Author: Hunchback (Page 5 of 5)

Just over three weeks ago, the digital realm known as the Twitterverse was buzzing with fervor over the intriguing trifecta of Artificial Intelligence, ChatGPT, and their potential impact on the intricate art of F3 workout creations. Amidst this virtual symphony of ideas, a modest tweet was unleashed, and without hesitation YHC embraced the gauntlet thrown before me.

Following a dreary washout on the 22nd of April and the epic gathering known as Convergence last week, the time had come for the unveiling of PainLab 5.6 – aptly titled “The Rise of the Machines.” Now, dear reader, I present to you an unadulterated account of the exchange that transpired between my inquisitive self and the ingenious ChatGPT, a feat achieved in a mere 11 seconds. While I shall leave the bickering keyboard warriors to debate its veracity, rest assured that these seven HIM bore witness to the fruits of our labor. Scant alterations were made to the workout itself, save for one substitution: Kayne’s dirty word anthem “Power” was replaced with the haunting melodies of Guns N’ Roses’ “November Rain,” coinciding with the departure of the Girl Scouts from their nocturnal escapades at the museum (my apologies to the concerned mothers).*

My request: will you create a 50 minute workout and music playlist for kettle bell and body weight exercises?

The Machine:

Sure, I can create a 50-minute workout and music playlist for kettlebell and bodyweight exercises. However, please keep in mind that it’s always a good idea to consult with a qualified fitness professional before starting any new exercise routine.

Here’s a sample 50-minute workout and music playlist:

Warm-up (5 minutes):

• Jog in place or jumping jacks (1 minute)
• Bodyweight squats (1 minute)
• Lunges (1 minute)
• Mountain climbers (1 minute)
• High knees (1 minute)

Workout (40 minutes): Perform each exercise for 45 seconds, followed by a 15-second rest. Rest for 1 minute after each circuit. Repeat the circuit 3 times.

Circuit 1:

• Kettlebell swings
• Push-ups
• Goblet squats
• Plank
• Jumping jacks

Circuit 2:

• Kettlebell clean and press
• Lunges
• Russian twists
• Side plank (left side)
• Burpees

Circuit 3:

• Kettlebell snatches
• Tricep dips
• Single-leg deadlifts
• Side plank (right side)
• High knees

Cooldown (5 minutes):

• Stretching exercises such as hamstring stretches, quad stretches, and shoulder stretches (5 minutes)

Music playlist: Here are some high-energy songs to keep you motivated throughout the workout:

1. “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
2. “Jumpman” by Drake & Future
3. “Lose Control” by Missy Elliott feat. Ciara & Fatman Scoop
4. “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars
5. “Lose Yourself” by Eminem
6. “Turn Down for What” by DJ Snake & Lil Jon
7. “Stronger” by Kanye West
8. “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor
9. “Power” by Kanye West
10. “Till I Collapse” by Eminem feat. Nate Dogg

Remember to adjust the playlist to your personal preference and choose songs that help you stay focused and motivated during your workout.

*yes, ChatGPT also rewrote the first two paragraphs when I asked it to “make this sound more clever”

An artificial intelligence challenge to F3 was issued on Twitter a few days ago and YHC accepted.  6 HIM looked at the forecast that showed 50% chance of rain later this morning and got out of bed for PainLab.  After Linus as the Gashouse Q led warmups, we moseyed to the Schiele circle only to be hit with this alert:

10 minutes later, we safely enjoyed 12 ounce coffee curls and supported the local economy, while scheduling May’s leadership. Give us credit. Don’t give us credit. It’s all good.

The Rise of the Machines will return May 6th.

With the Boot Campers off running the Mortimer and P200, 10 HIMs showed up to the Schiele with no other choice than to try breaking the Guinness Book of World Records in some of our favorite exercises.  Though we failed to break any world records, six PainLab records were set in stone and will live in infamy – or until a challenger shows up to a future PainLab and breaks it.

The most side straddle hops in one minute

World Record: 132  by Fares Mohamed Shaban in Al Mahalla Al Kubra, Egypt, on 15 March 2021.

PainLab Record: 92  by Mayor in Gastonia, NC on 25 March 2023.

The most squats in three minutes

World Record:  219 by Tourab Nesanah  in New York, NY, on 17 October 2022.

PainLab Record: 155 by Tube in Gastonia, NC on 25 March 2023.

The most consecutive diamond merkins

World Record:  101  by Mohamed Hesham Abdul Hamid Ali in Fayoum, Egypt on 27 July 2022.

PainLab Record: 32 by Pilgrim’s Progress in Gastonia, NC on 25 March 2023.

The most lunges in one minute

World Record:  82 by Ali Mounir in Menofia, Egypt, on 14 March 2022.

PainLab Record: 50 by Pilgrim’s Progress in Gastonia, NC on 25 March 2023.

The most flying squirrel burpees in one minute

World Record: 33 by Leong Man Teng  in Macau, China, on 1 August 2022.

PainLab Record: 24 by Tube & Mayor (tie) in Gastonia, NC on 25 March 2023.

The most tricep dips performed in one minute

World Record:  119 by Stephen Buttler, in Shropshire, UK, in celebration of Guinness World Records Day on 17 November 2011.

PainLab Record: 61 by Pilgrim’s Progress in Gastonia, NC on 25 March 2023. (though Nutria had the best form with 60 dips).

With 20 minutes to spare and rain pouring down, the group split in two for a few rounds of team dodgeball & then royal rumble dodgeball.  Wrapped up with Mary.

Announcements: April 1, 6:30am QvsQ Championships at Folsom, 7:00am PainLab workout in right field at CaroMont Health Park, 9:00am Community Foundation Run/Speed for Need.  No GasHouse/PainLab at the Schiele. April 8, 6:30am OCR (Obstacle Course Race) at Folsom. Young Life Golf Tournament May 15

Prayer Requests: Guys running Mortimer & P200, Clavin’s M, Mayor’s upcoming surgeries, Rachet’s family, Westside’s friend, Tooth Fairy’s 2.0.

DJ Push Play returned with a mash up of work out songs to kick Pain Lab into high gear. After 10 descending rounds of kettlebell swings and merkins, we jumped into the following exercises beat downs:

• Thunderstruck – AC/DC: Squats throughout and Bobby Hurleys every time “Thunder” was sung
•  Flower – Moby: Planks until the lyrics say to bring Sally up or down, to which many merkins were completed
• I Get Around – The Beach Boys: Around the worlds with the coupon during the chorus, figure eights with the coupon during the verses

mosey to the backwoods of the Schiele

• Jolene – Dolly Parton: Coupon curls throughout & shoulder presses when that dang Jolene is mentioned.
• Hey Mickey – Toni Basil: Tricep dips from the bench each time “Mickey” is chanted. Mumblechatter regarding the year this song came out ensued (answer at the end of the backblast)
• Jump Around – House of Pain: Lunges throughout and step ups on the bench when “Jump” is rapped.
• Roxann – The Police: Everyone’s favorite. Burpees for every sweet Roxann. Mumblechatter ensued about Tube’s ex-girlfriend and him in the red light district of Amsterdam.

mosey back to the Schiele entrance circle

• The Sweetest Thing – U2: LBC’s throughout, big boy sit-ups with “The Sweetest Thing” phrase
• Tubthumping by Chumbawumba: Various ab exercises called out by the group to each verse

*Hey Mickey by Toni Basil was released in 1981

The temperature dropped overnight, but PainLab heated up right away. After a joint warmup by Short Sale, Boot Camp went their separate ways and PainLab moseyed over to the circle.  Today’s workout consisted of eight songs, each five minutes long, which focused on one muscle group.  One minute interlude breaks were given between songs. Lots of mumblechatter ensued

DJ Push Play’s playlist, muscle group, and exercises:

• Clocks by Coldplay – Squats: goblet squats, one-handed coupon squats, no coupon squats
• Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana – Chest: merkins, planks, coupon chest press, Nolan Ryan’s
• No Diggity by Blackstreet – Back: pullovers, standing row, one handed row
• Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi – Triceps: dips, tricep extensions, coupon circles
• California Love by 2Pac – Biceps: coupon curls (2-handed and 1-handed), shoulder toss
• Susie Q by Creedence Clearwater Revival – Lunges: step ups, walking lunges, coupon lunges
• My Sharon by The Knack – Shoulders: two handed push up press, one handed push up press, halos
• Calm Like a Bomb by Rage Against the Machine  (removed for the virgin ears of science fair volunteers waiting nearby)
• Somebody to Love by Queen – Core: LBCs, crunchy frog, American hammers, big boy sit ups

Moseyed back to the shovel flag for the pledge, announcements, prayer requests, and COT.

After 1,731 days  joining this fine group of men, YHC led his first Q, thanks to the friendly persuasion of Tube.  Warmed up with the rest of the Gashouse and then grabbed some bells for a PainLab workout.

With the help of some 90’s R&B, we started with 20 kettlebell swings and 10 merkins,  followed by 20 swings and 9 merkins, (then 20/8, 20/7, etc) until we had completed 200 swings and 100 merkins. Moseyed around the parking lot and returned to the circle of kettle bell card exercises, which included rotating for a minute of exercise for the following:

• single leg deadlifts
• American hammers
• standing rows
• goblet thrusters
• one arm swings
• lbcs
• snatches
• two hand push presses

Rotated each exercise a second time, moseyed, cooled down with  some more kettlebell reps.