A little more than a year ago, I accepted my first Q at the GasHouse, ready to present a unique beat-down where golf was the theme. The groundskeeper intended for the PAX to have a challenge, blowing up on holes with high scores resulting in high reps of the exercises. What occurred in 2016 was akin to the Bob Hope Classic with the PAX blistering the course with under par scores, much to the chagrin of YHC.
Earlier in the week Stroganoff reminds the PAX the GasHouse is open for 7/2. Amid a popular vacation time and competing with the Nomads and Tool Time’s new man-crush Tolken showing off the Speed for Need chairs at the Yank, I accepted the opportunity to boast the re-designed GasHouse National. Consulting and studying with famed architects, the new layout would be tougher with restricted flight “balls”, added length, tougher pins to reach, higher reps of exercises, and a new second shot that brought in the strategic element to consider laying up instead of going for the green.
Upon completing the course set-up, I arrived in the parking lot of the GasHouse with 8 minutes to spare. Hushpuppy concluded his 3rd F with JJ, Stroganoff, and JK2. Heyzeus, DaVinci drove into the lot and we had a young whipper-snapper, DaVinci “EH-ing” his 13 year old son Jack as our FNG. This combination gave us a perfect number for two four-somes that would tackle the course but first, a brief disclaimer, probably more for the senior aged PAX than our new young member, full of energy. First exercise was announced: “Side-Straddle-Hops in cadence x 10.” Once that concluded, “Let’s mosey” was called. Whoopie would have loved it, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe fart-sacking on vacation, starting a new twitter war, or listening to George Strait. Hey but for the PAX under my command, we moseyed to the flag to honor Old Glory and all the freedom it represents, then the scenic route to the back of the Library for an extended warm-up.
Circle up and begin SSH, each PAX would drop for 5 merkins in order. Once that round concluded, we went to 5 LBC’s. This got the heart rate moving upward and I was happy to hear some exasperation as the SSH’s continued steadily for a few minutes. One last round, this time for each PAX to perform slow squats while each man (boy), dropped for a 10 count Flutter Kick (got to keep Stroganoff happy). Then it was on to the main event with a jog along Churchill Dr and left on Carmen, a slow incline that Gastone would love the chance to employ. While waiting for the 6, JK2 lead some plank-work, AYE!.
The Q had multiple responsibilities, course set-up, rules official, tournament director, and player. Here is the format for those following at home. We had two four-man teams to play a modified captain’s choice. At the tee, one member of the team would throw a bean-bag (cornhole bag) for their drive. Each man would lunge walk to the bag and then throw their second shot toward the flag. A new “shot” was the Burpee Long jump and this did bring the mumble chatter, even among my own team. The challenge for this “shot” was if the team decided to lay-up, it would increase the number of reps once arriving at the hole, the ultimate risk/reward which for those that enjoy the real game of golf, may appreciate – that is if they are able to lift their arms when the day was complete. There were nine holes of various lengths with par set at 36. For the number of shots it took to arrive at the hole, that number was multiplied by the number of reps for the exercise so 4 shots x 10 merkins required the individual PAX to do 40 merkins. The shots were:
- Lunge walk
- Burpee Long jump
- Bear crawl
- Crab walk
- Zombie walk
- Skip
The holes were:
- Par 4 – American Hammers x 10
- Par 4 – Squats x 10
- Par 5 – Merkins x 10
- Par 3 – Derkins x 10
- Par 5 – Flutter kicks x 10
- Par 4 – CDD’s x 10
- Par 4 – Pull-ups x 5
- Par 3 – Dips x 10
- Par 4 – Burpees x 5
Moleskin
The guys pushed hard, complaining a little but earning their scores. As with any Weinke, there is always something to learn from. The 2017 course was as challenging as a US Open at Winged Foot or Oakmont. The allotted time expired before the event could be completed with each team at +2 when the horn sounded. The PAX appeared beaten, but not defeated. Another version of this event is likely to appear in the near future. It brings out camaraderie amid the competition (you verses you). The only thing missing is the beer cart girl, stay tuned for the time and place.
COT
We had some challenge to name our FNG, DaVinci’s oldest (Jack Smith) entering the 8th grade at Cramerton Middle. We tried the typical methods of favorite cartoons and food. Ended up with his favorite subject being history. Something about the PAX or the FNG being indecisive had us pondering a bit until JJ states: “Neville Chamberlain” former Prime Minister of the UK; that’s like a 40 foot swish at the end of the shot clock by JJ’s namesake. We lifted prayers for a friend of JK2 and all the Police, Fire, Medic, Doctors and Nurses on call this weekend to help those that are injured, as well as safe travels.
For those unable to attend, begin to sharpen your respective games. Hopefully you will soon have a chance to test your skills against the infamous GasHouse National.