After a number of posts mingled among the PAX it was time to step into the center ring and head of the line. I read Freed to Lead, digested the back blasts, combed the F3 exercise list, and planned my strategy for a worthy beat down at Martha’s House. Prior to a brotherly EH from Whoopee and Roscoe, YHC’s fitness regiment began with Insanity and various other DVD’s. All provide a great workout but without any accountability other than one’s conscious. Enter F3 where inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes; where you don’t want to let you partner down plugging through a Dora 1-2-3 (shout out to JK2 and T-Square); where one idiot could lead a PAX full.
As with any new experience, my nerves were shaking but my PAX were supportive and ready for my version of Insanity to begin. We didn’t quite achieve 45 minutes of Mary, but it was a good half hour’s worth. YHC crafted a Weinke featuring standard exercises and a few new ones. It went like this:
Warm-up (in cadence – for the most part)
- Dollys x10
- Crab Cakes x15
- WW II Sit Ups x 15
- Hillbillies x15
- Imperial Walkers x15
- LBC’s x15
- Plank Taps x10 (in plank: Set 1: alternate extending left hand then right hand. Set 2: alternate extending left foot and right foot. Set 3: alternate extending right hand/left foot, left hand/right foot.)
- Floor Tuck Jumps x 15 (on 6, heels on ground, knees bent, lean back with hands in front of shoulders and lift your knees to your hands – as you would a standing tuck jump – contrary to Madoff’s backblast 5/13 – this is not ‘jazz hands’).
- Dying cockroach x15 (in gratitude for Bandit’s technical assistance)
Short mosey across the street to the bank for the pledge, a few announcements…
The Thang
The PAX went for a very short mosey, returning to the rear parking lot of the AO declaring that was enough running for the day – the subtle groans and chatter meant intended goal #1 was achieved.
I had a few treats in store beginning with the musical soundtrack primarily of 80’s rock, metal, or cheesy sound tracks to inspire the PAX through the beat down. Wanting to share the origin of my fitness journey, the format followed Insanity circuits with 4 exercises at 30 seconds each with a 30 second rest between sets, or so it was intended.
Circuit 1
- Squat Jack with a twist (Ozzy – Crazy Train)
- Diamond Merkins (Iron Maiden – The Trooper)
- Bobby Hurleys (Hoosiers soundtrack)
- Peter Parkers (Spiderman theme – tv version)
- Rinse, repeat 2x
Water break (In order to limit the Q’s name in vain later today, refreshments were provided). It was eerily quiet among the PAX at this point, intended goal #2 achieved; we pushed ahead.
Circuit 2
- Ski Abs [in plank, keep knees together and pull to right elbow, back to plank, pull knees to left elbow] (Metallica – For Whom the Bell Tolls)
- Side elbow plank with tap overs [top foot taps forward/back – switch sides mid-way] (Motley – Dr. Feelgood)
- Alternating leg raises with punch (ACDC – For Those About to Rock)
- Oblique Merkins [hands at 12 and 3, merkin right; switch hands to 12 and 9, merkin left] (Dokken – Mr. Scary)
- Repeat 1x (we lost Stroganoff and Easy Rider who had a work meeting at 7 am – how convenient)
Circuit 3
- Freddie Mercury (The Spirit of the Radio)
- Plank walk 2x then Merkin 4x (YYZ)
- Squat then lunge – alternate (One Little Victory)
- Captain Thor (Far Cry)
- Omaha Sets 2 & 3 – it looked good on paper, forgot to include extended recovery time between…note to self
Circuit 4
- Mountain Climbers (The Who – Baba O’Riley)
- Jack Feet with L/R upper cuts [needed punching exercise to go with music] (Rocky Theme Song – Gonna Fly)
- Merkins (another Rocky – Going the Distance aka the song during the final round)
- Baby Makers [New! Elbow plank; thrust (checked thesaurus.com – yes, thrust is the only way to describe this type of forward movement) pelvic area forward as if to simulate a particular act of nature] (background music: Pornosonic – Laying Pipe featuring Ron Jeremy – available for download on iTunes). Insanity Cardio Abs officially called this exercise Pulse Tucks – they provide a good burn to your abs however most of PAX fizzled out after 10 seconds – wondering if a blue pill might keep the energy going – next time.
- Omaha Sets 2 & 3
COT
Reminder to send names to Bandit for Belmont – June 11th is the first event. If you want to do the Blue Ridge Relay – contact Whoopee – meeting at Brixx Monday night. We lifted prayers up for T-Square and his son and uncle for strength and healing.
Thanks to my fellow PAX for the opportunity to lead today’s session. Like any cross-fit or insanity type of workout the goal is muscle confusion. No better to achieve that than to have YHC as a VQ, but hopefully future sessions will be improved upon and much less insane.