you the repetitions.  Every suit is a specific exercise, and you drop-set from the exercise to the suit exercise:

2 – Turkish Get-Up

3 – Side Row Lunge (each leg)

4 – Tactical Lunge (each leg)

5 – Bottoms Up Curl (each arm)

6 – Clean & Press (both or single arm)

7 – Snatch (each arm)

8 – Figure 8’s

9 – Skull Crushers

10 – Around the World

Jacks 11 – Clean’s

Queens 12 – High Pulls

Kings 13 – One Arm Swings

Ace – Winner’s choice

The Suits:

Hearts – Merkins

Clubs – Squats

Spades – LBC

Diamonds – Burpees

So if you pull the 7 of Diamonds, we do 7 Snatch’s each arm, then go straight to 7 Burpees.  Next person draw a card.  This was not easy.  I had to employ 4-5 10 counts, especially when the King of Diamonds fell, then about 10 minutes later the Queen.  We pulled a major Omaha on the Turkish Get-Ups.  Along with Swings, this is the best exercise from kettlebells, but it’s also very form specific, and if you’re not used to it, watch out.  I knew that Mayor and HIPPA having on their vests that it would be a challenge.  So from then on when a “2” would drop, I’d Omaha and make it a 20 count of a the suit exercise.  Luckily the 2 of Diamonds didn’t fall!

We got through 5/6 of the deck before the group got back.  Great work by this crew.  Mayor pushed hard, brought the chatter.  You could tell HIPPA was concentrating and accepted every Kbell challenge.  Bandit was a workhorse, never a complaint, corrected form on me and the guys, and came up with a good interrupting exercise.  Duke was slugging it out, modifying and moving, never stopping for more than a few seconds.  Duke came out 4 weeks ago after I put the HC on him on a Friday night.  He has been to every Painlab since.  AYE!  We need more Dukes.

I’m glad the other Q’s encouraged Painlab to stay open.  You do get a workout, I’m glad to modify, and the fact that the last 3 weeks had 3 new Q’s for the lab is incredible.  Tell your buddies who want to modify exercises (I keep a list of alternates), their bodies don’t do well with running or other high-impact, or just want to work with weights to get stronger versus the cardio-centric bootcamp, then bring them along.  Our little circle gets bigger and smaller, over and over, but it’s there for the G-town Pax.  No one should have an excuse to not get-up on a Saturday, breath in the fellowship and fun that a workout can bring.

Thank you for the opportunity to serve F3.

Rudolph

Another Saturday, another Painlab.  But this time different.  We circled up and there were so many guys I hadn’t posted with before, pretty dang cool.  Then as we circled up we had a guy I put the EH on last night in Mr. Wayne Finley, and it was on.  We warmed up with JJ and his magic number 8, they took off and Bandit, Woody, FNG, Flush and I went to the circle.

The lesson of the day was “slow and steady wins the race”.  The idea that we are going to grind through our first functional workout was fun to me, and you gotta put in the work, each gruesome step, to be a winner.  Knowing Flush was there, and likely had a good Yoga routine, I decided on one cycle of total body exercises, would do the trick.  But another trick in that we would only get a 10 count between sets.  So one set, 10-15 reps depending on the exercise, and everyone had a kettlebell, which was awesome.

It should be noted Billy Madison walked in right at the first exercise.  With a big ol’ dirty rock.  Here’s what we did:

Lunge – trunk rotation

Squat to overhead press

Renegade Rows

T-Merkins

Kettlebell chops

Bridge rotations

Kettlebell Swings

High kick bridges

Burpees (slow)

Presses

Curls

Yoga Squats

and a few others.  I’m doing this from memory, cut me some slack.

Then with 20 minutes left I threw it to Flush.  This was a mistake.  He gathered us up, taught us some basics on alignment and breathing.  Then the pain started.  A great routine consisting a proper flow through moves:  Mountain, monkey, chimichanga, up-dawgs, downward facing dogs, plank, more dog stuff. warrior poses, tree, airplane, half-moons (NEVER AGAIN…I MEAN YES), and just a very tough routine.  But rewarding.

The rest of the PAX got there, JJ hit some dance music from the night before at the W.A. Bess dance (props to our FNG – The Duke, Timeframe, Gastone and JJ for toughing it out with me) and we traded some abs.  After a damn eon long name-o-rama we got our FNG named.  He had a dose of pain and liked it.

Thanks for the chance to lead, using Functional Excercises, coupled with the real Yoga made for a great routine, and something that anyone is injured, or wants a change of pace, can integrate.

-Rudolph