F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Day: August 21, 2019


Kotter: JK2

Gastone led all pax with SSH then pledge as a pax member questioned where the disclaimer was as an FNG was present … backtrack to a brief disclaimer heavy on the please don’t sue me because this is all free and all the other ……
IW in cadence then 10 Diamond Merkins and mosey to light Poles down street for squats more diamonds and then it’s turned over to ….. the new site Q —— Clavin
I begin with IW IC 15 count …..
Nearly two years ago Gastone called on me at this Lightpole for an exercise after my posting only 4-5 times ….. this was the exercise and it was supposed to be IC and oh my God I boogered it up so bad ….I believe I may have wet myself even … jk
So after short ( very short ) hand off we mosey back to start and beyond ….. mosey to barricades outside park , assemble count off ( to make sure we don’t lose anyone ) and 10 Big Boys in honor of the other site Q from Monday workouts ( mostly because he was complaining of a hangnail on his left big toe that was aggravating him during our mosey ).
Now into the park with a quick fake out to the shelter … not today … soccer fields our the next stop on the Magical Mystery Tour to honor Gastone !!
Line up face field and pax will run to 25 yd line for merkins and back to start then rush to mid field and flutters counting one side back to start and over to 75 yd line for lbcs back again and run to other side for squats and back all to the magic number 33. I now ask if any can guess why that number , JK 2 comes up with an answer about that being one third of a number or something and Turtleman starts multiplying 4 x 33 dividing 1/4 1/2 and/ or 100%….
the answer was simply that Gastone has been site q of Marthas Black Knight balls of Sno for 33 months.
Mosey again this time to little hill edge of woods for diamonds/ NUR
Then monkey humpers/ nur
Finally Gorilla humpers and Turtleman asks if a monkey can do a gorilla humper …. I say an idiot is doing just that …… Gastone said that Turtleman must be that idiot ……
Gastone now looks ready to NUR ….. so I tell him … Nope! We’re done here …. mosey to split trees on path Gastone used for 11’s in the summer ….. we will only do a single burpee and run to pull up bars for Amrap pull ups … quickly realize pax will need activity while waiting …. plank… no squats …. Gump was on 40 or 50 when I modify to do either 10 or less and change us to lbcs while waiting.
Somewhere in here I explain how I love symbolism and have tried to insert much for today’s workout… initially I considered a charge or 2 up Gastone’s Hill but decided against as I felt the need for quiet on that street may preclude much mumblechatter and that was not fair!
So now we go into parking lot circle up …. glasses are so fogged  up I call on Outhouse …. oops that’s Wet nuts … for a count off…. FAIL!
Circle up for s rapid fire merkin ring of fire SA starts us off each pax does 2 merkins … after 1 Merkin next in line begins … until back to me and repeato ….. then I call for 3 meekins each and a repeato and recover …. mosey to what Gump has titled Clavin Hill and added it on Strava or some other site …. not sure we do one burpee and bear crawl to top …. pax was so psyched I thought I heard a train and call 5 more burpees !!!! Mosey back to start and Wet Nuts is so excited because he realized that with 4 minutes to go we could honor Gastone with a Flutter kicks … so I voluntold him to lead us in the final exercise of the morn…. 40 !!! And time!! During this Defib asks for a moment for announcement and he needs to get to work …
Defib will be leading a Labor Day Murph at 7 …. Turtleman decides to NOT have a 5:30 workout that morning

Gastone next takes the floor to thank all for the support and love given him while site q and I lead us in a 3 count of hip hip hooray

I now inform all assembled of how I am excited for this opportunity and appreciate this. For the short term I won’t be actively seeking any Qs until sometime in October or November …. that is NOT to say I don’t wAnt any …. I do not want to hinder any pax seeking to Q a site that they’ve never done or another Hipaapalooza, Diggathon or anniversary, birthday birth of s child … passing of a kidney stone, bar mizvah, bat mizvah or whatever anyone has in mind !! Just ask !!

Lastly before the announcements ….. why Mathletes in the title? Well for starters before the workout I heard JK2 explaining his name being John and Kate plus 8 minus 6 ,,,,also the 33 all that ensued there and lastly the naming if our FNG ….. we set a worlds record naming him as one pax said before we even got to know him!!! He has 8 kids !! Someone called Ocho Cinco and I called for his pax felt …. sounded great. …. and funny… my M asked when I got home if anyone at the workout was capable of doing math or  knew any Spanish …. well I took 3 years of French …. besides sometimes it’s better when we come up with something out of left field making you scratch your head ……. could’ve been worse ,,,, my M said we should’ve used Octomom!!!!

Stop soldier Suicide

Stair climb 9/14

Fathers /2.0 event At The Yank Saturday 7:00


YHC prayed us out , prayers for Kids and school

Montross’s Nursery Rhymes For HIMs and The Baby Shark Abs Challenge

Late Monday afternoon, I picked up the Q at Midoriyama for Tuesday and wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do. I was already planning to post at Folsom on Tuesday morning for a cinder block workout with Tater Hole so blocks wouldn’t be a good idea. I decided to see what Tater Hole Q’d at Folsom, then I’d pull a weinke together based on what I felt I could still do!

Let’s take a quick step back to this past summer: I was inspired while visiting F3 Grandstrand in June. A HIM named Kitten led the workout and Q’d from a children’s book about, you guessed it, kittens. It was very creative as well as a tough workout! I had an idea to make it my own book similar to what he’d done, but just hadn’t gotten around to putting it together yet. I decided Tuesday morning I could put a little effort into this around lunch and pull it off.

I was able to get out of work in time to beat the traffic and arrived to see one lone HIM in the shadows of the restroom awning, escaping the light rain. Wojo! We chatted for a while about the rain, basketball, glory days, and what not as a few others arrived. I, for one, was NOT mad about the rain. I normally post in the morning so the typical Midoriyama heat would have sucked the life right out of me! It was a refreshing 77 F with light rain as the clock struck 5:30 PM and 12 HIMs clocked in for a trip down memory lane as we read the future New York Times Bestseller: Montross’s Nursery Rhymes For HIMs


Side Straddle Hops – 15 IC
Toy Soldiers – 10 IC
Cotton Pickers – 10 IC
Moroccan Night Clubs as we patiently wait for one of our seniors to join the group. Honestly, our arms would have fallen off if we had waited for this unnamed Respect HIM to complete is wardrobe change so we got started, knowing he’d catch up.

So what is Montross’s Nursery Rhymes For HIMs? Just a little illustrated book I put together of well-known nursery rhymes and children’s songs from everyone’s childhood. Each page of the book has a different nursery rhyme and picture (all children’s books need illustrations, right?). There’s also an exercise that relates to the nursery rhyme in some way on each page. We didn’t cover every page of the book, but here’s what we did cover:

Slaw introduce the men to our first nursery rhyme. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick!

Exercise: Elevens featuring Jump Squats and Mike Tysons. Work on your ‘nimbleness’ as you tighten that core with the Mike’s and hop right over that candlestick over and over with those jump squats!

We took a little mosey down the street as I looked for a little hillside fitting for our next exercise. I didn’t pick the steepest hills due to the rain and safety. Up next: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, bumped his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.

Exercise: Triple Nickel – 5 Burpees, run up hill, 5 American Hammers in cadence, run down the hill. Repeat 5 times. Fortunately, everyone was careful and no PAX ‘bumped their crown’. There may have been one PAX complaining about doing exercises on your on and in cadence. Well, 5 American Hammers isn’t hard enough for me, but hey, you vs you playa!

We take another short mosey down the street to a nice flat area as Slaw reads our next rhyme: Eeny, meeny, miny moe, catch a tiger by his toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miny moe!

Exercise: Partner Wheel Barrels – one does the wheel barrel while the other drives, do 10 SSH each (OYO, but also in cadence again LOL), flip-flow roles, repeate 10 SSH each. The book says repeat as time allows here and I thought about another round, but I wanted to get through as much of the book as possible.

The next nursery rhyme was saved for one specific HIM. Sister Act read the next one: Red rover, red rover, send a Douche Bag right over.

Exercise: Interval Running Training: Nur, Sprint, and then recovery walk to light poles for round 1. I wanted to do 2 or 3 sets of this, but it was just too slick for sprinting so we moved to the next round of training. High Knees, Butt Kickers, Karaoke for rounds 2 and 3 .

I could think of no one better to read the next rhyme than our very own Dr Seuss, a man who has been teaching this one for YEARS! It’s the “Alphabet Song”! A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O P, Q R S, T U V, W X Y and Z.
Now I know my ABCs, next time won’t you sing with me.

Exercise: On your six, legs together. Write the alphabet in the air. Unfortunately I was unable to get Dr Seuss to sing the song, but we’ll let it slide this time! I did prove my handwriting is horrible.

I felt like we needed some singing at this point and if there was one HIM in this group I could count on for some flair who would not be scared to sing, it is Bedpan. He bellowed out a wonderful rendition of “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. If you’re happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it. If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!”

Exercise: Jacked Up! – 25 Side Straddle Hops, 20 Seal Jacks, 15 Plank Jacks, 10 Crossover Jacks, 5 Smurf Jacks, all in cadence. Yogi was practically begging for his life at this point but the 2nd-time poster pushed through. Frankly, Yogi pushed hard all workout long. Thanks to the PAX who helped support him along the way today!

We take a short mosey back across the parking lot to the area adjacent to where the flag was. It is only appropriate that burpee connoisseur Slaw read this next one: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men, couldn’t put Humpty together again.

Exercise: AMRAP Burpees. 1 minute. It took too long for the clock to start so we got started a little early. Sister Act suggested working on form over quantity and many obliged. Good call. Take that Merkin all way to the ground!

Special shout out to Tater Hole for bringing the speaker. It was absolutely necessary for the finale of my Q of nursery rhymes and children’s songs. The Baby Shark Abs Challenge! If you haven’t seen it before, here’s a link! It is hard! Some completed it, some didn’t. Regardless, we can’t do it anywhere near as well as the young girls in the video. I challenge any of you to give it a shot.

We had a few minutes left so I figured we’d call a little round of Mary to wipe us out!

Slaw – Freddie Mercuries – 15 IC (I think that’s how many we did)
Sister Act – Plank Jack Merkins – 10 IC
Oompa led 22 for the vets (using his Drill Sargent voice!)

Time! YHC took us out in prayer.

Final thoughts: Thanks to you all for the opportunity. It is an honor to lead at Midoriyama! Many of those men pickup Saturday Q’s a Folsom for us and they bring it! I like to get out there from time to time myself and try to give it back! Midoriyama is a brutal workout because 1) you’re typically surrounded by some of the strongest and fasted guys in F3 Gastonia, but 2) the heat isn’t something most of us are used to working out in. That being said, if you have never been to Midoriyama, put it on your calendar and step up to the JV workout fellas! I’m also excited to see my friend Yogi make his second post and I hope to see him become a regular at Midoriyama and one day lead bootcamps!

Weinke Before

Weinke After

Prison Break

11 PAX avoided the fartsack at this mornings. We ran, walked, and/or rucked. We all got better because of it.


  • JJ 5K
  • Christmas Town 5k
  • 2.0 Workout at the Yank


  • All PAX
  • Kids going back to school

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