F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Author: Turtle Man

My M is yelling at me while I type

And I can’t concentrate, which is creating a writer’s block.  Now mind you, she’s watching the AMA’s while talking on the phone with a friend, trying to unwind from a long, hectic day.   And of all things, I’m interrupting her while typing.   Not talking, but TYPING, very quietly.   Think the issue was that I turned the lamp on.   I would ask for the brotherhood to back me.  If you have a chance, text her a random message at 704-718-4464 about the importance of back blasts – let her know that Turtleman sent you.    She doesn’t understand the wrath of the weasel shaker.

Anyhow, the title was going to be a bucketful of jellybeans.   To Roadie’s point, they were sugar-free and pretty hard…. and heavy.   Had a good turnout of 12 men.

The Thang



SSH x 30 IC

LBC x 30 IC

Flutter Kicks x 20 IC

Merkins x 20 IC

Mosey around Snowballs while each PAX bucket carried our jellybeans around 1x,.  Continue mosey until all 12 HIMS have completed one lap.  By my count, it was close to a half mile.

Mosey down to old HT shopping center, alternating jellybean carry.

From parking lot, mosey to loading dock, bear crawl down the ramp, run to parking lot and complete 20 squats

Rinse and repeat above x3; plank it up waiting on the six

Quick count off

Next up we formed in a horizontal line (that’s not vertical) and  crab walked to the first light pole, mosey back to the start

Rinse and repeat x3; plank it up waiting on the six

Next up form a line on your six, get close together.  Complete 1 chest press with the jellybean bucket and pass to the next HIM.  This is where it got interesting.  Think it was Roadie who shouted, one is too easy, let’s make it 3.  That sounded good, make it 3 YHC confirmed.  Then Huckleberry I believe,  wanted to demonstrate that he could bench press a car and did like 40.  At that point, Squirt yelled, I feel like I should be doing something else.  Ok, YHC  concurred.  Everyone does big boy sit ups while the bucket comes down the line.   There was some other mumble chatter and I heard in a serious tone that the Q needed to take control.   YHC quickly countered that this was a group activity, inspired to drive engagement and collaboration from the PAX.  Clearly, that was accomplished.   Shortly after, YHC Omaha’d from there.   Editors note:  this activity will make a return and will be dynamic.

Mosey up the parking lot for some Dora, pair up.  200 squats, 100 merkins total.  1 partner runs across the parking lot while the other performs the exercise.

Plank waiting on the six

Mosey towards Snowballs, don’t forget the jellybeans.

Stop at the wall; Dips x 20 IC, Step ups 10 per leg; Rinse and Repeat

Mosey back to Snowballs; TIME



Start getting ready for 2019 Burpeethon

Christmastown 5k is quickly filling up

Easy Rider has the Q next Monday and had a sly grin on his face while saying that he has something special.


Good work men.  Keeping pushing the rock.  If you haven’t posted in a while, get out there.  It does your body and mind some good.



Did it all for the cookies

A nice morning in the gloom.  Was much cooler, than the last time I posted.   Returning with the Q may not have been my best idea, however, I needed the motivation to not fartsack.   My plan was to try to challenge the PAX (11 strong), but not re-injure myself in the process.   For the BRR gang, it was probably a walk in the park, however, those guys are from a different planet.


Warm up

Moroccan Night Clubs x 20 IC

Don Quote’s (aka wind mill) x 20 IC

SSH x 20 IC

Lap around no-ball’s – Whoopee issued a challenge that couldn’t do a mile around no-ball’s.  At first, it sounded like a good idea, however, would have completely thrown off my plan.  Will revisit that one soon.

The Thang

Mosey to old HT parking lot

First activity – an old faithful, run to loading dock, bear crawl down ramp, run to parking lot, 20 squats OOO

Rinse and repeat x 3

Mosey to Food Lion parking lot

Wall sits for 60 seconds, rinse and repeat

Mosey towards Robinson Elementary

Monkey humpers x 20 waiting on the six

Mosey up to school

Find a spot on the wall – 20 step ups OOO (rinse and repeat x 3)

Mosey to track

Partner up

Run half a lap and complete partner merkins x 10

Run back and complete 25 LBC’s

Rinse and Repeat x 5

Mosey to ball field, find a place on the steps

Calf Raises x 10 with feet together IC followed by 10 wide stance, rinse and repeat

Q Fail, not sure exactly what YHC did on the last cadence, somehow we got extra’s

Mosey back to Food Lion parking lot

Flutter kicks waiting on the six

Jail Break back to Snoballs –

Arrived at 6:15 sharp



Burpee Challenge Oct 6th

Prayer Requests

Child missing from Rankin Park

Family of young girl who passed over the weekend at cross country event

Gastone’s mother-in-law and family

Always a honor to Q.  Turtleman

Changes at the dark knight or is it the black night?

Another typical morning in the gloom expecting a Gastone beat down, who had sent a pre-blast something to the effect of a surprise announcement or Q.   There was a big turn out.  More on that later.  There was 1 FNG, welcome Cow Bell.    Gastone provided the standard disclosures and hit on the 5 principles of F3.  He seemed to be focused and determined at this point and jumped right in to warm up.

The thang:

SSH x 25 ic

Merkins x15 ic

Mosey to the park taking the scenic view along the fields

Partner up for elevens- start with hand slap merkins, move up the hill for partner derkins, then back

Rinse and repeat till complete

40 lbs’s while waiting on the six

At this point, Gastone gathered the Pax for an announcement.  Started talking about change and how it was time to hand off the baton after about 18 months for the dark knight Monday AO.   At this point, I noticed a number of tears from the Pax.  Maybe that was the sweat or perhaps sadness.  Gastone shared that YHC was taking over.   Feeling the love, YHC immediately called the next exercise, none other than  tunnel of love.  Form a line, get in a plank position  with the beginning of the line completing a military crawl.  Continue till the end of the line.

Turtle walk – like an Indian Run, except with a bear crawl.  Key learning, this doesn’t work with so many men after so many merkins.

Mosey to play ground

Partner up

Partner A completes.10 pull ups while partner B completes 20 squats

Rinse and repeat

Mosey towards snoballs

Stop for 20 big boy sit ups

Mosey to the start

End with the pledge

The mole skin

A pretty big Q fail on my part.  Video did not record during namerama.   If you were there and don’t see your name let me know.

A big shout out to all AO leads for ensuring Q’s go off without a hitch.  For those recently relinquishing, thank you for your leadership and for setting the bar high.

It’s always a honor to lead.  Till next time – Turtleman

Could we pass the NCSU PE class with high honors??

That was the question weighing on my mind. The back story : met a young  guy at the gym doing various exercises similar to what we do at F3.  He was working very hard and was intense.  Tried to head lock him to get him out.  Long story short, he wanted to pass his PE class next semester at State.   I was curious, asked a few questions and pulled the course curriculum from State’s online registar.   Could this be a good winkie?

Knowing F3 Gastonia has a number of State fans (not sure how many actually graduated) or how many padded their gpa’s with PE, I figured we could have some fun with it.  So we get started and to his credit, T bone was the only one to claim having graduated there. I am pretty sure in his graduate work, he didn’t take PE.   So would be a new experience.  At this point, I am very interested to see if the pax could earn high honors.

The thang



Warm up

Moroccan night clubs x 20 IC

SSH x 20 IC.

Mosey down to the shopping center

1st PT test – 40 push ups in 2 minutes.  All pax passed on 1st attempt achieving a score of a B.   40 was the criteria

Run to the loading dock, bear crawl down to side walk, run to parking lot, complete 20 squats oyo.  Rinse and repeat x3

2nd PT test – 100 lbc’s within 2 minutes:  again all pax passed with a B based on current NCSU thresholds.

Mosey to other end of lot for some wall work

Hip slaps IC x 10 (complete Q fail, yhc screwed that one up with cadence)

Wall sits for 1 minute

Back to hip slaps this time oyo to 10

Wall sits for 1 minute

Mosey behind shopping center, jump the wall and wait for pax in back parking lot of doctors office.

Plank waiting on the six

Next PT test – 50 ww I sit ups in 2 minutes.  All pax passed with another B score.

Mosey around building, stop at road.  Squat jump up the hill to first light, run back, rinse and repeat x3.  Island was a beast, practically floating in the air.

Gastone honored us with a  quick count of flutter kicks x40 I think

Mosey through the neighborhood to cut thru to the park.  Plank while waiting on the six.  Yhc heard a train and called 5 burpees.   Monk whispers you didn’t hear a train.  Must of been a ghost train.

Mosey to back field for the price of admission.  The main event, the turtle run.  Like an Indian run except everyone bear crawls with last in line moving to the front.  Was a crowd pleaser.

Running short on time, mosey to picnic shelter.

20 dips oyo x2

20 step ups oyo x 2

Mosey back towards Snoballs.  Stop and plank at top of park waiting on six

Jail break back to Snoballs


  • Moleskin:   the Pax put in some good work.  It was a honor to lead.  Everyone earned their B.   Next time we will target the A thresholds.   Pretty amazing to think about a bunch of older men accomplishing what many young kids can’t achieve.   Mind over body.  Keep pushing the rock.  Till next time – Turtle Man



Beast Mode: An original by TOTO

As I write the title, it prompts me to start singing  “I bless the rains down in Africa, I bless the rains down in Africa, Gonna take the time to do the things we never had.”  Dang, TOTO was a cool band at one time.  Alexa – play some TOTO.  Any how, I digress…..

Back to the F3’s TOTO’s original.  Another beautiful morning in the gloom.  18 posted for a VQ hosted by TOTO and TurtleMan.  This included two FNG’s – Jerry Best and son Samuel – welcome to F3 guys.   Tuesday night TOTO and I were texting to develop a game plan.  I mentioned to him, let’s use an Animal Kingdom theme.  It was more jocular being that a dog and a turtle were going to be Q’ing.  TOTO said he was going to write down what he wanted to lead and send it to me.  I looked at it late and said to myself, whatever works.  Editor’s note – remember to always read the disclosures and fine print details.  So we start sharp at 5:30am, welcome the FNG’s, Disclosure (I am an idiot), Whoopee assist’s with the 5 principal’s of F3 and then pledge.

The Thang

TOTO provides a few words, mentions the animal kingdom theme and sternly shouts “we are going Beast mode”.  What we didn’t know, couldn’t hurt us…. right?  He jumps straight into warm up

Warm up

Mountain Climbers x 20 IC

Merkins x 20 IC

Side Straddle Hops x 20 IC

Let’s Mosey

Down the parkway stop at first intersection for 50 LBC’s OYO

Mosey to the back lot of the doctors office.  Beast mode begins

Shuttle merkins x 12 OYO

Calf raises x 12 (front, side, back)

Hindu merkins x 12 OYO

Rinse and repeat  x3.   At some point Sargento shows up, followed shortly by Hippa.  Have no idea how they found us.  We could of been any where.

Line up back of parking lot, lunge walk across to the other side

Mosey towards Gastone’s hill, stop at next intersection for 50 monkey humpers OYO

Continue Mosey, stop at bottom of hill

TOTO leads us through

Archer merkins x 12 OYO

Squat jumps x 12 OYO

Pike press merkins x 12 OYO

Rinse and repeat x3

Bernie Sanders up the hill to the cul-de-sac at the top

Plank waiting on the six

50 flutter kicks OYO

Mosey down hill, plank for the six

Mosey towards Snoballs

Stop for 50 squats OYO

Jail break to finish

The moleskin:

Great to have FNG’s Jerry Best (Honey) and son Samuel (Cheerios) join.  F3 Gastonia continues to grow and expand.  Results are clear and word is out.  Everyone is playing a key role.  You may not realize it, others are watching or listening.  It’s due to efforts such as TOTO.  He randomly shows up two weeks ago, stops his truck in the middle of the road, asks if he can join us (sure, come on) and has hit it hard daily.  And already jumping into VQ his first post.  Within 2 weeks!  It takes each of us to make this work.  If you haven’t Q’d  lately, follow TOTO’s lead and jump in full beast mode.  I may just fartsack the first time he carries his first solo Q.

We had a strong turnout.  Good work guys.  It’s a privilege and was an honor to partner with TOTO to lead.  Think the shoulders and arms will be sore for a day or two.



Plan A or Plan B was the Question

Another glorious morning in the gloom for a special ordered beat down.  Not sure about some of the previous night’s Twittersphere comments (petroleum jelly or not), anyway thought may have some special attendees.   Had a few ideas in mind.

***editor’s note:  writers block alert, writers block alert. ****

To be continue

Options are Good

It was a beautiful morning in the gloom (May 23rd) at the dark knight (aka snowballs… or pelicans).  As our Uber driver picked us up, I mentioned the idea of repeating YHC’s Q from two weeks ago or trying something new down in the park.  My previous Q was when the weasel wanker took the bull by the horns and posted the back blast.  I figured a rinse and repeat would be good with the Murph upcoming and to set the record straight.  Anyway, I decided to take option B and into the park instead.

The Thang:

No FNG’s, let’s jump in

The Pledge

40 SSH’s IC

20 DQ’s aka wind mills:  used to loosen core and yes technically an exercise

Mosey to the park

Find the first hill and complete

25 incline LBC’s  (mumble chatter was saying the hill made LBC’s easier…. hmmm, let’s see what happens)

25 monkey humpers OYO

Rinse and repeat x 4 :  the chatter quickly dissipated

Mosey to the wheel spoke for 10 burpees

Mosey to lower field for Black Jack:  WW III sit ups (chatter about what those are  – for the millennial’s aka WWI) and plank jacks.   Started with 20 sit ups ran across the field and then one plank jack, rinse and repeat, each time going down or up by 1.  The key is that you always make 21 – black jack….. Sounded good in concept.  Until we got to 18 and it was going to take forever.   Omaha’d to reduce by 2 each rotation.

Planks waiting on the six

Quick count off – 14 strong

Slow meander to playground

Modified Cindy – 5 pull ups, 10 merkins and 15 squats x 5 OYO

Quick mosey to the field by the turd shack for the crowd pleaser.   My version of a turtle run, renamed live action, thanks Whoopee.  It’s an Indian Run modified with bear crawls instead of running.   Last person in line raced to the front while the line moved.  Made it through all 14 and time was about up.  Will incorporate this one for sure in future posts.

Mosey back to Dark Knight.

Gastone took us out with flutters.  TIME up

The Moleskin

A great push by the Pax.   I am continuously amazed and in awe of how everyone continues to raise their game.  Everyone is hammering away and pushing the rock.   It shows.   Shout out to Island, who is absolutely killing it.  Thanks for the privilege to Q.  Good work men.

Also, I appreciate the weasel wanker holding me accountable on posting the back blasts.

Have a great week.  Till next time

Turtle Man






Something Old But New

It was a beautiful fall Friday morning for a beat down.  YHC was still feeling a bit sore from Whoopie’s Wednesday hellevens or whatever they were called.  So I had a few options in mind.  YHC noticed Stone Cold showed without his weight vest, so I figured a few others may still be recovering.

It’s been a while since YHC has Q’d at the downtown AO.  The PAX was 16 strong so I called an audible real time and decided to revisit the old to sludge through the gloom.  From memory, we started with standard disclosures and the PLEDGE.

Warm up: SSH x 40 IC, LBC x 20 IC, 10 merkins IC, 10 burpees OC

The THANG:  mosey to the memorial bridge, bear cross over, mosey down to court house for dips x 15 IC, incline merkins x 15 IC, crab kicks x 15IC.  Sort of like a leg lift.  Rinse and repeat.   Heard some mumble chatter about the crab kicks being like the Rockets.   A big fail, want try those again.

Mosey to end of parking lot, 10 burpees and then mosey across the street behind the police station.  Up first,  20 own your on WWI sit ups, run up stairs, do 10 merkins and back down the stairs, rinse and repeat x 5.  At some point, heard the 550 am inbound train, paused and completed the mandatory 5 burpees.  Did that a few times.  Assumed the plank position while the six caught up.

Immediately meandered to the hill with the ramp.  All the pax jumped on the rails, while one bear crawled up the hill, while everyone else was moving down the rail requiring constant motion and completed two passes.  If there is  name for this exercise, please let YHC know.  It burns the shoulders real quick.

Quick mosey across the street for some partner Dora.  At this point, oxygen was depleted and think it was 100 squats, 200 merkins and 300 LBC’s while one partner ran to bottom of hill and back.  YHC noticed that time was running short and Omaha’d to 200 merkins and then 200 LBC’s.  Plank position till all completed and then mosey back towards pavilion.  Back at the bridge where we started, bear crawls back over and the a jail break to the pavilion.  Wanting to ensure that everyone got their money’s worth, asked Gastone to lead us in flutter kicks, which may of gotten to a 40 count.

Announcements and Prayer Requests.


Great effort by the Pax.  To see guys continuing to push and dig deep inspires me.  It’s amazing what your body can do when determined and motivated.  Mind over matter prevails every time.  It’s a privilege to Q and I always learn something new.  A wienke is great for keeping you organized during a Q  with the added benefit of being on target when posting about it.  Amazing how limited my recall is from working out before the rosters are up.  Keep up the great work men.

Till next time

Turtle Man


Mas Vale Tarde Que Nunca

Siete pax se reunieron en la penumbra para un miercoles por la manana golpean hacia abajo.

The goal was to post the BB with a full Spanish update.  With  spell check and other technical difficulties, that would take all night.  No time for that.  So here goes.

The thang as best that I recall:  The pledge followed by warm up:  SSH x 20 IC, LBC’s x 20 IC, Merkins x 10 IC, Moroccan Night Club’s x 10 IC.  Mosey towards KFC to pick up some rocks and on to the old HT.  Put the coupons down to start.  Up first, run to the loading dock, jump up, bear crawl down the ramp, run to parking lot and do 20 squats.  Rinse and repeat times 5.

Mosey towards the Food Lion, pause for 10 burpees, then continue towards car wash.  Borrow the curb for dips x 15 IC and derkins x 10 IC then rinse and repeat.  Mosey to Union Rd and detour to Dollar store.  They have a nice parking lot so YHC figured would do some Mary, 20 WWI sit ups, 20 LBC’s,  60 seconds of PC planks, followed by mtn climbers x 30 – rinse and repeat.  Recover and mosey back toward old HT.  Midway stop for 10 burpees.

Back to reclaim our coupons.  Partner up, on the ground with backs to backs , pass rocks in a full cycle x 20 then run to 2nd light and back.  Rinse and repeat times 3.  Quick 10 count and then shoulder presses x 20 into lunge walk with coupons to 1st light and back.  Seems like we  did that 3x’s.  Whoopie kept with a quick count off 5, 10, so we just continued.  Finished with a quick balls to the wall for a minute.  Time was getting close, mosey to return rocks and then jail break back to snow balls.

Moleskin:  Great work by all. It was a pleasure to lead.  A quick shout out to Snow Man, who posted for the first time a week or so ago.  He’s focused and putting in the work.   A great example for all of us to keep pushing and digging forward,be it life, a work out, job or whatever.   On a related note, Q power is real.   I always heard that but it took experiencing it to truly understand.  If you haven’t Q’d or posted in a while, only you can make it happen.

Till next time – Turtle Man

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