F3 Gastonia

Fitness, Fellowship, Faith

Core Cardio Climax

  • When: 12/01/2017
  • QIC: Short Sale
  • PAX: Clavin, Time Frame, Spiderman, Slaw, Turtleman, Gastone, Roscoe, Boudin, Bandit, Whoopee, Def Leppard (Respect), Stone Cold, Short Sale (QIC)

Not sure about you but for me on the days that I am the QIC, the slowest part is the drive between my house and the AO, seems like I catch every red light or get behind the slowest driver, impeding progress to their inevitable destination. Such was the case this morning as I gathered my equipment for the workout arriving to the circle sharply at 0530 to which Roscoe replied “You’re late…” As far as I know, the workout begins when the Q decides the workout begins, so my defensive humor blurted: “My watch is the official clock today.” The surge of Q Power pumped through my tongue. The aforementioned slowest part of a Q, at least for me, is followed by the fastest 45 minutes. We all have those days where we grind through, checking the time at various intervals and groaning if the end remains a distant light. Hopefully that was not the case today as 12 other HIMs were eagerly awaiting the instructions. YHC fumbled to get the music started, announcing a brief disclaimer (I’m not good at that part, usually forgetting – anyone have a good script I can read?). Our time began like this:

Warm-Up (Insanity style)

  • SSH
  • Goofballs (in honor of Sargento – where was he?)
  • Mummy Kicks

Each exercise was 30 seconds for three rounds without a break = 4:30. While the PAX huffed and puffed, the playlist began with a tribute to a Gastonia legend who may have rolled his skateboard over the very same turf we were standing. Back in the day Fred Durst was a young skate dude. Who would have dreamed of the success and fame he’d find in the music business. So we led off with “Nookie.”


No mosey, yet…the PAX paired off into partners with YHC joining Slaw and Whoopee for a menage a trois. Partner #1 did 15 big boy sit ups while Partner #2 held their feet and did AMRAP of Plank Jacks, then flap jack; rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. To make Whoopee happy, I played George Straight singing Jingle Bells. Turtleman inquired if it was Alvin and the Chipmunks…can’t say I disagree but the Q aims to please and I try to keep my PAX happy, especially when they make requests.  GnR’s Nightrain followed and Slaw sang away.

Now, time to mosey to the FUMC/WF parking lot. Keep your partners, where each team was numbered #1-6. Group #1 would run to Franklin St and back while the remaining PAX would go through the routine below, with each group serving as the timer on their turn to run.

  • Flying Squirrel x 5
  • High Knees x 10 (count right leg)
  • Squat Jacks x 10
  • Mtn Climbers x 10 (count right leg)
  • SSH x 10

As soon as the running group returned, the next group took off and the set re-started. This needs some work as the timing did not work as I had hoped. Either the running route needs to be lengthened or the exercise/reps need to be reduced. I’ll tinker in the lab on that one. But I did fulfill Slaw’s request to play Trans-Siberian Orchestra (First Snow) to prep him for the upcoming show. Twisted Sister’s rendition of Oh Come All Ye Faithful was next. It sounds as awful as you are imagining it.

Check of the watch said 0551 – had to forego the Hand-Slap Merkins, maybe next time…mosey to the parking deck for the 4×4. This sounds simple and once you do a set, it goes pretty quickly: Four exercises with four reps each (counting the right side when applicable).

  • Ski Abs
  • Jack-Merkins
  • Burps
  • Peter Parker (gotta honor the AO site Q)

After completing the set, run about three/fourth’s of the parking deck, return and repeat. I had scheduled three rounds of this but the PAX were moving rapidly and my last routine needed about 15 minutes, so I added three more rounds for a total of six. The playlist included You’ve Got Another Thing Coming (Judas Priest) and Wasted Years (Iron Maiden – strong guitar beginning).

Time to mosey back to the Rotary Pavilion where YHC handed out the Core Meltdown flier I drafted at work yesterday (a nice distraction from a boring meeting). Brownstreak returned this week and I think he would be proud at not only the full list of exercises, number of reps, number of sets (3), but the graphic drawings of how to perform. They were intended for the PAX to take home and follow when unable to make an F3 workout – the gifts begin early as we hit December 1st. Whoopee said he’d wipe his arse with his. Probably so since his M threw all their toilet paper in their trees after her Auburn Tigers won the Iron Bowl. Boudin said he might throw his sheet on eBay or you can copy from below:

  • Flutter Kicks x 20
  • LBC’s x 15
  • Leg Raises x 10
  • Freddie Mercury x 20
  • 15 Heel Touches (Penguin Crunches) x 15
  • Modified V-Sits x 10
  • American Hammer x 20
  • Long Arm Crunches x 15
  • Reverse Crunches x 10

We did three total sets with a slight rest between. Musically, we heard: Dr. Feelgood (where was he?) followed by a special treat of Rush’s Overture from their R30 tour. This prompted some PAX sharing about past concerts attended. Time Frame has quite a resume. Roscoe does as well, fresh off a Dream Theatre show Wednesday night. Maybe I’ll use a DT piece for the entire workout in the future.

With a minute left I asked the PAX to get into elbow plank for the culmination of my Weinke. I clicked to the last song: Laying Pipe by Pornosonic featuring the Hedgehog — JK2—I mean Ron Jeremy. Just in case we get to one day be as fortunate as the Mayor that ‘heart-sacks’ on Friday mornings, we practiced with Baby Makers. It’s a great way to tone our abs – you should try it as often as possible. F3nation has refused to enter this into the exercise lexicon despite my weekly submissions. So for what seemed like an eternity, we lasted about 30 or 40 seconds before the workout climaxed liked Pete North.


Prayers lifted for Pizza Man’s Grandmother recovering from hip replacement (reportedly doing well), Stroganoff’s with the loss of his uncle, and the return of those PAX that had been on hiatus. Announcements for the (Before) Christmas Party tonight at Lotus at 7 pm and Saturday morning’s convergence 0700 at GasHouse. Bring a toy for Operation Sweet Tooth. Bandit will continue to accept donations until delivery to the Gastonia Boy’s and Girls Club on 12/12.


My M changed her workout schedule that allowed me the freedom to attend F3 every morning this week. I had not been able to attend Downtown in quite some time, so I grabbed the Q slot to allow Spiderman a rest from leadership duties. I posted every day except for Tuesday and my 46 year old body is feeling it. Hush Puppy and Defib worked my upper body and the return of Brownstreak caused my quads to burn from his Sprint-ables workout. Props go out to Gastone that Q-ed five successive days back in October. Also to Whoopee who not only posted every morning this week but added extra credit, showing up before workouts to get in additional Ruck training. He’s becoming a beast – look out Dolph. Recognition to Slaw hitting a tri-fecta in the past 24 hours with a Thursday am and pm before this morning’s session. Boudin is making the rounds proving he is not only a Big Deal in Belmont, but some of us already knew that. Turtleman and Bandit were back in the fold, and all the PAX pushed the rock up the hill this morning. It was a climactic 45 minutes. Hopefully my return trip to Downtown will not be another two months. Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

1 Comment

  1. It’s so hard first thing in the morning to remember something that you know was in your brain but hearing of Fred Durst song made me remember his Grammy speech when he spoke of everyone being in agreeance……. yes you read that correctly

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