F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Date: July 30, 2018

Changes at the dark knight or is it the black night?

Another typical morning in the gloom expecting a Gastone beat down, who had sent a pre-blast something to the effect of a surprise announcement or Q.   There was a big turn out.  More on that later.  There was 1 FNG, welcome Cow Bell.    Gastone provided the standard disclosures and hit on the 5 principles of F3.  He seemed to be focused and determined at this point and jumped right in to warm up.

The thang:

SSH x 25 ic

Merkins x15 ic

Mosey to the park taking the scenic view along the fields

Partner up for elevens- start with hand slap merkins, move up the hill for partner derkins, then back

Rinse and repeat till complete

40 lbs’s while waiting on the six

At this point, Gastone gathered the Pax for an announcement.  Started talking about change and how it was time to hand off the baton after about 18 months for the dark knight Monday AO.   At this point, I noticed a number of tears from the Pax.  Maybe that was the sweat or perhaps sadness.  Gastone shared that YHC was taking over.   Feeling the love, YHC immediately called the next exercise, none other than  tunnel of love.  Form a line, get in a plank position  with the beginning of the line completing a military crawl.  Continue till the end of the line.

Turtle walk – like an Indian Run, except with a bear crawl.  Key learning, this doesn’t work with so many men after so many merkins.

Mosey to play ground

Partner up

Partner A completes.10 pull ups while partner B completes 20 squats

Rinse and repeat

Mosey towards snoballs

Stop for 20 big boy sit ups

Mosey to the start

End with the pledge

The mole skin

A pretty big Q fail on my part.  Video did not record during namerama.   If you were there and don’t see your name let me know.

A big shout out to all AO leads for ensuring Q’s go off without a hitch.  For those recently relinquishing, thank you for your leadership and for setting the bar high.

It’s always a honor to lead.  Till next time – Turtleman

Red Whoopetta

I have been in a “Q slump” lately. One of my Q’s recently was a disappointment for me. I made a concerted effort to work on what I thought would be a good workout-one that was challenging and allowed for mumble chatter, kept the group together without too much abuse on any new guys, and had a little something extra to keep people interested. Today was good for me-hoope it was for the others who posted. I thought it was challenging and although the mumble chatter was not intense, it was sort of like an old pair of Chuck Taylors-it got the job done but was nothing fancy. I met someone at church this week and mentioned our workout. Immediately I realized this guy was going to be all in-he was a big time runner in the past, has a lot of self motivation, and has a bit of sharp and witty humor that fits right in with our group. Also, he did not flinch when I mentioned 530am….I have been wrong before so I was relieved when I saw John Robinson, AKA RaRaRa get out of the car (with gloves!!!) just before we started-you will have to ask him what his name means…#showtoknow.

0530 rolled around and I gave a quick disclaimer, we said the pledge, then we started with a quick warmup: 5-6 SSH, Merkins, Squats, then a few burpees to get us going.

Mosey to Martha’s…..hold up, there’s a trash truck in our way….salute him with some Monkey Humpers until he moves then mosey on again. Along the way we stopped for some Sumo Squats at a few lights then got to the hill by the baseball field. I had Pax get in 2 lines, turn toward each other and there is your partner-A) plank, B) run up the short hill for 5 burpees then back down, flapjack, rinse and repeat for total of (I think) 5 sets. Quick recover then mosey to the Turd Shack. We stopped along the way for some flutter kicks (stay as a group, listed the 5 CORE principals of F3 for our FNG’s benefit mainly). On the way, some un-named pax named Gastone or Defib mentioned something about a wall at the turd shack and asked if we could do some Hip Slappers. Well call me Sally and smack me on the butt, no way I’m gonna turn down that request. Get on the wall britches and let’s do some Hip Slappers!!!! We did some Hip Slappers then I think LBCs then some more Hip Slappers. I was watching the clock-the “meaty” part of my Q was still to come. There was some complaining, I mean mumble chatter on the wall but I was not deterred. We kept slapping until I thought the pax had been sufficiently slapped.  Recover quickly then mosey to the soccer field. It is still pretty dark at this point but we made it without any real issues.

At his point I asked the FNG a very important question…one that would determine whether we, scratch that, whether I would ever invite him back to be part of our inner circle or even speak with him….and the question was something like “Have you heard of the song by Rush called Red Barchetta?” And his response (sorry Stroganoff, ShortSale, and Roscoe, I REALLY wish you were here for this one) was “Who is Rush??”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost hugged this guy. If I was smart enough, I would have planned this the day before.  At this point I got a bit giggly like one of my teen-aged daughters. I might have peed or sharted on myself as well but I’m not really sure. Yeah, pretty sure I peed on myself but really, so what. I could have sharted on myself and I would not have cared AT ALL. I gained what little bit of composure I could and quickly reminded the Pax what the Red Barchetta workout involves. Then I told them that was NOT what we would be doing. We would be doing the Red Whoopetta. Basically it is the same thing but instead of counting reps, we would continue doing the exercises until I got tired and then mosey back to start and plank. The routine went sort of like this: Run 100 yards, SSH until Whoopee gets tired and run back then plank. Recover, run 75 yards then Mtn Climber until Whoopee gets tired, mosey back, plank. Recover, run 50 yards, flutter until Whoopee gets tired/bored, mosey back then plank. Recover, run 25 yards, then 25 merkins OYO, then mosey back, plank. Recover, run 10 yards, 10 Burpees OYO then back to start. I wanted the opportunity for mumble chatter for the Pax so I took the counting out of the equation. I believe we did some Jack Webb’s (set of 10) somewhere in here but I am not sure when.

We moseyed back to the wall, re-partnered back up and P1 did LBCs while P2 did balls to the wall. I think we each did 2 sets of 15 and Sister Act helped with the counting on this. Honestly, I was a bit gassed at this point. We did some chair also but I cannot remember when.

We then started the mosey back to start-we stopped along the way for some Sumo Squats and other stuff that I cannot remember. I do remember Defib telling a funny joke about cellophane and a patient he recently saw in the office…can’t remember it now, maybe later. Where was JK2 or Squirt with his 2 boys full of endless jokes???

Once we got to the road someone (maybe me?) yelled jailbreak and out of nowhere this blue streak came by me-It was Linus making a bee-line for finish at top speed. Again, Linus is busting his butt. I said it before and I will say it again-Linus has stepped up his game since becoming site Q at Schiele/GasHouse. Nice work.

We got back to home base for a quick little bit of Mary then the bell rang to finish us up. Quick announcements, prayer requests, then named our FNG-John Robinson-RaRaRa-great guy, says he will be back on Wednesday but I will be out the rest of the week. I will be surprised if he is not there. I think he smiled the whole time. Continue to make him feel welcome and direct him towards those Cramer Mountain guys-he just moved in over there and suspect he will be looking for more workouts soon.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

Whoop’ass’

Linus, arrival 6:30’ish, planted shovel flags, off for EC and to vet my Q.  Survey the grounds, shore up some weakness, nailed it, arrive back at the Schiele to find Dolph and company muscle bound and shirtless.  Too much for me, I merlot’ed in the brick vestibule and gunned it for the car, hopped in and started to back out when the PAX caught me and made me carry on with the Q.  Extremely intimidating to be leading the leader’s.

Disclaimer, no FNG’s, only serious well sculpted terrifying PAX staring at me.  No further disclaimer needed, on with sideshow.  Start, one Monkey Humper in cadence, Short Sale will not start with Side Straddle Hop and of course Brown Streak likes to know how many we are going to do.

SSH – 20 in cadence

LBC’s – 20 in cadence

Merkin – 10 in cadence

Something else – (insert # here) in cadence

Off we go.  Pax tried to convince me not to notice the Bear Crawl path to the left as we moseyed up the hill but that area somehow just kept beckoning me to arrive.  Up to Grier, down to the old Gymnasium where Dolph (for the first time I’ve ever seen) nearly loses a battle with a russet vermillion arachnid the size of a 50’s style BMW Iseta.  Tool Time jumps in to yank Dolph back from the near bloody bruising losing battle and whop’s a Batman ‘POW’ on the slightly non-venomous but mighty inch sized thoraxed mite which mostly sent the pint sized demon back to the wall seeking safety and pining for the impending school year to haunt the unsuspecting teenagers.  Great, off to a good start so far, Dolph with the jitters and Tool Time feeling like a warrior, everybody with their shirts off, 5 pull ups on a roof capped portico with enough space to slide 1/2 a hand through for a greasy grip.  Luckily Tool Time hit his head (about the time I remembered I cruised through that disclaimer) on the rusty aluminum head slicer and I’m trying to complete my 2nd rep while the PAX finished all 5 trying to concentrate on my lift and checking the concrete for blood.  All good (I think), Tool Time only slightly damaged the metal and it actually seemed to strengthen his warrior resolve.  Two more times, pull ups times 5.  Move on to the main event with Tool Time talking crap to the mighty small Tarantula.

Mosey to the baseball field.  Monstrously small hill ahead, let’s Bear Crawl up, 20 CDD’s at the top and 20 incline/reverse derkins (stand at tables, lean and press).  Still not sure what it is called as many suggestions helped to confuse me more.  First round I did with relative ease as I came back down the hill to greet the finished PAX.  Bottom of hill, bad decision making time.  Bear Crawl backwards up the hill, 20 CDD’s at the top and 20 reverse derkins.  I think that single decision drained what life I had left in me.  Finished though, all of us and I continued on borrowing page’s from Roscoe’s playbook.  Warning to all, do NOT ever borrow an event from Roscoe’s playbook.  Serious major shin splints to epicondylitis to minor fatalities could occur.  Modified 11’s, 5 Burpees at the bottom, top of hill is 10 Derkins.  Have to give the Kudos to each PAX.  All lapped me at least by 2-3 times and each one took a turn carrying me up the hill, Moses did his Burpees while carrying me, what a beast.  I’m leaning on him to Q sometime and ToolTime offered to co-Q with him, T-claps for the support sir.  That exercise alone really wore me down, thanks to the PAX for the sustenance.

Finish, slow mosey to the field except ToolTime wanting more so he did a slow sprint to the designated area.  When I caught up about 15 minutes later we started on some additional pain.  Start, 10 8-count Absolution.  Tool Time bitched.  Monk and Toto with the excellent form.  Plank position, feet up/feet back 1/2, left elbow down/right elbow down 3/4, feet out/feet in 5/6, right arm up/left arm up 7/8 (brings you back to plank).  2nd merlot for the day for me.

10 PCMB’s (Prisoner Cell Merkin Burpees).  Demo twice so I counted that in my 10.  Hey, modify as needed, I heard myself say that in the weak disclaimer.

10 Alabama Butt Kickers – Trying to keep the exercise language clean, I called the word ‘butt’ but Tool Time argued that ‘Ass’ is perfectly theologically accurate and acceptable and with the ensuing mumble chatter you would not believe the amount of ‘ass’ around that place, guy’s dream I suppose.  End of that round we were all an ‘ass’.

Mosey on the track to the Bear Crawl path, 1/2 way around I realized we could have taken a shorter route so we moseyed back to the start to take the shorter path.  Arrival at the 50′ Bear Crawl path, nearly vomit free and Whoopee notes that it is not 50′ long.  Me, Linus, feeling like a mistral chinook proposes to Whoop’ass a guess to how long it really is?  Whoopee responds, well, I don’t know.  Hmmmmm, you don’t know?  You, Whoopee/Whoopass, don’t know?  But, you sure as hell know it’s not 50′ feet!  Well, okay with me.  We agreed it was somewhere between 1-999′ long.  Keeps everybody jubilant.

50′ long +/- track – Lunge track while Pax planks, round 1.  Bear Crawl while Pax engages in Al Gore, round 2.  Crabwalk while PAX planks, round 3.

Mosey to shaded section of track, quick round of Mary, long enough to give us about 2 minutes and 32 seconds to get back to the Schiele.

Back, survived, yes.

Moleskin:

8/11 – FIA like event starting at Folsom, 8:00 by Pizza Man’s wife.

8/25 – 50 mile local CSAUP, cookout at Sargento’s afterwards that evening, Pax and M’s only.  Only one M per Pax please

9/22 – Speed for Need / Soldier Suicide event

9/22 – JJ 5K, Trail Run in Stanley

10/6 Burpeethon to benefit Special Olympics NC hosted by Gastonia Police Department.  Sign ups to be online soon.  ToolTime and Hippa working together to promote event.  Last year this event raised $1500, the 2nd largest fundraiser of the year for them.  This time ToolTime is lobbying to double this amount plus.  So, all PAX will be signed up in advance with 60 day terms, Roscoe will arrest non-payers and Monk will pray for them.  No to above, but seriously sign up and do not miss this special event.

Concerns:  Sly still in Afghanistan, praying for arrival home in Nov/Dec timeframe, Monk and Whetstone program, Hippa with family concerns, safe travels for Hippa and Slaw.

Honored to lead where I am frequently the Six.

Linus, out.

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