As 21 (22) PAX convened at the GasHouse AO it was quickly apparent that a mission awaited to save a fallen PAX. This would require team work and the extra effort of the KOK (@Dolph) and top chasers.
Warm up (Mission prep):
30 Side straddle hop in cadence
20 Goofballs in cadence
15 Mountain climber merkins in cadence
25 LBCs in cadence
GasHouse Men’s Choir (Stroganoff and Wimpy) led the PAX in a group lament over the loss of our compatriot, Bonnie. If only we could Bring Back My Bonnie To Me. In squat formation the group did it’s best Uumpa Luumpa impersonation by going up and down with each B-word sung. The voices cracked but the resolve to bring Bonnie back deepened.
Final Mission Prep – Pledge and farewell to the usual AO
The PAX saw what was left of Bonnie lying without arms or legs in the shadow of the wind blown Stars and Stripes. (One Everest Heavy bag). A 50 foot rope was held in one hand by all PAX with a solemn vow to “tow the line.” The rope would not drop, nor would Bonnie. Some said they were used to a bigger rope. Not many believers. The PAX stood unified as they resolved carry Bonnie through the terrible, horrible that was ahead.
Dolph assumed his KOK role by hoisting Bonnie across his shoulder and the extended Mosey began. The PAX was surprised as a right turn was taken away from the normal AO. Quads bulged as the PAX charged up the Garrison Blvd. hills to the waves and horns of oncoming traffic. The eyes of passer-bys told a story of encouragement and a wish that they could shake their own sad clown feelings … and the pounds from last night’s super-sized combo.
The continued cadence of men giving maximum effort woke many of the Roland Park neighborhood as the PAX held on to the line. Pain stations along the way included:
Pain Station 1:
25ic High Knees
Pain Station 2:
Ladder exercise: (3 sets sprints down and up hill)
Set 1: Bottom of Hill 5 Mericans/ Top of Hill 5 WW II sit ups
Set 2: Bottom 10 Mt. Climbers/ Top 10 Sqauts
Set 3: Bottom 15 Burpees/ Top 15 LBC
Bonnie seemed to get heavier but the PAX shared the load and kept moving. Another surprise turn took the PAX across barbed wire and chain link fortifications and deep into the forrest. Without weapons the PAX picked up rock “coupons” and entered a primitive outpost previously occupied by little people. Everyone traded rocks and a series of team improvement exercises which included:
Front weighted arm raises – in cadence
Tricep extensions – in cadence
Concentration bicep curls
Raised arm squats
Modified Freddy Mercury – Slow with both legs extended to 6 inches before the other leg bends forward
After returning coupons the PAX circled for a ring of fire. The PAX held plank position as a pond perimeter was visually inspected via sprint. The odors from the pond provided many with memories of childhood ordeal, and Brownstreak with thoughts of home. It is always a boost for morale to see old guys try to sprint with Double Hate Shrimp Boat. Audible was necessary to complete the ring as planks for more than a few minutes become rest breaks.
Nearby benches beckoned for a quick dip-a-thon. Dolph and Pele went into beast mode on parallel bars with dips that either motivated or humiliated all others. With Bonnie hanging on for survival and the extraction site in distant view, Pele led a sling-shot attack on the last hill pulling the rear PAX into acute hypoxia. No one let go of the line!
Derkins, Merkins and 8 minutes of Mary were completed at the extraction site. Whoopee humped the sky and shared mumble chatter that only comes at the end of a brutal workout and should never be written. Thought we were done… Shrimp Boat requested one more ab exercise. That is why we say Hate, hate.
GREAT NEWS … all held the line and Bonnie made it home. Fantastic work men!!