F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Author: Short Sale (page 1 of 5)

What am I forgetting…?

Oh, yeah, the backblast…well over the Folsom 60 minute rule for posting and even some of the unwritten 24 to 48 hour “rule” to submit a backblast. Now it’s time to once again take the bull by the horns. It’s possible the Q has become delirious. Seriously, he’s running 100 miles per week, maybe logging more miles than sleep. So I suppose we’ll give the mighty Gastone a pass this time.

It all began over a week ago, early on a Sunday morning in the gloom. Gastone headed out from the parking lot at the Harris Teeter, affectionately known among F3 lore as The Coconut Horse. Maybe his mission was to run to CrossRoads and check with the other running AO. He ran and ran for miles with the soaked shirt to prove it. Others did some extra credit too, Stroganoff and Short Sale passed in the darkened morning. A few others would soon arrive into the parking lot at the standard start time of 0630. Short Sale was hustling into the lot to meet the pack that just started off on their journey. Roscoe had already ripped his shirt off and declared him to be late. Monk was now alongside and the quintet was set.

The standard loop was completed without any highlights or bloopers to speak of. The pledge was recited, announcements shared, and prayers lifted. Stroganoff had soccer dad duty and hustled home for his 2.0. The remaining four enjoyed Starbucks and conversation. What a great Q – I mean maybe one of the best ever. So glad it could finally be documented.

Com’in Back from Cali…

My family vacation this summer was a trip to the west coast, starting in LA and finishing in San Diego, checking out the left coast for a change of scenery. It was beautiful, well parts were at least. LA is a zoo and you can keep the traffic. Imagine Franklin Street during Christmas, 8 lanes wide all going at least 60 to 90 miles an hour. Then throw in a few Evil Knievals weaving in and out and splitting the lanes when they have to. I enjoyed seeing Mike Love’s current tour of the Beach Boys live, some good food, and a few other things, but it is good to be home. Where I thankfully checked the Q schedule as I was doing my month end Weasel Shaker duties to learn Turtle Man had me listed as Q of The Black Knight this morning. Actually it didn’t bother me – kind of got me excited to design a new workout.

I decided to use my sandbags and bricks for a portion so that required me to get up early. That wasn’t a problem as my body clock is all to heck at the moment. I woke up about 0200 for some reason and doubt I slept much until the alarm at 0500. Good news is I arrived early to the AO for a change; second one in the parking lot behind the freshly shaved Island. If he didn’t have the purple Hornets shirt on, I’d have thought we had an 20 year old FNG. Don’t worry, Island said “the beard” will return one day. Whoopee and Stone Cold declare they were going to run instead of attend my boot camp. I was a little hurt because Whoopee and I already traded barbs via twitter – not over our musical interest but over the workout. But he’s got the BRR upcoming that requires dedicated miles. Now – my man Gastone – he got up early for EC to log his miles and then posted for the extra pain. He had the sweaty knuckles to prove it. Others began to roll in and it was time to clock in. Veterans abound so only the brief disclaimer was stated: “modify as necessary.”

Warm-up:

  • 4×4 (4 merkins, 4 mtn climbers) x 5
  • Butt Kickers IC x 10
  • Squat Jack Twits IC x 10
  • Burpees 5 OYO

Pledge

Mosey via the gravel road to the first picnic shelter at Martha Rivers, careful to avoid the large dumpster truck. Upon arrival I explained Round 1: mini Insanity. The circuit had 4 exercises at 30 seconds each with no rest until after all had been completed. We did 3 rounds of AMRAP during each 30 set:

  • Knee crunches (rest back of calves on picnic bench)
  • Dips
  • Box Jumps
  • Decline Peter Parkers

This was a grueling set that immediately brought the sweat, except for Gastone – he was already moist. Odd word “moist:” but guys find it funny while women seem to hate it unless it is mentioned in baking – is it time to digress? On the knee crunches I reiterated to give yourself some headroom between the picnic benches and quickly referenced the fabled Michael Scott joke “that’s what she said…” It took a second before the chuckles occurred. It was dark and I think it was Pedal that nearly broke the table on one of the moves – he said he was fine. Gastone tried to bring the mumble chatter but he seemed to be the only one. A peanut gallery of one is tough; time to mosey to Phase II – along the upper track and through the back entrance to Riverwood we ran until reaching the entrance. We dropped for LBC’s for a period of time until the 6 arrived and all had done at least 30 seconds of crunches. Let’s get to the office building for 11’s. I’ve not done these in a while but recalled Island doing an entire workout of this exercise and it being tough. My version was to begin with 10 merkins on the south end, run to the opposite side near the wall for 1 flying squirrel. You know the drill from there. All the guys pushed hard through that one. Other than the huffs for breath, it was quiet.

The final Thang only required a fellowship mosey to the front of the old HT. I did this a Midoriyama a few weeks ago and it was a crowd pleaser. Learning from that lesson we divided into groups of 3. P1 would remain at the parking line and perform Moroccan Night Clubs with bricks in each hand. P2 would lunge walk to the next parking line with sand bags in each hand or over their shoulder. P3 was waiting while performing flutter kicks. P2 set the timer for the exchange meaning P1 and P3 had +/- a minute of the exercises. Most of the time MNC’s are docile but do them for a minute with resistance and the shoulders will burn. More time was needed as we only made it two rounds before a sprint was required back to the AO.

COT: The announcements have been posted in other BB’s so take  a look. Throw some school supplies in your car as Hush Puppy and Squirt are collecting for Least of These kids. We lifted prayers for the newest AO Mt. Hollywood, all the guys traveling, and all the thoughts in our hearts and minds.

Today was a grinder but one that everyone pushed through. We really could have used two more really strong men to make the teams of three work, oh that’s right, they were running. I’ll still count them since they did break a sweat during their 5 mile mosey. To the others, it was good to see TimeFrame back along with many of the regulars. Thanks to our fearless leader Turtle Man that put me as the Q. Even though he was spooning this morning and missed his ride to the workout, he made sure his PAX were taken care of – you’re welcome. Until the next one, thanks for the opportunity to lead.

Drink the cooler…

Many of you know that I graduated from NC State. Being a Wolfpack fan is most certainly a test of perseverance. There have been many football and basketball games that my team was bitten trying to snag a victory from the jaws of defeat. But there have been bright spots that allow my red to be worn with pride. In November 2003 I was sitting with my college friends, commiserating over losing to last place Maryland. Not only losing, but getting our ass handed to us like Chinese take-out, to the tune of 41-14 late in the third quarter. It seemed hopeless but miracles can often happen and one started brewing. Mike Glennon finally made a play and we scored to draw within 20 points. Then Maryland fumbled and we scored again. Momentum shifted nearly as fast as Wojo on a jailbreak. My friend beside me said something I’ll never forget: “If we win this, I’ll drink the cooler…” The cooler he referenced was the remainder of cold beers that we made a decent dent in the pre-game tail gate and again at halftime.  It would be a tall task for anyone not named Huck or Roadie. So after Saturday’s Q where I brought the cooler for my “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” workout, I had a number of odd beers laying in warm water. What better way to get rid of them than take Midoriyama’s open Q for today. The day after the Fourth of July, forecasted in the 90’s again, I thought I might have a few takers.

I arrived to find a few men standing against the wall of the turd shack, the only shade available in the normal gathering spot. Breaker Breaker was stretching, going for a double. Apparently he didn’t challenge himself enough this morning at the Goat and wanted a bit more – nice push BB. A regular cast of characters gathered and 1730 hit. I turned and began reciting the pledge ignoring the mumble chatter. A veteran PAX needed nothing more than “follow me at your own risk…” No time to waste, skipping the standard DQ’s and MNC’s. “Get in high plank and follow me…”

Warm-up:

  • Mtn Climbers IC x 10
  • Plank Jacks IC x 10
  • Peter Parker IC x 10
  • X Crunch SC x 10
  • Scissor Touch R – SC x 10 (left arm by side, both feet 6″ off ground, right hand straight overhead; R arm/L leg go to 90 degrees to touch and go back – it’s a burner.
  • Scissor Touch L – SC x 10
  • Elbow plank – right hip touch SC x 10
  • Elbow plank – left hip touch SC x 10
  • Elbow plank alternate hip roll-overs SC x 20

Mary is out of the way, time to mosey to the picnic shelter. It was only about 90 degrees pre-workout. I felt a little gipped as Freight’s Q on Tuesday was in the 97 degree oven – stuff JV workouts are proudly known for. But I had a lot of cardio planned and I opted to conduct it under the picnic shelter – for those that showed – you’re welcome. We lost Gomer at this point. He posted in standard attire of jeans and boots. Maybe there was a fire to put out but he bailed. The remainder gathered under the shelter for instructions. Some observed there was no cooler in sight. Keep ’em guessing. For those that post at the Goat, the idea came from Jen A that runs the Bootcamp in Cramerton. We split into three groups. Each station had three exercises at 10 single count reps to perform as many rounds as you can in 3 minutes.

  • Station 1
    • 10 Box Jumps
    • 10 Dips
    • 10 American Hammers
  • Station 2
    • 10 Burpees (Slaw – you’re welcome)
    • 10 Flutter Kicks
    • 10 Decline Peter Parker (a crowd pleaser)
  • Station 3 – each PAX had a brick for each hand
    • 10 Setup w/ Press
    • 10 Derkin Row (another crowd pleaser)
    • 10 Bulgarian Squat

After each circuit, we ran a lap around the parking lot to make sure the heart rate stayed up. Lots of subtle shoulder work in these gems. Three minutes straight of cardio is tough. Sargento stated he needed more running on the Weinke – but I’d argue he gets enough of that. Plenty of groans let out when I called only the first minute complete. There would be more to come. Bring out the cooler. Like the deck of death, grab a beer with two exercises to be performed to failure. When you fail, switch to the other one. Some switched multiple times – I did on dips and derkins they are no joke.

  • 99 seconds – IceHouse – Merkins and Peter Parkers
  • 98 seconds – PBR – Leg lifts and Am Hammer
  • 97 seconds – Ole English (Sargento couldn’t resist the temptation; Queso was impressed) Burpees and Dying Cockroaches
  • 96 seconds – Miller High Life – Ash Pond pulled it out and popped the top before I could call out the exercise – Good man. This was a trap, but a good one. He polished off the 16 ounces pretty quick while the PAX caught their breath. Freight made it clear that none of the Baptists partook of the Devil’s Juice. Ash Pond = #HIM
  • 95 seconds – Coors Light – Monkey Humpers and High Knees
  • 94 seconds – Budweiser – Dips and Derkins

If the PAX complained about 3 minute circuits, they really didn’t like doing over 30 seconds of the same exercises. Plenty of whining when I announced a minute left in each set and we weren’t even to the half-way point. But we made it five rounds and the PAX earned every bead of sweat. Once finished, the cooler had bottled waters for the PAX to take with them on the return to base. There we met Swimmer that had been on a bike ride.

COT: We lifted prayers for Breaker Breaker’s M going through some challenges. Def Leppard is leaving in the morning for his overseas trip. We wish him safety upon his travels. Same for Sargento and Queso, going on a father-son adventure to Chicago. A Cubs game is on the schedule. Enjoy the time and be safe. Announcements – rafting in a few weeks – check twitter.

Moleskin: I think I’m 2 for 2 with the cooler workout. I was happy to see Ash Pond enjoy the bait. Using the beers for the exercise selection is nothing more than to generate mumble chatter. Not difficult for Midoiyama men. It wouldn’t be the same if they weren’t complaining or needling someone. So I’ll keep this Weinke around. I think the Folsom boys would really enjoy it but early feedback suggests I may need to have some on reserve that we wouldn’t get much of the exercises in. Going back to the State win, Coach Tom O’Brien said “What we needed to do was to get one score, because you have to get the first one. Then you can get the second one. You can’t make it up all at one time.” Like anything we do, it begins with the first rep and then the second. Before you know it, you’ve completed a set, then a circuit, then a mile. IT all adds up to our benefit. Thanks for the opportunity to lead. Until the next one…Cheers

99 Bottles of Beer…

Whoopee vacated his Q slot for this morning’s bootcamp. Either his M failed to tell him or he failed to remember they had a garage sale scheduled bright and early this morning. Plenty of George Strait cd’s are still available I here. So I gladly took control for the boot camp while Bedpan was to have his VQ with the Pain Lab. When I’m on a work call that looses my interest, I open my excel file with all of my Weinkes and get creative. This idea had been brewing for a while and I tempted the PAX of Gastonia via Twitter and Slack, hoping to entice a big crowd.

I arrived in the parking lot after an EC run and was pleasantly surprised at the eager group of PAX. I had a strong feeling Udders from Greensboro would post. I was happy to see the return of the “the Streak,” as well as Hushpuppy. I attempted to lure Brownstreak to the bootcamp providing as much insight as I could (he doesn’t like surprises if you didn’t know) but he was leaning toward the Pain Lab. I checked my watch and 0700 struck – time to get this train wreck mov’in.  No FNG’s but a disclaimer was stated as there were some newer men among us. “You verses you, modify as needed, do what you want to do.” Did I say you verses you? I did…let’s go:

Warm-up:

  • SSH IC x 10
  • Squats (apparently I didn’t say “in cadence” though the PAX were following my lead quite nicely until HIPAA called me out) we finished 10 – in cadence
  • Rapid fire: LBC’s in rapid cadence x 8; Plank Jacks in rapid cadence x 8, and just for HIPAA: 5 Burpees OYO

Pledge – boot camp bid adieu to the Pain Lab

We moseyed to the Grier track for Part I. Once through the gate we circled and I was once again surprised that only 7 men followed me. I guess the temptation wasn’t strong enough or the PAX were skeered as they sometimes say. No matter – the PAX that faced me were ready for a beat down and I was ready to give it. The biggest form of flattery is to borrow from another man’s workout. The track work is a combination from Stroganoff’s world famous “Wolfpack Grinder” and one that Tiny Tank led in honor of his West Point classmate Dan Whitten. To perform the real Whitten – you need some equipment, so modifications were in order. However – if you have access to a dumbbell or kettle-bell and a medicine ball – look up this workout and do it when you can’t attend F3. You will be tested. So today’s version was originally slated for 4 rounds of 20 reps. After round 1, I modified unbeknownst to the PAX. Here’s what we did:

  • Steps-ups
  • Dips
  • Run 200 meters
  • Burpees
  • SSH
  • Run 200 meters to complete a full lap
  • Round 1 was 20 single count reps of the exercises; Round 2 was 15, and Round 3 was 10

I omaha’ed the fourth round because of time. Thanks to Roscoe for leading plank work waiting for the PAX to gather. Props to Roscoe for leading the charge with Udders closely following. This circuit was designed to elevate the heart rate. I’ve found that any occasion to run and throw in burpees will get your ticker pumping. A quick count off confirmed all eight men were still with us. Onto First Presbyterian Church’s PAD where the Main Event was waiting.

The set up took a minute to get the music going (thanks Rudolph for your speaker) and the cooler opened. Preparing for this Q was a bit unique and took me to three different stores to find the various coupons. I did fulfill a few requests but unfortunately those men were not among my PAX. Stroganoff titles many of his routines and this one deserved such distinction: 99 Bottles of Beer. Think all the way back to your elementary school days and those field trips. I feel certain that most if not all of us sang the song as the bus took off. I’m going to venture a guess that few field trips ever actually completed the countdown. I imagine in today’s PC world, young kids singing a song with “beer” in the lyric would be frowned upon. But today’s workout would bring smiles. So think of the “deck of death” workout but instead of cards, various bottles of beer were used. The time began with, yep you guessed it, a 99 second circuit, followed by a 30 second rest and then 98 seconds, and so on. I offered the PAX an asterisk that if they selected a bottle and didn’t like the exercises, they could “take one for the team” with a power chug of the ice cold beer. Some thought about it but none accepted the challenge, at least the drinking beer part. It went like this:

  • 99 seconds: Old English 40 – Single line suicides & V Ups
  • 98 seconds: Busch Light – Donkey Kicks & CDD’s
  • 97 seconds: PBR – Jingle Balls & Am Hammers
  • 96 seconds: Natural Light – Ski Abs & LBC’s
  • 95 seconds: Stella Artois – Step Ups & Derkins
  • 94 seconds: Ice House – SSH & Squats
  • 93 seconds: Mich Ultra – Hi/Low Wall Taps & Floyd Mayweathers
  • 92 seconds: Bud Light – Lt Dans & Flutter Kicks
  • 91 seconds: Miller High Life (Just for Medicine Woman – a no show) – Burpees & Dying Cockroach

You see two exercises – most tabatas are 30 to 45 seconds.  Doing any one exercise for 99 seconds; it’s not that easy. So the idea was to do the first exercise to failure and then start the second – keep the cardio and heart rate going as much as possible. The mumble chatter was pretty good. Roscoe announced each new round with “(name) get you a cold beer.” I also had a cooler of water for the PAX and we certainly enjoyed a few of those cold ones in the summer humidity. We completed 9 rounds before it was time to head home. Oh did I mention the play list? All songs about drinking cold beer or partying or just a cool groove, but mostly about drinking: Blooze (Junkyard), Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World (Steel Panther), Had Enough (Tesla), Toes (Zac Brown Band), Day Drinking (Little Big Town), Metalingus (Alter Bridge). I hear that some bumpkin midget named George Strait has a song called “Cold Beer Conversation” but after listening to 30 seconds I decided the slow moving twang would have a negative effect on our heart rate. Maybe the next Q can use that song while doing yoga or an hour’s worth of star gazers?

PAIN LAB BB:

Shoulder press,lunge,lbc,merkin x20 three times.

Annie’s=planks one handed taking the other hand in the motion of cleaning the floor. Each side hold 20 seconds.

Bat wings x 20; 4 x each

Forwards, backwards circles; Seal claps, overhead claps x 20

WWII, Sandy V, Freddy Mercury’s, LBC’s, Flutter Kicks, Heel taps.

  • 5 burpees
  • 10 lunges
  • 15imperial walkers
  • 20 merkins

Sally up song w/ squats

15 super mike Tyson’s = mike Tyson then a burpee afterward.

15 minutes of battle rope alternating between planks

15 minutes of kettle bells

Rotated these two in groups.

COT: I ran with Madoff for some extra credit this morning. He was unable to post because his son had a swim meet but asked for a friend Nikki Bailey that is battling stomach cancer. We also lifted up prayers for Hushpuppy’s work friend Ashley that lost her battle with cancer leaving behind a family. Toto’s mother-in-law and his marriage. I believe Timeframe had a request that I cannot recall the specific name. We have a lot of PAX traveling home or to vacation destinations – we asked for their safe travels as well as safety and enjoyment as we look forward to celebrating July 4th.

Moleskin: Roadie was correct – the enticement of beer was a trap, well sort of. As noted, the PAX had the opportunity to drink one for the team. Of course splashing merlot would have come into play. I appreciate the 7 PAX that followed me out of the parking lot and allowed me to have some Q-fun with the workout. It was a grinder but the guys pushed through. Roscoe was on fire. Until you hear Moses say his age, you wouldn’t know by the way he pushes through the workout. Toto is drinking the F3 Kool-Aid like it was a free keg on the 4th of July. Nice to have Dr. Feelgood in the fold. Blart was quiet but had his typical dry witted comedic statement that got the guys laughing. JJ was steady as always, and Udders joined in as if he was one of us and not just visiting. Great work by the boot camp guys. Once the workout ended, we re-packed the cooler and I now have a collection of tall-boys, double-deuces, and an Ole E “fo-ty” that I doubt I’ll ever drink. High school and college was a long time ago and I have enough room in my budget for my standard Bud Light. So that means before this piss-water goes bad, I may need to bring the cooler to an AO near you. I’m scanning the Q schedule and you may very well find yourself participating in my version of 99 Beers on the Wall. That is unless Udders doesn’t snatch my Weinke and take this cooler to G-boro. It was a pleasure to Q.

If you can take the heat, get in my kitchen

I have been looking forward to this Q – I had the concept for the “what” and only needed to wait for the opening in the busy schedule for Midoriyama. There is quite a following which speaks volumes for the AO that Def Leppard leads. As your Weasel Shaker, I track all of the numbers and our only afternoon workout averages 17.3 men for the two workouts each week. Why is that important? I had coupons and circuits that required a unique three-man rotation.

I had my work scheduled cleared and happily checked out of the office at 4:15 to ensure enough time to navigate traffic on I-85 and set up the small soccer field for the pain that was to come. I checked the temperature as I parked my car – 95 degrees it read. Hot but the humidity is yet to come for the Boys of Summer.  The PAX arrived slowly but surely. Swimmer suited up for a bike ride and the rest of us gathered into the circle. Time to clock in:

Pledge (in record time)

Warm-up (maybe another record)

  • MNC’s IC x 1
  • Don Quixote’s IC x 2
  • SSH IC x 3
  • Toy Soldier’s IC x 4
  • Burpees 5 OYO
  • Let’s mosey to the small soccer field

Whoopee would have loved the shortened warm-up. It certainly provoked some chatter and curious thoughts among the PAX as for the efficiency. Frankly, we needed all the time to get through the Weinke. We arrived at Field 1 on the right which had a short course arranged. Tiger came in hot and sprinted to catch us. I was prepared for as many as 30 but 15 would be ideal for the coupons. Tiger gave us 10 for the bootcamp so we divided into two groups of three and a group of four for the following:

P1: takes the newly purchased bricks and performs:

  • MNC’s x 15 (sgl ct)
  • Squat Press x 10
  • Jack Webbs x 5

P2 grabbed a sandbag in each hand and farmer’s carried across the width of the soccer field. Q’s note this distance was too short and either needs to go the length or lunge walk to extend the time for P1 and P3 that are doing the exercises.

P3 is waiting on the opposite side of the field performing:

  • Makhtar N’Diaye’s x 5 (low plank to high plank)
  • Burps x 10
  • Mtn. Climbers x 15

P2 exchanges places with P3 who farmer’s carry the sandbags across the field to exchange with P1. We went a total of 5 rounds (~10 minutes). In case you’re not digesting the concept, I’ll give you the Workout for Dummies version. This set was a  shoulder/upper arm focus with the bricks on one end plus the 10 to 25 lb sandbags to conclude with the plank exercises. About midway through the PAX verbalized their shoulder burn. I felt it then as well but the burn has continued as I rest my arms on the desk trying to type this BB. This will be felt and because of that, it is a keeper for future Weinke’s. So after that was done, it was on to Thang #2. This was something I did a few weeks ago at the Black Knight. Roadie reminded me he was present for that one and hated it just as much then as he did today. I did modify this version slightly because we’d be doing it in the afternoon sauna. But in honor my man Slaw, I couldn’t Q a Midoriyama workout without filling his pallet of burpees. Unlike his Del Frisco’s anniversary dinner, this serving was free. With a little pre-amble I announced we’d be doing the Slaw-ful. Beginning with corner #1 do 12 burpees. Then running the short end of the field to corner #2 for 11, then the length of the field to corner #3 for 10, then corner #4 for 9. It descended all the way down to 1 for a total of 78 (the total workout had 103 burpees for the day – just in case your counting). Of course Slaw was in the lead pack with Sister Act. Amid the afternoon heat this really amped up the heart rate making it hard to catch our breaths but we pushed through. Well done by all the guys to knock that one out.

We were about a half hour into the workout and next on the list was something I had advertised had never been done before. The idea came from a simple elementary field day game – the balloon relay. Of course I needed to add a bit of a twist. So I printed out an exercise and reps on a slip of paper and slid it into the balloon. With 10 men we divided into two teams with one member of each team running across the field to the bleachers to sit on the balloon, find the piece of paper and return to their teammates with the exercise/reps to perform before the next man took off. After the Slawful of burpees, the rest was welcomed. The game had it’s share of challenges as Pizza Man squashed his balloon so violently the slip of paper flew out, taking him several seconds to find, allowing team 1 to take the lead. It wasn’t necessarily a competition as nothing was on the line except of course pride, which is as valuable as anything among F3 men. The red, blue, green, and yellow balloons contained the following exercises that each team performed twice.

  • Burpees x 10
  • Merkins x 10
  • LBC’s x 20
  • Flutter Kicks x 15
  • SSH x 20
  • Sumo Squats x 15

Once this session was complete there was about 7 minutes left – just enough time to clean up and mosey back to the start for a little bit of Mary which was Low plank roll-overs x 20, Leg Raises x 10, American Hammer x 15. Pizza Man called 22 for the Vets: Time!

COT: lifted prayers for Def Leppard’s son Logan that is currently in the hospital this week where the doctors and team are trying to diagnose the source of his seizure’s and develop a strategy for treatment. WE also shared about a friend of Blart’s who son passed unexpectedly, Pizza Man’s niece battling addiction, Sister Act’s grandmother, Tiger’s daughter traveling across country, and all those traveling for vacation. Announcements – Third F event Friday night at 7 pm at First Presbyterian Church. Pockets and YHC are your guest speakers. CSPAN is the guest Q at Folsom on Saturday and some guys are hiking Grandfather Mountain Saturday leaving at 0630 from the Schiele Museum.

Moleskin: As I came in early, Blart passed me on an extra credit run – tough to do in the heat knowing the bootcamp would follow. In a similar vain this afternoon was the second post for Roadie attending Folsom and Sister Act running the Pub. It was certainly warm this afternoon but not too bad. Def Leppard brought a cooler of water to share – that certainly hit the spot – thanks for bringing DL. We had a few minutes of rain arrive during the balloon relay that briefly cooled us. But no sooner than it quit did the steam from the hot ground warm us up. You never know how some of these ideas will pan out. The PAX seemed to enjoy it so I hope to bring parts of it back soon. It is always fun to be among the chatter at Midoriyama. Thanks to Def Leppard for the chance to lead. Until the next one.

Pain Lab: No Ordinary Hunkajunk

Of all the AO’s in our wonderful region, the Pain Lab is the hidden gem. If you’ve not tried it, well, you’re missing an opportunity. Created by Rudolph and now carried forward by HIPAA, the Pain Lab is a chance to do something different than you normally would do. No running, no jumping (well not much) but a focused workout that will provide your body a good test. With Folsom hosting the 2.0 friendly workout on 6/16, HIPAA was looking for a volunteer Q so he could be with his son on Father’s Day weekend.  My older girls were uninterested to join me at 0700 for a workout, so I took my sophomore Q for the Pain Lab. Earlier in the week Qheeshe sent me a text that he had hopeful candidate for the Pain Lab he was sending over. Unlike the most handsome cardiologist in Gastonia, Dr. Qweesh did not violate any HIPAA laws (that I know of). I planned my Weinke accordingly.

Saturday morning at 0600, I awoke to the dog standing over top of me – a bathroom excursion appeared to be the unspoken demand. I hooked the leash and went for a quick circle of our neighborhood. I arrived back home to gather my things and learned my 12 year old had splashed merlot during the night and not feeling well. Neither she nor my M had slept much. It was a decision point some of us had faced – do I run out and leave my M to deal with this or stay for moral support? I opted for option 1 feeling the Father’s Day weekend would buy me some reprieve of guilt or penance. So I left arriving later than intended, still needing to set-up the circuit of stations for the Pain Lab. Whoopee made sure to call me out for being late to the warm-up. I joined before Linus finished the first set of SSH’s among the other standard exercises before the pledge and then the division of bootcamp and Pain Lab. Qish and his FNG were present, Sargento followed behind, all were Pain Lab pledges at my disposal. Fortunately I brought along extra ‘quipment to be used. Unlike the normal bootcamp the Pain Lab, or at least my Q of it, would and always will begin with stretching. My only qualm with F3 is the stretching is OYO which at our ages, at least the +35 year olds can appreciate a little bit of stretching ahead of the beat-down. So our session began with another warm-up:

  • Seal Jacks IC x 10
  • Cotton Pickets IC x 10
  • Toy Soldiers IC x 10
  • Side to Side Lunge IC x 10
  • Inchworm Merkins – pyramid to 5 and back down
  • High Plank Lunge – Hip flexor/groin stretch (right, then left)
  • MNC’s IC x 10

Then it was time for the Thang which would be my favored tabata with 5 timed circuits of 40 seconds with a 20 second rest between; Three timed rounds with 30 seconds between each one.

Round I

  • Goblet Squat
  • Plank jack w/ Shoulder taps
  • Single Arm Swing (dumbbell wt of choice, 20 seconds R, then L)
  • Alt Lunge w/ twist using a dumbbell
  • Merkin w/ alternating rows

Round II

  • Mountain Climbers
  • French Curls
  • Low to High Plank (Sargento informed me these are called Mahktar N’ Diayes in the exercises lexicon – and he should know as master of the ABC workout)
  • Squat w/ Shoulder Press
  • Merkins

Of course I had music to play as no official Pain Lab is complete without some heavy metal to drive the backbeat and push the PAX. Rudolph and HIPAA would be disappointed to hear if anything less were attempted. I thought my playlist was worthy but of all people Sargento begins to poke holes in the selection. Then our FNG, Matt Stroupe says I picked the pop Metallica song, when they sold out (Hero of the Day). Fast forward…Dokken’s Paris is Burning played – they didn’t like that…Rush’s One Little Victory…not heavy enough…Q is failing big time. Finally Godsmack’s I Stand Alone blared and my PAX were happy. Before going any further, I should note that Qweesh made only two rounds of Circuit 1 before declaring he had to leave for work. Now this is the perfect opportunity to take a shot, maybe on his lack of upper body physique or his soccer arms. But it’s hard to throw a jab when someone was up earlier than me to run 10 miles prior to the workout and that he posted to provide a warm-hand off of FNG Matt. So the good doctor did his part and left his patient to mine and Sargento’s care. Good EH Dr. Squiche!

I had a third circuit waiting but we ran out of time, opting to head back to the starting point to initiate Mary for Linus’ bootcamp to return. We got in a few rounds of flutter kicks, American hammers, and Penguin Crunches before the bells rang to end the workout. We joined the others for the COT, naming Matt Stroupe “Hunkajunk” as he affectionately referenced his personal vehicle. Take notice of the spelling as the Weasel Shaker (me) has to clean up all your attempts to identify the PAX. (FYI – it’s Dr. Seuss with an “e” before the “u” – y’all suck at spelling Arial too – which you officially entered as the font when you intended it to be the Disney Princess (that is Ariel)). Okay – I’m down from my soap box.

COT – make note of this Friday’s 3rd F event beginning at 7 pm at First Presbyterian Church – the PAD which is at the top of the steps where we perform DORA. Pockets and YHC are the speakers. Guy’s only – coffee and water available. We offered several prayer requests which Linus will note in his BB.

Moleskin – I began this diatribe offering perspective of the Pain Lab as a hidden gem. It certainly is for several reasons. All those sad clowns we speak of are not former D-1 athletes that strayed from the training tables and gyms. At best, we are former high school participants or recreational players looking to stoke our competitive fires. The point of beginning this journey of Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith can be the biggest step. Posting at a workout can quickly realize the lengthy distance between our minds of what we could once do with relative ease can deteriorate when out of the game. The Pain Lab is a nice way to re-engage the body to the foray. There is no six to pick up in the Pain Lab, we’re all in one big mosh pit of sweat, encouraging each other. I’m certainly a fan of timed tabata’s as there is no particular count to achieve – you verses you can be a rep of 1 or 100 or any amount between. Whether we want to admit it or not, there is peer pressure among the PAX. We’re guys and we’re wired to compete. But the Pain Lab washes away some of that machismo, where it seems a bit like pre-season training and we’re all on the same team. So if you’ve not yet experienced the Pain Lab, step out of your comfort zone one Saturday to try this workout on for size. Hopefully like our newest FNG, you’ll realize it’s no Hunkajunk either, but a great way to get back in the game and join this great group of guys that are all pursuing similar efforts to push their rocks just a little further each day. Until the next one – thanks for the opportunity to lead.

South Street Challenge

I’ve had this beat down on the drafting table for a while, waiting for an opening on what has become a popular Q spot of late. The idea spawned from Tiger’s Q a while back at the Yank. An uphill run with pain stations at the bottom. It was a strong test, one that needed to be shared with others. So I noodled on the idea and had a general plan of what to do. But then something else shocked my brain Thursday night so I decided to pull a slick switch and have 10 minutes of Mary to kick off the festivities. It went like this:

Pledge, mild disclaimer: “get in plank” where we did each exercise for 25 seconds:

  • plank jacks
  • burps
  • jingle balls
  • mtn climbers
  • merkins
  • imperial walkers
  • high knees
  • touch left toe, raise right knee
  • touch right toe, raise left knee
  • lbcs
  • chop sticks
  • reverse crunch
  • fifer scissors with punch
  • plank rolls
  • am hammer
  • flutter kicks
  • leg raises
  • ww1
  • freddie mercury
  • ski abs

When the idea came to begin with Mary, I added a playlist with the theme of summer. Summer Nights by Van Halen was on their first album with Sammy Hagar in 1986, which we learened Island, Round-up, and obviously Madmen had not been born (#imold).  Song #2 was Summertime Girls by Y&T followed by Joe Satriani’s Summer Song. Whoopee – you missed another great set.

The PAX looked relieved that was over but the main event was waiting. I did a demo tour posting printed signs of each exercise that had a 10 count. We began the loop with 10 burpees and progressed down the three blocks to reach Second St doing merkins and monkey humpers before making the return to the top. The route was 0.48 miles round trip broken up at various intervals of:

  • burpees x 10
  • ssh x 10
  • dips x 10
  • box jumps x 10
  • merkins x 10
  • monkey humpers x 10
  • mike Tyson’s x 10
  • plank jacks x 10
  • squats x 10

The PAX pushed through with Round-up leading the charge followed closely by Dr.  Seuss.  Others that completed 4 full rounds were: Island, Turtleman, and Roscoe. Nice job men getting in over 2 miles. The rest of us were close to that mark but had to u-turn at Main St to get back on time. Which at that point I realized Spider-Man snuck out early for work. I guess fighting crime does pay.  Or maybe he went to Comic-con in Charlotte going on this weekend.

COT

We heard and lifted prayers for Lynn Ham, Breaker Breakers uncle and sister in law’s husband; Def Leppard’s son going to the hospital Monday and Timeframe asked for the Clark family that lost their little girl too soon. The announcements which are still current as of this B.B. are 3rd F event Friday 6/22 at 7 pm at First Presbyterian Pockets and YHC are sharing.

This was a good workout that if I had arrived early enough to post the signs, it could have moved much faster.  I’ll keep that in mind for the future.  Thanks for the chance to Q.

Continue reading

Maybe Turtle Man will eventually write it…maybe not

Way back, coming up on two weeks Turtle Man takes the Q at Snoballs. For as much mumble chatter as he provides, he doesn’t take the Q too often but I’m sure that will change soon. The circle began to form and Turtle Man stepped forward with a disclaimer and the pledge. We did a light warm-up of a few things that I can’t remember because, well, it’s been nearly two weeks and I can barely remember my own Q from a week ago. But as you maybe began to detect – if you don’t write a backblast for a workout which I attended, I want credit – especially during this 40 Days of Discipline. The Weasel Shaker can be a thankless job and the pay is awful, but there are certain privileges that will be invoked from time to time and this happens to be one of them. So after a brief warm-up, Turtle Man announces the sometimes disconcerting “follow me,” out of the parking lot and away we went traveling down Riverwood Parkway. We stopped after maybe two minutes of action and were commanded do to 25 merkins on our own. Turtle Man was announcing his presence with authority. He announced it a few more times so that by the time we reached Gastone’s Hill, we’d done 100 merkins. A nice shoulder burn was going and then the Thang was announced. NUR Gastone’s Hill all the way to the top; once at the top, perform 25 American Hammers (or maybe it was Flutter Kicks, or maybe he omaha’ed to Flutter Kicks, but we did 25 of an ab exercise at the top). Run forward all the way to the bottom and do I think 10 or maybe 20 squats (or some exercise like a squat intended to burn our quads). That was the loop: NUR up, ab exercise for 25 reps, Run down, 20 of a leg exercise = 0.4 of a mile each trip. Nice idea Turtle Man, which I later learned he borrowed from Stone Cold. The challenge was levied as to who could complete six rounds. To conserve time, Turtle Man omaha’ed the NUR after the third trip, opting for the standard forward mosey. At some point during the trips Stroganoff and Stone Cold had to leave a little early. We reached 06:10 and Turtle Man called for the jail-break. Sargento had been leading the charge the entire workout and following his Q, about-faced on the hill maybe 3/4 up and headed back. Gastone and maybe Whoopee decided they were going to complete the 6 laps, which they did and hustled behind us. We had a brief COT and Turtle Man took us out in a prayer.

So as you have read – a pretty good Q. That very morning after the workout I set up Turtle Man with access (again) to write his backblast. He even thanked me for doing it. But then the Sad Clown attacked him and he got lazy or lost his focus. So I’m picking up the Six in the narrative way. Here is looking forward to Turtle Man’s next Q and writing his first backblast. For all of you among the PAX, many have the ability to post a backblast. If your Q falls short – you step in and write one for him, we’re always here for each other.

Short Sale

Sunday Socks on a Monday Morning

I’m sure most of us have always had a sock drawer and depending on the time period you were growing up you had tube socks with stripes that pulled all the way up to your knees before giving way to the mid-calves and then the low cuts.  In my drawer, there were always a few blue or black pair that were the “Sunday socks.” to be worn with clothes our moms bought and we wore to church or dress up occasions. Now as an adult and wearing my Sunday attire nearly 5 days a week for work, I seem to wear my Sunday socks on a daily basis. In the early morning hours of my darkened bedroom, I grabbed my dark work socks to wear to the workout. I didn’t notice until I was in the garage searching for my shoes but there was no time to correct the mistake. Now I don’t have a “sock game” like Island (check out his Batman socks) and I’m not a millennial that buys pants a size too tight and 2 inches short to show of brightly colored socks that cost as much as case of beer. But none of the PAX called me out on it so I survived. But you didn’t pull open this backblast to read about socks. You want to know about the workout.

I grabbed the Q from Gastone as I had a few new things to try, at least they were new to me and something not performed at the Dark Snoball or the Black Snow or whatever our old Martha’s House playground is now called. The circle formed and Roadie was the lone representative from Folsom on this occasion. My man is making the rounds and putting in a lot of work which the results are noticeable. Don’t be surprised if he is standing beside you one morning. 0530 hit and we had an FNG among us. Jeff Martin was EH’ed by Defib. A former soccer player at Belmont Abbey (he’s younger than you Boudin) and police officer in Belmont. I knew what was planned and briefly considered a revision. I decided I would add a bit to the disclaimer instead – “you verses you, stop if you get dizzy, it’s okay to merlot, blah, blah, blah.” It was a good thing we had an experienced and trained medical professional among us – no, not the guy that won most beautiful cardiologist in Gastonia – he didn’t show – probably “heart-sacking with his M. No the Doc that posted is the one that can knock out nearly 100 push-ups in a minute; the one that craps his pants on mile 20 because he’s ahead of a PR at Big Sur; yeah – that one. We said the pledge and then I decided an extended warm-up was needed. It went like this:

  • 5 Burpees OYO
  • SSH – IC x 10
  • Squats – IC x 10
  • Imperial Walker – IC x 10

Mosey to the old Harris Teeter. I got to spend some time Saturday with Slaw during the workout at Folsom. A month or so ago he hit those boys with an insane routine of his favorite exercise – yes you guessed it – the burpee. He had an hour to expend and I was limited in our 45 minutes. I decided to modify a bit. So once arriving in the parking lot I shared with the PAX the four corners that would be employed: approximately 30 yards apart, nearly a square shape. At corner #1, we’d begin with 16 burpees. Run to corner #2, decrease by one to 15; Corner #3 – 14 burpees and then Corner #4 – 13 burpees. We made it two rounds before I called Omaha. Partly because the PAX had these dumbfounded looks on their face and Roadie asked to be placed on the prayer list. Plus I had other stuff to do. I thought maybe we’d come back to it if we had time. This was a tough one for sure and designed to keep the mumble chatter at a minimum which it certainly did. The problem was JK2, Whoopee, or Turtleman didn’t post. So it was eerily quite, almost too quiet except for the idiot in his car yelling “run harder!” I never said our hometown was full of the world’s brightest bulbs. The pre-tweet promised 100 burpees and we eclipsed that mark so one mission was accomplished.

Phase II of the workout was a new routine with partners. Partner 1 would get in plank and perform shoulder taps at corners 1 and 3. Partner 2 would face the opposite direction in a plank and perform 10 side hops over his partner’s extended legs. If you can’t visualize it, hopefully you’ll post the next time I Q and you can perform it yourself. At corners 2 and 4 the partners flipped positions with Partner 1 doing side to side hops and Partner 2 shoulder tapping. We went 3 rounds. The partner doing the shoulder taps did AMRAP while the one side hopping 10 times was the count.

To the long wall for something I read about in Spiderman’s backblast: the dirty hook-up. We did 10 of those in cadence against the wall, then turned around for 10 Donkey kicks in cadence before finishing with 10 hip slappers.

We formed a circle for the next routine. Stroganoff likes to name his routines so I came up with Diamonds are Forever. I don’t know about you but diamond merkins can suck, actually they suck a lot. But you gotta do some things you don’t like to get better. So we began with 10 diamond merkins. Not so bad, now for the hard part. Low diamond holds. Put your hands in position and lower down where your forearms are about an inch off the ground and your bicep almost folds on top of your forearm – hold that position for 25 seconds. All was quiet until about 10 seconds in and the moaning began and lasted until time was called. Nice work by the PAX. A brief rest before the last segment: diamond pulses. Same principal applies – lower down and then pulse your arms up and down to increase the burn for another 25 seconds.

We had a little bit of time so let’s get some Mary in while were here.

  • Flutter kicks IC x 20
  • Leg lifts SC x 20
  • American Hammer IC x 20
  • X Crunch SC x 20

We headed back to the AO for the standard close. Prayers were lifted for Roadie’s niece worried about end of grade tests and his brother whom he is trying to EH off the sad clown couch. Announcements: Folsom this Saturday is having a 2.0 friendly workout, something they plan to do monthly over the summer. HIPPA will take the Pain Lab on the road to be there as well. Start time will be 0700 instead of their normal time – make a note if you plan to attend.  Look for the newsletter with information about 2nd F coming up next week at the White Water Center’s River Jam. In June Freight will host a 3rd F event on a Friday evening – date to be confirmed.

Moleskin: For his first day out, Jeff Martin pushed himself pretty good. With his soccer and police background we named him “Shooter.” This was a hard workout for all fitness levels. Burpees are a full body exercise that exert about every muscle. But to think we did over 100 – that was strong work that elevated our heart rates and started the calorie burn. I’ll bring that one back out and hopefully we can get through the four rounds. The guys all worked hard and we all got better. Thanks to Gastone and Squirt for grabbling the six. I enjoyed the opportunity to lead the workout. Until the next one.

Folsom Road Show

Now I know how Whoopee feels when he Q’s. I woke up at 3:30 this morning in a panic that I had overslept. This was a hangover from Monday when I hit the “off” instead of “snooze” and came in hot to Rudolph’s beatdown. Excitement sped through my mind which became occupied with my opening monologue, the “suggestions”, the count and order – all the fun stuff that comes with the Q. The Weinke was pretty well set but you never know how things will go once the red light comes on and the cameras are rolling. 0500 hits and I suit up arriving early for me (thought I’m not usually on “Sparky time”), passing Stroganoff on an EC run. I was happy to see our contingent from NOGA in the SnoBalls lot, mingling with a regular Wednesday crowd that began to expand. Was there a convergence that I missed? No, this is Folsom, our brothers only 15 minutes north of us deciding to get some extra work between their Tuesday and Thursday standard AO. No FNG’s though Diva popped in for his first boot camp after torching the Coconut Horse on Sunday. So the brief disclaimer was shared: “follow my suggestions, modify as needed, you verses you, etc.” As I’ve heard the Folsom boys say 0530, “time to clock-in” we did that quickly.

Warm-Up

  • Moroccan Night Clubs IC x 11 (meant to stop at 10 but you got an extra rep)
  • Seal Jacks IC x 5

Let’s Mosey to Martha Rivers Park, Field #1

Thang:

As advertised, the upper body challenge would begin, albeit on a soggy field. At least it beats working out in a rain storm. We’re tough and handled it with a few complaints (=Sandy V’s). The set below could be completed in any order the PAX wished using the hill between the field and paved track for the Joe Hendrix.

  • Pull-ups x 3
  • Burpees x 10
  • Imperial Walker Squats x 20 (count both legs)
  • Merkins w/ alternate toe tap x 10 (count both legs)
  • Joe Hendrix up the hill

We went three rounds total. The unexpected large group challenged the space and with only one pull-up bar we had to adjust but the PAX managed through it. This took a little longer to complete so already my Weinke was under modification. A quick count off was all the rest the QIC offered then the PAX had a choice: Option A or Option B. The echo of mumble chatter said “C” – that wasn’t on the list so you then get both – we’ll squeeze them in. Mosey through the gloom and into Riverwood then making a left on Riverwood Parkway to the office building.

The Triple Nickel is a Brownstreak special (feel better soon brother). We used the small hill of the parking lot to perform 5 monkey humpers at the bottom NUR (that’s R-U-N spelled backwards if you’re a Chapel Hill fan) up the hill and in honor of our sage veteran we did 5 Def Leppard Merkins (CDD’s). Run down the hill, navigating the busy traffic to complete 5 rounds (2 different exercises with 5 reps each x 5 rounds = triple nickel. I didn’t name it, I just run the exercise). Another quick count off became confusing because Stroganoff had to leave early for a work meeting. We escaped over the rear wall to the back of the old Harris Teeter, circle to the parking lot.

Option B or Option W were offered to the PAX, only a few raised their hands for B (which would have been Burpee-cides using the parking lot lines – I’ll save that one).  So we go with Option W which was some wall work with other fun stuff to burn the shoulders.

  • Hip Slappers x 10 (total)
  • Bear crawl to the median
  • Merkins x 10
  • Run to the end of the parking lot
  • Flutter Kicks x 20 (count one leg)
  • Rinse & repeat, rinse & repeat

Most of the guys finished their third circuit and began chatting – what is this a FIA workout? You can compare weight loss tips after you clock out; we’ve got 5 minutes left – “get on your 6” we’re gonna give Mary some love:

  • Flutter Kicks IC x 20
  • Freddie Mercury IC x 20
  • American Hammer IC x 20

Time to mosey home, arriving at 0615 – Done!

COT: No real announcements other than the Folsom guys recruiting for their Saturday AO selling us on Def Leppard as the Q and the Country Kitchen’s breakfast (0630 at Biggerstaff Park – meet in lot by the tennis courts, contrary to rumor, cars are welcome). Prayers were lifted for Allen Tate’s mother-in-law, a friend of Medicine Woman, Def Leppard’s son and his upcoming travels and finally for each other.

Moleskin: You ever get those little pimple/ingrown hairs? Of course you have, you’re a man. Pesky little things that you suck it up and try to pop but sometime they don’t pop. Or worse, you scrape them off and they leave a mark and sore spot. I opened the session this morning to share with the PAX about a work task my boss had asked me to do that I had been dragging my feet to do, coming up with any excuse to push it aside; kind of like avoiding busting the little pimple, avoiding some pain. He’s a good boss that I uses some tough love to express is message occasionally; this was one of those times. I shared some of the struggles for the “ask” and he saw it was a tangled mess. So we devised a new plan of attack. The story was a bit faster in person than for you to read, but hopefully you get the point. It lead to this scripture: Colossians 1:11: “being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience.” The size of the task can be overwhelming until it is broken into parts. If we lead off our Q’s with the open kimono for the total of every rep, it can be a daunting task. But we break it up into circuits and smaller reps it is a bit easier. It works in life, not just a workout. But like life, we need each other for encouragement. The Sky Q helped with the Colossians verse.

This was a great morning for many reasons. Always fun to Q but better yet when you get the surprise of an AO converging. The power of F3 bringing guys together from different parts of our home county – there is strength in numbers and mumble chatter, which was constant. Clear instructions were provided, some listened, some modified, all got better. Sparky claimed to have been running for the 25 minutes or while he searched for us. Someone needs to buy that boy an alarm clock and set it 5 minutes ahead. Nice work by the PAX today – too many to call out. Thanks to Gastone for setting a great tone for this AO and all that get to experience it, whether leading or following.

The gauntlet has been laid, you better make your way to Folsom, otherwise they will come to you.

Until the next one, thanks for the opportunity to lead.

Short Sale

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